Okay so since not everyone sticks to read the description or foreword or blah blah blah, I am going to tell you this. 

This story is just pure crack with no plots and all. It all originated from my talk with my sister and LOL this came out xD

Hope you enjoy~

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Everyone did not believe it.

Do Kyungsoo of EXO is getting married.

Do Kyungsoo, is freaking getting married to a girl.

At first, the EXO boys were confused when Kyungsoo happily waved his wedding invitation in front of them joyfully as he skipped around the room. Kris, annoyed, tore the piece of card out of Kyungsoo’s hands as he squinted his eyes to read the mangled Korean letters. Giving up, he tossed the letter to Suho, asking for him to read the card out loud to the others.

“…blah blah…” Suho said as he read the first part of the invitation in lighting speed Korean, making some of the M members whine. “…invite you to Do Kyungsoo’s wedding ceremony with Song Kang Hee-“

“WHAT? YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED?!?!?” Kai was the first to make an outburst. Kyungsoo grinned as he skipped on the sofa and happily nodded. The other boys got rowdy as they bombarded Kyungsoo with questions. Kyungsoo completely ignored it as he twirled around the living room, making some classy ballerina moves and ends it with a graceful pirouette as he bowed down to his audience. The boys just stared at him with their mouths hanging open.

“Hyung! Are you kidding us?!?” Sehun was the second to speak. Kyungsoo shook his head.

“No, I really am getting married. I am getting married, Oh Sehun!” Kyungsoo said happily as he pulled Sehun by the arm and started to waltz with him, only that the waltz was 90% percent faster that it was suppose to.

“Hyung!” Sehun wailed. Chen pulled Sehun from the happy Kyungsoo. Sehun wobbled a while before becoming steady.

“How could you not tell us that you have a girlfriend?!?” Yixing said, clearly offended. Chanyeol snorted as he whacked the boy’s head.

“Dude, we all know he was dating that girl since the last four months. Don’t you remember? Kang Hee?” Chanyeol said. Yixing pondered for a while before slowly nodding.

“Ahh! The girl with brown hair, right?” He asked for confirmation. The others sighed as they nodded. “Ah, now I remember. That girl was so cute!” Yixing giggled. Kyungsoo stopped twirling as he looked at Yixing with this ‘touch-ma-girl-and-I-will-chop-your-head-and-cook-you-for-dinner-tonight’ look. Tao smiled at Kyungsoo.

“Congratulations, hyung!” He beamed. Kyungsoo ended his glare at Yixing as he turned to Tao and smiled.

“Thanks, TaoTao!” Kyungsoo said happily. Baekhyun scratched his head as he looked at Kyungsoo.

“I am… uh, happy for you?” he said, since Baekhyun wasn’t actually the person to say cheesy things. Kyungsoo smiled at him as a thank you.

“Noo! Then who would I cuddle at night?!?” Kai wailed as he immediately attached himself to the umma of Exo. All of the boys stopped talking as they watched the once confident and y Kai wailed and clung like a koala on Kyungsoo’s arm.

“Kai, stop it. Get off Kyungsoo.” Luhan said as he pulled Kai off Kyungsoo, but the tan boy shook his head as he pouted at Kyungsoo.

“Hyunggg, why do you want to betray me?!?Why do you want to leave us?” He wailed again. Kyungsoo laughed as he patted the boy’s head.

“No silly!” He said as he laughed again. “I’d still be a part of EXO, but I’ll be living with my new wife.” Kyungsoo said as his eyes turned into crescents. Then he suddenly walked to Suho. “Suho hyung, can you my best man?”

“Um… why me? Why not Kai who’s face is screaming as your best man?” Suho asked. Kyungsoo rolled his eyes.

“Because, everyone is taller than me except for you, and I refuse to look short on my wedding day so that is why I conclude that you are the perfect man to be it!” Kyungsoo said happily as he held Suho’s hands. Suho at first nodded at the logic before his brain processed everything.

“Wait, so you are implying that I am SHORT?!?!” He said in horror as he detached his hands from Kyungsoo’s and ran next to Xiumin. “Kyungsoo, how could you!??”

“Kyungsoo is right. We short people must stay together.” Xiumin said as he slung an arm over Suho. Suho was about to retort back before sinking into the truth. He made a face as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Whatever.” Suho mumbled. Everyone then congratulate Kyungsoo for his marriage, promising that they will come to the wedding.

“Hyung, does my tux look good?” Kyungsoo asked nervously. It was half an hour before the wedding started and Kyungsoo was panicking. Suho glanced over his magazine and hummed in reply. “You are no help hyung. Kai, do I look okay?” Kyungsoo asked as he turned to his favorite dongsaeng. Kai who was busy dressing up his dog also just hummed in response.

“Okay, you look fine. Monggu! Don’t move! Aish, you stupid dog.” Kai mumbled as he scolded his dog from moving too much.

Kyungsoo frowned at the sight of Kai ignoring him. Ignoring him, the one and only Do Kyungsoo that he cuddled at night when he had a nightmare. The Do Kyungsoo that ironed folded and washed his laundry. Do Kyungsoo, the one that cooks him kimchi spaghetti even when it is freaking 3 in the morning. That ungrateful little bi-

“Kyungsoo! Sorry we’re late!” Kris said as he panted. At the back of him, Kyungsoo saw the rest of the M family, Xiumin and his tie undone, Luhan and Yixing with his cuffs ed, Chen still fixing his bowtie and Tao was still in the process of wearing the jacket.

“No guys, it’s alright.” Kyungsoo immediately forgot about Kai as his attention his friends. Sehun came over grumbling about Chanyeol dropping a tart on his shirt and Baekhyun tripping him.

“So, where is Kang Hee noona? I cannot wait to meet my sister-in-law!” Tao said excitedly. Chanyeol suddenly popped out and patted Tao’s shoulders.

“Relax, the girl is probably wailing about makeup right now. Or probably bawling that she was nervous or the wedding dress is too tight on her.” Chanyeol said as he shrugged.

Wrong.

Song Kang Hee isn’t wailing about her makeup, neither she was nervous or bawling because the dress was too tight.

Song Kang Hee is busy stuffing with desserts.

Yes, stuffing with an assortment of desserts, such as tarts, brownies, jellies etc. Her friends in the room just let her be, because they do not want to get in between Kang Hee and her food. Oh no, her friends are smart enough not to do it. The last time they did, they suffered bruised foreheads and their arms are filled with scratch marks.

The woman takes food seriously.

Kang Hee burped as she finished eating the last tart on the cart. She wiped with a tissue as she turned back to her friends.

“You know what; I wonder how you never get fat after eating all those, Kang Hee.” One of her friends, Ha Ji, groaned. Kang Hee grinned as she patted her stomach.

“That is why this stomach is my one true love.” She said happily. Another of her friends, Lee Kyung Seo, wrinkled her nose.

“But isn’t Kyungsoo hyung your one true love?” She asked. Kang Hee rolled her eyes.

“Okay, after Soo oppa. And seriously, Kyung, you need to start calling people ‘oppa’ instead of hyung. It’s not like you are a guy.” Kyung Seo shrugged her shoulders. She doesn’t know what is the problem of calling people ‘hyung’ instead of the disgusting ‘oppa’.

“That is because she is the ultimate tomboy. I don’t know why we are even friends with her.” Another friend, Hyung Saen Bom said as she placed her hands on Kang Hee’s shoulders. Kyung Seo frowned as she threw a pillow at her.

“Anyways, what does it feel to marry Do Kyungsoo of EXO?” Ha Ji asked her. Kang Hee laughed.

“It feels normal.”

“I pity him,” Saen Bom said. Everyone looked at her.

“Why?”

“Then he would have to treat her to soooo much food.” She said as she rolled her eyes. Kang Hee smiled broadly.

“Soo oppa knows how to cook. I bet he would cook delicious things for me.” She said. Kyung Seo rolled her eyes.

“Yeah. Like, 10 meals a day.” She said as she snickered. Kang Hee frowned as she grabbed for the nearest object available, which is a tube of lipstick.

“You .”

3 years later…

“Honey! Let’s goo!” Kang Hee called for her husband. Kyungsoo hurriedly wore a jacket as he grabbed his keys and wallet. “Oh no need, honey. I am driving.” Kang Hee said cheerfully as she waved a pair of keys in her hands. Kyungsoo felt unsure.

The last time her wife drives, it ended her in the hospital and a broken arm. Apparently that clumsy woman ran into a lamp post so she wouldn’t hit a deer that was crossing the road.

Very funny. She even laughed about it and cooed to her husband how cute the deer looked.

It was one of those times that made Do Kyungsoo rethink why he married Kang Hee.

The woman is a weirdo. She likes odd things such as stare at the ceiling for a very long time, and sometimes takes Polaroid pictures at the wrong time.

Example, when Kyungsoo accidently slipped when he was cooking, click went the camera, and now he has to suffer of seeing a very funny looking Kyungsoo, face disoriented as his hands flailing in the bedroom. Kang Hee likes to stick her Polaroid ‘masterpieces’ she called them onto their bedroom wall and practically all over their apartment.

She said it looked unique.

Unique as in when the EXO boys come to visit and laugh at the funny positions of Kyungsoo. Kang Hee reassured him that he looked cute.

Cute my foot.

Another example is that the woman is absolutely forgetful.  I know, why would being forgetful weird, am I right? Well her level of forgetfulness is beyond amazing. She forgets everything after three seconds, exactly like a gold fish would. Once she would put her phone in her pocket, and then scream to her husband where the heck did she put it and then five minutes later apologizing and grinning to him while saying that it was in her pocket the whole time.

Another one is her cooking skills. It is weird because she can’t cook anything. Not even fry an egg. Not even boil some water without spilling it everywhere, as in on the toaster, the rice cooker, the blender and any other cooking appliances in the kitchen, thus making sparks go everywhere, and hence making a complete mess of Kyungsoo’s domain. Yes, Kyungsoo’s domain as in the kitchen.

Kyungsoo’s face paled as he strapped on his seat belt quickly as grabbed onto the arm rest. Kang Hee laughed at her husband’s reaction.

“Relax, honey. It’s not like we’re going to die if I drive.” She chuckled as she the engine.

“WE’RE GONNA DIEEEEEEE!!!!” Kyungsoo shrieked as he gripped on his wife’s arms. Kang Hee ignored her husband’s wail as she grinned. She put even more speed in her drive, making it to an impossible 250 mph, which is very very, absolutely and horrifyingly against the law. The little car speed off on the empty highway (thank god). Kyungsoo swore the whole South Korea heard his screams. Even to China and Japan.

“KANG HEE SWEETIE SLOW DOWN!” Kyungsoo shrieked to his wife. Kang Hee glanced at him for a second before her attention was back on the road.

“What is that honey? I can’t hear you over the noise of the roaring engine!” She said back at him.

“WE’RE GONNA DIE IF YOU DRIVEEEE! NO NO, SLOW DOWNNN!!!” Kyungsoo shrieked again when Kang Hee made no attempt to press the brake when she turned into a corner. Kyungsoo felt his heart at his feat when they survived that curve. The supermarket was at his view, and so was other cars. Kang Hee grumbled about something as she weaseled through the cars, slowing her speed down, but it was still fast. At last, she parked the small car perfectly between two other cars. Kyungsoo quickly unbuckled his seat belt as he bolted out to the land.

“LAND!!” He cried, attracting attention to a few people, but they dismissed it since they saw it was Kyungsoo and his wife.

Yes, the whole country knows that the woman is a bit on the ‘unique’ side, so when both of them make a scene, it wasn’t that weird.

Kyungsoo fell on his knees as he hugged the cold pavement. Kang Hee smiled as she locked the car.

“Honey, let’s go shopping!” Kang Hee chirped happily, completely oblivious that her husband is traumatized by her driving. When she felt that her husband isn’t following her, she whipped her hair back and saw Kyungsoo was still shaking as he used a lamp post to stable himself. “Kyungsoo!” She called to him.

“I’ll be there in a minute, honey!” Kyungsoo weakly responded. He shook his head as he tried to stable his jiggling feet. He quickly walked, no, accurately wobbled to his wife, knowing that she has a terrible temper.

“Let’s go!” She sang happily as she laced her arms with Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo just managed to weakly smile. When they got in the super market, the security guard greeted them warmly, smiling in the process. They smiled back as Kyungsoo took a trolley and juts followed his wife.

Note to readers: When the wife says ‘shopping’ and drives Kyungsoo to a super market, she means shopping for her junk food.

Kang Hee immediately walked towards the ‘snacks’ section. Her eyes gleamed at the sight of the glorious ‘heaven’ that lay in front of her. She walked slowly through the aisle, picking random chips and chocolates and throwing them inside Kyungsoo’s trolley. By the time they reached the end of the aisle, the trolley was already full, snacks piled against another until they made a mini Mount Everest inside the cart, leaving poor Kyungsoo to push the heavy cart.

Kang Hee happily skips to the cashier, letting her poor husband push the heavy cart towards the counter. The cashier then scanned all the items.

“That would be 50, 000 won.” The cashier man said politely, eyeing the jumpy and ecstatic wife and the tired, panting and exhausted husband. Kyungsoo sighed as he reached for his wallet and took out his credit card.

That trusty credit card. The credit card that saved his life numerous of times.

Like the time that he took out Kang Hee for dinner at this fancy 5 star restaurant, she manage to rank up a bill worth of 600 dollars. And that time that Kyungsoo and Kang Hee went to their honeymoon at France. Sure, One Direction HAD to make a concert at that time there, and he finally forked out 500 dollars to buy a backstage ticket for him and his wife so that Kang Hee can fan girl over Harry Styles and his ‘glorious curly hair’ that makes her swoon.

And that one time when she insists on going bungee jumping on their trip to New Zealand and the rope snapped off the hook and it sent her falling into the ocean. The woman had been seriously injured, but she laughed about it when Kyungsoo nearly cried when she had to undergo a surgery for her ribs that was cracked (since she fell right into the ocean and landed not-so-softly on a giant rock) and the chance of survival is just 50-50. Kyungsoo racked up 1,200 dollars for that surgery, and thank god the crazy woman survived, and she acted like nothing happened and insisted Kyungsoo on riding go-karts.

“Kyungsooo~ Honey?” Kang Hee waved her hand in front of Kyungsoo so she could get his attention back to her. Kyungsoo snapped out of his daze as he dragged all the shopping bags and loaded it into the trunk.

“I’m driving again~” Kang Hee sang.

“No! I’ll drive, okay honey?” Kyungsoo said gently to his wife. Kang Hee huffed as she stomped her foot.

“No! I’ll drive!” She said stubbornly as she crossed her arms on her chest. Kyungsoo sighed, knowing that if she made her mind, there is no force in the universe that could change it.

Except for food, but Kyungsoo didn’t think of that before.

“Relax honey.” Kang Hee assured her shaking husband on the passenger seat. “I promise I would drive carefully, okay?” She gave him her famous eye smile, and Kyungsoo immediately nodded his head (heh, what a er for smiles).

“YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD DRIVE CAREFULLY!!!!” Kyungsoo shrieked as he bounced on the passenger seat even though he was wearing a seat belt. Kang Hee beside him laughed rather sadistically.

“I said carefully, not slowly! Oh, hang on tight honey! There’s a turtle at the front.” She said as she laughed again.

A turtle in the middle of a highway? Kyungsoo thought she was just spraying fibs on him, but when he craned his neck to see it clearly, there was a turtle in the middle of the road.

“KYAAAAA!!!” Kyungsoo shrieked (rather vocal disapprovingly) when Kang Hee swerved the car to the left, avoiding the turtle (stupid cold blooded hard shelled creatures) and almost colliding with a truck before turning the steering wheel with one hand to change back into the proper lane.

Kyungsoo sank in the seat as he swore his heart just died.

“Honey, I made dinner!” Kyungsoo called out for his beloved Kang Hee. Kang Hee snapped a picture with her Polaroid camera and waited for the picture to come out. When it did, she looked at it and grinned. “What? Lemme see.” Kyungsoo said. Kang Hee turned the picture around and showed Kyungsoo at what angle did she took.

There, Kyungsoo saw himself bending over to put the steaming hot pot of kimchi stew on the table, a derp smile plastered on his face with his eyes and mouth closed. Kyungsoo took one look at the picture and sighed.

“Where do you wanna put this one now?” He asked as he eyed the whole apartment. Full. She frowned for a while. She certainly wants to hang the picture in the apartment. It was cutest picture of Kyungsoo ever (after the picture that she took when Kyungsoo was busy doing his business in the toilet), and it was such a waste to throw it.

“Honey, get a ladder.” She instructed. Kyungsoo, being a nice husband (honestly Kyungsoo, do you bottom even when you are paired with a girl? Aish…) he is, took out  a ladder.  “See, stick this picture to the ceiling. Then our visitors can see it too!”

Visitors as in the EXO boys.

See it as in laugh their freaking asses off.

But still, Kyungsoo loves his wife and just went on with it. After he was done sticking the embarrassing picture, he and Kang Hee had dinner.

More like Kang Hee eating the whole pot of kimchi stew and Kyungsoo just munching on a sandwich. Yes, Do Kang Hee is as hungry as that. But Kang Hee was still hungry. Very hungry.

“Honey, I’m still hungry…” She whined to her husband. Kyungsoo looked at her with his ‘you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me-right’ look, but from the looks of it, Kang Hee was still hungry. Famished, if that is even possible.

“Then go eat your snacks, darling.” Kyungsoo said as he continued munching on his sandwich. Kang Hee frowned. No, she doesn’t want snacks. She’ll save it for later. Right now that sandwich on Kyungsoo’s hands looks soooo delicious. Kyungsoo, noticing his wife’s stare, just sighed as he gave her his half eaten sandwich.

Seriously, Do Kyungsoo is really having second thoughts about marrying her.

What was he attracted to her in first place?

Oh right, he loves her. That is why Kyungsoo could manage her behavior. He nodded repeatedly over and over again, he loves her.

Yes, after all that trouble, Kyungsoo still loves his crazy, weird, likes to eat, who doesn’t know how to cook wife.

It was amazing really. 

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I pity Kyungsoo. 

See? Really, no plot at all xD

I hope it entertained you guys LOL