“Luhan ge-“

“Don’t call me that.” His words stung the younger one, the hate radiating from his glare made the latter uncomfortable. But Sehun smiled, Sehun brushed it off.

Sehun was used to it by now, at least that’s what it looked like.

“I’m sorry, Your Highness.” Gege

Luhan was sitting legs criss-crossed under a table with his chin resting on the palm of his hand.

“And what have you come here for, Oh Sehun?”

Sehun smiled, completely ignoring the tone the older just used on him.

“ His Majesty called for you.”

Luhan diverted his gaze towards the younger one and gave him another lifeless glare. He stood up, brushing his robe in the process.  On his way towards the wooden door that had already been opened by the palace guards, he purposely bumped into the younger’s shoulder harshly.

It hurt, it did. Alot. But all that Sehun could do was smile.

All that Sehun could do was remember the good old times,

The good old times when it was Luhan who intiniated on being called gege.

It was 10 years ago when they first met. Sehun was still a young boy of age 8, while Luhan was a growing teenager of age 12. It was on a cold winter just like today when they first met. Luhan was anxiously waiting for his father- the current emperor of China for his return from his long journey across countries. It was on a dark night like this, when Luhan was first introduced to Sehun.

Luhan’s father’s hands laid on Sehun’s thin shoulders, he bent down so he was eye level with the child. He smiled and looked proudly at his son.

“Luhan, meet Sehun. Sehun, meet my son Luhan.”

Sehun looked at the older one, he was in fear. In fear because a man had brought his homeless self with him across the ocean, scared because he couldn’t understand a single word the people around him were saying. But all those fears disappeard when Luhan smiled at him, the older one reached his hand to grab the younger one’s and proceeded to shake them together; marking the new start of a friendship.

And the ice wrapping Sehun’s heart seemed to have melted right at that instant.

“Don’t you think he looks like you, Luhan?” His father patted Sehun’s shoulder once again.

Luhan nodded and bent down so he could see the latter’s face more clearly. His eyes slightly widened, amused and he let out a chuckle.

“He does father, where is he from?”

“From a land far away, the land of Korea.”

Luhan tilted his head confused, “Isn’t that a very far place, father? What about his parents?”

“He doesn’t have any.”

And with that his father left the two children on their own. Sehun awkwardy looked around, feeling uneasy about his surroundings. Luhan, as if he could read what was on his mind took Sehun’s hands and rubbed it with his.

“Call me Gege.”

Sehun tilted his head, not understanding what Luhan was saying.

“Gege.” Luhan repeated once again, trying to make the younger one understand what he was trying to imply. And it seemed to have worked as Sehun opened his mouth and uttered a word he didn’t know, but had a feeling knowing what it meant.

“G-gege.”

Luhan smiled and ruffled his hair, and for the first time since he arrived, Sehun smiled.

Days, weeks, months, years passed by. The two kept getting closer to each other to the point where they were inseparable. When it was cold and Sehun was shivering while gritting hit teeth, Luhan was the one who snuck out from his room to give him a warm and thick blanket. When the thunders were singing on an empty grey sky and Luhan was hiding under his thick covers, Sehun was the one who held his hand and sang him lullabies to calm him down. When Sehun fell and scraped his knee, it was Luhan who went ballistic and called the palace’s physician to cure him when all he actually needed was a small bandage. When Luhan wanted to run away from his studies, Sehun is where he would go.

If it was your first time meeting them, you’d never think that the relationship they shared was one between a servant and a master, but you’d think that they were friends, bestfriends, brothers even.

Sehun sighed as he heard his gege’s footsteps fade away to the point where he couldn’t hear them anymore. He closed his eyes and bit his lip, restraining himself from letting all the tears threatening to fall down his cheeks. They used to be so closed, so happy, so joyous, so blessed with each other. And now Luhan hated him, and Sehun thinks that he deserved being hated by Luhan.

Because after all, he stole his position.

Sehun clenched his heart and let one tear drop fall, only one.  He smiled and let one bitter inaudible chuckle out.

But don’t worry gege, everything will be back to how they used to be.

Everything.

Luhan entered his father’s chamber, the wise man was fully concentrated in writing calligraphy while holding  a brush on his right hand. Luhan walked until he was in front of his father and proceeded to sit down. The guards bowed before exiting the room, leaving Luhan and his father alone in the room.  The emperor put down his brush and put his work of art aside so he could rest his hands on the small table instead.

“I heard you called for me, father.” Luhan said in a monotone.

His father looked up and smiled at his one and only son,  “I did, son.”

“Son, me?” Luhan scoffed, “Are you sure you’re not calling the wrong person your ‘son’?”

His father let out a long sigh while shaking his head slowly, he looked up and locked eyes with his son. “Treat him well Luhan, treat Sehun well. You two have changed, you have changed.”

Luhan frowned and looked away, “Sehun? Sehun this Sehun that. Father I am your son, are you choosing him over me? Do you prefer him over me now? It should be me sitting among the nobles and our cousins, it should be me they recognize as their prince and not Sehun!”

Yes, Luhan was hiding under the shadows. Luhan is now 22 while Sehun is 18. On his 20th birthday where Luhan’s face should’ve been recognized by his people and the rest of the country, it was Sehun who stood up and greeted all the nobles, it was Sehun who they recognized as their future leader. When Sehun was celebrating Luhan’s 20th birthday in his place, Luhan was locked up in his dark room all alone.

Rage. Anger. Hate.

But more than that he felt betrayed.

He trusted Sehun, he trusted him with his life. And Sehun agreed  on pretending to be him, stealing the spotlight that wasn’t meant to be his but Luhan’s instead. Luhan hated that, he hated it from the bottom of his heart.

Since that Luhan stopped treating the younger one like he used to. He was the one who told Sehun to stop calling him gege, he was the one who stopped smiling at the younger one, he was the one who stopped ignoring status and treated Sehun like what he was- a mere servant.

Luhan stopped sneaking out to find Sehun, he stopped giving him an extra blanket on cold and windy days, he stopped stealing a loaf of bread from the kitchen and giving it to Sehun since he thought a bowl of rice wasn’t enough for his growth, he stopped ruffling the younger’s hair when Sehun did something silly that he found amusing.

Sehun kept sneaking out to find Luhan, he kept sneaking into his room to hold the older’s hand when it was raining heavily and the skies were at war, he kept telling the butlers that he was the one who influenced Luhan to sneak out when it actually wasn’t and received the beatings in his place, he kept his promises, and he kept calling him gege even though the older one told him to stop.

“Just treat him well, Luhan.” After hearing those words Luhan became even more furious and stood up, leaving the room and closing the doors with a loud bang.

Luhan came back to his room, exhausted and stressed from his previous discussion. He was glad that when he came back, Sehun was not there anymore. He plopped himself on the bed, burrying his face in his pillow and letting out groans and grunts of frustration out. He turned his body around and looked at the ceiling, he stared at it until eventually his eyes gave up and fell in a deep slumber. Muttering “I hate you Sehun” before drifting off to dreamland.

That night it rained again, and thunder was striking. The door to Luhan’s room creaked open and a figure appeared. Sehun silently tiptoed towards Luhan and sat beside him. He put his hand under the covers and when he found the older’s hand, he began to carress Luhan’s knuckles with his thumb. Luhan muttered out incoherent words in his sleep, Sehun smiled and began humming a song Luhan used to sing to him when they were younger and soon the frown on the older’s face was gone and Luhan was sleeping peacefully once again.

“Hmmm~” Sehun kept humming while his eyes layed on the man beside him. Luhan looked so peaceful in his sleep, he looked like he was having a great time. And during those past two years since Luhan began to ignore him, up to now the only thing that had remained the same since ten years ago was his sleeping face.

“Hmph..” Sehun choked out a sob and tried to muffle it with his hand. One, two, three. Tears kept falling one by one, and soon Sehun was crying, pouring all his feelings out. He turned his head around and mentally sighed when he noticed the older one was still sleeping.

He leaned closer and gently patted the elder’s hair. For five seconds he was in that position, close enough he was able to hear Luhan’s heartbeat and his steady breathing.  For five seconds he let himself remember the sound of Luhan’s heartbeat. Those five seconds were soon over, he gave one last tight squeeze on Luhan’s hand and stood up, silently leaving quietly just like how he came.  Before closing the door, Sehun let himself have a last peek at the older one. A small smile appeard on his face, and with his thin lips he whispered out “Goodnight gege.”

It was before the sun would rise that Luhan woke up from all the disturbing noises.

“CATCH HIM.”

“HE RAN THAT WAY.”

Luhan rubbed his temples and walked out towards the door. When he opened them, he was surprised to see the palace guards running here and there. He grabbed one of the guards passing by and asked him, “What’s all this ruckus so early in the morning about?”

The guard was surprised, he bowed to Luhan and saluted showing his full respect. “An assassin is on the run and we a-“

“WE CAUGHT HIM!” A guard shouted from outside. The guard talking to Luhan flinched and ran towards the source of the voice like every guard around him was doing. Luhan was curious and brought up the courage to see the so called ‘assassin on the run’. He went back to his room, taking a thick cloth to cover his body and wore his shoes.  

As Luhan walked over towards the crowd of guards gathered around the so called assassin, he couldn’t help but feel nervous as thoughts filled his mind.

An assassin in the palace?

To kill one of the royalties? Father? Mother? Me?

His heart was beating at an incredible speed, he clung harder onto his coat and stepped forward. The assassin, face covered in a black mask shrieked in horror as he saw Luhan standing in front of him. Luhan raised an eyebrow and stared at the man in black in front on him wondering why the man was terrified by him as if Luhan was a walking dead.

The man shook and screamed in horror, although he couldn’t move much because the guards were holding both of his arms and legs. The man shook his head and uttered,

“A-a-ren’t you s-s-supposed to be d-d-dead?!” he said as his lips trembled in fear.

Luhan was confused, he scrunched his nose and frowned, “What do you mean?”
“I-I I stabbed you, right there in your stomach!” Luhan looked down and grew even more confused because his stomach was perfectly fine, “Y-you’re supposed to be dead I stabbed you myself in your room after I follo-“

Me? But that’s impossible since I’m here unless-

Luhan gulped.

There was only one person anyone could ever mistake as him.

“YOUR HIGHNESS WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” A guard shouted as Luhan ran.

Luhan ran into the palace, cold sweat covering the bare skin on his neck. He had a bad feeling, a really bad feeling. He ran like he had neven run before, he ran and ran and ran.

And he stopped.

In front of Sehun’s room. There was not a speck of light and he couldn’t hear the tiniest sound coming from the room.

Maybe Sehun is asleep. Luhan nodded and tried to calm himself down. He took a step forward, and with shaky hands he slid the door open. Luhan took one step towards the sitting figure in front of him, and another one and another one. A smile came on his face as he saw the calm face of the younger one under the moonlight.

Sehun was fine, he thought.

He bent over towards the younger one and shook him gently, “Sehun-ah” he quietly whispered. Sehun wouldn’t bulge, Luhan shook him even harder.

“Sehun-ah, wake up.”

“Sehun it’s not funny.”

“Wake up.”

“DAMN IT WAKE UP SEHUN.” He shook Sehun so harshly the latter’s body fell against him, Sehun’s head resting on Luhan’s shoulder and Luhan could smell the familiar scent of the younger, lilies. He held onto Sehun tightly, ignoring the puddle of blood forming under him.  Luhan gasped as he heard the younger one grunt and pulled Sehun from his grip to cup his face.

Sehun slowly opened his eyes, his eyes filled with tears.

They weren’t tears of sadness or pain though, they were tears of happiness. He was happy he could see his gege one last time. Luhan brushed away Sehun’s tears with his bloody thumb and soon, his own eyes were filled with tears. Sehun took a deep and sharp breath, then breathed out a short and shaky one. He moved his hand until he found Luhan and grasped it tightly- tight to him anyway. To Luhan it was nothing compared to how tight Sehun used to hold his hand when they were younger, but to Sehun it was the best he could do at that moment.

“Ge-gege.” Sehun whispered out.

Luhan shook his head and held the withering flower tighter than he could, if it was even possible. “No. Don’t speak. The physician is coming soon don’t say anything, it will just drain your energy-“

“Gege.” Sehun said once again, smiling. Luhan shook his head, tears dripping down his face and hitting Sehun’s cheek.

“G-geg-“

“DON’T SAY A WORD DAMN IT!” Luhan screamed. He was scared, he was terrified, he wasn’t used to seeing the energertic and strong person he knew for ten years look so weak.

Sehun held Luhan’s hand tighter and smiled at the older one who was weeping like a child. With his other hand, Sehun rummaged through his clothes and took out an envelope. Hands trembling, he pushed the letter towards Luhan. Luhan looked down and took the letter from him, he looked up again and locked eyes with Sehun.

“T-that is for y-you.” He whispered out, his voice barely audible. Sehun took in another shaky breath and moved his head so he could be more comfortable on Luhan’s shoulder. “G-gege?”

“W-what?” Luhan sobbed out, his voice coming out as shaky as Sehun’s.

“N-no, nothing. I j-just wanted to call y-you.” Sehun chuckled.

“How can you laugh in this kind of situation, idiot?”

Sehun chuckled once again and closed his eyes, his breathing getting shorter.

“G-gege.”

“Hmm?”

“Gege.”

“What?” Luhan whispered out as he carressed the younger’s hair.

Sehun opened his mouth, about to say something but then closed them again as a tear fell down from his eyes. The not-so-tight grip on Luhan’s hand completely disappeard and Luhan couldn’t hear Sehun’s short breathing anymore.

What Sehun was about to say that time remains unknown, forever.

The sun rose and the mess had been cleaned up, along with Sehun’s corpse. Luhan sat in front of his father, his father not daring to look at his son in the eyes.

“W-why?” Luhan asked.

Luhan’s father let out a sigh, and looked up to finally meet his son’s red eyes.

“It was a couple of days before you turned twenty,” he gulped, “that we received a letter threatening to kill you... The sender was anonymous and although we tried our best to find out the culprit he left not even the slightest evidence.”

Luhan listened to every words as if they entered from his left ear and escaped from the right.

“Sehun was there, he overheard our discussion and barged into the room suggesting us his delirious idea. But I was scared to lose you more than anything,son, and so I agreed.”

“T-then replacing me and keeping me in the shadows all this time was to keep me safe? He took my place s-so the killer would think that h-he’s me?”

Luhan’s father closed his eyes and nodded, “He was a good boy, a gentle one with a very kind heart.” Maybe at some point, the emperor had thought of Sehun as his own son.

Luhan stood up and walked lifelessly back towards his room. He plopped himself down in front of the table and rested his head on it. He put his hands in the pocket of his coat and found a piece of paper. It was an envelope to be exact, and it was the last thing he received from Sehun.

Not minding the bloody envelope, Luhan opened it gently, scared to rip the envelope and its content. He took the letter out and took a deep breath before opening the folded paper and began to read it.

Dear Luhan gege,

You might be wondering why I sent you a letter when I can’t even write. I begged butler Lee to write me a letter and this one I copied it on my own, so I’m sorry if my writing is messy because I’ve never learned to read and write.

Luhan chuckled, he could imagine Sehun using his cute tacticts to get butler Lee to do what he wanted.

So where do I start?

Gege, I want to thank you for everything. Back when I was lost and alone, God somehow brought you into my life and to say I haven’t missed thanking the skies everyday because of you would be exaggerating, but it’s true. It didn’t matter to me if I couldn’t remember the faces of my parents, if I couldn’t go back to my homecountry or if I was bullied because I was different because I had you. You are like my light in the dark, the backbone of my life. And I won’t stop thanking the skies for having you in my life, even now.

Gege, I want to apologize for hurting your feelings these past two years. You must have been angry because I somehow became you and you somehow became me. And I didn’t mind when you hated me back then, because I understood.  So don’t hate yourself for that, because I never hated you for doing that.

Gege, don’t forget to blow off the candle before going to sleep. Don’t leave out the carrots when you eat, because they’re good for you. Don’t sneak out during lessons anymore, the teachers have a hard time running around the palace searching for you. And gege, don’t be scared of thunders. Although I may not be beside you physically, I’m always there for you so don’t be scared because you’re never alone.

Luhan wiped his tears, his eyes already swollen even before he would finish reading the letter. Luhan looked down on the last parts of the letter and he didn’t have the heart to read it. His heart clenched, the writing was messy as if Sehun’s hands were trembling while he was writing it, and he could see that some of the words were smeared as if Sehun’s tears have accidentally fallen on the paper when the latter was writing.

Gege, when you read this I’m probably not under the same sky as you anymore. But I’m above it, watching and protecting you for always. Can I ask a favor from you? Although I was just a mere servant.... can I ask you to remember me? Because I don’t know who else will if it’s not you. Don’t forget me, okay gege?

There is one last thing I need to tell you before I finish writing my first and last letter.

Luhan took in a deep breath as he wiped his tears with the back of his hands.

In the next life, I hope I can be born as your brother. So I’ll wait for you, gege.

Your brother,

Sehun.

It was on a cold night like this Luhan met Sehun, and it was on a cold night like this Sehun left Luhan. It’s been three years already, but it was as if time had stopped for Luhan.

Luhan walked out of the inn and proceeded to walk towards his carriage. He heard a faint sob and turned his head towards the source of the voice and found a little boy crouching and leaning against the inn’s wall.

Luhan got on his knees and rested his chin on his knees.

“Why are you crying?”

The little boy looked up, and Luhan felt a rush of reminiscence.

“I-I’m hungry... and cold.” The little boy said as he wiped his tears with his arm.

“What’s your name?”

The little boy shook his head, meaning to tell him that he didn’t have one.

Luhan offered his hand, the little boy looked up and took it without thinking twice. Luhan stood up and helped the boy get on his feet.

“Why did you take my hand that easily?” Luhan asked.

The boy looked up and Luhan caught a familiar glint in his eyes.

“Because I trust you.”

“I think I found a name for you.”

The boy looked up, “Hm?”

“Shixun.”

Sehun

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a/n: this is the longest piece i've ever written otl o u o

sorry if it was confusing? i dont know if i was able to write things out as i meant it

thankyou for reading and subscribing<3

edited. i saw some typos >< and for those who didn't know Shixun is Sehun's chinese name :)