Kyuhyun didn’t quit the book lovers’ club but he had attended anything lesser and lesser but no one minded, everyone just wished Kyuhyun would speak to somebody, anybody. Kyuhyun had become more cynical at times and had almost been called off to detention for it.

“I’m continuing my studies in Canada,” Kyuhyun said over fries and burger with Donghae. Donghae almost choke on a fry and needed to be tapped on the back for the fry to pass through the right tube.

“Kyuhyun, you can’t be that hurt,” exclaimed Donghae.

“Of course not,” answered Kyuhyun immediately and with eyes wide with apprehension. “My family’s migrating there, dad got offered a much stable job, we’ve got relatives there too.”

“So you’ll never come back?” Donghae asked, saddened by the news that he won’t be seeing his best friend again if not for a long, long time. Kyuhyun shrugs. “Maybe I’ll visit soon, just don’t know.”

“You’re really hurt,” mumbled Donghae.

“I am not,” countered Kyuhyun. But he knew it too, it was a lie. He was most definitely hurt but his pride won’t allow him.

*~*~*

Years have passed, ten years to be exact. Kyuhyun is now a chief editor for a prestigious publishing company. He hated doing field jobs, he hated waking up even in the wee hours of the night for a job and he just wants to sit around most of the day even if it would bring about stress. He liked bossing around others as well, mocking them on their faults and showing off that he was appointed to be in his position because of talent and hard work.

Despite how Kyuhyun tells himself to be away from reading and books in general, he had liked the act. He liked losing himself in a different world and how the words make everything almost come to life. Despite how he’d sometimes think of Siwon, he can’t cross out reading from his hobby.

“Mom, I’m spending Christmas in Seoul, if that’s okay,” Kyuhyun says over the phone. It was already ten in the evening but he has to keep track on an author who is half way through her manuscript with the deadline just a day ahead. “I’ll be staying over at Donghae’s if not, I can just stay at a hotel,” he says as he saunters towards the small kitchen looking for the coffee pot.

“Alright, but be careful,” his mother said, the phone was then put in speakers. He was pouring himself some coffee.

“Yes I will.”

“And son,”

“Yes ma,” he said with a sigh, he knows where this was going.

“Relax okay, you’ll grow old fast with overworking yourself.”

“I know ma.” Kyuhyun was getting tired with this kind of talk.

“That’s why I’m letting you go even if your father and I wanted to spend Christmas with you.”

“Ma,” Kyuhyun exasperated and takes a sip of his coffee, he makes a face. He forgets to put in sugar and starts to tear a packet. “You and dad got Joonmyun.” Joonmyun was Kyuhyun’s high school younger brother.

“We want both our sons home for Christmas,” nagged his mother.

Kyuhyun takes another sip of his coffee and when he was satisfied with the taste, he switches the phone call from speakers. “I’ll come during New Year’s, okay?” and after a few more exchanges Kyuhyun finishes with an “I love you too mom, bye.”

Kyuhyun flops onto a setti as he sets down his mug at the coffee table. His eyes strayed upon a book and after a brief moment he unlocked his phone and started typing. He wasn’t particularly a fan of the author but he liked the manuscript. It was this side of him that made Kyuhyun a top editor. Okay for printing was what he texted before he chugs down the rest of the contents of his mug.

It was a book that would sell, it was a book that people would love, personal happiness, that’s not going to sell anything unless you are as mainstream as everybody else is, Kyuhyun would sometimes think but whenever he sees one of those serious novels he’d publish get into the top list, he’ll think the world still holds sensible people after all.

*~*~*

A week later, Kyuhyun had stepped foot on Incheon airport after ten years and the first thing he encountered was a bear hugged from his bawling best friend. “Never changed,” Kyuhyun mutters with a smirk as he pats Donghae’s back.

After dropping off Kyuhyun’s things at Donghae’s condo unit, Donghae started pulling and dragging Kyuhyun from one place to another, making him meet people, reuniting him with others.

“Donghae,” Kyuhyun exclaimed as he pulled his hand off Donghae’s grip. “No,” he says sternly.

“Come one, Kyu, this would be the last one then we can head back home.”

“I said no. I’m really tired.”

“Kyuhyun when was the last time you’ve been into a church? You should at least say a little prayer.”

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes; he hasn’t realized that Donghae had grown some stubbornness in him. He sauntered inside the great hall, with Donghae beside him. “Fine, but this would be the last one.”

Donghae smiles widely as he heads off to find a seat. Kyuhyun didn’t bother looking for one, he just slides onto the last pew and flopped down.

Pray.

Kyuhyun had actually done that a lot. He had prayed that Time would heal his first heartbreak fast, that he’d move on, that he’d find another one and just be happy with whoever it would be. And he wished he could just beat himself up at that moment. Now, with finally being able to just sit he realized that Donghae had been dragging him to some of the places that he and Siwon had been to even if they weren’t for anything too romantic. God has actually worked as hard as he did into getting over his heartbreak, into moving on although He has no new love for Kyuhyun to give. Kyuhyun fishes for his phone and starts to text Donghae – that he’ll be waiting outside.

“Kyuhyun?”

Kyuhyun’s finger froze over the keypad. Kyuhyun, now certainly hates himself, clearly, despite all his efforts he hasn’t really moved on at all. He just heard his voice, and yet he remembers it clearly when he tells himself that he shouldn’t have. It had been ten long years so it would be realistic and achievable that he’ll forget how a person’s voice would sound like especially if he hasn’t heard from this person for a decade.

Kyuhyun gulps and tries to calm himself before turning around. “Oh, Siwon, wow, you’re alive,” he says with a fake smile and he slaps himself mentally for sounding obviously sarcastic and sounding hurt. Kyuhyun stands up abruptly. “Anyway, I have to go, it was nice seeing you.” And Kyuhyun brisks away.

Kyuhyun walked faster and faster then had actually jogged off.

*~*~*

“Donghae,” Kyuhyun says over the phone, his voice was muffled as he was resting his head on his folded arms on the table. “I’m so ed up right now, I don’t know where I am.” Kyuhyun heard Donghae laughing on the other end and silently cussed a string of profanities. He was so busy escaping that he barely remembered where he was. Fortunately, he had money so he stayed at a coffee shop, and hoped that Donghae would come and fetch him.

“Okay, I know where that is, I’ll be there in fifteen,” Donghae said and had hung up.

But when fifteen minutes was up all Kyuhyun could do was breathe out a curse word.

“Mind if I sit with you,” Siwon had said, he was holding a mug of his coffee.

“Whatever,” Kyuhyun muttered.

Kyuhyun and Siwon sipped there coffee in silence. When Siwon was about to talk, Kyuhyun bolted up, scraping the chair against wood and mumbled his goodbye. “You don’t know your way,” reminded Siwon.

“I can manage, I’ll remember it somehow,” replied Kyuhyun coldly, and wraps his blue and violet checkered scarf around his neck and headed for the door. Siwon massaged the tip of his nose, that part where both his eyebrows would almost converge especially when he frowns. He sips of his coffee one last time before running after Kyuhyun.

“Kyuhyun I’m –” Siwon started breathlessly as he follows Kyuhyun, who was aimlessly walking around.

“Stop. Just stop Siwon, it was all in the past and I hate going back there.” Kyuhyun snaps. “And if you insist, you’ll have to excuse me and forgive me cause I think I might kill you,” Kyuhyun says with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. Siwon felt a cold chill travel down his spine.

“Then let me lead you back to Donghae’s condo then,” Siwon said softly.

“I can – ”

“No you can’t, and if you can you’d freeze to death before that happens.”

Kyuhyun knows that as well but despite how he hates being in the same area with Siwon he so desperately wants to lie down on a bed and be somewhere warm, so he hesitantly nods and follows Siwon. They were silent the whole time – as they walked over to the bus stop, rode the bus and stepped off the bus.

“Well, here you are,” Siwon says a bit awkwardly.

“Yeah, thanks. Goodbye,” Kyuhyun dismisses curtly. But before he could turn, Siwon had grabbed his wrist and made him accept the bag that he’d been holding. “It’s late but please, just this once,” Siwon begged.

Kyuhyun hesitated. Again, he didn’t know what to do. “You’re an editor, right? Read it even once and you can just give it to Donghae with corrections or you can just burn it, if it’s that bad.”

“How did you know I’m an editor?” Kyuhyun asked, surprised and curious.

“Donghae told me,” Siwon answered, his eyes not looking straight at Kyuhyun.

“Whatever,” Kyuhyun muttered and shook his arm free from Siwon.

As Kyuhyun enters the elevator, he takes the manuscript from the bag and his eyes grew wide, his breathing has started to increase and so did his heartbeat, he pressed on the button for Ground floor, not alighting on Donghae floor. He scanned the lobby, if he was still the same he’d be here, Kyuhyun tells himself. He walks and scans simultaneously and when he reached the leathered set of couches at the west wing he starts to walk faster. When he got a clear view of Siwon’s head he throws the manuscript earning an aching groan from Siwon, bent over while holding on to the back of his head.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Kyuhyun breathed as he fights back tears. “No, that’s not it,” and Kyuhyun tries to compose himself, “Donghae didn’t tell you where I worked now, did he? Your manuscript was sent over to our company on purpose wasn’t it? Waiting for Twilight my . Do you think I’d be moved with being able to read a book meant as an apology?”

“No, Kyu,” Siwon replied softly with a small smile. “This is me saying I’m sorry I was a jerk for doing that so you have a right to kill me as you please. And that I did as you told me, I wrote it for myself, because I wanted to write this story and the story wants to be written. So as an editor do you think it would sell?”

“Bull,” Kyuhyun muttered. Siwon sniggered and slowly bends over to take the beat up manuscript on the floor.

“Well, yeah, I didn’t entirely write it for me,” Siwon says as he brushes off dirt on the book. “For the Light that has been with me on the days that I was down and though sarcastic, all the times spent together were memorable and had been my inspiration ever since. Thank you and I’m sorry. You’re a smart person, you should know,” Siwon said as he quoted a phrase he has written as a foreword.

“Anyway, guess it’s that bad, huh? Told you I should just write what the public want,” Siwon says with a smile though he had sounded bitter. Kyuhyun rakes a hand onto his face. Kyuhyun doesn’t know what to do, he was hurt, and he didn’t want to get hurt ever, but seeing Siwon looking pained, hurt him even more. Thinking about it, ached his heart and head.

“There was a boy, he had probably just entered high school. I noticed him from the windows of the library, always sitting and with a faraway stare. Everyone wanted to be his friend but he didn’t want any. I thought he was rude and boring, he was good in nothing but academics.

… I don’t know how long, or when it had begun but I’m starting to take interest in him more than what is necessary for a curious being. He stubbornly refuses everyone but one day I found him sitting in front of the piano. I was curious so I waited and I was shocked, a very beautiful melody danced off from the black and white keys as his fingers fluidly tapped onto them…

… I did a very big mistake, I was carried away with my feelings, I kissed him when I shouldn’t. I’m sick, I can’t live long and I shouldn’t bring anyone else to feel saddened when I’m gone but I couldn’t help it. I’m happy and sad at the same time, one day, this face of his will be filled with grief and tears and I’m all to blame for that, I’m such a terrible, terrible girl. Are you ing kidding me? Of course it would sell,” Kyuhyun exclaims after taking out a few phrases from the manuscript.

“Why don’t you just say that this is an apology, because it ing is, because it worked at some point.”

“I made the story for y –” Siwon stops and glances up at Kyuhyun. “Wait, what did you – !” Siwon walks to Kyuhyun fast and tries to do something. Kyuhyun was in tears, it wasn’t flowing tears but Kyuhyun had been wiping off tears.

“I would really wish to kill you because you’re making me do things I find hard or taxing to do. I don’t want to sound cheesy and mushy but you Siwon, stop making me your muse, you think I haven’t figure it out, why can’t you be man enough and just tell it to me straight even if the apology-through-writing works.”

“Kyuhyun, I’m sorry that I hurt you,” Siwon started. “I came back as fast as I could but you’ve migrated already. I’ve thought of following you but that wouldn’t be practical so I decided to concentrate on writing and I didn’t mean it, the words just flowed out. The words I’ve wanted to tell you, show you and convey to you all these years, they keep flowing out that I had to write them with a small hope that they’d reach you. You told me once to write you a story, I’ve written about my story, I’ve written about what had been our story. But right now, I don’t want to write it and just imagine it but I want the real thing, I want for us to have a ‘happily ever after’ together.”

“A plain ‘I’m sorry for being a jerk but I love you and I’d want a second chance’ would’ve worked fine though,” Kyuhyun muttered his cheeks going a light tint of pink. Siwon chuckles. “But the lengthy confession works fine, embarrassing and tacky, but fine,” he muttered.

The clock had struck twelve, even though it was digital, the sounds similar to a grandfather clock resonated around the lobby. It was already Christmas. “So we’re back together,” Siwon asked.

“Merry Christmas,” Kyuhyun said, ignoring Siwon. “Where’s my present?”

Siwon sighs deeply and with a quick step he leans over and kissed Kyuhyun lightly on the lips. Siwon smiles broadly, it had been ten years but Kyuhyun has still shown the same reaction back then and Siwon enjoys seeing it.

“,” muttered Kyuhyun.

Siwon up an eyebrow, “I’m going to kiss you if you’re going to curse one more time.”

Kyuhyun up his own eyebrow, challenging Siwon. Siwon smirks and grabbed Kyuhyun’s hand, “My place then,” he says as he takes Kyuhyun out of the lobby and into the cold, snowy night air.

THE END.