Yifan curled around Luhan, pulling him tight against his chest.

The world was so cruel.

*

SM CONFIRMS EXO COMEBACK SCHEDULED FOR 2015

Yifan blinked. What. He called out, “Guys, can you come in here?” Jongdae, Minseok, Yixing, and Zitao walked in quietly, trying not to wake up Luhan, who had worn himself out playing soccer (although not up to the level he used to) and gone down for a nap maybe 10 minutes ago. Yifan turned to them. “Did SM contact you guys?” Confusion was evident in their eyes. Jongdae spoke first, “I-I-I haven’t been b-b-back t-t-to the company since…” Yixing jumped in, not wanting Jongdae to talk about the accident. “I go to the building sometimes to use the dance studios, but I never talk to anyone from the company.” Zitao just shrugged, but Minseok bit his lip. “I, uh, I got a message from them early this morning. It looked like lyrics? And it asked for Yixing, Zitao, and I to go to the company at 3. I – I wasn’t sure what to make of it, so I forgot about it until now. Sorry.” He sheepishly rubbed his head. Yifan blinked again, not sure what to think…

Yifan was worried.

*

“Look, Yifan, after the, ahem, incident,” that phrasing made Yifan’s blood boil, “and the subsequent disbandment of Exo, we have had a hard time doing damage control. The only thing that could truly fix this is an Exo comeback. But Exo-M has never made as big a profit as Exo-K, and what with Jongdae’s scars and stuttering, and Luhan’s, er, situation, it really wouldn’t make sense for an Exo-M comeback. So, we’ve decided to scrap the idea of subunits and bring back Exo as a whole unit. Unfortunately Lee Soo Man is already untrusting of you, after you deliberately defied us and spoke out about the accident and the proceedings afterwards.”

Yifan remembered that. It was the day after the accident, when they had gotten the news that Luhan’s condition was irreversible and SM was breaking up Exo. Yifan had been devastated, and, not knowing what to do, had taken to Instagram. The picture was simple, silver Chinese and Korean characters that stood for the number 12 against a black background. The caption, however, was what got him in trouble: “I wish we had more time. But sometimes there are people who make the choices for you. Remember Exo, remember our success, short lived as it was.” The representatives from the company had been furious, as there was a social media ban until SM released the news. That was the most Yifan had ever been yelled at, but after that there was no more punishment, so Yifan was waiting for the fatal blow.

“So, you’re out of Exo.” And there it was. Yifan spluttered, blinking rapidly. “Of course, so are Jongdae and Luhan. That means that your, and Luhan’s, visa has been revoked, as you are no longer employed. You have two weeks to go back to China.”

Yifan couldn’t breathe. His life was crumbling down around him.

*

Luhan didn’t understand why all of his stuff had to be packed away. It was really annoying, actually. What if he wanted his 80 piece farm animal puzzle tomorrow? XingXing had packed it away. But XingXing had been crying while packing the puzzle, so Luhan wasn’t sure if he was supposed to bring it up.

*

Yifan had tried to break the news as gently as possible. Of course by then Yixing, Zitao, and Minseok knew of their impending comeback sans Yifan, Luhan, and Jongdae, but Yifan wasn’t sure if they realized that meant Yifan and Luhan were going home. To China. Jongdae knew, too, that he was not ever going to be able sing on a stage and showcase his true talent to hundreds of people. Jongdae was so heartbroken that it physically pained Yifan to tell Jongdae that no, he and Luhan would not be moving into an apartment with him because they had to go back to China.

*

The last time he had been in China, it was for a concert, and he hadn’t been able to make it home. Still, it had been comforting to finally, truly be able to understand what everyone was saying. He would kill to be able to go back home and actually see his hometown, see his friends and family at least for a little bit. But Yixing would never ever ever voice this out loud, not after SM forced Luhan and Yifan back to China. He knew Zitao also felt this way, but he too would never mention anything. Nonetheless, on rainy days late at night, Yixing and Zitao would cuddle up on the couch and whisper to each other stories of their pasts, tell of missing their families,  and talk of their fears for the future.

*

Sometimes Minseok felt like he couldn’t breathe. The walls were closing in around him. Everything was falling apart around him. It had started out slowly with the accident and escalated from there. Now, now Jongdae couldn’t stop crying, indecipherable through his tears and his stutter. Now Yifan and Luhan were leaving, and he probably wouldn’t ever see them again.

Now he was breaking in to little pieces.

*

Yifan and Luhan left with little fanfare. Most of their stuff had already been shipped home, and Luhan still didn’t understand what was going on, so Yifan didn’t want to upset him with some big sobfest. The (former) Exo-M members had all been allowed one hug. The Exo-K members, however, had to watch with teary eyes from afar, as Luhan was still wary of them.

When they arrived in China, Yifan immediately rushed Luhan out of the airport and into a waiting cab. Luhan sniffled and cuddled up against Yifan, still afraid of airports and large crowds in general. Luhan’s parents had given consent to let him stay with Yifan in an apartment close to their own home, as long as Yifan remained Luhan’s primary caretaker. They were worried about upsetting Luhan after having been under the supervision of Yifan for so long. Yifan was just happy he could stay with Luhan.

*

There was, in fact, a second bed in the apartment. It was in Luhan’s room, but it wasn’t really Luhan’s bed, because he had not slept a single night in it. No, Luhan preferred to sleep in Yifan’s bed, liking the warmth and protection Yifan’s tall frame provided when wrapped around Luhan. Luhan had not adapted well to the new environment. Sure, it was much easier to be in a place where Mandarin dripped off everyone’s tongues, but Luhan had not been there for many years. The façade of the whole town was drastically changed from the rudimentary memory he had of the place, and it was unsettling for Luhan. So he found comfort in Yifan’s arms, enjoying the occasional kisses pressed to the crown of his head.

*

Attraction can only be suppressed for so long. Yifan was almost positive that it had been there, simmering low in his stomach, from the very beginning. But, because of Yifan’s luck, it hadn’t manifested until Luhan was unable to return his feelings. Every time he looked at Luhan it was like a blow to his chest, and cuddles and kisses could only hold off the ache for so long.

Luhan would probably never be able to return his affections. He and Luhan would probably never be able to return to Exo. But maybe Luhan’s condition would improve, and Yifan could kiss him on the lips, and they could stand next to their brothers again.

Maybe. 

hahahaha do you hate me because i hate me

not proofread at all (lol maybe i'll wait two years to do it again) also continuity is hard after two years sorry (not really)

anyway check out the foreword if you haven't it has important info on this (lol bet you thought this story was finished (so did i)) 

see you soon maybe??? or in two years whatever