If the stress of keeping this up had been bad before, Jiyong didn’t even know how to describe how bad it was now. He was even having trouble sleeping – he wasn’t a fan of lying to people, and this was taking it to a new level. His attention in class even slipped sometimes, as much as he tried to stop it.

Now he was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, tapping his pencil agitatedly against his paper. Seunghyun was behind him on the couch, one leg on either side of Jiyong as he looked over the notes. Hyosonn was next to Seunghyun, feet curled under herself as she tried to follow along with what Seunghyun was saying.

This was starting to get dangerous. Jiyong was zoning out all the time. He knew he should put school first and not let any of this bother him, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the whole situation. Hyosonn was within reach of him as he sat – he could just reach up and grab her and run off with her. But then Seunghyun would probably kill him and Hyosonn wouldn’t be pleased to know they were lying to her, so he kept his seat, brows furrowed as he started to answer a question on his paper. He must have been fidgeting or grumbling under his breath, because he felt the telltale feeling of Seunghyun reaching down to massage his neck. He just flinched, pushing Seunghyun’s hand away.

“Ji, stop stressing. It’s just an assignment,” he purred, looking to Hyosonn. He smiled at her, reaching down once again to rub Jiyong’s neck. The second he touched him Jiyong pressed down on his paper, his pencil lead snapping before he pushed himself off the floor.

“Don’t… Don’t touch me,” he said, looking down. Seunghyun laughed – he assumed that it was some sort of joke, or that Jiyong was just overreacting. But when Jiyong met his gaze and narrowed his eyes, Seunghyun’s smile dropped. He watched Jiyong storm off toward his bedroom and he sat there in stunned silence for a moment, finally mumbling an apology to Hyosonn before rushing toward the bedroom.

“Ji? Hey, Jiyong, what’s wrong?” he asked, walking in and closing the door behind him. Jiyong was pacing back and forth, one hand running through his hair before he looked at Seunghyun.

“I don’t want to lie to her anymore,” Jiyong said softly, and Seunghyun sighed loudly, nodding in agreement.

“Well that was a decent start to a fake argument,” he replied, and Jiyong swallowed deeply, shaking his head.

“That wasn’t fake. I… Just stop,” Jiyong mumbled, and Seunghyun cocked his brow. “I don’t even want to keep going with this. So… just stop.” Taking a few steps forward, Seunghyun turned Jiyong’s face toward him, the other man frowning visibly as he bit his lip.

“I thought you liked my massages,” he replied, and Jiyong shook his head vigorously, though Seunghyun’s grip kept him from moving too much.

“I do like your massages. But the cuddling, the kissing… I can’t deal with it. She’s probably wondering where we are, let’s go back out,” he finished, shaking his head at himself. Seunghyun stopped him, though, standing in front of the door.

“No. No, you’re not going anywhere for a second. If you don’t chill out you’re going to go out there and ruin everything. So…” Seunghyun’s voice trailed off as Jiyong narrowed his eyes in challenge at him, then reached for the door handle anyway. Before Jiyong knew what was happening he was being pushed away from the door and he looked to Seunghyun with an angered stubbornness before he nearly ran for the door a moment later. Seunghyun flipped him around, nearly pinning him against the door.

“Seunghyun come on,” he whined, looking up at the other man. Seunghyun simply shook his head.

Maybe it was the close proximity or maybe it was the lack of any real physical contact besides Seunghyun, but Jiyong’s gaze strayed to Seunghyun’s lips in the silence. He nibbled almost nervously on the inside of his lip, nose scrunched as he thought.

That was something that usually calmed him down. It had been a while since Jiyong had had , and the closeness of the moment made him realize that even more. Who he wanted, though, was the girl that may or may not still have been sitting out on their couch.

They had already kissed…

Jiyong stopped that thought before it even went anywhere, letting out a shaky breath as he tried his best to melt into the door.

“Come on, Seunghyun. Let me go,” he pleaded weakly, Seunghyun still shaking his head in response. Jiyong reached up to push Seunghyun away, hands on the other man’s chest. He gripped his shirt tightly and he heard a really soft gasp slip from Seunghyun’s lips in response and Jiyong couldn’t help it. One sentence just kept repeating over and over in his head.

Yes, they had already kissed.

And maybe he could handle it one more time…

Jiyong started to lean forward before he stopped himself, lips almost touching Seunghyun’s before he pushed him away instead. Seunghyun stared at him with wide eyes before Jiyong nearly screamed, cursing as he opened the door and stormed out of the room.

“I’m going out,” he yelled simply, all but ignoring Hyosonn, who seemed worried. He heard Seunghyun call after him but he paid him no mind, instead slamming the door behind him as he walked out into the hall.

Jiyong let his feet carry him wherever they wanted to, though he had an idea of where he was heading before he even got off the campus. One of his father’s friends owned a bar close to their campus, and one of his friends was a bartender there. Considering he worked almost every night, Jiyong was sure he’d be there. When he pushed open the door, he made a beeline for the bar, sitting down in a stool and dropping his head against the counter.

“Jiyong?” came a voice from behind the bar, and Jiyong groaned as he looked up. He was greeted by the smile of his friend, and Jiyong forced his own smile as he pushed himself up and rested his head in his hand.

“Nice to see you again, Daesung,” he said with a soft sigh, watching as the other man washed out a glass he was holding and looked him over.

“You look like ,” he finally said, speaking bluntly as he arched his brow. Jiyong frowned.

“You always did know how to make me feel better,” he replied flatly, rolling his eyes. “I feel like . I… I need someone to talk to.”

“Don’t you have a roommate to talk to?” Daesung asked, leaning on the counter. It was a slow night at the bar, so he could spend the time talking to Jiyong. Besides, they had been friends for years. Jiyong, however, just dropped his gaze, not saying a word. “He’s part of the problem, isn’t he?” he added, and Jiyong nodded silently. “Give me a second,” Daesung said, walking off to grab a glass. He mixed a drink in it quickly, then set it in front of Jiyong, who raised a brow.

“You know I’m not old enough to drink this in public,” he mumbled, looking to Daesung with raised brows. Daesung just chuckled at him under his breath, once again leaning on the counter.

“Like I care. Besides, you look like you need it.” Jiyong considered it for a moment, swishing the liquid around in the glass before nodding and taking a gulp. “You wanna talk?” Daesung continued, and Jiyong took a deep breath before nodding.

“Yeah… Do me a favor and tell me if I’m being an idiot or not,” he started, and Daesung raised a brow but agreed, watching as Jiyong systematically emptied his glass. He poured him another. “Seunghyun and I like the same girl. She’s new, and we’ve been helping her study. She’s sweet, she’s cute, and she really seems to care about us both. So we… Well, we’re both trying to get her,” he explained, and Daesung paid attention to every detail.

“How the hell are you two still friends?” he asked, and Jiyong held up a finger to silence him as he took another swig of his drink.

“I’m not done,” he interrupted. “When we first met, Hyosonn kind of casually mentioned that… Well, she said she thought Seunghyun and I were a couple.” Daesung busted out laughing, causing a frown to once again appear on Jiyong’s face. Eventually Daesung calmed himself down, covering his mouth to hide the smile as Jiyong continued. “You know how I am with girls, Daesung. I just kind of blindly agree with them. So…” Jiyong’s voice trailed off and Daesung just stared at him, blinking a few times before he dropped his hand.

“You told her you were dating Seunghyun?” he asked, and Jiyong nodded. “But… Oh, I get it. You’re trying to pull the sympathy card. Fake a break up, get the concern. Gotcha.” Jiyong stared at him with furrowed brows.

“Exactly. Wow, Seunghyun must have been onto something with that one. Yeah. But now, I just want it to be over. We’ve been trying to act more like a couple but after kissing him I just –” Now it was Daesung’s turn to hold up his hand and silence Jiyong.

“Whoa. Hold on, you two kissed?” he asked, and Jiyong nodded once more. “You’re not supposed to kiss when you fake that kind of thing. Bad idea,” he added. “The more contact there is, the more stress it causes.”

“I know! That’s why I’m here,” he replied, motions slightly exaggerated. The alcohol Daesung was giving him had slowly been affecting him, and now it seemed like he was slurring just a bit more than usual. “I mean, I almost kissed him again right before I left.” Standing up straight, Daesung tapped his lips in thought.

“Was the girl even in the room?” he asked.

“No! I just… all the stress, and –”

“Don’t make excuses,” Daesung interrupted, looking Jiyong over. “Sounds like you two just need to screw and get it over with. You don’t usually stress this much about a girl,” he continued, and Jiyong’s jaw dropped.

“What?” he exclaimed loudly, not even caring that Daesung was pouring him a new drink and not really reacting to his obvious irritation. “What the hell does that mean?” Daesung shrugged, not even looking up.

“It means what I said. You almost kissed him when your girl wasn’t even in the room? Just because?” he asked, gaze finally meeting Jiyong’s. “You just keep telling yourself that you have no attraction to the guy.”

Jiyong sat in silence for a moment, then narrowed his eyes at Daesung. Pulling out his wallet, he tossed what the drinks cost onto the bar, the downed the one in front of him.

“I’m not tipping you,” he grumbled, lips pursed as he shook his head at the other man, then slipped out into the night.

He should have known Daesung would give him bad advice. He had been hoping for a way out of the lie, or for a way to win Hyosonn over to him. What he hadn’t wanted was that. This whole lie had started because they both liked a girl, so this didn’t even make sense.

Jiyong hadn’t noticed how much alcohol Daesung had put into his drinks, but now that he was walking he could definitely feel it. There was a pleasant buzz settling in, maybe even more than a buzz, and it managed to calm him down a bit. By the time he reached the dorm Jiyong could have easily been considered tipsy, and he slammed the door behind him,

It had been pretty late when he’d left, so he assumed that Hyosonn would have gone home. Usually Seunghyun would still be up, though. Hesitantly he knocked on his bedroom door, and was met with a soft grunt of what appeared to be approval of his entrance. So he walked in, Seunghyun covering his head with his sheets when the light from the hallway hit his eyes. Jiyong couldn’t help but laugh, almost swerving as he threw himself down onto Seunghyun’s bed.

“I’m sorry I got mad earlier,” he said, still a slight slur hiding in his words. Seunghyun pulled the sheets down and shook his head in response.

“It’s alright,” he replied easily, though his voice was still scratchy with sleep. “Where were you?” he asked, “And why are you in my room?”

“I went to talk to a friend. And I wanted to see if you were here,” he said, eyes absently tracing the curves of Seunghyun’s face. He had nice bone structure – he could have quit school and modeled if he had wanted to. Jiyong shook his head to clear his thoughts, rolling his eyes at himself.

Seunghyun had other plans, though.

All of a sudden, Jiyong felt the other man’s arms around him and he pulled him down so that he was lying on the bed as well. Seunghyun’s eyes were closed, breathing still heavy and relaxed from sleep.

“I’m sorry for putting you through all of this. I didn’t think it was so bad for you,” he murmured, words barely audible even to Jiyong, who was facing him and barely a few inches away. “You smell like liquor,” he added, and Jiyong laughed.

“I was drinking,” he replied with a smirk, biting his lip. His hair had fallen in front of his eyes but he made no move to fix it, though Seunghyun did a moment later. His hand fell to rest on the back of Jiyong’s head, holding his hair in place. “Where’s Hyosonn?”

“She left a little after you… I got worried and kind of snapped at her for telling me to calm down,” he admitted, eyes barely open as he looked at Jiyong. “I felt like an for making you run off like that. I’m glad you’re safe,” he added, and Jiyong couldn’t help but smile.

They were still close. This whole thing hadn’t changed them too much.

But even now, as Jiyong looked over the sleepy face of Seunghyun, complete with mussed hair from lying on it, Jiyong’s eyes followed every crease of the other man’s face. Maybe he hadn’t actually looked at him before. Seunghyun had worried about him, had snapped at Hyosonn because he’d run off, had looked completely shocked when he’d pushed him away…

“Flip over. I’ll give you a massage.”

Hesitantly he did so, Seunghyun immediately resting his hands on Jiyong’s shoulders and starting to work out the knots that he didn’t even know were there. It felt like heaven.