"Saranghae oppa...", "I'm sorry, I just thought of you as sister...",

"Saranghae oppa...", "I'm sorry, let's just be friend...",

"Saranghae oppa...", "I'm sorry, I cant accept you more than this...",

Now I'm getting use to that statement, sometimes it makes me laugh...it hurts for the first time, but when it comes the second, third and fourth, you just automaticly preparing yourself for the bad news, without you knowing it. Here I am sitting on the bench with my lovely dog, Kingka...I always hangout with my dog in my every spare time, his totally my buddy! Since I have him, I always tell every detail of my crush, maybe thats way I'm not to sad when I got rejected...love you, Kingka!

its adoreable, right? ^o^v

 "Kingka, saranghae...dont ever leave me, okay?", I the top of its head, I see his eyes close up a bit and shake its tail enthusiastically...so cute, "You know what, let's race to the house...if you lose, you have to stay outside tonight, araso? Kaja!", then I got up from the bench and start running, we down the hill and crossing the street...BAM! There's a car with high speed, crossing the street...like a slow motion trough my eyes, I see Kingka thrown hard on the streets...

"I'm sorry Kingka, its my fault...stupid race, why I have to think that way, we should just playing around, not race! I'm sorry Kingka, I'm really sorry...", I'm sobbing hardly in front of my dog cemetery, "This is not the end, Kingka...I'll do the same, I'll always come here to see you, always wait for me, okay?", then I go from there after saying goodbye...

It's already a month since Kingka death, I still manage myself to go to Kingka cemetery...even there's nothing to tell, I just miss to touch my dog. "Kingka, I miss you...do you miss me?", I touch the cold stone in front of me, its not warm like Kingka's fur..."Is it good up there? I bet you like there a lot better than with me, right?", I sighing...actually I'm tired of this longing that is not delivered, "Should I stop seeing you and get a new one?", my eyes start to teary, one by one flew like a small river...

I sitting alone at the bench, that I always sit with Kingka..."Kingka, let me tell you the story of my new crush...sorry to tell you here, not at your cold place, it gives me a goosebump lately, sorry okay?", I start to talk like there's Kingka at my side, "His name is Kim Jong In, but everybody called him Kai, he's a dance machine in his rookie group, there's a lot of girl that fall for him including me, he's almost perfect inside and outside, I cant imagine myself being his girlfriend, its makes my life extraordinary complete! But...we both know, there's no way it could happen, right Kingka?", I see my next side and sighing...please bark Kingka, I miss your barking, it convince me that you hear and understand me! I got this teary eyes again, after Kingka's death its easy for me to cry and cry...I guess I'm dying inside with all of my rejection, broken-hearted and the death of my dog!

BARK BARK BARK! Still in my bench, I look around and see dog running to me...I got up and the dog start circling me, still barking and wiggle its tail. Then I start to bend and its fur, there's a choker on its neck but no name in it..."Annyeong, what your name? Are you alone? Should I brought you to my house? You're such a cute dog, but...I still prefer Kingka than you, mianhae", I give it a hug then stand up, I grab the dog chain and start walking, "Dogie-ah, where's your master? Let's take around, maybe she/he start worrying and looking at you know, kaja!", hm...I didnt see someone searching this dog, should I brought it home? Yeah...let's do that, I'll give it the same treatment like I did to Kingka, maybe it makes my feeling of loosing Kingka a bit less...

Dogie with his master, so lovely right? ^o^v

It's almost a week, I always keep the dog to the bench I use to with Kingka, even I take it to Kingka cemetery then I introduce them to each other... "Yah...Kingka, look I brought new friend for you, but...I dont know its name, I just call it Dogie for now, how do you thing? He's cute, right? But...its not cute like you, I still make you my number 1!", I laugh at it and Dogie start barking and wiggle its tail, then both of us say goodbye to Kingka...

"Dogie-ah, its almost a week...where's your master? Why she/he did'nt look after you?", I keep walking around until I heard someone shouting then Dogie start to run to the voice, "Yah...dogie-ah, slow down will you!", Dogie keep running and I have to keep same pace with it, I'm afraid it will run and lose again. Then I hear no voice again, so dogie stop for a while, "Dogie-ah, did'nt you hear the voice again?", when I ask, the voice came up again and Dogie start to run too, until I see someone running to us...I let go the dog leash and stop, I know him, I keep staring at him, I hope my eyes did'nt fool me, he's Kai...my crush. "Monggu-ah, where have you been? I'm searching you almost a week!", while they're having a conversation, I turn around and take my step out from there, I cant believe I'm having Kai's dog almost a week! I hope he's not recognize me...BARK BARK BARK! Then I see dogie in front of me, "Dogie-ah, what are you doing? Go back...", even its just almost a week, but having dogie with me makes me feel a bit less more of missing my Kingka..."Yeah...I know, I'll miss you too, Dogie-ah", I bend and hug it for one last time, "Bye...go now!", I start to run leaving Dogie behind, I hope Kai did'nt see my face...

"Kingka-ah, today I see my crush, Kai...you know what, it turns out Dogie was his pet, I'm really happy to know it, but of course Kai did'nt know me...we just a stranger passing by to each other, I always see him at his dance studio, practising with his friend...", I sighing and touch the cold stone, "Kingka-ah, I'm alone again...I think, my personality is eroding gradually, without you by my side...feels like I'm sinking", then I say goodbye to Kingka to go back home.

My boring daily routine : school-bench-Kingka-home-school-bench-Kingka-home-school-bench-Kingka-home, to be honest I dont have a friend...I've always had friends, but not anymore. I found myself more secure to be alone, maybe I just play around with them at school area but out from that I cut myself out automaticly...and here I am, at my lovely bench! Suddenly... BARK BARK BARK!  "Dogie-ah, you came! How are you? You miss me? Yeah...I miss you too", I bend and hug Dogie then ruffle its fur, "Should I take you home again? Or lets visit Kingka?", "Then you should ask me first", I heard someone speak to me from behind...I swallowed my saliva now, its Kai! "Dogie-ah, I guess your master coming...I should take my leave now, annyeong", I stand up and run as fast as I can, thank goodness I did not look back! "Hey...wait up, where you're going? Don't you wanna play with monggu?", I heard what he say but I keep running...I hope he's not chasing me!

"Kingka-ah, today I see my crush, Kai...you know what, I'm running from him, I just dont know what to do, I was thought Dogie got lost again but...its not, Dogie came with Kai...tch, I tought I'm lucky to get Dogie to home again, but...its not", I sighing and touch the cold stone, "Kingka-ah, its not my style to running like that, its not like I use to be...I should just turn around and speak to Kai, right? But...my mind and my body does'nt work like that anymore, I start to become shy and timid, what should I do Kingka?", I sighing again, then I say goodbye to Kingka to go back home.

I see him, I see Kai trough my window class...like usual he and his group always surrounded by girls, makes me feel like owl misses the moon! I got out from my class after finish tidy up my things, lets just go to my sweet spot, the bench! I reach my locker, then pull out all my books from bag and arranged it into locker, when I close it..."I guess you will go to your bench, right?", I got shock, suddenly Kai appear and speak to me, maybe not so I look around but there's no one except me, "Maybe you got the wrong person, excuse me", Kingka, I run again...

I reach the bench and catch my breath, I got my drink and gulping it greedily, then take a deep breath, BARK BARK BARK! I smile and turn my head, its Dogie, but...instantly my smile disappear, Kai came too. "Looks like I got the right person, right monggu?", I see dogie clinging and wiggle its tail around me, I cant run this time...what should I do Kingka? Should I confess now and make him shock, so I can run again? Yeah...lets do that, maybe after that he will see me as a wacko girl and not come again to this bench, its better that way...I think, right Kingka? "I like you, Kim Jong In or Kai...whatever, I have a crush on you since I see you at the dance studio when you practising with you friends, and about your dog, I dont know its yours until you came to this bench, so dont think I'm using it for get to know you", "I'm sorry, but I...", "I know you will reject me, I already use to it...I just want you to know how I feel, its okay...I should go now", I run...again.

I start to sobbing, "Kingka-ah, I confess to him, I know he will reject me, I use it for my escape...I just dont know what to do, I'm totally confuse with myself...", I'm crying hard right now, maybe if someone passing by they'll look at me like a crazy person! "Kingka-ah, I'm sure he'll see me as a wacko girl right now...dont you, think so?", "I'm not that petty, you know", I turn my head and got shock...Kai?! "What are you doing in here? How did you get me?", why should I ask anyway, before he answer I cut him, "I'm sorry for asking, its your right to be wherever you like, I'll go now", sorry for not saying goodbye properly, Kingka-ah...

Its really heavy to get my feet to go to school, maybe I'll wait in the library. At least its quite in here, makes me feel a bit calm. I spot myself in the corner, I bet no one see me in here...lets sleep for a while. This spot was totally perfect, I got instantly falling asleep after reading a few pages from my favorite book, fairytail about sleeping beauty. I wish my prince can wake me up with his kiss that full of love to me...

How long was I asleep...I rub my eyes a bit and stretch my hand, I feel so good and relieve, while still closing my eyes, I absord all my consciousness until I fully wake up. "I guess you having a good sleep and beautiful dream, right?", automaticly I got up and so  is he, dear Lord, how long he been there?! I cant run anymore, I'm totally got corner, "Looking for escape, Sleeping Beauty?", is he reading my mind?! What should I do now, what should I do, Kingka?! "You want something from me?", "Tell me everything about you, but tell me first...what do you mean you already get used to rejected?", why he so blunt like this? "I dont know what you're talking about, I'll leave now", extremely embarrassing got cornered like this! Before I can walk, he block my way, "You cant go anywhere before you explain to me, beside you already confess to me, so...dont waste it", I'm totaly embarace now, why he still remember it?! "Yah...Kim Jong In, I already say and you reject it, so dont bother with it!", I try to walkout but he still block my way, "That day after you run, I chase you and end up hearing everything you say...before I can answer your question, you already cut me off...twice a day and its my first experience to be cut like that by a girl...", "I'm sorry for that, I'm sorry for bothering you, just leave this matter, okay? Its fine with me", I want to go out now but he still not moving! "See...you cut me again, its your habit I guess...", "Whats wrong with you, I said...", I havent finish my line, the thing that happen now is...Kai kiss me! "Its my turn to cut you now...", I still shock, when I regain my senses, I push him and runaway!

"Kingka-ah...Kingka-ah...Kingka-ah...he took it, Kai took my first kiss...", I lean on and sobbing hard at Kingka's tombstone, "He already reject me, why he kiss me, even I still have my feeling for him...should I happy or sad?!", I cover my face and start to cry again, "You know Kingka, this is the hard rejection that ever happen to me and its painfull enough to deal with it!", I take a deep breath and got up, after that I say goodbye to Kingka to back home.

BARK BARK BARK! "Dogie-ah, you're here...", if dogie is here, then Kai is here too..."Dogie-ah, I'm absolutely missing you but I cant play with you today, I have to run, just stay okay...annyeong!", I run as far as I can and suddenly there's a car passing by in front of me...then Kai out from that car, he walk towards me and grab my hand, "I know this will happen, I intentionally  use monggu to distracht you and looks like my plan works...come with me, I insist!", I see him whistling and dogie come catching up us, all of us go into Kai's car. He did'nt say a words, feels so awkward and when I see the back seat dogie is already sleeping peacefully, I wondering where he will take me? While I wandering the car slowly stop, Kai got out and open the door for me then take monggu too. Is this his house, why he take me here? "Come on in, have a drink with me, Kang Je In", I'm shock hearing my name cames from his lips, I just nod and got inside. "Have a sit, make yourself at home...I'll make a drink for us", I just noding and sit, while he at the kitchen, I play with dogie, "Dogie-ah, I dont know what happen in here...I want to run, but its not polite...so stay with me here, okay?", I hug and ruffle its fur playfully, "Dogie-ah, your master is weird...he already reject me, but why he keep buging me?", I sighing and stare at dogie, "Dogie-ah, actually I can run now but...somehow I restrain myself not doing it, maybe I should tell everything to him, dont you think?", I sighing again, "Here, drink it...it looks like you got a heavy burden, Jein-ah", I look up and see him offering the drink, "Ne, gomawo Jongin-shi", I take sip, good grief he make us a cold drink, makes me relieve a bit, "Feeling better?", I look at him, he look so sincere to me, "Ne, gomawo", we still look at each other, I feel shy and break it, then suddenly he put down the drink and come closer to me...he take and put my drink too then cupped my face...he kiss me gently. His lips was so soft and chewy yet sweet and addictive, his kiss persuade me to receive and kiss him back...I want to, but hesitate still fill my brain until I feel he pull out the kiss. "Jein-ah, am I a bad kisser?", I look up and bent again, then shook my head, "Mianhae Jongin-shi, why you take me here?", while asking I look the other way, try to avoid eye contact with him...I still feel shy about the kiss, "Then why did'nt you kiss me back? Just Kai if you still use formality to me", why he back to the kiss matter? "Jongin-shi...I mean Kai, I like your kiss...no I mean...I", he cut me and kiss me again in a same way with the earlier kiss, I try to pull back but he hold both my hand and the back of my neck, the kiss is more seductive...finally I cant hold myself anymore, even it feels embarrassing but I gave him the same kiss until it got more havier...I can feel our tongue intertwined, then we pull out to catch our breath. Its embarrassing, its totally embarrassing...I push him and try to walkout the door, before reach out the door he got my hand and pull me into his embrace, "Jein-ah, you still like me and maybe you love me and I know I'm right", I struggle in his embrace, but its useless, "Kai, please dont do this to me, you hurting me...its okay you reject me, but dont play with me...are you trying to make me hate you?", he pull me out and grab both my shoulder, "Look at me, you always say that I reject you...now tell me, when I say that?", I confuse and start to think, "When I confess my feeling for you that day at the bench, you say sorry for rejecting me...", "That was your fault, I have'nt finish my line, you make your own conclusion...", "No, I know its rejection line...its always start like that", "See...like this, you cut me before I finish it, just...", "Stop it, Jongin...its okay, I can accept it, I know its hard but we still alive and just deal with it, its...", "SHUT UP AND LISTEN!", I'm shock, I'm totally shock...he yelling at me! "I like you and maybe I love you too...Kang Je In".

PLAK! "That was to far, Kim Jong In...I cant take it anymore, its good to be true!", "LOOK AT ME...AM I LYING RIGHT NOW?!", he grab my shoulder and shake it roughly, "Listen Jein...I dont know what happen with you, but its past...I'm your present and future!", my present and future...with Kai? "Thankyou for your concern, but you dont have to do it this far...Kai, and I'm sorry for slapping you...I guess I'm shock with your suddenly confess", I smile bitterly and look the other way..."I know, thats way I'll convince you", he look at me deeply, my cheek gently then thumbing my lips... closer his face to mine and kiss me sweetly. His sweet and gentle kiss, persuaded me to receive the kiss...can resist anymore, slowly I kiss him back with the same feeling. Never knew it'll happen to me, I cant describe it...I'm speechless! Kai begin to deepened the kiss, he start my lips...feels like he enjoying my lips like a candy. I open my lips and feel his warm tongue start dominating the depth of my mouth...while doing he guide my hand to wrapped around his neck, then his hand pull in my waist to him...I got the intimate aura all over my mind and body now! Both of us pull out to catch a breath, our forehead collide...we feel our warm breath to each other, "From now on I'm yours and you're mine", Kai's hand pull up my chin and look at me with sparkling eyes, he's totally adoreable..."Are you sure about this? I still can manage my feeling if you change your mind, Kai...but, if it more far than this, I think...I cant handle it anymore, it'll be to painfull", I let go of my hand slowly from his neck and try to look other way, "No, this is for real...You and me, we'll be together until you forget how long it takes, until you cant release yourself from me, until you forcing me to let you go...no matter what happen, dont ever doubt my feeling for you because...its absolutely real, saranghae Jein-ah", I look up to his eyes, my eyes tearing up...I feel cherished and loved, this feeling is so miraculous! "Nado, saranghae Jongin-ah", he pull me in to his full of love embrace for me and look at me again...his eyes look into me deeply, "Tonight and the rest night of your life will be with me, Kang Je In", then we both kiss passionately.

Kamsahamnida yeoreobun, gomawo for reading my fanfic, I hope you guys enjoy it... Please be nice to me, I will take suggestions and criticisms with pleasure, annyeong...^o^v