Sunflower

Stepping into the familiar store with all the scents and flowers, I can’t help but smile in content. I’ve been coming to this store for years and this place never gets old for me. I have so many years worth of memories accumulated in this store. Walking to the sunflowers, my smile grows even wider. My favorite flowers in the whole world. It doesn’t matter which florist or store I go to, their sunflowers are just not the same as these ones.

“Joohyun!” I hear a familiar voice.

“Hello Minseok,” I greet him with a smile. I come here so often that everybody working in the store knows me. Kim Minseok is the business partner of the owner of this florist. He owns the adjoining café to this store.

When I look behind him, my heart stops. How long has it been since I last saw him? How long ago was it, when he left me behind? I feel a small pang in my heart when I see him. Of all places, I see him here. Out of all the possible places to see him in Seoul, he’s here. He looks the same, but yet the air around him is different. He looks familiar but the feel is not.

It has been five years since I last saw him, he’s not mine anymore. As he walks towards me I can feel some of the old memories surging forward. Minseok turns around and smiles as he greets his old friend. And then he stops in front of me.

“It’s been a long time Joohyun,” he says with that same voice from years ago. And I can’t help the memories years past from bubbling forward.

“Noona, let’s date,” He says to me.

Elation, excitement, happiness all course through me as I receive his confession. Not trusting my voice, I nod my head in reply. The nervousness and anxiousness in his face wiped clean, replaced with a bright, happy smile. And I can’t help but smile back.

“It has hasn’t it Sehun?” I reply.

“A table just opened up, do you guys want it?” Minseok asks. When both Sehun and I nod, he leads us to the table. He leaves us as soon as we sit down and gives me a knowing look, I answer him with a reassuring smile.

Sitting down with Sehun again after so many years was the same yet different. We were here together but we weren’t here as a couple. It felt like nothing, yet everything had changed. We were older now, wiser. For the first few minutes we said nothing. Taking in the comfortable and familiar scenery as well as just smiling every now and then. It was a comfortable silence.

“Noona! This is for you,” he said while brandishing out a sunflower from behind his back. He knows I love sunflowers and he knows I love sunflowers from this particular store.

I blush that he knows. I accept the sunflower and give him a bright smile. He blushes in return but I can see the happiness dancing in his eyes.

“When did you arrive back in Seoul?” I ask, breaking out of my reverie.

“Just last week,” he replies with a smile. “I came back for a photo shoot. I have another one next week so I’ll be flying out soon. It’s so tiring an-”

“You love it though, don’t you?” I ask, cutting him off. Because I know. Despite how hard his job is as a model, despite how much he complains about it, he loves the lifestyle. He loves the travelling, he loves the photo shoots, he loves it all. I smile when I see him nod in agreement. When you spend three years in a relationship with someone, there are just some things you can tell right away.

“Noona! I just got scouted by a modeling agency!” He tells me with a huge, beaming smile on his face. And I smile in return. Because this is his dream. This is what he’s always been hoping for, to become a worldwide known model.

“Congratulations Sehun!” I congratulate him, I’m happy for him because I know this is what he wants. And if he’s happy, then so am I.

“What about you?” He asks. “Are you busy with any cases now?”

“As of now, no, but I think there’ll be a case coming my way soon. I’ve heard my superior discuss it with his partner,” I reply.

I know what it was that separated us all those years ago. Even though I planned my whole future out with him, I know why we ended up the way we did. I wanted to stay here in Seoul. Seoul is my home, and it always will be. There was nothing much outside Seoul that appealed to me.

But where I wanted to stay here, Sehun wanted to be anywhere but here. He dreamed of travelling, he dreamed of exploring all the other countries all over the world. He didn’t want to stay in only this one country. His dream came true and I was happy for him at the time. It’s just, I didn’t know at the time, what it entailed for us.

“I’m leaving for China next month noona,” he tells me sadly. We’ve put this off for a long time. We knew we’d end up going different ways. We were just prolonging what we had.

“So where does this leave us Sehun?” I ask in a whisper, my voice laced with unshed tears.

“Noona, let’s break up,” he says with so much sadness. I look into his eyes, I can see the conflict, I can see the how much it took for him to say those words. I see it all. I wouldn’t put this burden on him. I will not leave him with a crying image of myself. Even if I had to break my heart in the process, I will let Sehun live his dream. Mustering up all my courage I give him a small smile.

“Alright, let’s do that,” I say to him. I can see the pain on his face, I can see the sadness in his eyes but most importantly I can see the relief in his shoulders. And my heart breaks piece by piece with every emotion that passes through Sehun’s face.

“Goodbye noona,” he says in a whisper and leaves a single flower on the table. My favorite flower, the sunflower. When he leaves, that is when I break down. Because although we’ve broken up before, they were nothing but petty fights. We would always get back together. But this was different, this was final. Our relationship of three years, gone with those three words. I cried my heart out. I cried until my heart’s content.

“It’s funny that we would meet again here of all places,” his eyes looking around in wonder.

“You don’t know how many times I’ve been saying that to myself since I saw you,” I say to him, smiling. “But I wouldn’t have it any other way. All of our memories are here.”

“They are,” he responds quietly.

This is when the door opens and a tall man hurries into the store and stands behind the counter. As he settles himself behind the counter, he lets his eyes scan over the customers in the store. As he reaches mine, he stops and gives me a huge smile. The trademark, beaming smile of Park Chanyeol. As he sees who I am with, his face changes into one of worry. Very unlike him. I can only give him a reassuring smile in return.

“We were good together,” I hear Sehun say.

I turn to him and smile. Because in truth, we were good together. We had too many memories together to count. Happy memories, sad ones. But then it’s hard to remember the sad memories when there were so many more happy memories to outshine them. I was there to celebrate with him when he got his first modeling job here in Seoul and he was here with me when I won first case.

We were there for each other, through thick and thin. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Although I didn’t get my perfect ending with Sehun, I wouldn’t change a single one of our experience together. Some people just weren’t meant to be and we were one of them.

I see a beautiful woman come into the café, and she makes her way towards our table. I see Chanyeol give me a worried glance, but I give him a small smile in return. She pecks Sehun on the lips and her eyes turn to me.

“Hyoyeon, meet Joohyun,” Sehun introduces, very awkwardly I might add. Her eyes light up brightly in recognition.

“So you are Joohyun!” She smiles, and looks genuinely excited to see me. “He still talks about you. I have a lot to live up to because of you.” She says with a wink. Sehun, meanwhile, is spluttering about how she doesn’t have to live up to anyone. She’s perfect the way she is and he compares her to no one. I look at them and can’t help but smile. They really do look perfect for each other. And if there’s anything I can see from being together with him all those years ago, it’s that he genuinely loves her.

She’s a photographer, and I can’t help but think that they’re just even more perfect for each other. They travel together, they’re always there for each other and they have the same interests. Anyone could tell that these two were head over heels for each other.

Time passes by all too quickly; it feels like only minutes have passed by when it’s been three hours. I find that I really do love talking to Hyoyeon. If we had more time, we would become great friends. Before she leaves, she leaves me her number. We’ll be great friends after all.

“Well, I’ll see you Joohyun,” Sehun says. He holds out his arms and I walk into them. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” I whisper. When I step out of his embrace, I smile at him. “Call me when you come back. I’m going to miss Hyoyeon.” With a laugh, he nods, bidding me one more wave goodbye as he follows Hyoyeon out the door.

*****

“Joohyun, baby, are you okay?” He asks his deep voice laced with worry, very uncharacteristic of Park Chanyeol. He knows about my past with Sehun. He knows the seriousness of my past relationship with him. He knows it all.

“Of course I am Chanyeol,” I place my hand on his cheek and give him a reassuring smile.

“I love you baby, but your taste in men before me was just bad,” he said with his trademark, beaming smile, not looking even remotely sorry for his comment. I laugh and place a loving kiss on his lips. Because this is how it’s supposed to be. Chanyeol is my happy ending.

Chanyeol is my sunflower.