You took a deep breath and held the stick away from you. It didn’t seem right. There was no way you were seeing double. But as you looked at the pregnancy test again, indeed there were the two pink lines. Your heart thumped and you placed the stick in a sealed container and thought about what to do.

            You were young, a little too young to have a baby, but you also wanted to keep it. You knew your boyfriend was still trying to establish his photography studio, and a baby wasn’t financially possible.

            A million thoughts went through your head, the first being how many months? You had missed your last two periods, so you were assuming that you were at least two to three months. This meant that any chance of an abortion was going to have to be done quickly.

            Your heart broke when you thought of having a metal tube go up you, out the life that hadn’t even begun. You couldn’t do it. Your conscience would prick you until you die. You bit the inside of your cheek, still debating. You knew you had to talk to Myungsoo.

            It was hard trying to get him to be with you alone. Ever since his business started to pick up, he had been out late, trying to entice investors and customers. But you insisted that the two of you sit down and talk. You had waited until your first trimester was over, cutting off all chances of an abortion.

            “Myungsoo, there’s something I need to tell you.”

            He looked at you curiously. “What’s wrong? How’s your work?”

            “No, it has nothing to do with work. I need to talk to you about us.”

            “Us?” Now he paused. His coffee mug, which had been traveling to his lips, stopped in midair. “Is there something wrong?”

            “No, well, not really. It’s just ‘us’ is going to mean something completely different now.”

            He was still confused and you took a deep breath. You stood up. You had purposely worn something that was tighter than usual. “Do I look different to you?”

            Myungsoo ran his eye over your face and quickly over your body. “Not really.”

            You stood so that he was looking at your profile. You knew your stomach was more visible now. “Now?”

            He in a breath and you met his eye warily. “You’re not? You don’t really mean?” He couldn’t say the word but you knew it was on his mind. You nodded and he deflated. He bit his lip. “How long have you known?”

            “A month. I’m almost four months, Myungsoo. We’re going to have the baby.”

            He stood up suddenly. “Why didn’t you discuss this with me?”

            Tears smarted in your eyes. “This is our baby, Myungsoo. You can’t just give it up because we think we’re not ready.”

            “We aren’t.” His words were hard and short.

            “We can be. We have my parents and I’m working. Your business is flourishing. We can make this work. Please.” You were pleading now. The other people in the café were listening and you walked outside, pushing him with you. “Myungsoo, let’s give this a chance.”

            “You can’t give a baby a chance. Once you have it, you’re stuck. I can’t. I can’t do this. You can’t just make the decision by yourself. Did you forget you were roping me along too?”

            His words, his harsh choice of language hit you, and you stiffened. “Fine,” you said. “Fine. I guess we’re done. I made my decision, and you, apparently, made yours. Go back to your meeting or whatever. Good bye.”

            And you walked back into the café to continue your shift. He called you but you wouldn’t go outside. You were done with him. You asked the boss to make sure he doesn’t come in, and he stayed away.

            You moved back with your parents. They were disgruntled, and angry at him, but willing to be your support system for the next five months. You missed him but you knew that if he had agreed to an abortion, you would never forgive the two of you. You needed to have this baby, and Myungsoo would have been a plus, but now he was gone.

            Even though he had hurt you, you still missed him with an ache that wouldn’t go away. Carrying the baby took a lot of energy from you and when the pains came, you weren’t sure you could do it without him.

            The labor was hazy in your mind. You only recalled the painful process of having to breathe and push at the same time. The pain between your legs was enough to make you forget the pain of not having Myungsoo next to you. You held onto someone tightly, no longer sure who it was.

            “You’ll be okay, I promise.” It was a voice you recognized but then there was a wail and you were out.

            It was a shock when you came to, to see Myungsoo with his head on your blankets, sleeping. You reached out to touch him, to see if he was real. He stirred and looked at you and you swallowed.

            “I’m sorry,” he said. His first words as the nurse came in were lost as she held out your baby boy.

            “The two of you did excellently. He’s a really dedicated father. This one came running up soon after you were admitted and stayed by your side the entire time.”

            You glanced at him with wonder and Myungsoo blushed. You bit your lip and knew that this was his way of apologizing. He carefully took your son from the nurse and held him up to you. “Look, he wants his mama.”

            As you held your son safely against your chest, you looked at Myungsoo and saw a single tear drip down his cheek. “These past months were hard for you.”

            You nodded and he looked at you. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t handle the sudden news and I overreacted. I’m sorry.”

            You smiled a little. The baby’s hands were clutching onto your robe, and you looked down at him, then at Myungsoo. “Would you leave this little one again?”

            He swallowed and shook his head. “I wouldn’t leave you either.”

            You felt at peace for the first time in five months. You had your baby, and you had the love of your life. You smiled and Myungsoo took your hand, moving closer to you and his son. “I love you,” he whispered and you responded by kissing him.

this is for syazygirl

I changed your picture because this one sort of was inspiration~