Jongup

I groaned when I woke, and shivered when I felt a breeze on my body. I tried to wrap further up in the blankets, but it wasn't helping. I sat up and felt the cold air hit my chest hard. I knew I put on a shirt before I went to bed. I looked down and screamed.

Why the hell was I this pale?

Where were my abs?

Why did I look strangely like my hyung?

I didn't believe it, but when I saw the rest of the members wake by my commotion, I saw my own body on the bunk beside mine. I saw myself sit up.

Himchan

I was about to curse at whatever member got me up, but looked over to the side, eyes widening when I saw myself sitting up, staring at me.

Why the hell was I so warm? I'm usually freezing in the mornings.

Why the hell was I in clothes? I sighed and looked down, jumping to see a shirt two sizes too big, with an ugly Chris Brown head on it. I screamed when I looked at my hands, not seeing pale skin, but slightly tan skin. I leaped off the bed, screaming even more when I had a burst of athletic energy instead of wishing I hadn't have jumped. I charged into the bathroom and stared into the mirror.

No doubt about it.

I was stuck in Jongup's body.

“What the hell is everyone screaming about?” Yongguk yelled.

“Aish, Yonggukkie you don't have to scream!”

I stopped, hearing Jongup's voice come out of my mouth. Realizing Jongup shouldn't be saying things like that.

“What?!” Yongguk yelled, anger apparent in his voice.

“Sorry, hyung! I-I'm sorry!” I cringed, feeling strange talking like this. If I was stuck in Jongup's body there was no way I was going to get him in trouble.

Or would I? I smirked and made my way back into the bedroom. I wondered if Jongup was stuck in my body, as the reason I looked so lost. “Hey, Himchan-hyung.” I chuckled, feeling so strange addressing myself. “Can I talk to you in the hall?”

I saw myself nod, and followed me off the bunk, holding the blanket around the bare body. It was soon covered by the robe I kept near my bed and I led myself into the hallway. I shut the door and then sighed. “I'm trapped in your body and you're trapped in mine, right?” I whispered.

“What do we do, hyung? I mean..” Jongup sighed. “We should tell the members.”

“No.” I pointed in his face...my face...whatever!

“Why?”

“Stop pouting, I don't pout. It looks funny!” I scolded. “You're pouting even more now!”

“Stop getting angry, I don't get angry, it looks weird.” He mumbled.

“Aish...” I rubbed my forehead, well, his forehead. “...haven't you wondered what it's like to be an adult?” I smiled. “You can be me for a while and I can be you. It'll be fun.”

“I'll mess it up.” He pouted again.

“Dear god, Jongup, if you don't stop pouting.” I harshly whispered, then sighed. “Look, you'll do fine, I promise.”

Jongup

I didn't think I could pull off being Himchan, but I guess I would try if he wanted me to. I just nodded and he pushed me into the bedroom. “Are you okay, hyung?” I almost didn't respond, but then I remembered that I was Daehyun's hyung.

I tried to think of what Himchan would say, but I couldn't, so I just nodded. This was probably worse, though, because Himchan was always talking.

Yongguk got out of the shower and signaled for me to go in. It felt strange going second, but that wasn't my problem.

Washing my hyung's body was my problem.

I had to touch it.

And I would feel it.

This is so strange.

What the hell do I do?

I marched into the bathroom and shut the door. I had a plan. I simply ducked my head in the water, got my hair nice and moist, then just left the shower on. I sat in the floor and sighed. I was not going to look down at my hyung's body. That just wasn't right. I wasn't going to wash it, either. That was just wrong.

I got “out of the shower” when I felt it had been long enough for a normal Himchan shower. I simply sat on his bunk and waited for everyone to get finished.

Himchan
 

Is it bad to say that I was eager to get in the shower? Look, he comes in only in his boxers after his showers. He flaunts his gorgeous body around and no one can help their stares. I was just so eager to see what you couldn't see. So eager to look in the mirror and look at those abs whenever I wanted to. His body was definitely something I could look at forever.

I got in the shower and stripped so fast I almost fell. I eagerly looked down and felt my face heat up. He was packed, no doubt. He was gorgeous everywhere. I gulped and tried to resist the urge to touch this body, but I could feel myself getting hard just looking at it.

It wasn't even my hard-on was it?

Is it bad that thinking of this as Jongup's hard-on only made it worse? I cursed and knew I had to get rid of it or else. I'm sorry, Jongup. You have a bad hyung.

It was a longer shower than Jongup normally took, but that wasn't my problem. Half of the battle was making sure I wasn't loud. I went into the bedroom and jumped onto his bunk. I didn't look over at him, sure he was wondering what I was doing in there. I waited on Zelo to get done and we retreated to the kitchen. I almost sat down in my seat, but made it over beside Zelo.

“Jonguppie-hyung, you look stressed.” Zelo mumbled, half-asleep.

“No, I'm fine.” I plastered one of those infamous smiles across my face and Zelo just smiled back.

I looked across the table at Jongup, who was staring at the small amount of food I made sure I got on my plate. I never ate a lot, for dietary purposes. He looked almost saddened by it, but started eating anyways. “It's actually a free-day today. The program we were set for was canceled.” Yongguk explained.

Normally I would complain that my fans wouldn't get to see me, but Jongup was quiet. I was about to kick him until he let out a long sigh. “Pity, I made sure to wash my hair twice for them.”

I smiled and internally praised my dongsaeng for his good acting. He actually sounded just like I would, and said something I would say. “You're obsessed with fans, hyung.” Youngjae chuckled.

“At least I have some.”

I laughed softly at Jongup's witty comeback that I probably wouldn't even have thought up this quick. He was good. Too good. Youngjae frowned and just went back to eating.

Jongup
 

After breakfast, I wanted to retreat to the practice room, realizing I never had any idea where Himchan went during his free time. I just sighed and walked into the bedroom. I got dressed in some comfortable clothes and just started wandering around the dorm. I figured I would go to the practice room and find Himchan to ask him what he did.

“Going to watch Jongup again?” Yongguk came up beside me. “You really like to watch him dance don't you?” I felt myself blush. He watched me? When I danced during free time, usually it was to relieve stress or to let out a personal emotion. That time was private. I just nodded and looked away. “You like him, don't you?” I blushed even harder, because my mind started to wonder. Did he like me?

I turned around and sped into the bedroom. I thought I was doing good at playing Himchan before, but I wasn't now. I didn't know what to do. Didn't know what to say.

I wanted to be back in my own body more than anything now.

Himchan

I knew if Jongup was hiding anything, it was in here. Every chance he got, he came here. I'm sure there had to be secret compartments and walls filled with Jongup's inner secrets. The practice room was his safe haven, and if I was going to dig up dirt it would be from in here. I tapped my foot on the floor every couple of inches, looking for a loose panel. I felt along the walls for a bump or something strange. I had no idea what I was looking for, but something was telling me to come in here and find something.

I went to the mirrored wall, feeling along it. I yelped when it moved to the side. It opened a room that I didn't know existed. I walked inside, finding a small cubby with only a candle as light. All his CD's were here, along with pieces of paper. They were stacked in a box, and there was a multitude of pens scattered everywhere. These papers. They had to be what he was hiding. I knew he wasn't all that meets the eye. There was the mystery I'd been trying to figure out since I saw his smile.

I picked up one paper, and saw his writing on in.

Dear Himchan-hyung,

I'm sorry. I got scared again and snuck on your bunk. You're not mad at me are you? I got out before you woke, so hopefully you didn't notice. You just make me feel so safe, like nothing can ever touch me.

Like He can't touch me.

But I'm just so scared. So scared. Scared he's gonna find the dorm. Scared he's out of jail. Scared he'll find me. But when I'm with you, I don't worry about it. I can only think of you.

I never run out of thoughts to think of you.

One of these days I'm going to wake you up doing that, so I’ll do my best not to. Sorry.

I love you.

Jongup.

Jongup

I got to the practice room, and my eyes widened in fear. My door was open, and the candle light was shining in my view. And Himchan was in there. I dashed over there, scared he'd read one of my letters. My 317 letters, one for each day since debut. He saw me coming and hid it behind his back. I fell to the floor and sighed. “Those are personal...” I mumbled, biting my lip.

“Why didn't you ever tell me?” He whispered. “I'd help you through this.”

I just shook my head. “It's nothing.”

“Jongup-ah, come here.” He slid out of the cubby and pulled me into a hug. “I think about you a lot, too.”

I blushed and just returned the embrace. “You're so good to me, hyung.” It felt weird hugging myself, but I didn't care.

“That's because I love you, Jongup-ah.” He whispered. The words seemed to echo in my thoughts and I felt tears form. Those three words I'd been dying to hear him say. s

“I love you, too, hyung.” I let the tears fall and he just pulled me into a gentle kiss. I felt an extreme pain in my head, and suddenly, my face was dry. I pulled away and opened my eyes, gasping when I saw Himchan instead of myself. We were back to normal.

“I'm going to read them. Every last one.” Himchan pointed in my face. “And you're not going to write another.”

“B-But...” I tried to argue, but he simply leaned and placed another kiss on my lips. I moved mine against his softly, the tears now falling from the appropriate eyes. I felt like I was dreaming, living in the safe haven I wished for. He pulled away and leaned his forehead on mine.

“You can tell me anything, Jongup-ah, okay?” He rubbed my back. I nodded and tightly held onto him, feeling safer than I ever had in my lifetime.

THE END.

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