Bruised lips and messy hair decorated her face. All off the broken utensils were scattered on the floor. They were in fight again. She was actually tired fighting with him endlessly. Before, they only quarrelled verbally but today his man that once was so loving to her started to place his hand on her body. The word love seemed has faded from their dictionary. Her tears rolled upon her cheeks. 10 years of marriage seemed mean nothing to him. Victoria wiped off the tears and started to clean the mess. To her, crying can't solve anything. 

The house was clouded with silence. There was no noise from kids. Kids, the only thing that Kyuhyun demanded from her since last year. 10 years of marriage and no children made them drown in questions from everybody. From Kyuhyun's family, her family, SM family, s, her members and fans.  They have tried since the day they get married; to conceive a child but they failed. year after year until they celebrated their 10th anniversary. Everytime  they had meet-up with her members or his, she can saw that feelings from his eyes, that emptiness and his yearning and longing for a kid. She can't do anything. She had already given up of trying. 

F(x) was already disbanded as they agreed to concentrate on their personal matters. Super Junior is still standing handsomely eventhough they were not active as they used to be. All of the members are already settled down and started a family. She knew how empty Kyuhyun felt with only. One might said that marrying the woman of your life is enough but how much enough until the yearning come? 

Tonight, Kyuhyun asked her to join the meet up at Leeteuk's house. Super Junior, even though their era are already dimmed but their brotherhood still strong as ever. Laziness in her was started to rise. Another meet up meant another bucket of questions from members about them expanding their family. She knew that they are already tried hard enough to cover up from being rude but who doesn't want to see their maknae to be a father. She sighed and started to get ready

After she cleaned the kitchen, she slowly moved to the living hall. Their wedding pictures were still there, hanging on the wall. In the biggest pictures, he hugged her from the back. His fluffy hair seemed much fluffier than ever, his cheeks stands out as his pale skin looked so shining. On that day the pictures was taken, she felt that she is the happiest woman in the world. He is the one who choosed the wedding gown. She made him choose because she knew that his choice is the best and the only reason for her to wear the gown is for him and only him. To be pretty only in his eyes. In the second frame, both of them was photographed together with s. Dorky boys. The pictures is the most normal one with Heechul being himself and Siwon, the face of the group in his derp face. She was happy because not only him but all of s like and trusted her to take care their beloved maknae. Unconciously, tears started to fill up her eyes. She failed to take care of their maknae. She failed as a woman. 

Too much happy memories here. I don't deserve this. She weeped and turned away, walking lifelessly into their bedroom. Their love nest for 10 years. Everything seemed so messy. The frame that contain their picture during their Italy vacation is on the floor with the glass was shattered around. She was scared to admit that he already turn to a violent man. From fighting verbally, he started to throw tantrums by breaking things and throw everything around them. Today, he slapped her as she was talking back to him. Love was already vanished from us. 

She was again cleaned up the room. They gave up on maid way before they planned to get married. He said that maid will just annoy them later. Everything was beautiful when they are still in love. She looked around the room. All the furniture and interior design was choosen and done by her personally. She blended the design, being inspired from her culture and his culture. All of these were beautiful before. 

Suddenly, she saw an envelope under her pillow. A brown envelope with no name and address on it. She opened it slowly, being afraid that what she had in her mind will actually happened. The divorce form with his signature already there. She felt that the earth stopped moving and her heartbeat stopped pounding. The last thing that she ever think about happened. Where is his promises to grow old together, to be forever in love, to stay side by side. No tears rolling down her cheeks. They are already dried. She were tired of crying and trying save the marriage. 

Maybe this is the best for you and for me. She signed the form and put the paper on the bed before pulling her luggage out from the home. Her hand clenched the passport and ticket to Beijing tightly. 

Goodbye, my love Kyuhyun. Thanks  for being in love with me for 17 years. Till the end, thank you and I love you. 

-Song Qian-