Um… This is not my fic, my friend made it..

Her name was Dhanisa…

So... if you want to Thanks, thanks to her... Not me...^^

Pai….

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Feel Your Presence

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"Saengil chukahae, chagiya ... Wish you all the best ... Saranghae ..." whispered a gentle voice sounded faint in my ears. I knew he would never be by my side again. However, one thing that I know, even though his body was not there at my side, I can still feel his presence around me. Heart. Thoughts. My mind, my heart capable of feeling.

I closed my eyes, letting the water drip on the lids dammed and flooded my eyes to get out of my face that was not clear shape apparently. I do not know what happened to me after the incident, after my Namja was left the world that I think is so dark without him. I don’t know, a lot of people say I'm crazy, insane, or whatever. But I don’t care at all.

Kim Joonmyeon.

He is. That Namja. The Namja made me almost crazy when love, and makes me really mad when I have to let go. Makes me seemed no longer able to feel the joy of the air as if it's discovered he was no longer with me. Go to a place that cannot be reached as long as I can still breathe.

I opened my eyes, then grabbed a calendar sitting on my bedside table. Monday, January 9, 2012. The date was supposed to be a happy date for me. Today exactly 20 years where I tread the earth. But now, everything has changed. January 9, happiness is no longer on the carrier. But the most heartbreaking date will not be replaced in my life. Nae Joonmyeon, also died on the same date.

"Ne, chagiya ... Gomawo ... Nado saranghaeyo ..." I whispered softly, whisper reply from intoxicating voice he had, the sound that has become addictive for me to hear.

I held my head, inhale as much as possible, then throw it in a snap. I looked toward to my ugly door this . At first glance, my eye caught a flash of white light falls on it, and then transformed into a figure of Namja with beautiful smile that could melt the entire north polar ice. Instantly my heart warmed. I already know, I've known him, even know him. He is. Kim Joonmyeon. Nae chagiya. Nae Namja. Nae Joonmyeonnie oppa.

He was closer to me, my cheek gently, making it instantly deploy a flush. I smiled faintly, in the beating heart that is not controlled. I looked into his eyes, which is also exactly meet my eye. The views we met.

"Yongjae-ah ..." he called softly. I smiled, then nodded slowly.

"Ne, Joonmyeonnie oppa ..." I said quietly replied. He cupped my face in his hands a warm and full of tenderness.

"I want to ask you one thing, may I?" He asked in a soft voice.

"Of course, oppa ..." I make his smile broadly. Aigo ... smile ... His smile that was missed.

"Forget about me, chagiya ..." he said, staring in my eyes. I flinched. Forget it is the most impossible thing in the history of my life.

"Wa-waeyo, oppa" I said a little stumbling ask for an explanation. My eyes filled with tears again.

"Your life is long, chagiya ... I do not want you to ever collapsed because of my absence.  Many Namja out there who are better than me. Seek happiness in between it. I'm sure you'll find it there. I'm not destined for you. Therefore, forget about me ... "he said softly. I began to sob. I tried to catch him, but cant. I cannot reach it. In fact, I cannot touch it. Only he can touch me, but I cannot touch it.

"I can find happiness with other Namja like accord but forget you is impossible to do, oppa. Even now I still love you so much. I could try to love someone else but you will still be first in my heart, oppa. I can love someone else but I'll never be able to forget everything you've gone through with you, all of you, oppa ... "I explained with sobbed. He looked at me blankly. I could see a drop of clear crystal on the corner of his eye. He was cry.

"Why," he asked with a hoarse voice trembling slightly. I breathed slowly, then exhale slowly.

"Because you're the first person who made me feel something called love ..."

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3 years later, January 9th 2015 ...

I noticed my reflection in the mirror. Slowly, a smile formed on my lips. My body was wrapped in broken white colored dress made of satin long sleeved Paris with a design that looks complicated with 2-meter long tail. At the head is attached a head piece of white jasmine flower arrangements. My brown hair flowing freely on my shoulder and in my face polished thin make-up that left the impression of natural. Suddenly, my door is open, showing the silhouette of a yeoja who was shorter than me. She is Jung Sangwook, who is my cousin and Yeojachingu of Joonmyeonnie's oppa brother, Kim Jongin.

"Eonnie, hurry up. You've yeppeo, really. Kris oppa is waiting ... "she said, pointing towards the hall behind it. I smiled at her, then started to move out of my room already decorated with all-white color.

"Ne, Sangwookie ... Kajja" I called as she walked ahead.

Today will be a historic day for me. Today is my birthday as well as the day that I took off my single relationship from my life with a Chinese Namja called Wu Yi Fan, or commonly called Kris. Yes, he was my second happiness, after Joonmyeonnie oppa.

[Skip]

I walked down the altar accompanied by my appa, Jung Yunho. Sangwook follow behind because she was tasked to hold my tail dress. My happiness  smile spread on all the invited guests were present at the family's private hall. I looked into the altar in front of me, and caught a handsome Namja-even very handsome- tall suited with a white tuxedo and he was smiling at me. It is twinkle of happiness in his eyes. He's the one that will soon be my namja, replacing Joonmyeonnie oppa. Wu Yi Fan or Kris.

I slowly climbed the altar, assisted by Kris oppa who held my hand gently. At the altar of that, we tied the knot as lively as dead, with a marriage. We vow that will not and should not be denied.

"Well, you two can kiss." Said the pastor who led our marriage. Our face was met. We smiled at each other. A second later, Kris oppa pulled me into his arms and kissed my lips softly. I kissed him, and then we release our lips. Applause echoed from every corner of the hall. I looked in the direction of the invited guests who attended filled the hall. However, my view is centered on the 'someone' who sit on the end seat. 'Someone' is different from the others. 'Someone' is formed from a beautiful white light. Yes, he is Joonmyeonnie oppa. He smiled proudly at me, and then his figure slowly disappeared from sight, as if windswept seasons  is so soothing.

Suddenly, a cold wind blows gently touching my neck, making it a little shiver. Then, my ears heard the faint whisper of the voice I miss. Sounds like Joonmyeonnie oppa.

"You did it, Yongjae-ah. You've found your true happiness. Chukkahae, chagi. I'm proud of you. Saranghaeyo ... "I closed my eyes to hear, let me answer that question.

"Ne, Joonmyeonnie oppa. Jeongmal Gomawo for everything. Nado saranghaeyo ... "

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I know I'll never see you again, but I know that you're always there for me, whenever and wherever I am. I know I'll never be able to see your love again, but I know you will still love me and remember my love, as well as also I will never be able to forget my love I gave to you and love you've given me. Because I know, I can feel your presence. Thank you for all you've given, Joonmyeonnie oppa ... Saranghae, yeongwonhi ...

-Jung Yongjae-

-End-