Idol(s): Park Chan Yeol (EXO)

Genre: Drama, Romance

The following story is a standalone one shot (split in half because of its length, so really a two shot) from the My Puppy Park Chan Yeol universe. You do NOT have to read that story to understand this one. It is the ending I planned for my first fanfiction I discontinued almost three years ago. I had somewhat of a draft of it, but in order to make it a standalone, I had to take out a lot of references to the main story and insert some background information so the premise made sense. It’s also been a while since I’ve written anything related to My Puppy Park Chan Yeol, so I’m not sure if I stayed true to the characters’ personalities. But feel free to give me any feedback you have.

Inspiration: I haven’t written for months and I wanted to slowly ease my way back with something short, so I checked out the First Frost Writing Challenge by Korekrypta. My inspiration comes from an image prompt (below). This is NOT an entry though.

Dedication: I’ve never done this before, but I would like to dedicate the following to yeolliepopyeol, who’s remained a loyal fan of My Puppy Park Chan Yeol to this day. Check out Girl x Friend, the one shot she’s dedicated to me!

Synopsis: Newlyweds Lee Ri Ah and Park Chan Yeol are about to face their first big hurdle as a married couple – a long distance relationship. But Ri Ah’s separation anxiety has her reconsidering choosing her dream over her husband.

Individaul Story Link: Miles

Posted: 10 January 2017, 20:00 EDT

Word Count: 3,711

~//~

Fifty-six days. Eight weeks. Not even two months. That’s how long I’ve been married to Park Chan Yeol. Yet in less than 11 hours, not even half a day, I am going to embark on a plane that will take me eight thousand, eight hundred seventy miles away from him for four years.

I must be out of my mind.

So what reason could I possibly have to leave my wonderful new husband? My mind is in a haze trying to remember as I stand before my bed, stuffing a Ziploc bag into my suitcase. Oh right, I want to become a doctor, and I’m off to England, where I’ll be attending medical school at King’s College London. It’s been a dream of mine since my sophomore year of college when I studied abroad there. But now that my dream is becoming a reality, I’m starting to wonder if it’s worth what, or rather who, I’ll be leaving behind to pursue it.

I grab my suitcase top and try to shut my overfilled bag. It resists, even as I press my full weight into my palms.

“Having trouble?” I turn my head to see Chan Yeol leaning against our bedroom doorway. A lop-sided smile graces his lips.

He closes the distance in four steps and assesses the situation. His eye catches something and he reaches in to pick up the Ziploc bag I’ve just packed. Inside is a folded gray t-shirt.

“Is this my shirt that I sleep in?” he asks with a quirk of his brow. “The one I asked you earlier if you’d seen?”

Guiltily I avoid eye contact. “Yes.”

Chan Yeol nods with brows furrowed like he’s thinking hard about something. Suddenly the up-and-down motion turns to a side-to-side one. “Nope, I have no clue why you would steal my shirt, seal it in a plastic bag, and put it in your suitcase.”

I feel my ears burning as I stutter, trying to come up with a lie. I can’t. I sigh, resigned. “I wanted something of yours to sleep in when I go to London, and I put it in a plastic bag to keep your smell.”

Chan Yeol doesn’t say anything. With a ghost of a smile, he puts the shirt back in my luggage, uses some elbow grease to shut the suitcase, and zips it up. Then he pulls the bag off the bed and places it next to my second one by the door.

“Well,” he says enthusiastically. He turns around with a big grin on his face. “It looks like you’re all packed and ready to go! Good thing, because you really need to get to sleep so you can be up bright and early for your flight tomorrow.”

I force a smile. “Yeah, I guess I should.” I walk around to the other side of the bed and slip my legs under the covers. I don’t lie down, but sit against the headboard, kneading my hands above the comforter and staring at the large framed photo of us from our wedding on the wall in front of me. How I wish I could rewind back to that moment two months ago – the happiest moment of my life.

Meanwhile, Chan Yeol has scooted under the covers next to me. He takes both my wrestling hands in his. “Are you nervous about the plane trip?”

I pick up my head and look into his big, brown, worried eyes. I don’t like worrying him. It makes my heart ache to see him with anything but his trademark toothy grin. “No…”

“Then?”

“I…I just…I just don’t know if this is the right thing for me,” I finally blurt out. I release his hands and draw my legs into my arms. Chan Yeol is quiet as he waits for me to continue. I retire to my thoughts for a drawn moment and watch our history unfold in my mind.

Chan Yeol and I have known each other since we were toddlers. Our fathers were best friends in high school and they kept in touch even after they went their different ways in life. Our families would have get-togethers every few years or so. But it wasn’t until we started college that Chan Yeol and I truly became acquainted with one another. How could we not when we lived together?

Yes, that’s right. Chan Yeol and I were sleeping under the same roof long before we’d even started dating. When Mr. Park, Chan Yeol’s father, found out I would be attending the same college in Seoul as his son, he graciously offered me a room in his house, free of charge. He wouldn’t hear of his best friend’s daughter paying to live with him.

Adjusting to college was bad enough without the transition from my small town by the sea to the biggest city in the country, and it was all thanks to Chan Yeol that I survived. The years passed, we grew closer, and a few misunderstandings and missed opportunities later, we finally started dating in our final year of college and got married after graduation. We’ve continued living with his parents, though now we share a room, because it didn’t make sense to find an apartment on our own when we’d only be living in it for the summer before I started medical school, not that I mind living with my in-laws. They’re wonderful people.

“Four years,” I voice aloud. Chan Yeol and I may not have been romantically involved for that long, but that is how long we’ve spent together getting through college, and now we are going to spend as much time apart so that I can live out some fantastical notion of studying medicine in London. I turn to him and worriedly ask, “Don’t you think that’s too long to be apart?”

“Obviously it’s not ideal,” he sympathizes, “but this is your dream. You’re going to one of the best medical schools in the world. Millions of people would kill for the opportunity you have.” He reaches for my hand again and squeezes it. “And besides, it’s not like we’ll never see each other during those four years. There’ll be summer and winter breaks that we’ll spend together here in Korea with our friends and family, or over there in London.”

“But it’s just not enough,” I retort, almost in tears. I close my eyes and breathe deeply to try and calm myself. I’m not very successful. My lips quiver as I softly speak. “This would be so much easier if you could come with me.”

Chan Yeol wipes away the drop of water that’s escaped my eye line. “I agree. It would be easier.”

We descend into silence once more. This is a topic we’ve talked about to great lengths in the months leading up to this moment, and I already know I can’t have my dream and spend my first few years of married life with Chan Yeol by making him move with me. He has his own goals to achieve – directing. He was still in his final semester of college when he was approached by multiple production companies for internships. Like he’s just said to me, millions of people would kill for the opportunities he’s been given.

So after many nights of long and difficult discussions, we came to the agreement that if one chased after their aspirations, the other should too. I would have been okay with going to a medical school here in Seoul – more than okay in fact because I’d been accepted to two of the top three most prestigious ones in the country. But Chan Yeol threatened to decline every one of his internship offers if I gave up on London. He actually called up one company then and there and told them he wasn’t interested to drive the point home. I worry sometimes about how stubborn he can be.

Although, if I’m being honest, his obstinacy is one of the things I love about him. I once asked him to pay for my textbooks, not because I didn’t have the money, but because online shopping requires a credit card and I didn’t have one at the time. I wanted to pay him back immediately in cash, but he refused to take my money. Instead, Chan Yeol insisted I repay him in favors, like saving him a seat in class, waking him up in time, cooking for him, or entertaining him when he was bored. I though his requests were odd at the time, but I never considered that he might have been trying to create more chances to spend time with me because he liked me as more than a friend. You see, Chan Yeol has always been an outgoing, amicable person who makes everyone around him feel special – I mentioned the misunderstandings, right?

But as much time as we’ve spent together and as close as we are now, I can’t help but worry that the long distance will take its toll on our relationship. I feel as if it already has taken its toll. My anxiety about our separation has grown each day my departure draws nearer, yet Chan Yeol hardly seems to share in even half my unease. Is he looking forward to my leaving? Two months as husband and wife, and he’s already tired of me?

I break down in tears.

“Ri Ah,” Chan Yeol desperately calls, “what’s wrong?”

“I’m scared,” I answer between sobs. “I’m scared that I’m going to lose you, that maybe…I’m already losing you.”

“What are you talking about? You haven’t lost me and you’re not going to lose me.”

I shake my head refusing to hear his reassuring words. I don’t believe him. “Then why are you so calm about me getting on a plane and leaving when I’ve been at my wits end thinking about it?”

Chan Yeol lets out a slow breath and brings my hand that he’s been holding closer to him. He examines it as he rubs the knuckle housing my wedding band, the same as the one on his own hand. “Do you remember our vows?”

“How could I not? It was only two months ago.”

He stops massaging my hand and gives me a hard, serious look. “But it seems you have forgotten or you would know you could never lose me because we promised to be with each other ‘till death do us part’.”

I’m not completely mollified by this. I am well aware that divorce has become more common among our generation and though I’m appalled I’m even thinking about it ever being the course of action for us, the chances are strong considering our situation. I believe Chan Yeol wholeheartedly loves me now, but even he must have a limit to his devotion, a limit that will be gruesomely tested when we’re miles apart for months at a time.

Chan Yeol senses my lack of confidence. He tips my chin up to meet his steadfast gaze. “I’ve always tried to be a good person, Ri Ah, and after meeting you, I tried even harder to be an even better person. But when I proposed to you, there were selfish reasons involved. I knew I couldn’t hold you back from London. I could never live with myself if I did, and you wouldn’t be at fault if you grew to resent me for it one day too.

“But I love you too much to let you go to another country alone for even a day and risk some other guy whisking you off your feet.” He brings up my left hand. The dim light provided by the lamp on my side of the bed creates a white glow on the gold around my ring finger. “This was my way of coping with the possibility of losing you. I selfishly tied you down to me so that no matter how many miles apart we are, the world will know you’re already taken.”

I gulp to wet my parched mouth as I take in his words. He calls it selfish. I call it protective.

Chan Yeol’s hands find their way to my cheeks and soothe them with a gentle circular motion by his thumbs. “Believe me, I’m a mess on the inside too. If I seem calm, it’s because I’m trying so hard to be that better man you deserve. Would me throwing a tantrum help you?”

I almost answer yes, but Chan Yeol continues before I can open my mouth.

“No, it wouldn’t.” He smiles. “Though that is something the old me would have done. In fact I almost did the first time you went to England for study abroad.”

I let out a small laugh picturing him on the floor, pouting and stomping his legs. He was right, it was easy to imagine the Chan Yeol of two years ago doing just that. He’s matured so much since then.

Chan Yeol turns serious once more. “I know I’m no expert on marriage, but I do believe that part of what makes a successful one is becoming an emotional rock for the other when they’re down or upset. I want to show you that you can lean on me when you’re having a rough time, just as I’ve depended on you when I was at a low in the past. You know I wouldn’t even have thought of majoring in film if you hadn’t suggested it. I would have continued struggling through college, taking classes that didn’t interest me, and possibly even dropping out altogether. I am where I am today because of you.”

“I think you give me too much credit,” I respond. I merely suggested he take a class he hadn’t considered before.

Chan Yeol shakes his head. “I don’t give you enough. And I hope that,” he hesitates, “I can continue to lean on you.”

I half-smile and wrap my fingers around his to press them closer to my face. “Of course you can.”

Chan Yeol was never one to stay sad for long. He immediately grins, says, “Good,” and places a big kiss on my lips that pushes me onto the bed with him. We both break out in laughter.

Chan Yeol still hovers over me when our laughs subside. He has a contemplative, deep look in his eyes. “I’m a lot heavier than you. You think you’ll be able to support me?”

I know he isn’t being literal. He believes himself the more liable one and he’s worried that I may not be able to handle the pressure of whatever hardships and difficulties that might arise because of him. It pains me to see him so unsure about me. Is this how I’ve made him feel these past two months whenever I zone out in my thoughts, afraid of what the future will hold when I should have trusted Chan Yeol from the beginning and simply enjoyed the present?

“I’m sorry,” I say, placing a hand on his cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

His brows wrinkle in confusion and in his eyes I see panic. “Why are you sorry?”

“I haven’t been the best wife for the past two months. I’ve been so caught up in worrying about losing you that I ended up neglecting your feelings. I will always be there for you, no matter what. You didn’t have to put a ring on my finger for that.” I chuckle softly. “Though I’m glad you did. And I wish I could have shown you that with actions rather than words. I guess I blew our first two months.”

Relief softens Chan Yeol’s features. Only now I realize that he must have thought I was going to reject him. I mentally berate myself for that. My innocent husband can be quick to jump to conclusions sometimes.

“Well, now that you mention it,” he pouts, “I guess I have been feeling a little neglected.” He leans forward and nuzzles my neck. I giggle at the ticklish feeling. “But you’ll make it up to me, right?”

“Can I take a rain check on that? I don’t think I have enough time before I leave.” Two months was too much to try and pack into one night.

Chan Yeol laughs. His breath on my skin causes a chill to run up and down my spine. “Okay but don’t think I won’t remember that you owe me.” He then kisses me sweetly on the lips. Just as he’s about to pull away, my hands wrap around his neck to hold him to me. He doesn’t resist and deepens the kiss.

With a moan, he pulls away some minutes later. His eyes are bright with energy and he breathes with fast, shallow breaths. “You know I don’t mind where this is going, but you need to get up early in the morning. Shouldn’t you get some sleep?”

I tug him back to me and whisper against his lips. “I can sleep on the plane.”

And that is all the persuasion Chan Yeol needs.

***

I am very tired the next morning as I get ready. There are bags under my eyes but I’m too exhausted to bother covering it up with makeup. I’m hoping they’ll go away when I catch some sleep on the plane.

I’m not able to eat much, a few bites of rice that Mrs. Park has prepared, and a bite of each side dish that Chan Yeol forces me to eat. His parents don’t speak much, just sadly smile my way every so often. I will miss them terribly. But Chan Yeol fills the silence at the table with chatter. I don’t know how he can be so chipper this morning.

While Chan Yeol packs the car, I say my goodbyes to my in-laws and our cat, Seol, who doesn’t seem to even realize what is going on as she goes about her usual day lazing on the couch. I don’t want any of my friends and family to see me off at the airport because I know I will start crying if they do, and I’ve repeatedly promised Chan Yeol I will not cry the day I leave. That is why I made my valedictions to them the day before. Only Chan Yeol will be accompanying me.

A morning radio show plays in the background of the car ride. A cheery male voice relays the weather forecast and attempts to liven listeners’ days with jokes and words of encouragement. They don’t work on me, but Chan Yeol lets out a chuckle every now and then.

When we arrive at the terminal, my husband takes over the process of checking me and my bags in. While I’m fully capable of doing so by myself, I want to savor the feeling of being taken care of by him one last time.

We sit side by side at a corner table in a coffee shop as we wait for my flight’s boarding time. Chan Yeol drinks coffee while I sip some calming tea for my nerves. He brings an arm around me and I instinctively move closer to place my head on his broad shoulder. I shut my eyes for a brief moment.

“Ri Ah,” Chan Yeol whispers. I stir, vaguely aware of my surroundings. “Ri Ah,” he says again a little louder.

I finally open my eyes and look around. It takes a few seconds for me to remember I’m at the airport. “What’s going on?” I groggily ask.

“It’s time for you to make your way to your gate,” Chan Yeol answers.

“What? Already? But I just closed my eyes a minute ago,” I say in alarm. I wasted our last hour together.

He laughs softly and helps me up to a stand, then gathers my carry-on bag in one hand and holds his other out to me with an encouraging smile. I take it and let him lead me towards security.

Just outside the cutoff point for non-ticket holders, Chan Yeol stops in his tracks and steers me around to face him. My heart pounds. I’m not ready to go yet.

“You have everything, right? Your ticket? Passport? Bag?”

I nod.

“Good. Then it looks like you’re all set.” Chan Yeol draws me into his arms for one last embrace.

I bury my face in his chest. People bustle past us. Their chatter, the sound of luggage wheels on the tiled floor, and the sporadic PA announcements fill the large, open space. But I’m in a muted bubble as I hold him, wishing I could rewind back the hour I lost napping.

“Ri Ah, it’s time to go,” Chan Yeol reminds me. He doesn’t push me away, but his arms around me loosen slightly. I am steadfast in my grip on him. With a sigh, he tightens his arms again and rocks me gently back and forth. “You know we’ll see each other again soon,” he tries to reason.

“But not soon enough. Winter break is four months away.”

Chan Yeol just smiles, leans down to press his lips briefly against mine, and murmur soothingly, “It’ll pass by quicker than you think. I promise.” I don’t know how he’s able to remain so positive, but then again, his nickname isn’t Happy Virus for nothing. “Now I’m not trying to get rid of you,” he says more sternly, “but you really do have to go or you’ll miss your flight.”

I see the large time board of departures and arrivals behind him and know he’s right. With one last kiss for good luck, I finally pull away.

“Have a safe flight and call me when you land,” he says as I pick up my carry-on.

“I will.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I leave with his voice echoing those words through my head.

At the security gates, I show an airport personnel my ticket and he waves me past him to go through the metal detector. Before I do, I look behind my shoulder once more. Chan Yeol is still standing where I left him, watching me. When our eyes meet, he grins widely, gives me a thumbs up, and mouths, “Good luck”. I return a smile, mouth back “Thank you”, and wave goodbye. I turn back around and see him no more.

~//~

Author's Note