i hadn't known him for very long. i didn't know him at all.

i did know that i liked him. i didn't know why i just did.
but i’d be damned before he ever found out

we had nothing in common
no mutual friends
listened to different bands
watched different kinds of movies

he was the new kid.
i was the ghost.
he preferred writing on paper.
i preferred writing on desks.
he preferred sitting in the library.
i preferred getting into fights.

we were completely different.
we were exactly the same.

he stressed over being the best  
i stressed over being the worst.

he was looking for an escape
i had found one

we’d catch each other’s gazes in the hallway every now and then.
i’d be the first to look away. sometimes he would.
there were times when neither of us would.

he tried talking to me once
it didnt end well
but that didnt stop him

im minho he greeted
im leaving i replied

i found it annoying at first
then i realized i didnt

rumor has it you like to dance he said as he sat next to me durning lunch
dont believe everything you hear i lied

i did everything i could to keep him away
he just wouldnt listen

meet me behind the school later i smirked
okay he agreed

he showed up. i kicked his .

one night we bumped into each other.
after walking in silence for a while he later confessed he had followed me.
curiosity had gotten the better of him.

so there we were. 2 in the morning at the park down the street from where we lived.
did i mention he was my neighbor?

couldn't sleep  he claimed.
i nodded letting him know i was struggling with the same thing.
 

i reached into my pocket and pulled out a cigarette.
he reached into his and pulled out a lighter.
i sat on a cold bench under a lamp post and lit it, inhaling deeply.
he sat beside me, taking the light cancer stick and did the same.
 

i didn't know you smoked.
theres a lot you don't know about me. he grins.

i could tell his bruises were still fresh
but he didnt mention them or ask why.
he already knew i had trust issues.

trust me he challenged

i smiled and watched as he exhaled the white puff of smoke into the dark sky.

alright  

so it became a routine
strangers at school
bestfriends at the park

i would reach into my pocket for a cigarette.
he would reach into his for a lighter.
and we’d sit under a lamp post at 2 in the morning inhaling nicotine until it was gone

until one night
i was caught off guard.
a pair of soft warm lips suddenly pressed to mine.
i didnt pull away.
i closed my eyes and kiss back.

he was shy when we finally parted.
What was that for?
i dont know he shrugged pulling away and taking another long smooth drag. felt right.
i smiled

soon we’re doing a lot of things that feel right.
we stopped caring about what others thought.
his sweater vests and pressed pants turned into leather jackets and ripped jeans
my failing grades and detention slips faded into a+’s and no more staying after school.

he lost friends. i gained some.
he changed. i did too.

i can’t remember who’s idea it was
maybe it was mine, maybe it was his
but it became part of our routine
after our late night cigarette we’re back in his room.
the lights are off and everyone’s asleep.
if we’re quiet enough we can hear even the house breathe.

hes under the sheets
im under him

thats where i want to stay

i try to keep my mind focused
but all i
see (beauty)
hear (grunts)
smell (sweat)
taste (nicotine)
feel (skin)
is him.

m-minho i coo quietly
taemin he replies in a low voice

i melt.

i love you he whispers
i bury my face in his neck i love you too i reply

malkom’s note
…idk.