I sometimes walk and stop

I look around and our eyes meet

I quickly turn my head away

I look at my toes and

then slowly look up

My eyes that get larger

My lips that open up slightly

My heart rings in my ears

60 seconds is all I need for this story

-

"Aren't you even going to stop me? "

"What's the point?"

"Is this all our relationship was worth?"

"You can think whatever you want."

"Even till the last moments. The last moments of this relationship. You're still like this?"

"You never tell me what you want from me. How would I know?"

"Your freaking attitude! I thought I was different from everybody else- that you would treat me differently. I guess I was wrong."

"I repeat - You can think whatever you want."

"Am I not worth it? Not worth any sort of affection from you?"

"I have never needed to change myself for another person."

"So- I'm just like any other person you meet on the street - insignificant?"

"Do you realize that you're just twisting my words and coming up with your own theories?"

"Then tell me I'm wrong! Tell me you look at me differently - Tell me I actually mean something to you - in your heart."

"I can't say that."

"Why not? Why?"

"I can't."

"Why can't you? When I tell you I love you every single day? It's not hard, those three words."

"You don't understand."

"What don't I not understand? What?"

-

"So now you're keeping silent."

"What do you want me to say?"

"You know what? Forget it."

-

"Bye."

-

Three words aren't enough for me to express the amount of love I have in my heart - words aren't enough for me to show you how much I love you, why can't you understand?

I can only let you go- to find someone better.

Someone who would treasure you and treat you the way you should be treated, someone who would shower you with loving words everyday and make you feel loved.

I'm sorry for not being able to do that.

-

"Are you happy?"

-

"I-"

"Isn't it basic matters to greet someone first before asking questions?"

"Sorry. How have you been?"

"You actually listened."

"You look prettier."

"Oh- Was that supposed to be a snide remark?"

"No- I meant it. Now can you answer my question?"

"What answer do you want?"

"What?"

"Do you want me to tell you that I've been suffering and miss you and will you come back to me? I'll not make the same mistake again."

"I just want to know. Are you happy?"

"Yes I am. I am. I miss you- I miss us- but, I'm happy. I no longer have to cry at nights- have to sleep in a big bed, waiting for the space next to me to be filled."

-

"Don't worry. I haven't found someone to replace you. Laugh all you want, but no one else will be able to take your place in my heart."

"I'm sorry."

-

-

"Are you apologizing to me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I just felt I should."

"Let-Let's be strangers. If we meet on the streets again- let's pretend we don't know each other. It will help me forget you. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Goodbye."

-

Did you see the tears b in my eyes?

As I said it was okay to forget me.

No. It's not okay. I don't want you to forget me.

I couldn't say goodbye - I didn't want to bid farewell to you.

But nothing matters because- you look happier.

You look good. I'm relieved. I remember how you looked like the first time you left - you were a wreck.

You lost so much weight that I couldn't recognize you without your chubby cheeks anymore, couldn't recognize those dull eyes, couldn't recognize your cracked voice as you called my name.

Sorry- Sorry for still giving you bad memories. Sorry- for all the times you cried because of me.

Sorry- for going home late everyday - for always letting you return to an empty house- a empty bed -no warmth.

But. Nothing else matters - because you look happier.

Thank you for that. Thank you. For living well.

-

You came into my heart

I don’t doubt it

That you took me away

The time that wasn’t short

You’re that kind of person

A story that’s enough for me

I don’t need any reasons

You made my heart flutter and look for you

That first time

Your voice breaks off

Your tears that slowly build up

and fall over

I hold you with my chest

and stay there for a long time

then slowly push you away

My empty eyes

My two lips that are at a loss for words

My heart stops at your sigh

60 seconds is all I need for this story

-

"Why- Why did you accept my love in the first place?"

-

"Why- if you don't love me back?"

"I never said I did not love you back."

"But you never said you did!"

-

"Do you even have a heart?"

"If I didn't I wouldn't be living now."

"Don't act all smart on me! Are you happy? Looking at me like this, a total mess - unable to control my tears- are you happy?"

"No."

"That's all? No?"

"What can I do."

"You can tell me you want me back, that's what you can do! You can tell me you love me-"

"No."

-

-

"I hate you, do you know that? I hate you."

"No you don't. If you did, you wouldn't come back."

"Why are you doing this to me? Why can't I let you go?"

-

"Can't you at least hug me? Can't you see my shoulders are trembling?"

-

"Do you know how much I love being in your arms? I missed you -"

-

"I missed you, I missed you, I missed you..."

-

"Can we go back to how we were before? I'm sorry- Sorry for leaving you, can you take me back?"

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I- know, but I left, I'm sorry, take me back?"

"You can do whatever you want."

-

-

"Is it even that hard to hug me for just a longer amount of time? Am I that revolting, that disgusting?"

"No. It's just- not comfortable."

"Why? Because you have to hug someone you don't love?"

-

"Sorry- I- I shouldn't have raised my voice. I'm sorry, can we go sleep now? I'm tired- I couldn't sleep without you by my side.

-

Why do you constantly apologize, when it's clearly my fault?

The first time you left - I broke down, I lost myself- I couldn't live.

When you came back, I was so so relieved - but you couldn't stop crying.

You were trembling - in pain, because of me.

And that was when I woke up - I would always put you in pain, and I hate it- I hate myself.

No one was supposed to let you feel pain, especially me.

Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry

Why did you come back? You knew I would hurt you once again, so why did you come back into my arms?

I'm not good enough for you.

I'm a monster - a cold, heartless monster, who found love but is unable to express it.

A monster who is not worthy of you, A monster who is not worthy of any form of forgiveness.

-             

You disappeared from my life

I didn’t hold you back

The time that wasn’t short

You’re that kind of person

A story that’s enough for me

I don’t need any reasons

You clearly sent it

You said you were hurting

and I let you go

Our last time

-

"I'm in pain, don't you understand?"

"You're not bleeding."

"I'm hurt- inside, everywhere, and do you know why? It's because of you!"

"I already explained myself. So there's no reason to be hurt."

-

"You can leave if you want to, I'm not stopping you."

"Are you indirectly breaking up with me?"

"When did I say that. You're the one who wants to leave."

"So you're supposed to stop me!"

-

-

"How am I supposed to know what you want?"

"Fine, it's my fault, I'm sorry, happy now?"

"Why should I be happy you apologized."

-

-

"Sometimes I really wonder how I was able to put up with you all this while."

-

"I don't need you at all, I don't. Do you know that?"

-

I know you said those words in a moment of rage - but it still hurt.

I needed you.

And I still need you.

But maybe it's better this way, knowing that you can live without me.

Then I would not have to worry about you.

I'm sure even if you don't find someone else to replace me, Dongwoo Hyung and Woohyun Hyung will keep you company.

They hate my anyway -

well Dongwoo Hyung is just disappointed in me.

Woohyun Hyung on the other hand - he is the only one among us who understands me.

He is the only one when everyone is consoling Sungyeol - comes to find me and ask me if I'm okay.

I don't deserve it - not even Woohyun Hyung's care.

I'm just happy someone actually understands.

Maybe it's because it took him a long time to admit to his feelings for Sunggyu Hyung.

He had to break past his insecurities and come into terms with the fact that he loved Sunggyu Hyung - luckily he managed to do that before fully breaking Sunggyu Hyung's heart.

Maybe that's why he understands.

I'm grateful - that he understands - that he is the only person besides Sungyeol to make me feel like I actually exist.

He acknowledges my existence.

-

My two stories

My hot and cold times

They’re both memories that you gave to me

The same times, but with different sides of you

My double-edged memories

60 seconds is all I need for this story

-

"Why do you like this place so much?"

"It's quiet."

"That's all?"

"And- the scenery is beautiful."

"So- Can I say that it is a very special occasion - and that I'm special to you because you brought me to your special hideout?"

"I don't know but you're the only person I ever brought here."

"So that means I'm special, right right?"

"You can think that way if you want."

"I love you."

-

"Aren't you going to tell me you love me too?"

"Love carries responsibility."

-

"And I'm not sure I can take care of you."

"You don't need to take care of me, I'm not a child! Love- is when you care about someone and they are really special to you. So, do you love me?"

"I-"

"It's not that hard, it's just three words."

"I- I can't say it. But - I know that you are important to me."

-

-

"Thank you. This is why I never regret being with you."

"Why?"

"Because even though you're not good at expressing you feelings, I know deep down inside you love me as well."

"Will you continue to think this way forever?"

"I'll wait for you, even if it takes forever."

"Forever is a long time."

"I'm willing to wait. Because I love you."

"Is love that powerful?"

"Yes it is."

-

I knew back then when you made this promise - you will be unable to keep it.

Forever is too long - And I don't think I'll ever be able to break through these walls.

I really wished I could tell you those three words.

I really wish you could read my heart.

I really wish you knew -

-

You came into my heart

I don’t doubt it

That you took me away

The time that wasn’t short

You’re that kind of person

A story that’s enough for me

You disappeared from my life

I didn’t hold you back

The short amount of time

that I saw your heart

-

I know that no amount of words can make you forgive me.

I know that the amount of pain I gave you can never be forgiven.

I don't need your forgiveness - because I can never forgive myself for what I have done.

This is the only way I can express my love - and you'll always end up getting hurt, so please don't come back.

This is my punishment -

Lee Sungyeol I love you

But

Please

Hate me

___________________