It was already past midnight and Yoona laid wide awake on her bed, staring into the ceiling. Somehow she was not used to the comfortable bed anymore. Back in her boarding school, she had slept on bunk beds, and she always got the bottom bunk. Not a very scenic view. The pillow there was hard and the sheets reeked of sweat no matter how many times she sent them for cleaning, not to mention the lumpy mattress she had to endure.

Yoona got up and walked over to the window. It was quiet, dark and cold out there. The midnight moon shone brightly, lighting up the fields with its glow. She opened the window and decided it was a bad idea as a cold gush of wind blew past her. She grabbed her blanket and wrapped it around herself before going to the balcony. The wool protected her from the chilly temperature as she leaned on the railing and took in the moonlight view. Back in her school in Japan, there wasn’t much of a view she could see, considering her school was smacked right into the heart of the city. So this view, to her, was beautiful.

She decided to take a walk. She grabbed her jacket and was walking down the stairs when she heard utensils clanging in the kitchen.

“Yuri! What are you doing up so late?”

“Ma’am. I was just preparing food to bring along to the funeral tomorrow. I prepared your share too.”

“I said I’m not going, Yuri. Let’s drop it at that alright?”

Yoona walked over and sat on the kitchen stool facing Yuri as the latter continued her cooking.

“Why are you cooking now? Can’t you cook in the morning?”

“The funeral starts at eight. I prefer to prepare early. Why aren’t you asleep, ma’am?”

“Can’t. Listen, how soon can you finish cooking? I want to take a walk, but I don’t wanna go alone.”

“Alright ma’am. Give me another ten minutes.”

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Yoona got up and walked into the living room.

***

The two strolled the fields with Sam tagging along as the moonlight washed over them. It was peaceful. The ambience created a calm, relaxed feel, like all the troubles in the world just vanished. All they had to do was enjoy the moment. The short grass swayed with the gust of wind blowing in the late night atmosphere. It was rare that Yoona was still not in bed after midnight. The boarding school had curfew at ten and they were very strict about it. Now, the feeling was very different, walking with the greenery at night. It felt refreshing.

“I haven’t been out here so late for a long time.”

“Ma’am, you know? When you were very small, you had problems sleeping at night too. You were always crying and wanted someone to accompany you,” Yuri grinned as she recollected the past, “I remembered that one time, your parents were so tired, so I took over to accompany you for the night. I was only a teenager back then. I brought you out to walk these fields, much like now actually,” Yuri’s smile grew wider.

“Oh, no. I did something embarrassing, didn’t I?”

“No, ma’am,” Yuri laughed, “Not at all. In fact, you were very adorable. You never walked out of the house at night before, so it was your first time. You should have seen the reaction on your face when you first saw the full moon, big and bright. You asked me if that was the face of an angel.”

Yoona covered her face. “Oh dear Lord.”

“What? It was cute, ma’am!” Yuri teased.

Even in the dim lighting, Yuri could see Yoona was blushing.

“Sam followed us too that night. Of course, he was just a mere puppy back then and he was every bit as excited as you were. So, us being here again now, after so long, it brings back all those sweet old memories,” Yuri smiled and sighed into the twinkling night sky.

“Awww Yuri,” Yoona giggled and gave her a playful punch.

The two didn’t go back to bed until it was nearly sunrise. It was a night well spent, filled with heart to heart conversations that were long overdue between the two.

***

It was a beautiful morning. The Sun was up and the skies were clear. The funeral was simple, yet meaningful. The pastor gave his speech, depicting the deceased’s lives in beautiful phrases, making many to break down in tears. Yuri and Taeyeon were both there, looking down upon the sarcophaguses, where the old couple was concealed. The caskets were beautiful, made of pure agarwood, which for the less affordable, would have cost a bomb. Nothing but the best. Yuri and Taeyeon gave their final blessings and goodbyes as the couple was lowered into the ground and laid to rest, remaining only as a memory.

***

“Go away. Leave me alone.”

“It has been three months, Yoona. There are other important things for you to do. What about your college applications?”

“Taeyeon, enough! If I give up searching for him now, what kind of girlfriend would I be? I can’t just abandon him like this, what if he needs me?”

“You spend day and night, trying to search for Alan, but without results. Isn’t that telling you something?”

“I can’t stop, not until I find him. I just can’t. After all we have been through, I…”

“Yoona,” Taeyeon sat next to her on the bed and bit her lip, “If he wanted to be found by you, you would’ve.”

“No, I have to keep on trying…”

Taeyeon sighed, “What if… two weeks before you returned, he left you a voicemail, saying that he had found someone else…and told you never to contact him again? What if, to spare you the pain, I kept it a secret and didn’t relay it to you?”

Yoona stared at the elder, speechless.

“We-we never wanted this for you. We wanted you to be happy. We didn’t want to pour this on you, especially now, after your parents’ passing. We hoped you would move on without knowing the painful truth. But this,” Taeyeon pointed around, “This isn’t moving on. You are still stuck in your little world. I don’t want to see you suffering like this.”

“You liar. I don’t believe you!”

“I am using the truth, Yoona. The voicemail is saved in the mini tape recorder downstairs. Maybe--Maybe this is the only way you will learn,” Taeyeon looked on the ground.

“You and Yuri knew about this…all this while…and you never bothered to mention this to me!?”

“No…don’t drag Yuri into this. We couldn’t see you in pain. We wanted---“

Yoona didn’t let her finish. She burst out of her bedroom and ran into the living room.

“YURI!!! Where the hell are you!?”

“Here, ma’am. What’s-”

“You knew! You knew about Alan and you lied to my face! You and your sister are in this together!”

“Ma’am, no. Listen, please.”

“Shut up! Both of you!”

Yoona grabbed the tape recorder from the table and stormed out of the house. She took the car and drove off. She was holding back the heavy feeling in her heart. Betrayal and despair flooded her soul.

She parked her car next to the beach and took out the tape.

“No…” she prayed, fingers trembled, as she pressed play on the recorder.

“Please…no.”

Her heart raced as she heard the sweet voice she missed so much being played over the speakers.

‘Hey, Yoona. Alan here. Hi. How’s school? We-we haven’t met each other face to face in a long time. Look, you know me, we have been together for nearly a decade now. I-I am never good with small talk. I…sigh, there is no easy way to put this. Yoona… I found someone else. I’m so sorry. Things between you and me, it is not working out. Not anymore. We can make a million promises, but things are not the same anymore. It isn’t right for us to stay together…when-when I am no longer happy in this relationship. It’s not fair to you. Yoona, know that I will always care for you, but not as a couple. I would say friends, but we both know that is not gonna happen. I don’t know what is gonna happen to us, but I know what this means. I will lose you, someone I have cared for ever since I was a little boy.’

The words mercilessly stabbed her heart, shattering it into a million pieces. Her lips quivered and her eyes grew red as the tape continued.

‘I am leaving. I am going away from here, for good. Please don’t try and find me. It hurts enough for the both of us like this; I don’t want to deepen the scar. Hopefully, time will heal. Know that I will cherish all those memories we had together. Goodbye, Yoona. I will always remember you.’

The tape clicked to a stop. Warm droplets trailed down her cheek as she wailed in tears. Her eyes were swollen but she didn’t care. Her heart pounded painfully. She covered her face with her hands and continued crying. Her world was torn into pieces. All those times she had dreamt of finally meeting up with him again, shattered. What about those times his arms wrap around her closely, telling her that everything was alright because both of them will face the world together?

She was devastated.

She felt like there was nothing left for her in this world now.