Letting go

A girl and a boy were laying down on the fresh green grass at a hill where they can see the whole beautiful Seoul in front of them. Their hands were under their heads making it as their temporary pillows. For them, what they are feeling right now is the definition of comfortable. Cool breeze of the wind, the sun was not too hot, the sound of chirping of the birds. It felt nice, being away from the busting horn of the cars, the most of the time crowded streets, and lastly away from the rush.

“Nichkhun I have something to tell you” The girl said and looked at the male next to her.

He glances at her before saying, “What is it, Vic?”

“Kyuhyun and I are getting married next week” She smiled.

Nichkhun, who got surprised by the girl named Victoria at her announcement, quickly got up from his laying position.

“What? But you two just got engaged the other day!” Nickhun exclaimed.

“I know, I know, but doesn’t our years of being friends doesn’t count? You reacted like we have dated in just few days”

Victoria, Nichkhun, and Kyuhyun were the best of friends. Senior year of High school all the way to college and until they have a quite stable job for students who have passed their examination boards recently, it was fast and easy for them to get a nice job. Well, kudos for being straight A’s students.

Even before Kyuhyun entered their life and became their friend as well, Nichkhun and Victoria had already been friends.

Nichkhun sighed and glanced on the beautiful view in front of them, “It’s just that…It’s too fast for me as if the time was fast forwarded”

Victoria sat up, “I do think that way too. In the other hand, it is also good, I mean, Kyuhyun and I will have a longer marriage because we get married earlier”

Nichkhun looks at her weirdly, “Pabo”

Both of them chuckled, the two decided to go down the hill and grab a lunch since it was already twelve in the afternoon. Nichkhun turned into a curve and drive towards a small restaurant. It is their favourite restaurant at the hillside, the place where they always eat whenever they go to the hill. After parking, they entered the small shop it has modern architecture blending it with colourful paintings and decorations. They seated near the window, the sunlight greeting them from the window. Soon, a waiter came up on their table ready to take their orders. Victoria got herself a serving of kimbap and lemonade while Nichkhun’s was kimchi jjigae with tteokbokki and soda.

“I’ll miss going here with you, you know” Nichkhun said.

“Hey, we can still do this together, anytime you want” Victoria said.

He shakes his head, “It will be awkward since you are already married” he pauses, “Feels like going out with an elder” he tried to pull out a joke.

Victoria shot him a look, “Tch, we’re just a year apart, don’t act like you’re not getting married too someday”

Yes, I’m not getting married because the girl I love will be a wife soon. I can’t get married.

Victoria observes her best friend action, he was quiet today not the usual him who always pull out jokes and acts dork at times. Yes, he did get quiet at times, but this time is different. Victoria knew him to well that just by looking at him she can know what he is feeling.

“Khunnie, are you fine?” Victoria asked, giving him a concerned look.

Her voice made him stopped from thinking the thoughts floating around his mind. He smiled faintly and slowly nodded at the woman seating across him.

“I’m fine, just hungry.”

What if I confess right now, trying won’t hurt right?

“Victoria…”

“Hmm what is it?”

“I…Ah nevermind” he looked down.

What the hell I’m thinking?! Trying to break Vic and Kyuhyun’s relationship? No just no.

The waiter arrived at their table and set down their orders on the table and bowed before leaving them to eat. It was a silent lunch only the sound of chopsticks being used can be heard. Aftwards, Nichkhun drove Victoria home. She thanked and mentioned she had a great time with him and went of the car.

Nichkhun opens the door of his apartment and closes it as he got in. He plops down the couch on the sofa. His hand runs throung his hair. He felt he can’t breathe when the moment Victoria said she is getting married plays on his mind. The news crushed him into pieces.

He did not know what to do when Kyuhyun confessed to Victoria on the day they supposed hang out just as friends. The day he feared is coming soon, the day he will witness Victoria is going to be another’s man wife, not him, it is going to be Kyuhyun, he never thought it would be him.

Nichkhun got up and headed to his apartment’s kitchen to get something to drink. He opens the fridge and check out what he could get, his eyes darted on the three bottles of beer that was messily arranged on the fridge. He remembered that Taecyeon and his other close peers agreed to hang out at his place yesterday and they were Junsu’s left over beers. He took out the bottles from the refrigerator and gulped down the first bottle of the alcoholic drink.

The moon crawled in the dark sky, the night came. His room was dark only the light of his bed lamp is the source of the light that dimly lights the place. He is resting at his bed while drinking his beer.

The moments he and Victoria spent, replays on his mind, whether sweet or bitterness comes he was always for Victoria and same goes to her. Her face, her sweet smile, her melodic laughter, her voice, everything about Victoria he will miss all of those. How he wishes he could turn back time and have the chance to tell his true feelings for her. He did planned to confess yet fear of being rejected and ruining their friendship made him setting it aside and wait for the right time. It is too late now to call her his. Tears begin to fall from his eyes.

He slipped on his white tuxedo and adjusted his black tie in front of the mirror. All set. Nickhun grabs his car keys fron his bed and run down the stairs heading outside of his platform. He gets inside of his car and turns on the engine. It took ten minutes for him to reach the church, where Victoria and Kyuhyun’s marriage is being held. He sighed deeply before walking out of his car and going inside the church. All the guests are already inside, seating on the long wooden benches talking to each other or plainly waiting for the big event to start. He walks closer to Kyuhyun.

“Kyuhyun-ah” Nichkhun called him.

He smiled, “Nichkhun I’m glad you attend” he said.

“Of course I would come. I don’t want to miss my bestfriends’ wedding. Kyuhyun if you hurt her I tell you I won’t think twice and kill you” he jokingly said.

Seriously, if you hurt her, I’ll punch you until you regret on what you did Kyuhyun.

He chuckled, “I promise, I won’t hurt and betray her. I think I’m the luckiest guy having the perfect girl to be my wife”

He faintly smiles, “Yeah, you are”

Nichkhun being the best man, stands next to him and waits for the bride to arrive. Not too long, a white limousine stops in front of the church. A beautiful woman slowly walks down the vehicle, she was wearing a well-designed white wedding dress, her hair was perfectly set into curls, her light make-up complimented her features. Her father links his arms with her daughter’s as they walk to the altar. When they reached the altar, Victoria’s father unlinks his arms with her and turn to his soon to be son-in-law.

“I trust you my daughther, always love her” the old man said.

“I will, Mr. Song” the younger man said

They recited their vows. Soon, the priest announced them husband and wife, and the groom may kiss the bride. Nichkhun feels like his heart is getting stab endlessly as he watches kyuhyun leans closer to Victoria and kisses her. He gulped down the lump forming in his throat.

I need to let you go. I have to. I don’t want to be the cause of your misery and pain. The smile forming on your lips is a sign that you are happy and I want you to be happy. Bye.

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