“Eomma… don’t let go off me. Please. I’m scared.” I tugged on her jacket, asking for some sympathy

She smiled her lovely smile and my hair out of my face

“Don’t worry darling, you’ll be fine. Just try to make some friends okay? Everything will be okay. Now, go.” She lightly pushed me forward and the teacher let out her long hand to me. I looked at eomma’s reassuring smile one last time before finally taking the teacher’s hand.

Inside the school we went. It was… big. Unfamiliar. Strange. Uncomfortable. I didn’t feel safe.

“No, eomma said everything will be okay. Everything will be okay.” I squeezed my other hand to my chest and kept on saying the same words.

I sat in back right corner of the class room. Not many other students talked to me. Only a few said hi. I didn’t really mind, I just felt a bit uncomfortable in the new environment.

 

“Eomma, I don’t like this school. No one is my friend. They only say hi to me but they don’t play with me or anything.” I looked up into my eomma’s shining eyes as she picked me up

“Mmm… how about this then. Tomorrow, eomma will give you two small bundles of lollies. So when you go to school tomorrow, find another student who you think looks like a nice friend. Give them one bundle and keep one for yourself. When you give it to them, ask them to be your friend.” Her sweet voice made me reassured, as always. I hugged her

“Okay eomma. I’ll try.”

 

I walked around the school play yard looking for some other students. They were all laughing and running around that I couldn’t get to them to talk to them. I walked around the same play equipment three times, then gave up and walked over to the long bench along the walkway. I sighed as I looked at the two lolly bags in my lap.

“Hu~ eottohke? No! I can’t give up now! Eomma said it will work, I have to try again. Mmm!” I spoke to myself, then lifted my head and turned it to the left. Someone caught my eye

A young boy, he looked around the same age as me. He was wearing a red cap with black stripes and squares on it. It seemed a bit big for him but it suited him well. He was writing something in a small red book, sitting by himself. I watched him for a minute or two, noticing he was smiling to himself as he wrote. I guess he enjoyed whatever he was writing.

“He looks nice. Let’s give it a try then. Hwaiting Go Soomi, you can do this.” I fist pumped for myself and slowly walked over to him.

When I was about three metres away he noticed and looked in my direction. I slowed down my walking pace and smiled, then sat down next to him, still smiling. He stopped writing and kept his attention on me, knowing I wanted to say something.

“Umm… Annyeonghaseyo. Chonun Go Soomi imnida. I… want to be your friend. C-can I?” I asked with a soft voice, trying to stay strong

He kept the same plain face for a few seconds, then blinked once.

“I… think we can make good friends… If… you want to.” I spoke again, smiling more brightly this time. I think it worked though, because he smiled back and nodded.

I grabbed his hand and placed the pretty bundle of lollies in it. He looked at me with a curious face

“Eomma said to give it to the first friend I make, and that’s you. Gomawo, for being my first friend! What’s your name?” I let go of his hand and put my hands in my lap, sitting straight

He bit his lip for a second, then twisted to his left to grab a small sticky note pad.

He quickly wrote something then handed it to me.

“Gongchanshik.”

I took the note and read his name.

“You… don’t like to talk?” I asked, curiously

He looked into his lap, biting his lip again

“Oh, it’s okay. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” I gave him another smile, and he looked at me with a surprised expression

“You can just call me Gongchan. Oppa if you want. I’m older than you.” He passed another note and I nodded

“Okay oppa. But… I have a request…” I spoke, and he tilted his head kindly

“Can I have some of those sticky notes too? That way we can both write notes to eachother.” I put down my lollies on the bench as he nodded and gave me half of the pile

“Gomawo.” was the last word I said. Well… the last one I can remembering saying at least.

 

“Oppa, today is a special day.”

“It’s a special day for me too. :D”

“Chinja? What is it for you?”

“You first.”

“Well… today is the 400^th day since we met. We’ve been friends for more than one year now.”

“I know. I’ve been counting too.”

“I didn’t even know you were.” I looked over to him with a smile, and he nodded

 

“Oppa, how far are you with your story?”

“Well, I’ve started another new one not long ago. I want to focus on that one as well now.”

“Really? What is it about?”

“Not telling. :p”

“Oh~… come on!!"

“Nopes! Mehrong! Keke~ you’ll find out eventually.”

“Fine then. I’ll just wait then. :)”

“Thanks.”

 

It’s been 11 years.

Since we first met.

I was 7, he was 8.

Now I’m 18, he’s 19.

He’s still taller than me, so much for growing.

I still don’t remember talking to him for the last 10 or so years besides writing notes. I wonder if he will ever talk to me. To anyone. I really wonder what his voice sounds like. Oppa… will I ever know? But… does it matter if I know? Maybe not… As long as we can always be together… that’s enough for me.

 

From: Gongchan Oppa

“Soomi-ah, meet me at the park in ten minutes?”

 

To: Gongchan Oppa:

“Ok oppa, see you there soon. :)”

I texted, slipped my phone in my pocket and left the house

 

I waved as I got closer to him

“Hello.” he held out the prepared note

I clicked my pen and wrote back

“Hello oppa. So what do you want to do today?”

“I… want to tell you something actually.”

“Okay oppa, what is it?”

“But  first, I want to ask you something also.”

“Okay, I’m ready. ^^”

“Do… you know what love is?”

“Well… I think so… I’ve read about it in your stories remember? You write them really well, it’s really realistic. ^^”

“Do you believe that’s how love is?”

“All I know is that all your love is put into your stories, so yes. To me, love… is most wonderful the way you write it.” I passed it to him as I sat down next to him on the bench

He read it and smiled.

“I’ve decided to tell you…”

I waited for his next note, watching him taking in deep breaths as he wrote

“…why I don’t talk.” he passed it nervously

I blinked once then nodded

“Okay.” I wrote back simply

“I… have a sickness… I’ve had it since birth. I’m mute.”

I read it with a straight face. He kept watching me, clenching the fist with the pen in it

But I smiled

I pointed to the last note I gave him

“Okay.”

He smiled happily, then pulled me into a hug.

It was the first we ever shared, and I hugged back happily

He pulled out a prepared note and placed it infront of my face

“Thankyou.” I read it in my head, then he turned it over

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

I blinked twice then grabbed the note with both hands

“G-girlfriend?” I spoke to myself in my head

Then I lifted my head and looked him in the eyes

He smiled with shining eyes, and my smile returned

I nodded almost a hundred times until my head hurt, but my heart felt so warm and happy

I pushed myself forward into him for another hug.

 

As we hugged an idea came to my head. I grabbed out a pen and the pile of sticky notes from my pocket

“Thank you oppa. Thankyou… for this silent love. I love you.” I broke the hug and gave it to him

He read it, smiled and grabbed my hands gently. His eyes seemed to lock on mine and he came in closer, then our lips locked as our eyes closed

“I love you.”

I heard a male’s voice inside as we kissed. I don’t think I imagined it, but it felt as if I felt it in my heart

Maybe… it was him. He spoke with me through our connected hearts.

Maybe… silent love isn’t so silent after all.

 

~~~~~

I closed the book and clicked my pen.

“This one is my favourite oppa. It’s our story. You remembered everything.” I handed it to him with a smile

He nodded and hugged me from behind. We swayed slightly on the nearby park bench as I admired the book cover in my arms

 

“Silent Love.”

“Dedicated to my lovely to-be-wife Go Soomi.”