Here we go..
"Choa...Kim Choa.." he whispered
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48lYSZQYyRc
The odds of bumping into a stranger and felt like your heart and soul is being ripped apart from how incredibly stupid he's acting. I can't fathom the thought really.
I never have the best days and still doesn't but it got better in time. But one of those day in the past, I stumbled upon a slumped figure in the park at night sniffling. It was the worst day of my life but best thing to ever happen that leads to tears yet it changed my life for the better.
I told myself to turn away because he might be a , but for a reason I went closer to him only to be hit with a strong smell of alcohol.
I looked around for anyone to help me help him but, there was nobody. Tiptoeing closer towards him I reached out only to hear his heartbreaking sobs as his slurred words escaped his lips.
"Why did you leave me, don't leave me...please.." He cried swaying a little. I pulled back feeling my eyes filled with hot tears, not because I felt sorry for him but because I realized what and why he was drunk. Why didn't anyone cry for me? Why didn't anyone want me back? That's what I was thinking shamelessly. His sobs snapped me back to reality. "I was good to you wasn't I? What did I do wrong? Oh god..."
I felt angry. All I could do was feel angry at this stranger. She wasn't treating you well and you still want her back?
Tears flowed down my cheeks as I starred at him. He looked so pathetic here alone in the park crying like a fool for someone that doesn't want him. Some part of me wanted to say that he deserved it for being so ignorant but some part of me wanted to comfort him and say that it'll be ok but who am I to him to do that?
But who am I joking, i'm not as naive as I was back then. I know the reason to why I wanted to comfort him was to comfort myself, that's the only reason why I always help others was for my own good not theirs.
Stepping closer towards him, I kneeled in front of him that had his head down gazing up at his bangs as I watched his tears dripped to the ground.
"Here." I pulled out a tissue holding it in front of him. I still couldn't see his face from his fringe but that's not what i'm here for anyways, what he looked like was the last thing in my mind. "Don't cry anymore." I said softly and watched as he slowly raised his head. I gazed up at him, every inch of his face that was wet with tears and his nose was red but what made my heart squeeze was the look in his eyes when it met mine. Sorrow.
It felt like I was looking at myself, like his eyes were mirroring me and all I could do was look away. The image of his eyes stuck in my head. I hated it.
He looked confused for awhile before I waved the tissue again I guess he realized since he sniffed.
Reaching out, he took it mumbling a thank you before wiping his face with it.
I stood there not knowing if I should stay or leave him here alone. I didn't know what to do but leaving was the best choice since it was getting pretty late now.
"Get home safe." I said to him and turned to go when his horsed voice spoke softly from behind. "Don't leave.."
I stopped in my tracks thinking to myself if he was talking to me, or was he just mumbling about the girl again but when I turned my head to look at him, he was looking at me. Our eyes met making my heart stop a beat. Stop, I wanted to tell him off, it felt like forever of him starring. It felt like he was searching my soul, reading my mind, trying to find what I was feeling and thinking. He's invading my mind. This stranger.
But...I knew that he thought that I was the girl, I realized when he hiccuped cutting the connection. If it was even a connection.
He couldn't be asking a stranger to stay with him if he was in his right mind. I wanted to slap him for that, I wanted to vent my anger and frustration at this guy that looked so pitiful in front of me.
Taking a small intake of breath, I whispered to him those words he would want to hear instead knowing that it would make him at least lose that sad expression.
"It's going to be ok, I'm not going anywhere."
His lips tightened into a comforted smiled as tears brimmed his eyes again. "I'm glad." He choked. Holding out his hand he chuckled waving it towards him. "Why are you so far away from me? Come here silly."
I contemplated on whether I should go to him or walk away but if I did, who knows what he'll do to himself thinking that she was lying. Without a choice, I turned and walked towards this stranger, this young stranger that is lost inlove with somebody that had no care for him whats so ever. In all, why did I care? Who is this guy that made me want to stay even though knowing that he had placed a face over mine?
Oh....right, for myself.
"Did you come to find me?" He asked slightly in a daze. Sitting myself down beside him, I fidgeted on my spot not knowing what to answer. His tight smile turned to a frown. "You weren't were you? You didn't want to find me..I knew it.." Turning away he raked his hair back with his fingers. "What did I do...what? I did everything for you, I gave you eveyrthing you wanted and what did you do? You came up to me today and told me you didn't want to see me anymore? Why? What did I do? Tell me.."
I want to tell you that you are stupid to be inlove with someone like that while there are others that would die to be loved by one of you, someone like you that would do everything for that someone. Someone like you will never realize how stupid you all are and this reality will never change because this world will never change.
Tears made its way down my cheeks without me realizing as I starred bitterly at him.
People like him will never see me, not in a million years. Look at him, he looks like somebody that would never take a second glance towards me let alone talk to me....or cry for me.
I felt so angry, now mostly on myself. Why did I feel this way? When did it start? How did my life turn this way? I know, when, how...but I won't admit it. Never.
I couldn't control my emotions any longer and what made me snap was him calling me...he was looking at me with those eyes but he wasn't really seeing me and I can't take it anymore when he called another name.
"Hyeseo ah.." He sounded like he was pleading, begging for attention, an answer.
I shot out of my seat and glared down at him hissing through clenched teeth. "First, I am not Hyeseo! Second! Hyeseo doesn't want you anymore, you have to deal with it and stop being a wimp and cry alone in the park all drunk like a pathetic fool! Snap out of it! Stop being delusional and think that your Hyeseo would change. Third! You said that you gave her everything and yet she left you. Open your eyes and look around! No one gives a for you...no one!" They're all the same..they will never change..all they want is money. Stop crying for people like that.
He starred at me. I don't know if he finally realized or he was just in shock that his precious Hyeseo spoke to him so roughly but I felt guilt burning through my stomach. Was I to harsh? Did I go to far?
"Y-You're not Hyeseo?" He finally spoke with a shocked expression on his face. I blinked down at him for a few seconds, he didn't hear me...everything I said was in vain. "I shouldn't bother anymore.." I whispered.
"You look just like her.." He mumbled stumbling up and I quickly grab hold of him to stable him. "Most probably everyone looks like her right now to you. Sit down, I can't carry your weight.."
"You look like her.." He said again like he didn't hear what I said before. I sighed holding onto his waist as his arm hooked over my shoulders. "Hyeseo number two..." He laughed poking my cheek with his finger. I can't even whack it off me. "You look like her, maybe you are nicer...nicer yeah..and not a gold digger...gawwud i gave her eeeverthing..." He outstretched his arms wide making the both of us stumble, it took all of my power to hold him.
"Sit down! I can't hold you!" Clenching my teeth I fought to find my balance.
"Hyeseo number two..." He murmured near my cheek as his hot breath tickled my skin. "I love you.."
My eyes grew as wide as sources at the words and my cheeks flamed. Those words repeated in my head like a spoilt recorder.
"W-What.." "I love you." He repeated, sounding like he wasn't drunk, like he was saying it to me. I looked up finding him looking down at me with his gentle affectionate eyes.
And for once in my life, I thought someone had finally loved me truly but than he laughed with his head tilted back making that one hope crumble.
"Hyeseo would just laughed it off! Hyeseo would say 'Me too oppa, 'Ok oppa.' or 'I'm glad'. Why would anyone say I'm glad to somebody that said I love you??! Makes no sense, there's something wrong with that woman..something's wrong with her.." He chortled.
"Baekhyun there you are! I've been looking everywhere for you man!"
My head shot to a tall boy that had short dark hair running towards us with four more behind him.
"You mean 'We' looked!" A tall light brown hair boy pouted. The dark haired boy just shrugged. "Whatever Sehun, I found him first anyways."
"Chanyeol, don't start." A shorter guy walked up with glare at the tall one before turning towards us. His features softened at the sight of this boy i'm holding called Baekhyun. "Baekhyun ah, do you know how worried we were?"
"I know, I know that Hyeseo doesn't want me, don't rub it in my face Suho hyung..I know that all she wanted was money..money money money..bad money..took my Hyeseo away from me..naughty..." Baekhyun waved his hand in front of Suho's face that leaned back slightly to avoid it hitting him.
A sigh was heard from behind Suho and another boy came beside him. "It's impossible to talk to him now when he's like this, we should take him home and talk to him tomorrow." D.O shook his head. "Ajjashi is going to flip when he sees his son this way...again."
"D.O's right, let's bring him home, it's getting late. Chanyeol-" "I'm on it hyung." Chanyeol got to Baekhyun's side and slung his arm over his own shoulders taking Baekhyun's weight off me.
Taking a step away all eyes turned to me like they finally realized that I was there.
"Hyeseo?" Suho squinted his eyes at me in the dim lighting. "No, Hyeseo has long blonde hair." D.O observed with a shake of his head.
"And Hyeseo is a ." "Kai!" D.O hissed a warning taking a glance at Baekhyun that had his head hung low. "Watch what you're saying around Baekhyun."
"Yeah whatever." Kai rolled his eyes shoving his hands in his jacket pocket. "He knew that she's like that yet he still want her around him, I don't get it and I will never get it. It's not one time that she had done this to him! What does he see in her? What? All I see is a caniving, whorish just like the rest of them that he once "Loved". Pfft...love my , he only fell for their tricks. He will never learn."
All of them shook their heads at the hot tempered boy but they knew that he was just furious at the moment. He loves his friends and never liked it when they get hurt but Baekhyun would always disappoint them.
Suho turned towards me again and apologetically smiled. "I'm sorry about my friends. I'm Suho, you are?"
"I'm...-" "Hyeseo number two!" Baekhyun giggled behind me pointing his two fingers at Suho. "..I'm...Choa."
"Choa?" Chanyeol leaned forward. "Choa as in Kim Choa? Daughter of Mr Kim that moved in in the house in front of us 2 days ago? I knew you looked familiar right guys?! I told you! I was wondering when I would get to meet you! Finally, one female!" He smiled his big weird smiles at me. He scratched his head when he realized I was starring at him weirdly. "Don't be weirded out. Mom and Dad forced me to follow them to welcome you but only your dad was home so, where were you anyways? Ahhh anyways...I saw your picture on the wall that's why I recognized you. You're prettier in person...I mean...it's not that I find you less pretty in pictures but-" "We get it Chanyeol!" All of them chorused.
I blinked. "O...k..anyways...I've got to go now. Bye...I..guess.." Giving them a small nod, I walked away from them as they nodded back.
"Bye Hyeseo number two~" I could hear Baekhyun laughing to himself and hiccuping while his friends pulled him along with them.
I shook my head at that silly boy. "I hope, when you wake up tomorrow Baekhyun that you realized how stupid you are. You're still so young, we all are, we can't waste our lives in the likes of being in pain from love. You have your whole life to look forward too."
Heaving a soft sigh, I dug my cold hands in my pocket before heading home as past memories flashed. Shaking my head hard I knocked it lightly getting rid of it. A memory I would never want to recall.
--
The next few weeks was weird. Chanyeol kept bugging me and kept coming to my house to say hi. That's all he did, say hi and he leaves. He would ask me how I was doing and what I do and everything sometimes.
I want to think that he might like me but I don't think that's true at all because whenever he would ask me a question and I answer, he would be typing in that phone of his.
He's such a weird kid.
And on queue, my bell rang.
Grumbling to myself, I stood up from my couch and opened the door revealing a smiling dork in front of me.
"Hi Chanyeol." I said stopping myself from sounding rude. "What is it?"
"Are you coming to the party?" He asked with his smile still on. I raised an amused brow. "If I have a choice, I wouldn't want to go but I have to and further more, it's my dads party...in my house." He's really weird.
"Oh.." He scratched his head awkwardly. "Well, you might not know you know? It's great that you're going and my friends are coming too so, you know them right? You won't be awkward or anything?"
I crossed my arms. "What's going on?"
"What's going on what?" He giggled but it sounded more of a crying puppy for some reason. "I just don't want you to be lonely that's all, yeah. You know Baekhyun right my friend? He's my best best friend!"
"Ok?" I nodded really not getting his babbling point. "So? Seriously Chanyeol, i'm kind of busy with something right now. We can talk next time alright?" I waved shutting my door only to be stopped by a hand. Pulling it back open I blinked at him.
"Ok Ok, I'll come out straight to the point. I didn't know how to ask you and is afraid of what you'll reply but I have to be straight forward with you now." He looked at me with those intense eyes before stepping back a step. "You remember Baekhyun?" He asked.
I crinkle my nose at the memory. "How could I forget." My eyebrows furrowed at the boy. "..Why?"
Taking a deep breath, Chanyeol sighed looking at me. "Ok, you know the day you found him in the park-" "And him looking like an abandoned puppy?" "Well...yes, anyways, after that the next day..he asked who you were because he said he sort of remember you there."
"So?" I tapped my shoe wanting to go straight to the point, he's taking his sweet time. "Come on Chanyeol..time is ticking.."
"Well, Baekhyun had been asking about you, since you helped him and all and he was thankful yet embarrassed that a stranger found him in that state -more of someone that we finally get to meet and actually know- but that's besides the point!." He went on after giving a good huff. "The point is, Baekhyun just don't know how to apologize to you, and as his friend I just want to help him-" "He could just come up to me and say it, why is he acting like a chicken suddenly?" I lightly taunted not even caring what he meant before of knowing me. Chanyeol shrugged raking his hair back.
"Baekhyun...is a nice guy Choa he just..falls for the wrong kind of people."
"Why are you telling me this?" I crossed my arms feeling my anger boiling. "How nice your friend Baekhyun is, he's blind, he's just blind and only see what he thinks he wants to see, that's all he cares about. I've got to go.." Grabbing my door I swung it shut but a foot stepped in before it could close.
"Baekhyun likes you! I know it's weird since he only met you one time and when he was drunk but Choa seriously..How you think he is blind or whatever I won't give up on my friend! I know that we sound selfish right now, but I won't stop here, I will keep trying. Choa, I know we only know each other for a bit but Baekhyun...I can't lose him and I know that you are a great person. Please..help us.." Chanyeol begged.
I bit my lip, how could I respond to this. Alright? Ok? No? I'm scared, but I can't say that to him. What if Baekhyun is just like that person? What if I help and my own life would crash? It's not a win win in my head.
Slowly, I pulled open my door slightly peeking up at the pained face. He loves his friend so much. Why doesn't anyone go this far for me? I asked myself feeling hollow.
"Please Choa, bring Baekhyun back to the way he was. Please try? I'm begging you." Chanyeol swallowed feeling a lump in his throat. "He looks normal and act normal but when he's alone, he looked so broken and i'm scared that i'll lose him entirely. He acts happy and I just want him to be genuinely happy to wake up everyday. I want to see his smile that is him and I promise Choa, when you see his smile, you would want it too."
"Help him?" I asked mostly to myself. Chanyeol nodded. "Yes, be his friend -no- be our friend. Unknowing to you Choa, you are our strength that brings him back."
My eyes flickered up to him. His lips curved into a soft smile as he nods. "Believe it or not. When he talks about you, the look in his eyes just tells me that you are the reason why he wakes up every morning."
Strength for someone? Me? Unknowingly, I was someones strength? I don't know how I feel about it, happy? Excited?
Baekhyun seems like a selfish guy to me but he cares enough to swallow his feelings in front of them. I still don't understand the reason why but, I don't want to let go of the thought that I am his strength. I'm the only one that is stopping him from destroying himself.
"I'll think about it." I said and looked down at his shoe. "Really." I whispered reassuringly and finally he pulled it back.
"Thank you Choa. See you at the party." Chanyeol bowed his head and I closed the door leaning my back on it.
Baekhyun, why are you so pathetic? Like me..
I shut my eyes heaving out a deep tired sigh. Should I? Shouldn't I? Should I? Damn...I have a choice to make soon.
--
The day of the party had arrived and my dad had people running everywhere so that the party could go smoothly without faults.
It was hectic but my dad trust them enough to do it without us around as we got ready.
I sat in front of my mirror patting on a little powder on my cheeks feeling really nervous. Not because of the party but because of a certain guy that is expecting me.
The last time I saw him was at the park with him drunk out of his mind. That was the only image I have of him.
"Crap...get a hold of yourself Kim Choa, he's just a boy." Smoothing out my white strapless dress I took a deep breath to calm myself when my door opened. My dad stepped in fixing his tie. "Choa, are you ready? The guests are coming."
"I'm ready dad." I replied giving my long back hair a few more combs before stepping out and shutting my bedroom door behind me.
My dad took my shoulders lightly and gazed into my eyes.
"Remember Choa. Have small talk with my guests, smile more, make a few jokes if you have too. Important people are here, don't just stand at the corner and be a statue like how you always do, understand? For me?"
I nodded. "Always for you dad."
He smiled not reading what's in between the sentence as always when he's in his business attitude. Standing back straight, he pats my head smoothing his hand down my hair. "You look beautiful today Choa.."
Like my mother? I wanted to ask him. Because from the way that he looks at me sometimes just answers it. That small pause when he stares at me lovingly. He's not seeing me. I am not Choa in his eyes. I missed her too dad.
"Well...let's get this over with shall we?" He said finally looking away fixing his sleeves.
Watching him clipping on his sleeve, I thought, why am I always someone else to them? Am I a walking picture? A memory?
Am I not worthy to be seen? When people look at me, I want them to see Choa. I want to be in someones memory. I want them to call my name as they look at me and see Kim Choa, not anybody else.
The doorbell rang snapping me out of it. Placing my hands beside me I forced out a smile following behind my dad.
-
In time, my house was filled with my dads guests and their families. I never liked being in such parties, I would be caught dead but I had no choice since my dad was counted as an important figure in his line of work.
I was used to it by now, acting all friendly around people I barely know talking to them like they're someone I would jump in front of a bullet for. That's what my dad taught me, this is who we are. Liars.
"Choa there you are!" A deep voice loudly said behind me shocking me slightly.
"Excuse me." I said to my dads guests that I was having small talk with before turning to the grinning boy that rudely interrupted us. "You reach." I said without a sign of emotion in my voice but Chanyeol seem to shake it off as usual.
"Yeah half an hour ago! I was trying to find you all this time but your house is like a maze!" He laughed scratching his head and like he just noticed he gasped wide eyes at me. "Woah! You look pretty today! And you're wearing make up!"
My face flamed at the compliment and how loud he said it gaining attention from around us.
I covered my red cheek embarrassed.
"Op!" He clamped his mouth with his hand. "Sorry." Chuckling he reached out and grasp my wrist. "Yah." "Come on, my friends are over there." He nods his head at the other side of the room.
No...wait. I wanted to say to him but before I could, he was already dragging me through the crowd.
"Guys guys! I found her! Tadah!" Chanyeol pulled me in front of him resting his hands on my bare shoulders. Damn it Yeol, we barley know one another and you are touching me like we were childhood friends. I refrained myself from shrugging it off since Suho and Sehun turned to us.
"Wow Choa, you look breathe taking." Suho kindly smiled his beautiful eye smile that I will not admit out loud that it makes me warm inside.
"Yeah noona, you look beautiful!" Sehun pretended to snap pictures of me with his fingers made frame. He's so embarrassing...but ...he's cute that way. Another thing I will not admit but kept a straight face around them.
They are not here to make friends with me anyways truthfully. They just want my help, that's all they want from me.
"Where have you been hiding Miss Choa Kim? You should have given us your phone number so we could easily track were you're at." D.O came out of nowhere blinking his big eyes at me. Oh my..
I averted my eyes away from him quickly. His eyes are bigger than his head, like a puppy...how is that..?
"I'm...sorry, I was busy mingling with my dads guests. I didn't know that all of you arrived. If you have told me the time that you would come, I could have waited for you near the door." I said honestly. Kai came out from behind with crossed arms checking me with his judging eyes. Instincts kicked in and I stepped back a few steps clenching my fist tightly pushing Chanyeol to the side.
Stop looking at me that way..
"Kai, you're scarring her." A familiar voice said gently yet there was warning in the tone. "Control your face a little, it's like someone stole your ballet shoes. " He said with a more joking manner causing the other boys to chortle. Kai snorted stepping away. "Whatever."
My head was still down and two shoes stepped in view. Shiny and clean. Pants not to long or short, too tight or loose. Perfectly made.
"Hey." He called, his voice soft like he only wanted me to hear it. "Kim Choa." He whispered.
Kim Choa, this familiar voice called my name. Kim Choa
I could hear the boys whispering but all I could imagine and think of is this boy in front of me.
Is this him? The guy that called me by his ex's name? Hyeseo number two?
This guy that was crying in the park late at night needing me to hold him steady as he swayed everywhere?
This guy that now smells like peppermint, I don't really like peppermint but there's a hint of something I can't tell.
I shut my eyes to focus on it, it's suffocating, in a good way that my chest feels like it's going to explode. Maybe it's just the feeling of him standing steady in front of me? Different from what I remember. More stable minded more..him..with a voice that could make me feel like the world isn't betraying me, like if he would say that the world is triangle, I would believe him. Why?
"Choa." He calls again and slowly, I opened my eyes to look up at him meeting his strong gentle eyes.
Is this the same person? It can't be. Fresh face, no red nose or wet tear stained cheeks and like he read my mind, he smiled.
"You must be comparing myself now to the person in the park huh?" He lightly chuckled. "I'm sorry about that." His said without looking away from me for a second trying to act strong but I could see the regret and greef deep inside.
Now I understood what Chanyeol meant.
"Do you...remember me?" My voice broke slightly knowing that it's a dumb question to ask since I really know. He bit his bottom lip nodding. "After I woke up the next day with a huge hangover, I have flashbacks of you. I'm sorry for what I said, I'm sorry for the things that happened. I just...lost my mind. And...if you're wondering, I remember everything you said to me as well."
My eyes widened. He does? "I'm sorry I...I shouldn't have said that I just...you just-" "Thank you." He cut me off with his eye lowering in shame. "Thank you for saying that, I just..I think that I just needed someone other than my friends to say it to me for me to wake up, so, thank you Choa and I'm sorry again."
"Baekhyun-" "I've been blinded, for a long time I've been living my life with my eyes and mind covered from seeing the real truth of how that person is. They(his brest friends) tried to tell me but I wouldn't listen, and I'm so sorry, I don't even know how I can ever apologize to them now." His voice shook trying to keep his emotions hidden.
"Baekhyun ah.." Chanyeol and Suho came forward. "Hyung." Sehun's lips quivered at the sight of his hyung. The others, Kai and D.O turned away as their throats heated up.
I just looked at this boy in front of me, his confident wall breaking down again because of me. Who am I to you? I'm no one, why are you telling me the things that hurts you, that is making you cry in front of everyone? Who am I? Do you see me now? Kim Choa?
I looked to Chanyeol that pleaded me to say something, say anything.
Taking a deep silent breath I whispered. "Everyone makes mistakes." gaining attention from these six boys. Swallowing my nerves, I continued. "Everyone makes mistakes, how bad or horrible your past self might be, if you are willing to change than it is just another time in your life were you learn to not do it again. Only then, Baekhyun-ssi, that we will forgive you."
All eyes were on me with their mouths agap. Maybe me saying such words was a shock to them since I barely spoke?
I was annoyed but at least they listened. Stepping forward, I placed my hand over Baekhyun's rapidly beating heart feeling as it thumps my palm lightly. Shifting my eyes up past his perfect lips, cute nose and flawless skin I wondered. How could anyone look so beautiful? How could a guy look this good up close?
Finding my voice again I searched his doleful eyes.
"Open your heart and mind Baekhyun, see the people that honestly wants to be by you. Don't shut them out anymore, see the sincerity in their eyes if you aren't sure. If you look close enough, you see how much they care for you and want the best for you." Do you see me now Baekhyun or are you still seeing what you want to see like everyone else?
Standing this close to him, it was hard for me to breath normally. Am I not afraid anymore? What have you done to me? What did you do?
Baekhyun ah...
His eyes were so still on mine that it looks like he's repeating what I said over in his head.
"Choa, I've been looking everywhere for yo-" I shocked back at the voice snapping my head to the figure that was judging the boys around me and to Baekhyun that I was standing so close too, too close for his liking. "Dad...I'm..I'm sorry." Stepping away from Baekhyun that looked up at my dad. The other boys bowed politely at their fathers sunbae.
"If you're sorry, go." He said with his hard voice. Without a choice, I took one last glance at the boys before disappearing in through the crowd.
Nodding his head slightly, dad hard eyes looked down at them. "This is a party, go and play like what boys do." Or what he really meant was to look the other way like how everyone always do.
He always does this to the people that wants to talk to me but I know that he just wants to protect me. If they are willing to keep their word of being my friend, than they have to endure my dad threatening eyes. If they stay long enough, dad is going to warm up to them but mostly, people always disappear. It's not dads fault, I never blamed him for that. Their hearts just don't fully want me in their lives so it's easy for them to just turn their backs on me. I learned that from dad too, look where his company stands, people that he trust combined to be a strong beating heart in their company.
Looking back, I watched as they talked to each other, mostly to Baekhyun that was starting to be himself again.
I watched as their faces softened tapping Baekhyun's cheek or rubbing his back.
"He's lucky to have friends like them.." I muttered before my view was blocked by a body. Sifting my eyes up, I met with my dads sharp gaze making me flinch back slightly.
"I've been keeping an eye on those boys and one of them had been visiting you a lot hasn't he?" He asked. I nodded knowing that I could never lie to him. "Their fathers are close friends of mine, they are trusted people in this company here in Korea like the other six men in China Choa you know that right?"
"I know dad." My head lowered but a hand pulled it back up. "Raise your head. I want to see you, I want to see you when I talk to you."
"I am looking at you dad." "I want to see my Choa." He whispered.
My Choa..
"I know that I have been blocking you from making friends Choa, I blocked you too much but I'm scared that you'll turn back like how you used to be before." He caressed his thumb on my cheek lovingly. "They didn't deserve you, he doesn't deserve my precious daughter but I was too busy with work to see until he broke you. I'm sorry.."
"Dad..it's ok, I understand." I took a shaky breath in with a smile. This is my dad. No hard gazes, no threatening voice, only affection and love. Grasping his hand that's on my cheek, I gave it a reassuring squeeze.
"I love you dad, I don't blame you, I never did. Everyting is ok now." I whispered and that made his lips curve into a proud smile to have a wonderful forgiving daughter. "I love you too Choa. Now go to your friends." He turned me around and nudged me forward making me look back at him confused.
"Dad?"
He smiled waving his hand in a shooing motion.
"They are great boys like their dads, you can trust them. I only did that to them because I wanted to talk to you knowing that you are hesitant. I've known their dads a long time and i've met all of them before. They are very polite and Baekhyun, is a good kid Choa. I know about his mistakes but he just needs someone to lead him forward and from what I saw just a few minutes ago...he hears you and knowing him, it was always difficult to break into him." Dad chuckled. "I know that you like them, you can't hide from me even how hard you try to push them away. Who do you think I am?"
I couldn't help but laugh, my dad is so silly sometimes. "You're my dad of cause."
He paused with eyes glazed over. "And smile....you look beautiful when you smile."
In a second I had my arms wrapped around him giving him a tight hug digging my face in his chest. "I will."
He enveloped me in his arms squeezing me back before pulled me away. "Now go."
Nodding, I stepped away to search for them. The guests parted for me to get through as I stretched my neck to look around to find any familiar heads. My head was spinning already from this, now I know how the boys felt when they said they couldn't find me.
I was about to asked a guest if they had seen them when a voice called my name from behind.
The same familiar voice somewhere in the crowd. I turned but the owner of the voice was nowhere to be seen.
"Kim Choa, I'm right here silly." The voice chuckled. Squinting my eyes through the bodies, I spotted it...him.
"We were looking everywhere for you...again." I could hear the amusement in his voice from all the searching they had to do in this party. He walked towards me and I finally understood what Chanyeol meant.
It's beautiful and it's like a disease, a good disease that made my lips quirk up at the sight of it.
His smile looks like sunshine, even with your darkest days his one smile could blow it all away. Warm and bright.
He stopped in front of me with that smile with his head slightly tilted looking down at me.
"I found you." He said softly as we both stood in front of each other gazing into each others eyes. "Choa...Kim Choa.." he whispered making my heart swell.
Kim Choa
=
From then on, the both of us -no- the seven of us had been close friends. I got my smile back but I would still keep small things to myself, like...my feelings for Byun Baekhyun.
I have a feeling that he knows, and that I know that he likes me too. But I would never admit it, maybe one day but we have a lot of time for that.
He would sneakily drag me away wanting to spend time with only me and later get an earful with our sweet dongsaeng Oh Sehun and get death glares from Kim Jongin but I know that they love us.
Baekhyun tries hard not to treat me like how he would normally treat someone he has feelings for. He would suprise me with small things while in the past he would shower them with gifts, drown them mostly but I don't like it, telling him straight. He's learning, he's changing slowly to be a better Baekhyun.
He sings a lot now, because his heart feels lighter he says. I wonder what else he's hiding from me, now realizing his beautiful singing. Time will tell I guess.
I am no longer afraid with him holding my hand guiding me forward. He's my strength as I am his. He erases my bad memories replacing them with good ones. He's an angel that I once found sitting in the darkness broken. Byun Baekhyun.
In time, my life got better with them around. Slowly, in time, our family got bigger after knowing another six incredible beings and hold a strong bond like one beating heart like my dad and their fathers.
Because all we need is each other, we are one, we are family and I love every one of them.
And this is where this chapter ends as new chapters begins for us to write it with new friendships, laughter, little quarels here and there and...love because love makes the world go round...or triangle as that dork says it and crazy enough, I believed him.
=
Start: 29Nov2012
Finished: 30Nov2012 00:00
Edit took a while, I was a little scared. Sorry for the mistakes.
=
Comments