We came to a halt. Sitting at the secluded corner of our favourite dessert cafe, she had small variety of sweets in front while I simply sticked to a latte. She face light up with every tiny bit of delicate sugar. I just smile and sip my coffee. She makes me smile. 'Hey Taetae, is it really fine that you had left your phone back at the dorm?' she asks nonchalently. Yet, having been around her for a good number of years, it was clear that her intention was to double check my relationship status. I didn't respon. Not because I didn't have to, but as I didn't want to. My silence made her sigh. Then, she put her folk down. That is not a good sign. 

My body naturally tilted slightly away from her direct vision. It is pure instinct after all. When one is in trouble, at least don't let the predator see you in plain sight. Though I may add that being sitted in a small space where there was only either her or I, doesn't exactly provide a place where one could hide. 'Kim Taeyeon.' she calls me by my full name. I took a sip in preparation for battle. 'I don't know. Things aren't smooth. We are just too cautious of and with each other.' She simply eyes me in suspicion despite my honestly. 

Then, she turns away. 'I don't like that look.' She voiced it out. I heaved a sigh. 'We have been through this before. I hold no power of the default.' I replied frankly. She faces me once more. 'Yes we have. So don't let your mind get the better of you. Follow your heart.' It was a repeated phrase over and over again whenever this discussion came up. I nod my head. Agreeing with her. Attempting to shut the voices running wild in my head.

My shut eyes, now open. Looking straight into her eyes, I leaned forward. Capturing every minimal changes in her eyes, when I halt my motion, barely an inch apart, her eyes were froze in the state of shock. I distance myself, sat back down in my seat. 'Please. Don't tell me to follow my heart. As I will go insane.' I said firmly. Somhow, tears had formed in my eyes. I stood up. 'I am not to be your excuse. I am to be your friend.' I agreed with her saying. 'I am to be your friend. One that my mind is in total agreement. One that my heart pours the color grey over.' I couldn't even face her. 

The irony of this honesty being shown by the blatant avoidence of her eyes. 'Kim Taeyeon.' she calls out my name, softy but with assertion. 'I know. You love him. I know. You love me as your bestfriend. To you, I know, there is no grey areas in our relationship. I know that it is only I who sees a blurred line between us.' Upon saying my piece, I turn back around. 'I will be fine.' With a smile plastered back on, I sat back down opposite her. 'We will be fine.' My smile widens in an attempt to ease away tension's fog. 

It took a good 5 minutes of me splattering nonsense relentlessly. Next, the conversations freely flow. Things were back to the comfortable beat of being togehther with someone for a far too long period of time. This was it. We were back to the our own pace. Now we walk beside each other, forgetting about the poor vision I had of us. The blurred line I see of us, is the tightrope I have to desperately balance on. If you only knew. I laughed at her joke. Giggles surround our space. If you only knew.