‘Hyemi-ah. Let’s meet. I have to tell you something important.’

I sent the text message to my girlfriend. I never thought I’d send something like this to Hyemi. She’s the most important person in my life, next to my family.

I met her during my freshman year in our university. I was about to inquire something in the office of our department. I knocked on the door, and when I was about to open it, a girl opened it from the other side.  When our eyes met, I knew there was something special about her. I felt like the world stopped as we looked into each other’s eyes. The only thing that made me snap out of reality was when she smiled at me. All I managed to do was open the door for her. My eyes couldn’t stop following her. What surprised me was she also looked back, and smiled at me again for the second time. But I had to finish what I went there for.

I went out the office with heavy steps, thinking I missed the chance of the lifetime. But a beautiful voice caught my attention, “Keep smiling. It suits you better.” I looked back, seeing the same girl. I couldn’t let this chance go, so I replied with a smile, “Oh really? Thanks.” Then I quickly added, “Umm, hey, do you have time? Do want to grab some lunch?” And yup, you’ve guessed it, she said yes. From then on, we were inseparable.

Our relationship levelled up during the second half of our sophomore year. It was then that we officially dated each other. Just as I thought we were gonna be together forever, I was faced with the biggest problem I’ve ever had.

You see, my family and I were originally from the States. I came here to Korea as an exchange student. I knew that my parents would eventually make me go back there and I thought I was gonna be ready.

But then something unexpected came – Hyemi. I have to tell her that I’m leaving. At the same time, I have to break up with her. I have to tell her to move on with her life here in Korea. I just feel like a long distance relationship wouldn’t work. There are too many factors to consider. I feel like we’ll eventually be breaking each other’s hearts.

I love Hyemi, I really do. But I have to do this. I have to let her go, even though it’s the hardest thing I would have to do.

Then the moment I was least hoping for came. I received a text from her, ‘Byunghun-ah… I’m on my way. See you!” Normally, seeing her name on my phone would make me smile. This time, it broke my heart. I know that the faster she got here, the sooner I had to break her heart. One way or another, I had to tell her that we need to break up. And the only way to do that is through lies.

The moment we were together, I told her what I wanted to. But I needed to make things harsher so that she’ll believe that I want to end our relationship.

“Hyemi-ah… I don’t like you anymore. Let’s break up.” Her eyes widened, as if asking me why I was doing this. I quickly answered.

“I’ve met another girl, and I think she’s better than you.” If that wasn’t harsh enough, I added, “Don’t be so disappointed. I’m usually like this. So please don’t bother me anymore.”

I kept a straight face, trying to be as cold as I could possibly can. I could see tears forming in her eyes, trying to hold the emotions back.

“Byunghun-ah… This is a joke, right? Why are you like this? Is something wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing. It just had to be like this. I lied to you about everything.” I replied, eventually making her cry. Seeing her like this broke my heart but I had to keep this going. I need to convince her that we need to break up. But I couldn’t resist myself. I held her face and wiped away those tears.

“Why are you like this? Why do you make things difficult?” I told her, showing a little bit of my feelings. If she continues to be like this, it’ll be harder for me to let her go. I tried brain washing her. “What is it that you like about me?? Doesn’t it just make you suffer?”

I can’t believe I’m saying these. But I need to keep on going. “Hyemi-ah… You’re a great girl. I’m sure there’ll be a better man out there. And I’m sure he won’t be hard to meet.”

“No! I don’t want to!” She screamed, crying, not letting me finish my sentence. It really broke my heart seeing her hurt like that. At this rate, it’ll be harder to convince her. Then I thought of something.

“Snap out of it, stupid!” Both of our eyes widened from surprise, hers from surprise from my word choice and mine surprised that I was able to tell her something like that. I had to continue, “I’ll tell you one more time, I hate you. I really really hate you!”

She sobbed endlessly, just looking at the ground. Now that it’s like this, I needed to get to the point. I inhaled and exhaled, breathing to help myself calm down.

As soon as I was calm, I took her chin and lifted her face up. I looked at her eye to eye and said the words I needed to.

“Hyemi-ah… Farewell *Don’t go*… Go and be happy *Don’t leave*... Forget me, just forget me and move on *Don’t forget me*…” Why is this so hard to do? Control, Byunghun, control. “I’m… I’m okay *It hurts*… Don’t worry about me and move on *Please don’t leave*…” I love you, Hyemi-ah… more than you’ll ever know.

I finally said those words… I hugged her tight for the last time, kissed her forehead and walked away. I wanted to look back, hearing her cry so hard. I didn’t expect her to be that hurt. I just walked away, hearing her cry. I wasn’t able to hold my tears back. What I did was just too harsh. I just broke the heart of the girl I loved the most. But I know I needed to do this. My mind was triumphant as it achieved what it wanted, on the other hand, my heart has now a big hole.

Belated happy birthday, L.joe!! <3

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If you liked this story, here's a fic starring BtoB's Peniel. <3 http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/304916/a-piece-of-paper-you-btob-peniel-donggeun-ocstory-shindonggeun :D