Lifeless
Casanova
" He steps on my heart, he makes me cry" - Markus Zusak
The dorm was quite. The only thing that could be heard was the fan stand that sat on the living room floor. The breeze blew over the curtains, it blew the papers filled with music notes and lyrics over the living room table that sat in the middle of their living room. Taiel thought it was a good thing the fan was on ' God know's we could use a bit to cooling us of' he thought as he sat on the floor his back against the couch. No one spoke, no one dared to.
After Jiho had left the members in the living room sat around the floor or couches thinking things over. They were scared off the article, freighted of what Block B might have to go through now, terrified of what their leader had to go through. So no one spoke to consumed over their thoughts. They didn't go after the leader because they knew he needed space. He needed to deal with whatever that was going through his head alone. Once Jiho wanted to talk, he'd talk and if he didn't come back before 8 then Kyung would just go out to find him.
It was an unspoken rule between all of them that if one was to "storm off" and didn't show before 8 then backup was needed. After past incidents (Jiho having got into an-almost-fist fight with a drunk on the street because of his rage after an argument with Kyung, Kyung running of to some place he didn't even know about though he didn't care cause he just had to get away and getting lost again because of some argument among the members, B-Bomb hitting clubs and then getting recognized and same happened to the rest) they made it clear to come before 8. Until then the members had time to cool down from whatever argument/fight/disagreement they had with another.
So the members didn't worry about their leader (just hoped he didn't get into a fight or destroyed some wall of a super market) and so the living room stayed quite.
But if they had turned off the fan they would have heard Kyung.
He slid against the door as he closed it after shoving JiHoon out. His hands came up to his face as he took in deep breaths.
"Seriously, this is just pitiful. The Park Kyung...in this state?...no one would believe it..." he mumbled to himself as he tried to regain some off his pride back. He almost wanted to laugh.
With one last deep heavy breath, he stood up using the door as his legs seemed to be shaky. He made it to his bed without fail and hesitantly opened up his laptop, closed the window and opened up his word document.
And typed. He typed and every now and then deleted words, backspaced, deleted and backspaced some more.
His thoughts went crazy, it transformed into words that he was to scared to say out loud. He was a coward and he knew that. What angered him the most was that Woo Jiho made him like this. Made him weak, defenseless, made him a complete "mess.." he said out loud. Yet he knew it wasn't Jiho's fault. It wasn't his fault that he was perfect, brave, and just plain
"Woo Jiho...it's not his fault for being Woo Jiho"
If their was anyone to blame it was himslef...Park Kyung.
So he typed about Woo Jiho ' like i always do' typed about the members not knowing that he was in the other room breaking. That he felt empty, useless. They couldn't hear the fierce typing, They didn't see his thin shoulders shake and his eye's slowly becoming glossy. They didn't feel his heart tie up in knots or the hurricane that shook his insides.
"Get a hold off yourself, it's just an article, who knows if it's true or not..." he managed to voice out, his voice quivering as he did so. He was convincing himself, he knew. Jiho was Jiho....Woo Jiho..and he knew almost everything about him. He knew that Jiho was helping someone with their rapping.
" I'm helping her cause TaeWoon admit's that my rapping is better then his, so he asked if i would" Jiho had said one evening...was it 2 weeks ago?
He was smirking and he was just plan happy. Kyung remembered how the kitchen window was behind him. And the lighting of the sun rays casting on JiHo's blonde locks. He looked godly, an effect that even special effect's wouldn't be able to pull off
Kyung who was frozen and mesmerized in thought that realized Jiho had been asking him a question.
"Wait...what did you say?" Kyung questioned 'Something about helping someone? or Taewoon? Huh?' he thought.
"Isn't it great? My talents are being known" Jiho amused with a slight hint of cockeyness in his eyes. He turned away from Kyung and looked through the kitchen cabinets snatching a bag of dried mangos. "So i agreed to help her, and well I'm gonna meet up with her I think...tommarow?...I might be late for lunch" Jiho turned his head towards Kyung as he also got a can of Cola out from the fridge.
Kyung became speechless 'Her...he said her...?' He slowly locked his eye's with Jiho as Jiho still kept his stare. Kyung had to escape. He had to leave before anything showed. Before he showed...reviled to much. Yet he couldn't move. Then his world started shacking.
"Dude, you okay?" Jiho shuck his shoulders
"Park Kyung!" He called out.
Kyung stepped back, "Yeah! I mean that's great! I'll tell the other's you won't be here during lunch" And he left the kitchen.
If Kyung had turned around he might just have seen Jiho's hold on the Cola can tighten and his eye's cloud up with worry.
Kyung tried not to think much about it. He tried not to worry, that Jiho might be slowly fading away from him and that he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. He was Park Kyung, Woo Jiho's best friend. He was there for support, and a pat on the back. So he tried long and hard and he succeeded. Sure Jiho missed lunch most of the time, but Kyung had the members and sometimes he skipped lunch all together and head to the dance studio practicing his dance (Even if people thought he could dance, U-Kown and MinHyuk were the dancers of the group. He just had his own unique flavor, cause really his 'shoulder dance' was all he could master up. The dougie was a whole knew story) and tried coming up with new rap lyrics.
He would come back around 7:45PM tired and breathless.
Crashed on the living room couch and would be lifeless. He felt nothing.
The members then would gather around and worry as they tried sitting him up. Jaehyo would come in with a glass full of cold water and JiHoon would sit on his left trying to keep him from falling and B-Bomb would sit on his right with a face towel in hand gathering up all the sweat on his face and in between his long bangs.
"You know not to over work yourself Kyung...it's called lunch for a reason" Taiel would voice out arms crossed stern faced.
U-Kown then would start removing his shoes (Kyung was just so freaking tired to do that) and he would notice Kyung's ankles and would notice just how thin they were. He grasped his left ankle with one hand
" Too thin.." he would whisper to himself as he lifted his leg up to remove the sock, but the rest had heard. Kyung was already knocked out. His head on JiHoon's firm shoulder.
Jiho was no where in sight as he was out for lunch (Again)
The member's felt hopeless.
As off today, Kyung didn't have a clue who Jiho went to help. He didn't ask how it was going. He didn't want to even know her name. So Jiho didn't tell him or anyone else. Until today, he was doing fine.
Weather Jiho was actually with her was beyond him. He didn't want to know, nor find out. As much as he knew Woo Jiho, some things you just keep to yourself. Kyung was fine (as he had his share of secrets too) but he also knew that if Woo Jiho liked anyone...more then that even, he wouldn't tell anyone unless it was clear, and official. So Jiho didn't talk much about the girl, and Kyung assumed it was because it was serious. She mattered.
Kyung wanted to feel nothing.
He wanted to be lifeless
At least that way, it would make things easier.
And Jiho didn't have to know.
ANYEO~
So i updated and it's like 1:40am...and i have no sleep in me at all.
Comment plz! so I'll no to at least continue the story and that people are actually interested in it.
BIG THANKS TO BLOOD STORM Graphics for the poster! (link is
Comments