Tears

They say ghosts are chilling. They say zombies are creepy. They say monsters are menacing. But they’re not. There will never be anything more frightening than the human race. The dead cannot harm the living. The supernatural is not real, so how can they be terrifying? The human race, however, is alive and real. The living can inflict so much more pain and suffering than the dead ever can. We are vicious, and our spite is never ending. We can justify the means as long as the ends meet our expectations. Likewise, we can justify the ends despite whatever means has been used.

We are a cruel race. We are the human race. And nothing will ever be as terrifying as us.

Kim Hyoyeon, a girl much loved for her smile. A girl with extraordinary dancing skills and girl with never ending enthusiasm. However, she is a girl much criticized. She is not beautiful, she is not cute, nor is she lovely. So why is she here?

We live in a world of judgmental humans. We live in a disgusting world where physical appearance takes precedence over many things. We live in a world that idolizes beauty. But what is beauty really? Is a girl with a beautiful heart not beautiful just because she does not fit society’s standard of the ideal face and body? Does physical appearance only make someone beautiful?

I, Oh Sehun, have met many beautiful people by society’s standards. However, only a handful of them are truly beautiful. By physical appearance they are striking, charming and stunning. By heart they are malicious, cruel, unkind. The entertainment industry is one of the most cut throat industries in the world. There will be people that will bring you down and there will be people that will make you feel less than adequate. But you must stand strong. Your resolve is your strength.

But it seems everyone has their breaking points. Everyone has their limits. There comes a time when the load is too huge to bear alone that they seek release in another form. Sometimes when people are pushed to the edge, there is no coming back; there is nothing to hold onto anymore.

In my opinion, Kim Hyoyeon was one of the brightest stars of our world. She was beautiful inside and out. Her enthusiasm was never ending, her smile was as brilliant as the sun and her soul was as pure as snow. As a senior, she helped us all. She helped us to train, she helped us when we debuted and she helped us post debut. She was beautiful by my standards, she was beautiful to her group mate’s standards but she was not, by society’s standards.

Sometime in between all that, I fell in love with her. I fell in love with the woman of full of smiles. I fell in love with her dancing. The bottom line is, I fell in love with her. I did, but nobody else seemed to.

She tried so hard to please everybody. She tried so hard to live up to the name of her other group members. She tried so hard in everything that she did. But it was like all the effort she put in had gone unnoticed. She knew she was not as beautiful as the others, something I wholly disagree with. She knew that she was the least favored among them. But she also knew she was talented. She wanted to use her talents to make her shine. But it seems not even talent can combat physical beauty.

She was reminded time and time again about how she was not beautiful. She was told unending lies, that her talents were ordinary. She was mercilessly called unattractive, ugly for so many years. The fans she tried so hard to impress, ignored her. The fans, blinded by the beauty of the other members could not see the true beauty that was Kim Hyoyeon.

Along the years of being called spiteful names, the pressure built up. The weight on her shoulders were steadily increasing. I was there, I witnessed it all. I saw her spiral down into depression. The face that was so full of smiles was replaced by exhaustion. The woman of never ending enthusiasm shifted to one of lethargy. I saw how it affected her.

I was not the only one that noticed. Her other members noticed too. They were a group of sisters. They would always help each other out. But they can only do so much. They tried their best to bring back the old Kim Hyoyeon. But they didn’t have the burden she had.  They did not understand. My heart hurt for her, I was truly scared for her. But what could I do? I did not understand either. I could only watch from afar.

And just like that, like the flick of a switch it was over. It was over for the girl named Kim Hyoyeon. Her burden was too great, too painful. It was unbearable for her anymore. So she chose to end it. She seeked release from this world.

Our hearts cried for her. Many of us cried. Who would not? She was an older sister to us. She was a friend to us. To some, she was a mentor. To others she was a best friend. To me, she was my love. A woman so lovely yet plagued by so much abuse. But yet, how many of those were real tears, no one but God will truly know.

I could not imagine how much pain she was going through for her to end it the way she did. But somewhere along the lines it just became far too much of a burden to bear. To be constantly reminded that you are ugly. To be constantly reminded that you will never be good enough. To be constantly looked down upon, took their toll on the lovely woman. She was the embodiment of strength among us, she was the embodiment of resolve. But then even iron walls will break if you push hard enough.

We, as humans, say words callously, without thought. We say things as if it does not impact someone’s life in any way. We say things to berate people, to belittle them. But how does doing that make yourself look better? It only makes your soul, a little bit blacker each time. It makes every single person see, the ugliness in your own heart.

Imagine this, to be told every single day that you are ugly. To be told by fans that you have been trying to impress for years that you will never live up to the other members. Her resolve broke, her strength completely deteriorated. Once and for all, we broke Kim Hyoyeon. And this was the result. Her, lying in a coffin after taking her own life.

My heart bleeds for her, it always will. My heart cries for her as does her sisters. The world is a darker place without her. But I suppose she’s in a better place now, a better world. She is in a place free of human judgment, she is in a place free on prejudices. She is in heaven. A place that is truly suited to a beautiful soul like her. She will never feel the pain of the living again.

I never got to confess my feelings to her, and I never will. The human race took her away before I could. But I suppose that she’s watching me from up there. If she is, I truly hope that she knows that I deeply loved her.

Let this be a warning. Let this be a lesson that the people will never forget. Human cruelty is boundless, never ending. This cruelty has taken away lives. Kim Hyoyeon was but one of many victims. Just because she was famous, does not make her story any more or less sad. The crux of the matter is, everything ended horribly wrong. Words can never be taken back and cruel words are abuse in its finest form. Every action has a consequence.

So before words are let loose, ask yourself, what are the consequences of my words?

A/N: I deeply apologize for such a late update. I apologize for taking one month to complete it but I sincerely hope it is worth the wait. This story is dedicated to Amanda Todd, may she rest in peace. Her story was heartbreaking and I just want to show everyone that words can hurt a person. So please take into consideration what words are being said.

My heart goes out to the Todd family for losing their daughter and my heart bleeds for the families of the children and the teachers that lost their lives in the massacre. A testament to how the living are more terrifying than the dead will ever be. It pains me that such a tragedy happened so close to Christmas.

I apologize for the long author's notice but I will end this on a light note. I wish to thank all my reader's for reading this and please do take the time to comment, it is highly appreciated. And of course, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.