Baro couldn't deny the pain he felt in his chest, not even after all the time that has passed, the pain was still so fresh. And immense. Especially walking down this street. The street where they always walked down together, just window shopping and having fun. Being together with her was such a bittersweet memory now. 

 

....

 

"Awh~, Sunwoo." Hyemi chuckled, rubbing his head and messing up his hair. He protested, but it didn't stop her and only caused him to pout more. "Heeeyyy~!" She laughed some more at his aegyo, "stop pouting."

 

"No." He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and looked straight ahead as they continued to walk. 

 

"Fine. You can have a piece of my cookie." She allowed, holding the large gooey double chocolate chip cookie out to her boyfriend. 

 

Baro perked up immediately, reaching out for the cookie she had and tearing off a piece for himself. He smiled wide as he chewed, making Hyemi laugh once more. 

 

~

 

"Waahhh!" Hyemi exclaimed pointing into the window of a jewelry store, "Look at that ring, Sunwoo! Isn't it beautiful?" She asked, pressing her face to the glass. 

 

"Yeah, it sure is. It reminds me of you." He replied sweetly, connecting his eyes with her in the window as she blushed. 

 

"Yahh! Don't be so cheesy." She mumbled, but didn't fool Baro. He could tell she liked it. Kissing her cheek, Baro wrapped his arms around her waist from behind while she looked at surrounding jewelry, none as beautiful as the white gold ring with the small diamond encased in the metal at the center. 

 

...

 

Baro could feel the tears at the back of his eyes, waiting to burst through. He hadn't even made it halfway down the street. This time was bad. This day marked two years. 

 

He slipped inside the same jewelry store and browsed. The ring had long been sold out and was no longer on display, but Baro still looked through the shining pieces, each more stunning than the last. 

 

He never understood why Hyemi liked jewelry and rings so much, but he would always buy them for her when he had an excuse. Her birthday, Valentine's day, Christmas, there was one time he even bought her one on his birthday. 

 

She had gotten mad though. In the end, however, she accepted it with a wide smile. 

 

Yet, when he had given her that ring, the ring she had been so enamored with, he received only tears. 

 

....

 

"I've...I've brought something for you..." Baro gulped, shifting in the hard and uncomfortable chair placed by her bed as she looked up at him. 

 

"What is it?" Even though she tried, her voice couldn't hold the excitement she felt and instead sounded flat and scratchy. Baro's heart twisted painfully. 

 

With shaking hands, he held the box for her to take in pale fingers. Baro had come in, expecting her to be in a bad condition, but even mental preparation didn't help his heart as he saw her. Pale, hallow. Lifeless. 

 

When she opened the box, she gasped as tear immediately filled her eyes, "Sunwoo, didn't you know?" She choked, one hand covering , one hand gripping the box. "This is an engagement ring..." 

 

"I know." Baro nodded, his voice stronger than he felt at the moment. His knees trembled as he kneeled beside her bed, and his fingers gripped her icy hand to stop their shaking. 

 

"I want to marry you. I love you with all my heart, Hyemi."

 

"But, Baro-" she rarely called him Baro, and he could hear the pity in her voice. She only called him Baro when she was going to deliver bad news, like the nickname would make the blow that much softer. 

 

"I don't care however brief, Hyemi. I want to be married to you. Will you please marry me?"

 

"Baro..." Her voice was affectionate, though weak, as she caressed his hair softly, long fingers running through silk hair. "Baro...of course I'll marry you." 

 

He took her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles as he cried. 

 

....

 

Exiting the shop, Baro took the ring from his pocket, fingers running over the smooth band. 

 

The wedding had been simple, plain. They didn't have as long as either of them would have liked to plan. It happened in the hospital chapel a week later. Sandeul was Baro's best man, and Jinyoung was jokingly the bridesmaid. Her dress was beautiful, and the makeup added a beautiful color to her sallow features. It wasn't like he had wanted, surely, but it was enough. 

 

Because it was her. His Hyemi. 

 

That night, he held her close, still in his tux, and whispered words of his love into her ear. She fell asleep with a small smile on her face. Baro didn't let her go that night. 

 

Holding back tears as best as he could, Baro continued to walk. Walking...it should be a simple task. He stumbled, he bumped into people. He had taken a few elbows to the ribs so far and angry words from his victims. He couldn't. 

 

He sped up his pace as he moved from the street and towards a park. Their park. How was it that everything surrounding him held traces of her? Of her and him? Of them? 

 

...

 

"Look, Sunwoo! Ducks!" Hyemi exclaimed, breaking a piece off of her ice cream cone to turn into crumbs between her fingers. She moved towards them and spread her treat on the ground by her feet. As they all waddles to get at the sweet crumbs, she laughed. And Baro laughed with her. 

 

~

 

"Ahhhh!" Hyemi stretched out, fanning her hand in front of her face, "it's such a hot day out, isn't it Sunwoo?" She asked him as he sat beside her. "I've already finished my ice cream and didn't get to feed it to the ducks." She pouted. 

 

"The ducks are all swimming anyway." Baro nodded his head in the general direction of her friends. 

 

Hyemi's eyes went wide, and her smile told Baro she was up to no good. "Let's join them!" 

 

"What?" Baro squeaked out in surprise.

 

"You heard me, come on!" She jumped up and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the water. Although he protested, Baro didn't actually try to stop her.

 

....

 

They had ruined their clothes with mucky pond water, and ended up smelling like moldy pond scum, it had all been worth it. They cooled off, and Baro had gotten to hear more of Hyemi's beautiful laughter. He always loved the sound. 

 

Looking back, Baro wondered how he even interested Hyemi. She was vastly interesting, a hurricane of adventure and spontaneousness. While he...Baro was nothing more than a face in the crowd. One person out of 7 billion like him. 

 

But, dying. Dying seemed so... Normal. Too normal for Hyemi. Dying was something people like Baro did. Hyemi was supposed to live forever, going adventure to adventure. 

 

The ducks waddled passed Baro as he sat on the bench, staring at the ring. She hadn't even gotten to wear it for long. Squeezing it in his hand, he wanted to crush it to dust, along with the memories of her. 

 

It's what he had promised, wasn't it? But, no matter how he had tried, the only one he held so dearly in his heart was her. If heaven existed, if he could meet her once more, he just hoped she didn't hate him too much for breaking his promise. His heart longed for a moment to meet again, he hadn't thought much on it. He tried to keep his mind away as such thoughts were dangerous. They hurt too much. He ached for the chance. He would jump at the opportunity. 

 

His fingers curled into fist on his leg, scrunching the fabric of his jeans. He couldn't. It would be cruel to end his life purposefully when she never had a choice. 

 

His tears were dangerously close to spilling over, but he tilted his head back and let the warmth of the sun make the tears recede. It had been a nice day, then, too. The sun shone through the stained glass windows, turning the white of her dress reds, yellows, and blues. Her eyes sparkled a honey brown despite the bags under them. Baro recalled her beauty being breathtaking, the most stunning thing he had ever seen. 

 

The tear that rolled down her cheek at the words, "I do," glinted in the lights as he caught it with his thumb, gently cupping her cheek in his strong hand. She felt so delicate then, like porcelain. Though her beauty was infinitely times that of any glass or doll. 

 

And when they kissed. Baro's heart stopped for a few seconds as they shared their first kiss as husband and wife. She had been so alive in that moment, so very much alive and warm under his touch. It was hard to believe that just two months later she would be taken from him. 

 

Hand to his chest, Baro felt for the steady beating of his heart. Although he could have known it was still working without doing so, for each painful pulse sent another course of despair through him. He was very much alive and warm. The pain was a simple reminder. It was his only reminder nowadays. 

 

He didn't feel much besides pain, even when he was with his friends. He stopped contacting them, and lately, they barely tried either. He knew it wasn't healthy, to live as a shut in, but everything about his life brought back memories he didn't want to remember. It was all part of his old life. 

 

He scoffed. The memories came whether he was around his friends or not. But, still, he couldn't face them. He didn't want to break down in front of them. 

 

Standing on weak legs, Baro made his way back to his home. He regretted not taking more pictures of Hyemi every time he looked at his bare walls. Only a few pictures were framed and placed on the fireplace mantel. In the center, a print out of their wedding vows and a few candles stood. Beside that, two of their wedding photos. Baro stoked the white figure beside him and rested his head in his elbow. Finally, the tears fell as Baro collapsed to his knees. 

 

Doubling over, Baro sobbed. He was sure his neighbors could hear his tortured sounds, but in the moment he didn't care. He still had the ring in his hand, held tightly in agony. 

 

He missed her. 

 

His mind replayed their last moments, the last conversation before the sickness took her. 

 

...

 

"Baro..." She struggled to sit up in bed, but Baro pushed her back down. He knew she was dying in that moment, and that she was going to tell him more bad news. Or perhaps the news he already knew. "Baro, I-I'm-" 

 

"Don't say it." Baro pleaded, gripping her hand to his forehead as he leaned over her bed. "I know." 

 

"Sunwoo, I love you so much. That hasn't ever changed in all this time, and even when I'm gone, I'll still love you. But, I don't want this to be it for you." 

 

Baro looked up at Hyemi in confusion, tears clinging desperately to not fall on his eyelashes. "Forget me." She whispered. "Even if it will hurt, please forget me." 

 

"The last thing I want to do is hurt you, even if you're-you're de-" Baro couldn't say it. 

 

"I'm not talking about me hurting. I'm talking about you." She whispered. "Please don't hurt over me. I'll be fine, wherever I'm going." 

 

"Hyemi, I-" Baro wanted to protest her request, but he could feel it coming. Death. All the pain. "I love you so much, Hyemi. I love you." He repeated, and the machines went off, covering his screams of despair. 

 

He felt hands pulling at him, away from her. But, under all the pain, he was relieved. Relieved because his Hyemi would no longer be suffering. 

 

After all her pain, the cancer eating away at her body, she looked peaceful. And Baro couldn't help but be relieved because she wasn't suffering anymore. 

 

....

 

Baro pounded on the ground, expending what was left of his energy. He still cried, even after he slumped on the ground in exhaustion. 

 

In his dream, he was surrounded by white, some sort of perpetual winter frost land. He touched a tree branch which snapped off. It was so delicate. So easily destroyed. He heard a crunch of snow apart from his own footsteps and turned around. 

 

Clothed in white, his angel looked at him with her honey eyes. She looked healthy, and happy. She had no shoes, and her dress was sleeveless, but somehow, the cold didn't effect her. Baro was cold under his sweater. She was radiant, like the sun. And as she stepped close, Baro could feel her heat. So very much alive and warm. 

 

"Hyemi." Her name passed his lips in nothing more than a whisper.

 

 She smiled at him, and with a few more steps, she was close enough to touch. Baro reached his hand out, but before he could actually touch her, she disappeared. 

 

Closing his hand in thin air, Baro once again collapsed to his knees, a repeat of the show in his house. He couldn't even find an escape in his dreams. They tormented him with images of Hyemi. His cruel mind kept him in torment and despair. 

 

"Hyemi..." He repeated over and over, as if her name were an incantation that would bring her back. It didn't work. Nothing ever did. 

 

When he awoke again, Baro had noticed the sun had long gone down. But, it didn't stop him from leaving his house. After a dream like that, he needed air. Fresh air and a long walk. The wind chilled his wet cheeks as he stepped onto the sidewalk, but Baro paid no attention. He wasn't paying attention to anything, in fact. His feet just moved of their own accord, not consulting with his disconnected brain. He didn't know where he was going, he didn't much care. 

 

His chest hurt, as did his head, eyes, and knuckles. He looked down at the ring in his hands, a light glinting harshly off the diamond in the middle. 

 

In a flash, he was back at the icy dreamland. Only, he didn't feel the cold. He was...warm. For the first time in what seemed like a lifetime, he felt warm. Complete. Strangely happy. 

 

She looked just the same as she had in his dream, the only difference was her tears. "Yo-you're here?" She looked lost. Baro didn't understand why such a beautiful face held so much pain suddenly. "You're not supposed to be...not so soon." 

 

Baro stepped toward her, and reached out, hoping with all his heart that this time she didn't disappear. As he spoke her name, her eyes slid shut and a small sob passed her lips. Her skin was warm under his touch, and he felt the blood swim under her skin. 

 

Warm. Warm and so very much alive. 

 

Their lips met softly, and Baro pulled her closer. "Hyemi..." He said again, holding her against his body just to be reassured that she was real this time and wouldn't disappear. "Hyemi..." He couldn't stop saying her name, and he didn't really want to. She held him back as tears fell down both their cheeks. 

 

"Baro..." She pulled back and wiped a tear away. Baro tensed. What was the news this time? "Baro, you're..."

 

....

 

Gongchan placed the flowers on the coffin and stiffly stepped back. He couldn't look at the still figure inside, not without losing it. 

 

Shinwoo looked down at the ring in his hand, the diamond glinting in the dim lights. He had been amazed when he found it, he thought it had been lost forever. And even more amazed when it was in perfect condition except for the small scratch on the inside of the band. The small thing was indestructible.

 

Stepping up to the coffin, he placed the ring in Baro's hands, the cold hands of his dearest friend. 

 

Despite the sorrow gripping the remaining four friends, they couldn't help but feel a bit relieved. Their friend was no longer suffering.

 

 

 

The title means "we loved so much" or around there. 

I'm sorry, I had to get this off of my chest. Watching the videoand reading the lyric translations, all of this just kind of poured out.  I  really loved the song and video. So. So. So. Beautiful. TT-TT

Sorry for killing Baro. >__<