Ryeowook stays beside him in each moment, praying that, at some time, in some place, Donghae will suddenly come back to his senses and remember him. But a little piece of hope is stolen from him each second of each day. He watches with tired eyes as the older man slips away from him.
If he could just steal back the moments that they had together, package them up and give them to this man with all the love he has...
If he could just get him to see...
It's been nearly a month since the accident. Nearly a month since Donghae had saved Ryeowook's life by shielding him during the collision.
And it has been exactly one week and two days since Donghae had finally woken up, the doctor telling them that he may never recover what memories he'd lost.
Some things he had remembered with ease. Things like who he was, his birthday, his mother. Most names and faces were simple enough, though some took longer to remember than others.
He had remembered, in time, the happiness Hyukjae brought him, and the nights drinking with Youngwoon. He had remembered their leader's heartfelt words and even Kim Heechul's playful smirk. He even remembered laughing only moments before the crash that had ruined him. These things were not lost to him, not after a few days, pieces of his memory coming back like a puzzle being reconstructed.
But in the list of things that he had forgotten, most of which were unimportant, was Ryeowook.
The eternal maknae was nothing more than a stranger to him...

The light fades from his eyes once more, just for a few moments, as he tries to think, searching with desperation. He can't disappoint the other any longer. He just can't.
"Hyung..." Ryeowook cups the other man's face, warm hands on cold cheeks, the sensation sending a heat through the older of the two. Their foreheads press together, and the younger smiles halfheartedly, praying that this contact will bring the memories flooding back. But those bright eyes dim once again, Donghae's lips pinching together, corners tugging down in a frown.
Gently, he pushes the smaller boy away, Ryeowook's smile immediately falling as the other takes a small step back.
And Ryeowook feels like he might break, heart catching in his throat, cutting off his air and refusing to beat life into him. His jaw clenches, teeth pressed together tightly as he wills the tears to remain inside. It's not Donghae's fault. It's not.
It's /my/ fault.
"I'm sorry. It just... it feels weird to be that close to you..." Donghae explains, his voice carrying an apologetic tone, as though he knows how badly he's hurting his smaller friend. He holds the other at arms length for a second before letting go of him completely, "It's like... I hardly even know you... I /want/ to know you. I just..."
But, hyung, we...
"I'm your dongsaeng. I-I'm..." Fingers tremble, unsure of what they're supposed to do... he can't even form sentences. Not proper ones, anyway. His voice won't let him.
Was I really so forgettable?
Did I really mean so little to you?
In this moment, all he knows is that he wants to embrace the other man and breathe their precious memories back into him. He wants the pain in his chest to leave so that he can feel alive again. He wants kisses and smiles and laughter. But, most of all, he wants Donghae back. He wants /his/ Donghae back. But he can't want such things, "Please, hyung..."
And the older sighs, like he's being pressed on by the weight of the entire earth. He feels trapped. He wants to remember, but he can't. Not even that smile that appears so precious to him, is in his memories from before he awoke in that white room from what felt like infinite sleep.
Ryeowook must have been somebody important to him... but if he was, then why would he forget this man, of all people?
"I'm sorry." Donghae's feet all but shuffle across the floor, hardly able to lift them enough to even move, "I'm sorry, Ryeowook-ah. I'm trying." He lets himself drop on the couch, hands on his knees as he sits, staring at the floor. He wills his memories to return. If he can just find /one/ second. One laugh. One smile. Anything. If he can just find a moment in this locked part of his brain... a memory of Ryeowook's face, voice, laughter...
A hand touches the older boy's thigh, and he looks to his right at the man now seated beside him. Those eyes hold melancholy understanding, and though he smiles a bit, it's obviously forced. Even Donghae's weary brain can comprehend that much, "It's okay, hyung. I'm the one who should be sorry... I didn't mean to sound upset. I know that you're trying. It's just... I feel a little sad that you've forgotten /me/, of all people..."
These expressions. These actions. The way that Ryeowook had spoke so quietly that he could hardly be heard. But most of all, that tone of voice...
Why are these things tearing at Donghae's heart so much? And why does this pain feel so horribly familiar?
"Is it because we were in love?" The older asks the question before he can stop himself. He hadn't been told that by anyone... not even Ryeowook had mentioned to him that they had been in love. As far as Donghae knew, the boy beside him had just been a close friend.
He was in love with Hyukjae, right? That's what everyone told him.
And it's obvious that Ryeowook loves Heechul.
But why does it feel that there's something nobody will tell him? An underlying secret. Whispers left unheard by his ears and unregistered by his exhausted mind.
"Hyung..." Those gentle eyes look back down, unable to make contact with the man beside him. He'd promised Hyukjae, Heechul... he'd promised /everyone/ that he wouldn't remind Donghae of the exact depth of their former relationship. But, most of all, he'd promised this to himself.
If he can keep the older boy from remembering just this one little piece of information, then, Ryeowook is certain, he can simply be happy with his relationship with Hyukjae. He wouldn't have to feel the guilt or confusion that still attempts to swallow the eternal maknae whole, and which had tried to do the same to him.
But, still, the younger doesn't want to be forgotten. Not entirely. He wants Donghae to remember the way that they'd laughed and watched movies together, cuddled beneath blankets as their emotions seemed to link to one another's. He wants him to remember that day at the beach that still collects at the forefront of the younger's mind, mocking him as it reminds him how easily even the most precious of things can be stolen away.
He just wants Donghae to look at him and think, 'this is my best friend, and I can't live without him'.
Finally, though he tries not to let it happen, tears touch at his eyes, stinging and making him blink in an attempt to force them away.
There's nothing that he can do. Nothing that he can say.
He feels hopeless, helpless, like a piece of his heart has been ripped from him and he has no way of getting it back, though it lies with the man less than a foot away from him.
"That's it, right? We were in love." Donghae murmurs, something stirring inside of him, making his brain buzz. He can't remember this boy, not really, but he can feel it, the connection that they had or, maybe even /still/ have. He's not sure of exactly what it is, but it's there, nonetheless.
And Ryeowook shakes his head, hoping to convince this man otherwise, because things can finally be fixed this way.
This was divine punishment for the things that they'd put their lovers through. But it was also the solution to their problems. The solution that he'd asked for so many times and, that, he was certain Donghae must have asked for, as well.
"No. No, we were just close." Ryeowook insists, though the tears flooding his eyes and threatening to spill out only serve to prove otherwise, "You were my best friend. You /are/ my best friend..."
Before more words can leave, Donghae is pulling this stranger, who is not a stranger at all, onto his lap, strong arms gripping a fragile body in tight embrace. He doesn't know why this feels like the right thing to do, especially when it had only been a minute ago when he was saying that he felt odd being so close to the eternal maknae. But, for now, it's what he feels needs to be done. And, surprisingly, this position rings a bell somewhere in the back of his mind.
Neither speaks further, but, at this moment, Donghae feels closer to Ryeowook than he has since the moment he awoke. This is the first chance that they've had to be alone, and emotions seem to be stacking up, prepared to flood him, hopefully washing in memories, as well.
And he wants to hear everything. He wants Ryeowook to remind him of each moment they'd had together, whether the memories will come back with this help or not.
Gently, he wipes the other boy's tears away, giving a bright smile in the hopes that it's contagious.
"Alright. But, as my best friend, you need to tell me everything that's happened. Not just little things here and there, anymore, okay? You can't avoid my questions, 'cause Heechul-hyung isn't here for you to look at when I ask you things. Just tell me the stories of stuff we've done together. When we first met. If we've had any fights. Tell me about times that we used to laugh, or even times that we cried. I don't care what kinds of stories you tell me, as long as they're about us. Okay?" Fingers run through soft hair, easing the younger into a tiny smile, and this little sign of happiness makes Donghae happy, but it makes him feel something more than that simple emotion, as well, "Maybe if you tell me enough stories, I'll start to remember something. Wh