June 1916

Luhan: Age 12
You: Age 10

“Appa, can I go out to ride on Prince today?” I ask father after breakfast. He looks up from his book and smiles. “Sure honey, but make sure that stable boy goes with you.” he says sternly. “Neh appa.” I smile. I get up from the couch and walk to the front of the house. I step outside and I was greeted by the fresh summer air. It was a perfect day to go riding.

I look around and I see him, tending the horses. I smile and run over to him. “Luhan! Luhan oppa!” I shout as I run. He turns his head and I see his smile. “M’lady, you shouldn’t run! You can ruin your dress!” he pouts. “I could care less oppa. I want to go riding. Can we go, please please?” I beg. He chuckles before he ruffles my hair. “Oppa!” I whine.

“We can go. But first, we have to set up your horse. Its Prince right?” he asks. I smile brightly as I nod my head eagerly. He chuckles before he extends his hand. “Take my hand.” he says softly. I blush a bit before I slowly take his hand. He laces his fingers in between mine and smiles down at me. “Let’s go M’lady.”

I nod and we start walking to the stables behind the main house. We get there and Luhan teaches me what to do in order to ride my horse. “Make sure he’s eaten a little before you take him out.” I nod my head as I watch him prepare Prince. After a few minutes, he turned to me and smiled. “He’s ready M’lady.” I smile and walk up to him. “Let’s take him out.”

I nod my head and he chuckles. Hand in hand, we take out Prince to the fields and he helps me get on. “Are you ready?” he asks. I nod my head with a smile, “Neh, oppa.” He nods and takes the reins and leads Prince in a gentle walk.

For the rest of the afternoon, Luhan oppa and I talked about everything and we got even closer than before. Of course, Luhan is my only friend here on this cursed estate. Apparently, my father doesn’t want me to socialize with the wrong kind of people so I’m stuck here. But, I don’t mind. That just means me and Luhan have more time for ourselves.

October 1918

Luhan: Age 14
You: Age 12

I’m bored! I’m stuck with my stupid tutor Baekhyun. Not that I don’t like Baekhyun, it’s just I hate studying. Today, we started with math then we moved on to English. Soon, we went into Korean history then we took Hangul. Now, I’m stuck learning Chinese. So many subjects to learn! I hate these stupid classes since I’m the only one learning.

I wish Luhan was here…

I sigh and I look out the window, not even paying attention to what Baekhyun is saying. My frown is replaced with a smile when I see Luhan playing with the new cook’s son Jongin. I think they were playing a card game but I can’t see what they were actually doing.

“And so you pronounce the sentence like-… _____ are you even listening?!” scolds Baekhyun. I quickly turn my head and look down at my book. “M-mianhae Mr. Byun, it’s just… I-I’m pretty cold.” He sighs before continuing his lesson. I look out the window again and I see Luhan and Jongin looking up at the 2nd floor where I’m at. Omo, Luhan is looking at me!

EOTTEOKHAE?!

He took my breath away when he smiled and waved at me. It took every ounce in me not to squeal out loud. I think Baekhyun noticed me since he sighed once again and closed his book. “I think lessons are done for today.” he smiled. “Jinjja?!” I say as I whip my head towards him. Baekhyun gives me a warm smile before nodding his head outside. “Go and play, we can continue tomorrow.” I eagerly nod and close my books as well. I bow my head to my teacher and run out of the room. I throw my books inside my room and put on a random coat. I check myself in the mirror before I rush outside.

“Luhan oppa! Jongin oppa!” I yell. “M’lady!” they both yell back. I run a bit faster and crush them both in a hug. “How were lessons?” asks Jongin. “Boring, we were learning Chinese.” I pout. “Consider yourself lucky. Me and Luhan hyung can’t study since we don’t have the money. Oh how I wish we could learn something.” he pouts while Luhan nods. “Believe me, it’s horrible and it makes you dumber.” They chuckle but nod their heads.

“Let’s play.” I request. “Actually, I have to go back to my appa. I have to help out with dinner tonight. See you guys later.” says Jongin as he waves and runs away. “BYE OPPA!” I call out. I sigh and turn to Luhan. “What about you oppa? Do you have to go work right now?” I sulk. “Ani, I’m all yours. Let’s go to our secret place, neh?” I smile widely and nod my head.

He giggles and takes my hand. We run to our spot (which is a part of the forest behind my house) together. We laugh as we reach it and lay down on a tree trunk together still hand in hand. “I can learn Chinese if I wanted to!” I scream after Luhan makes fun of me. “How about I teach you?” he asks softly, almost embarrassed.

“You know Chinese oppa?” I ask. “Of course, I just know Korean because my appa. My mother is Chinese and my appa is Korean.” he smiles. My mouth makes an ‘o’ shape as I nod. He chuckles before tightening his hold on me. “Teach me then.” I smile. He smiles back before he makes his thinking face.

“Ah, I know! Say ‘gege’.” he requests. “What’s that?” I giggle at the silly word. “It’s like ‘oppa’ in Chinese. So say ‘gege’.” he beamed. “Keke.” I try. “Ani, not ‘k’. It’s with a ‘g’ sound. ‘Ge-Ge’” he says slowly. “Ge-Ge.” I repeat. “Good, now, put it together. ‘Gege’.” “Gege.” I repeat. “Good! Again!” he encourages with a smile. “Gege.” I chuckle. “Again.” he says mischievously. “Ya oppa!” I whine. “Ani, it’s gege now.” he smirks. “Aish, fine. GEGE!” I emphasize.

He chuckles before he pulls me closer to him. He sighs and snuggles closer to me. “O-oppa.” I stutter, blush forming on my cheeks. “Shh, let’s stay like this for a bit.” he says softly. “O-oppa-“ I start before he cuts me off. “Wo ah ni.” he says. “M-mwo?” “Wo. Ah. Ni.” he says with emphasizes.

“W-what does that m-mean?” I stutter. “I’ll tell you one day, for now, let’s sleep.” he yawns. Soon, I hear his even breaths on my skin. I’m blushing madly and I look at his side profile. Dear God, he looks like an angel. My mouth is left agape as I study his facial features. It should be a crime for a boy to be this handsome.

Still blushing, I got the courage to snuggle closer to him as well. Hesitantly, I shut my eyes and pretty soon, I was in dreamland with my wonderful Luhan oppa… oops. Its Luhan gege. Hehe.

July 1922

Luhan: Age 18
You: Age 16

Its midnight and me and Luhan are fighting outside by the stables. This boy, seriously he drives me insane. “Come on Luhan! You can’t stay mad at me forever!” I pout. “How could you not tell me?!” he hisses. “How did you want me to tell you?! ‘Oh hi Luhan, I’m happy to report that I’m going to my appa’s party with a man twice my age that one day I might have to marry!’” I mimic. “No! But you should have told me!” he argues.

“What?! Are you being serious right now Luhan?!” I scoff. “What if I did tell you?! Hmm?! What would you do then?! Ask me to go with you?! Luhan, you know you wouldn’t be able to come!” I hiss. “I don’t care! You’re not going with him!” he screams and walks off. “Ya!” I follow him. “Why the hell not?!”

If it’s the only way I can forget you, then it’s the only way. You’ll never look at me as a woman, just as a damn friend. Dammit Luhan, stop confusing me! I think you like me one moment and the next I think of myself as a guy friend to you!

“Ya! I’m talking to you!” I shout. He still continues to walk. I groan but I continue to follow him. I didn’t even realize we made our way to behind the stables. “Luhan, please!” I beg. “Luhan! Look at me dammit!”

He suddenly turns around and grabs my wrist. He pushes me up against the wall and closes the space between us. I wince at the impact and I hear his shallow breaths. “Shut up.” he says softly. “Tell me why the hell you’re being like this.” I pled, tears staining my cheeks. He smiles softly before bringing up his hands to my face. He gently wipes away my tears and looks at me with his dark orbs.

“I’m sorry. It’s just…” he sighs before he cradles my face. “L-luhan gege…” He needs to get his hands off my face. He’ll feel the damn blush going to my cheeks! “It’s my manly instincts.” he says. “Pfft, manly? Please, look at you. You’re scrawny.” I joke. “Shut up and listen to me!” he says, growing defensive.

“Arasso, I’m sorry.” I giggle, half forgetting he was holding my face. “God, stop giggling, I didn’t plan to do it this way.” he says. I stop giggling and look at him. From my position, the moonlight was hitting behind him so he looked like an illusion. His golden hair was a darker color and his facial features looked manlier than his usual baby face. Basically, he looked y; very y.

“____, listen carefully to me.” he says, caressing my cheeks. “G-gege?” He chuckles before moving his face closer to mine. “Don’t go, you’re making me super jealous of him.” he says softly. “W-who? W-what the hell are you talking about?”

“Don’t act like that. You know I’m talking about Donghae.” he said as he glared at me. “What? Why would you be jealous of him?” I question. “Pabo, you really don’t know?” he asked, a hint of sadness in his voice. “Just tell me gege!” I pleaded. “Wo ah ni.”

“Gege! How many times do I have to tell you, I have no idea what that means! Just say it in Korean!” He chuckled halfheartedly before looking at me in the eyes again. “Do you really want to know what it means?” he asks. I hesitantly nod my head. He suddenly moves his face so it was lingering on the right side of my face. I shiver as I feel his breath on my ear lobe.

“Wo ah ni… saranghae.” he breaths. Am I hearing things right? Did Luhan just say…? “Saranghae.” he repeats. My breath gets caught in my throat. Did the man before me just tell me he loves me? Wait, was this one of his sick jokes again? If it was oh, I’d be more than pissed off.

“Ge-“ he cut me off by putting a finger to my lips. He pulls back and looks at me again. “You don’t believe me. Guess I have to move to plan B.” he shrugs. “What the hell are you-“

He suddenly lifted his face closer to mine and placed butterfly kisses on my face. He kissed every part of my face; my cheeks, my forehead, my nose, even the corners of my mouth; while I stayed as still as a rock. “Wo ah ni.” he repeats.

It suddenly clicked inside my head. Every day, every moment, every time he would say those words, he was saying he loved me. The man in front of me… loved me…

“Gege…” I softened. He smiled and cupped the back of my neck. I looked at him and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He smiled sweetly at me before he slowly leans in. I close my eyes and wait for the magical moment to happen.

When I felt his soft lips press against mine, it was to amazing to be illustrated in words. His soft lips tasted sweet like honey. The way he held me tightly, it was like he was afraid to let me go. No Luhan, I would always be here for you. When I felt his tongue my lower lip, I gasped at the sudden feeling. He takes advantage of it and deepens the kiss.

If I thought his lips tasted like honey, then his tongue tasted like heaven. Who knew that Luhan was such a good kisser? My god, something in me took control and I clung onto his hair, pulling him closer to me. I felt him smile and he eagerly kissed me some more. Shivers went up my spine when I felt Luhan’s hands go down and rested on my waist. Does this man know the effect he is on me?

My knees were getting weak from his simple touches, yet, I wanted more. An uncanny sound came out of me when I felt Luhan turn me around. With lips still connected, I felt Luhan sit himself down on something and he pulled me so I was straddling on his lap. This was a bit better I guess. I giggle when I felt Luhan graze his tongue on my lips, eager to get inside my mouth again. I open my mouth and sigh in content when I felt his tongue inside my mouth.

After a couple more minutes, we were both running out of oxygen. Reluctantly, I pulled away first. I open my eyes and see that Luhan still had his eyes closed, as if he didn’t want to open them. I softened and I cupped his face with both my hands. “Gege?” I call out.

He sighs before he opens his eyes and looks at me with love-filled eyes. He nuzzles his head into my neck and gives me butterfly kisses wherever he could reach. “Wo. Ah Ni.” He would repeat with every kiss he gave me. I giggle and tangle my fingers in his golden hair.

A couple more kisses later, he pulled away and held my face. “Don’t even think you can be with another man now. You’re mine.” he declared. I smile before I nod my head. “I’ll always be yours gege.” I giggle before I lay my head down on his broad chest. I hear his steady heart beat and he starts my hair tenderly.

“You’re my girlfriend now.” he stated. I blush into his chest and nod my head. He chuckles heavily before kissing my forehead tenderly. Now, this is a secret that must be kept between me and Luhan. If appa ever found out that I’m with the stable boy, all hell would break loose.

August 1923

Luhan: Age 19
You: Age 17

Me and Luhan gege have been in a secret relationship for over a year now. The only people who know are us two, Jongin oppa, Baekhyun, the head cook D.O (Jongin’s appa), my person maid (who is also my age)Krystal, and my nanny. It’s been hard for us especially when we almost get caught but we make it through.

Right now, me, Luhan, Krystal, and Jongin are out in the forest just hanging around. Luhan has his back to a tree trunk and I’m sitting in between his legs. Jongin is to the side with Krystal also in between his legs. Can you believe these two are also a couple? Aigoo, love can bloom in the dandiest places right?

“We should go to the country side!” suggests Krystal. “Waeyo?” I chuckle as I play with Luhan’s fingers. “So we can be together in peace.” she says in her duh voice. “You and Jongin can be together.” pointed out Luhan. “Yeah, but I want you two to come with us~!” she pouts. “One day.” I sigh. Luhan chuckles before nuzzling his face into my hair.

“We have to go, before everyone notices we’re gone.” said Jongin sadly. I sigh before I get up from Luhan’s grasp. He pouts but gets up as well along with Krystal and Jongin. Hand in hand, me and Luhan head out first. I look back and see the other lovey dovey couple with their hands intertwined as well. I sigh before I turn my attention forward again.

I guess Luhan noticed this since he wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed my temple sweetly. “What’s wrong M’lady?” he asks. “How many times have I told you that you can call me by my real name?” I pout. He chuckles and holds me tighter against him. “Sorry, I’m just so used to calling you that.”

“We’re equals Luhan. You’re my boyfriend so I’m calling you by your name, not stable boy.” “I’m sorry _____, I know. I’m sorry if you felt hurt because of me.” he pouts with his lips popping out. “Forgive gege?” he asks. I sigh and look at him. He was giving me his puppy dog eyes that could melt my heart in a second. I smile up at him before answering, “I forgive you Luhan gege. Sarangha~” I sing.

He giggles before lifting me up bridal style and continues walking. “I love you more.” he whispers into my ear. I blush at his sweet words and snuggle into his chest. From the back, I hear Krystal getting mad at Jongin for not being princely like Luhan. I see Jongin beg for forgiveness before also lifting up Krystal bridal style.

“YA! KIM JONGIN! PUT! ME! DOWN!” she yelped as he started running. “See you at the estate~” he sang as he ran past us. I giggle and look up at Luhan. He smiled down at me before kissing me softly on the lips. “I love you, never forget that.” he whispers as he gives brushes his nose against mine. I close my eyes and nod. I feel him start to run and I open my eyes. “LUHAN!” I squeal.

“Hold on tight babe.” he said with a wink. I swear I fainted right there. Does Luhan know that the simplest things he does still make my heart go in every direction? He suddenly stopped and I noticed we were behind the barn. How could I not forget this place? It’s where me and Luhan confessed to each other, where we shared our first kisses. “Why are we here gege?” I ask as he puts me down.

He smirks and I get the picture. I giggle when he engulfs me in his strong, semi-muscular arms and he starts kissing my neck. “Are you serious right now gege? What if someone see’s?” I giggle. “I. Don’t. Care.” he says between kisses. I chuckle and grab onto his hair. He pulls away from my neck