There are many theories about love and how to know when you've found your soul mate; Kai has heard them all, but he ignored them as well. In his opinion, what good does it do to know all of that when you will lose them anyway? His friends have sworn up and down that he needs to get out more because ever since He left, Kai has been a mess- but Kai can't help it, when you lose your soul mate, how can you possibly recover?

 

~*~*~*~

 

There was nothing that triggered it, no tension before hand or unexpectedly harsh words. They were completely fine; a perfect couple almost. It was like they both realized that something had to give at the same exact moment. Words of "I love you." Became harsh insults at the drop of a pin. Accusations that neither meant were flung into the air, and both were hurting- but too headstrong to stop. As the young dancers hurled their insults at the person they cared for the most, their words hurt themselves more than they hurt the other. Both were letting the other go in the way most devastating to themselves. There was one thought in their minds as the next string of accusations hit the air: If I make him hate me, he can continue on.

 

"You keep hanging all over Suho-hyung! It's a wonder he hasn't reported you to the company!" Kai yelled back at the Chinese male he had fallen in love with, his own words slicing him deeper than he had realized they would as he knew the end of their relationship was drawing near, he just had to push a little further.

 

"Who's the one who's hanging all over whom? I believe you were the one who couldn't keep their hands off of Kyungsoo- and don't even get me started on Baekhyun!" Lay returned, his words barely registering as he let them loose, he knew Kai had a great opportunity waiting for him- and that he would only get in the way.

 

"I think this is a pointless conversation." Kai spoke slowly, his voice sounding cold to his own ears, but his heart was aching more as his words dimly registered in Lay's mind. This wasn't what Kai wanted to say, but Lay had an opportunity he couldn't miss back in China.

 

Lay gave a slow nod, "I agree. It's obvious that we aren't going to accomplish anything today." The sudden calmness in his voice freaking him out to an extent. He didn't mean this, not at all. This was all just a misunderstanding, but he had to let Kai go.

 

"I guess this is it then." It hurt the younger to say those words.

 

"I guess so." Lay confirmed, turning his head to the side, he didn't want Kai to see how much this was hurting him.

 

I love you.

 

The unspoken words echoed in both of their veins as they wordlessly parted. Kai to his room and Lay to the hotel, his flight already booked for the following morning.

 

~*~*~*~

 

"Kai, you can't stay cooped up like this all day long." Kyungsoo nagged his friend as he dragged the other out of bed, "It's been three weeks. Get over it. You both made a decision, and you have to face what that decision has brought upon you." He knew his words were more painful for the disheveled-looking dancer, but Kai had barely left his room since his supposed 'soul mate' had left the country.

 

Groaning, Kai attempted to pull his arm out of Kyungsoo's grasp, only to drop to the floor on his and stare groggily up at the hunched over form of his friend, "Bed." The solitary word left his mouth much like a child's whine, but he refused to budge otherwise. Kai's hand was simply hanging limply in the air as Kyungsoo held his wrist tightly in his grasp, the older male was barely holding back his frustration at the younger's childish display.

 

"No. You are coming out with us today- like it or not. This isn't healthy, Kim Jongin." Kyungsoo scolded the other, his free hand forming a fist against his hip, "If I have to get Suho-hyung in here, I will." The threat seemed to register in the back of Kai's mind after he stared at Kyungsoo for a moment. His dull eyes suddenly lighting up with a slightly terrified spark.

 

Stumbling to his feet with the grace of a three-footed lizard, Kai stared at Kyungsoo, his eyes saying what he wanted to- Don't call Suho, but I still don't want to leave...

 

"Get a shower, I have your clothes ready." Was all Kyungsoo said as he gently pushed the other into the bathroom before turning around and walking out of the dimly-lit room.

 

When Kai had finished showering and dressing, he dragged his exhausted form to the kitchen and plopped down at the table, staring at the warm plate in front of him, he glanced at Kyungsoo questioningly, "Eat." It was a one-word command, but even Kai knew not to argue with the elder at this point. Shoveling food into his mouth an an almost unbelievable pace, he nearly choked when Kyungsoo spoke again, "Are you ready to talk about him yet?"

 

Placing his utensils down on the table, Kai looked up at Kyungsoo, a little surprised that the other was already seated, "Not really, but..."

 

"But you need to." Kyungsoo supplied, watching as Kai gave a slow nod in affirmation, "I'm willing to listen."

 

"He was perfect." Kai whispered, his eyes once again attached to the plate of food, but his hands making no move to pick up the utensils again. "He was my exact opposite... but at the same time he was exactly the same as me." The explanation was a long time coming, but just voicing the thoughts that had been circling in his mind for days on end seemed to make everything more prevalent in his mind- as though he hadn't spend every waking moment thinking about what had happened. "Yixing loves to go by his stage name- Lay, just like how I like to go by Kai..." Just saying those words reminded Kai of the moment when they were introduced, how Lay had fumbled out- in very accented Korean- his introduction, frowning when he suddenly exclaimed, 'Just call me Lay!' Keeping this thought to himself, Kai pressed on with his explanation, "When we were assigned to dance together for that company, it was nerve-wracking. But, Yixing and I got along great. We enjoyed the same things, understood each other despite the slight language barrier, and had a lot of fun..." Kai's gaze on the food before him seemed to intensify, but the only thought in his mind was how they had run into a road block on the choreography and no one could understand what Lay was trying to explain, his communication skills failing as he became frustrated with the situation; that was when Kai had stepped in and tried to rephrase the elder's thoughts. The way Lay's eyes had lit up when Kai had perfected exactly what he was trying to say... what Kai wouldn't give to see that expression again.

 

Releasing a soft, longing, sigh Kai quietly continued, "When we danced together, we moved in perfect unison. You saw it! Not once did we touch each other, but the entire performance was so synchronized that even our breathing was timed perfectly to match the other's." Kai started, a myriad of emotions displayed on his face. From joy and love, to sorrow and pain, the latter of which became more prominent as he continued, "Yixing got a call from his agent back in China. He got a great deal with an awesome company. The pay was good and the hours weren't bad, and he was thrilled. But, he didn't want to leave me. I couldn't let him give up such an opportunity for me!" Kai exclaimed, tears finding their own paths as they brimmed over and slid down his cheeks. A sob tore through the room as he attempted to regain his composure, the torn look on Lay's face as he answered the call coming to the forefront of his thoughts as he struggled to swallow the invisible lump in his throat, "We had a fight. Our first- and only- fight, and I said things I didn't mean. We... we were together for a few months, only a few months, but..." He stopped to take a deep, shuddering, breath, "He took it with him. The one thing I didn't realize I had given so fully to him..."

 

Unable to stop himself, Kyungsoo quietly prompted Kai, "What?"

 

"My heart." His seriousness was mirrored in his eyes, "My heart is in China with Yixing..."

 

~*~*~*~

 

After returning to China, Lay had been assigned to a group project with his friend Luhan and a new guy- Chen. The opportunity he had been presented with upon his arrival back in his home country had been astounding, but Lay couldn't find it within himself to be happy. With every new day he was barely pulling himself out of bed, and half the time he ended up wearing 'whatever' to rehearsal- and had to hear about it on more than one occasion from his manager already. He just felt empty, and no amount of dance rehearsal would change it, he knew this; but he still forced himself to show up everyday, despite the near desperate need to crawl into his bed and never come out from under the covers.

 

"Yixing, your performance recently... well, it ." Lay's friend, Luhan confronted him after rehearsal. The elder had pulled him off to the side and sat him on a bench near the water fountain and was currently starring the younger one down, "I think you owe me an explanation. I can't carry the weight of two people- and Chen is already struggling big time with these moves as well; so spill."

 

Lay stared at Luhan in silence for a minute before giving a slow nod, "You know how I never told you my news?" Lay asked quietly, his eyes diverting back down to his hands as he stared at the uncapped water bottle he was holding.

 

"Yeah, that's right. You called while you were over in Korea saying something about having great news." Luhan recalled out loud, his own thoughts turning back to that time that was recent for a normal person, but ages ago for someone who seemed to work twenty-three out of twenty-four hours in a day.

 

"I found someone really special over in Seoul." Lay admitted, gently squeezing the bottle as he watched the liquid rise slightly before releasing it and letting the water settle back into place, "He was perfect, Luhan gege. His name is Jongin, but he likes to go by his stage name- Kai."

 

Luhan cut the younger off, "Like you prefer Lay?"

 

"Exactly." Lay confirmed with a small smile that was aimed toward the water bottle, "We were put together for a project. He was an amazing dancer and we worked so well together. It was amazing. We were completely synced. Not once did we touch during the performance, but we were visibly one unit. Everything was completely uniform and flowed seamlessly." Lay attempted to describe the performance that he seemed to repeat in his dreams every night, the exhilaration he felt as well as the look on Kai's face as the performance drew to an end. They were both breathing heavily, their eyes locked on the other as they remained frozen until the lights faded out, and the look in Kai's eyes was filled with excitement and joy and the way his lips were set in a confident smirk- a shiver ran down Lay's spine as he recalled it all. "He made me feel comfortable; we liked the same things and managed to hang out in our free time- and although there were times when language was an issue... We still understood each other." Lay continued, his eyes shining with un-shed tears as his heart overflowed with joy, love and pain all at once. Kai had come to his aid many times throughout his time in Korea, the younger understanding him in ways no one else could. 

 

Lay knew his Korean was pathetic, at best, but Kai still managed to take his string of unintelligible words and turn them into full-fledged sentences that would have poets swooning for the tanned male. Without thinking, Lay managed to continue sharing the details with Luhan, his mind partially numbed to what was happening as his heart could only ache with longing and desperation, "But, I overheard management one day. They have big plans for him, Luhan gege. They want him to debut as an artist. They think he has un-tapped potential aside from dancing- couple that with his looks and it was an opportunity he couldn't afford to miss!" Lay exclaimed, as he tightened his hold on the bottle once again, unconsciously spilling some of the contents, but that didn't matter as his own tears began to spill over and stain his cheeks, the pain of leaving Kai behind suddenly becoming too great for him. He recalled the day he had mentioned with perfect clarity, Kai's manager and his translator were talking in an alcove near the practice room and the hushed words were filled with excitement. 'Kai could become a world-class superstar!' His translator's excited whisper still echoed in his ears although the actual words had been spoken more than a few weeks ago. "We had a fight. The whole thing is such a blur now, but I remember saying things I didn't mean, and... we broke up." He forced the words out in a whisper, as his eyes seemed locked onto something that Luhan couldn't see. "He still has it though..." He added, his voice barely audible as the words slipped out of their own accord, his mind having focused on something that wasn't present, something that no one could see but him.

 

"Has what?" The older one unconsciously prompted his friend to continue.

 

Finally looking up at Luhan, Lay's eyes were still fixed into the distance as he added, "My heart..."

 

That was hours ago, and now, Lay was standing outside of a gate having just landed in Seoul. He stared at the address on the paper- that he had memorized a long time ago- in his hands as Luhan's words echoed in his mind once more, "You can't dance without your passion, and you can't find your passion without your love. Find him and get it back. If he loves you the way you love him- why are you going through all of this pain on your own?"

 

~*~*~*~

 

Kai was gripping his wallet and passport with a vice-like grip as he cautiously entered the airport. Was he really going to travel to a country he had yet to go to to find Yixing? There was an inkling of doubt for finding the other dancer in China, but at this point, Kai was ignoring reason- and the gut-wrenching fear that was churning in his stomach- as he listened to Kyungsoo's advice. His friend had a tendency to throw things in his face when he felt that he wasn't thinking. "If you're hurting like this, how is Yixing fairing?" Out of all the nagging Kyungsoo had given him not half an hour ago, that was the only line that had stuck with him. Kai knew he loved Yixing, but he didn't want the other to be hurting because of his stupidity.

 

"Yixing..." The name rolled off his tongue more easily than his own name had in the past three weeks as his eyes landed on the pale figure that was standing a mere ten feet away from him.

 

"Jongin..." He heard his own name echo back to him as Lay's eyes met his for the first time in just under a month.

 

Suddenly, everything that had happened the night of the fight seemed completely stupid as the two moved toward one another, their slow steps matching perfectly as they closed the distance between them. The noise of the busy airport around them had faded into oblivion as they examined the other's tear-stained face.

 

"I missed you." A quiet confirmation that only they could hear.

 

"I love you." The simultaneous phrase was spoken, Kai managing to get the little bit of Mandarin he knew out, while Yixing stating it in flawless Korean.

 

The rest didn't need to be said just yet, not for them. The pain they had experienced, although it was so recent, became a thing of the past; as they unconsciously twined their hands together. No words needed to be spoken as they exited the building together. They worked together in perfect harmony in ways that they could never understand, and that was all they had to know.