Chapter 20: Reminiscing

                Hyorin sulked as she and Taeyeon went back to the bakery, got in her car, and drove back to the hotel.  She felt extremely guilty about how he had found out. She didn’t mean for this to happen: the possibility of ruining his credibility, hurting Taeyeon, shaming herself. All she had wanted was to protect Hee Sun, and make sure she was happy. Now, it seemed that she had ruined all that. If this got back home, she would not only have to deal with her mother, but her husband.

                She hadn’t talked to him yet. It was practically her second day in Japan, and she hadn’t talked to him since he left for his business trip a few days ago. She had missed one of his calls, but hadn’t been able to reach him. She figured he was mad at her. He had every right to be, seeing as how she had neglected him since the announcement of Hee Sun’s engagement. She had been so busy trying to stop the impending marriage of her sister, that she had neglected her own. She sat back in her bed, and thought about when she had been Hee Sun’s age.

                Hyorin had just gotten back from school that day. She set her backpack down on her chair and waited for Baek Hi to bring her afternoon tea. Hee Sun had been a freshman in high school then, and was still at school taking piano lessons. She sat at her mirror, admiring her reflection. She really was vain back then. A knock came at the door.

                “Come in!” she called. She heard the door open and shut. Unlike the other times though, she didn’t hear wheels squeaking into her room. She turned around, and saw Baek Hi solemnly standing there. “Baek Hi, whatever is the matter? You look as pale as a ghost!” Baek Hi sighed.

                “Miss Hyorin, may you come with me please? Your mother wishes to speak with you.” She nodded and rose from her seat.

                “Of course, Baek Hi.” She followed Baek Hi out of the room, and down the hall. This walk to her mother’s office seemed longer than any other time. Perhaps it was because Baek Hi was so quiet. She usually wasn’t so silent. This should have sent up a red flag in her mind, but it didn’t. Baek Hi opened the door and waved Hyorin in.

                “Hyorin is here, Ma’am.” She announced.

                “Good. You may leave us, Baek Hi.” Yuri waved her off.

                “Yes, Ma’am.” She turned and left them alone.

                “You needed to see me, Oma?” she asked. Her mother smiled at her.

                “Yes my dear. I have some great news!” she exclaimed. Hyorin straightened up. Perhaps she was going to be able to go on the trip to Jeju with her classmates after all. Her mother had wanted her to stay home and study, but she begged and pleaded for weeks.

                “What is it, Oma?” she asked.

                “I have been speaking with the Young family that owns the Evergreen Hotel chain. Their oldest son, Min Jun will be graduating from YoungHwa University very soon, and are now looking for a match. Since you will be done with school at around the same time, they have agreed to let you two meet to see if you would be a good match.” Hyorin’s heart sank as her mother continued. “Isn’t this exiting news, Hyorin?” Hyorin forced a smile.

                “Of course it is, Oma!” her mother nodded.

                “Be sure to be polite, we don’t want anyone thinking you’re a rude, conceited woman. I raised you right, and you will be polite to them now, won’t you, Hyorin.” She nodded.

                “Ne, Oma.” Yuri nodded.

                “Well, it’s settled then. You shall meet him next Saturday. Be nice and dress appropriately.” Hyorin nodded.

                “Ne, Oma.” She got up, bowed, and turned to leave. She exited the room, and saw Baek Hi there, sitting with her hands in her lap. She walked up to Baek Hi, tears in her eyes.

                “You knew about this, didn’t you Baek Hi? Didn’t you!?” she shook her, tears streaming down her face. Baek Hi took her by the arms, and set her down.

                “My dear, it is out of my hands, it always has been. Your mother makes the decisions. I have no say in anything she does. Once she makes up her mind, she’s doing it, no matter what. You’re the same way, you know.”

                “I am not like my mother! I would never pawn off my children to make money! I don’t want to marry that Young boy! He’s probably a spoiled brat! I don’t want anything to do with him!” she cried. Baek Hi smoothed her hair, trying to calm her.

                “There, there, Hyorin. Calm yourself. I know this isn’t what you had planned, but try to make the best of things. It can’t all be that bad. As devious as your mother is, I assure you she would never set you up with a man like that. From what I’ve heard, he’s a rather sweet boy. Try to give him a chance, won’t you?” Hyorin smiled.

                “Okay, but I’m doing this for you, Baek Hi. Not for him, and not for my mother.” She clung desperately to Baek Hi as her life began to flash before her eyes. She could feel herself slipping away. Losing all hope. Her freedom was gone, what little she had anyway.

                That Saturday, she dressed in black leggings and a white cotton turtleneck. She wore her long brown hair down, her curls cascading down her back. She wore black boots and carried a small black purse. She rode in the limousine as it approached the plaza where she was to meet him. The car stopped in front of the plaza, and the driver came to open her door. She stepped out and looked about. The driver pointed over to the middle of the plaza, where a young man was waiting.

                He was about six feet tall, dressed in a black suit. He had sharp facial features, and short, straw-like hair. She smirked. He looked like a dork. She rolled her eyes as she walked forward. This boy wasn’t worth her time, but she promised to be polite, so that’s what she was going to do. She walked up to him, stopping about two feet away.

                “Are you, Young Min Jun?” she asked. He blushed, looking at her. He nodded shyly.

                ‘Oh great, he’s shy! I have to deal with one of these guys!’ she thought. He bowed to her.

                “You must be Kwon Hyorin then, right?” he asked. She nodded. “Shall we go then?” he extended his hand, waiting for her to take it.

                “Alright.” She took his hand, following him to the coffee shop nearby.

                ‘How cliché,’ she thought. She wondered what was going through his head. Did he think that they were going to have some romantic moment or something? If he did, he was in for a rude awakening.

                They walked in, and sat down near the window. He twiddled with his thumbs as they waited for their coffee. Hyorin played on her phone, trying to be as stand-offish as possible. He cleared his throat, causing Hyorin to look up.

                “So, um, what do you do?” he asked nervously.

                “I go to high school.” She answered simply. He looked down at his hands. She hoped he felt like a ert. She didn’t know how old he was, but he was a university student, going on a date with a high schooler. She hoped this was extremely awkward for him.

                “Do you, do anything in your spare time?” he asked.

                “Homework.” She said. Which was pretty true, most of the time, she was at school studying. When she wasn’t in school, she was at music lessons. She really didn’t have a social life.

                Min Jun sat there as the coffee came. He was at a loss for words. This had to be the most awkward moment of his life. He was sitting across from a beautiful girl, and he was blowing it. He couldn’t think of anything funny or witty to say. He felt utterly useless. In his parents’ desperate attempts to match him off, he had ruined every date. This one seemed to be going in the same direction. Hyorin was beautiful. He didn’t think that he deserved a woman like her. He was awkward and quiet. No one would talk to him unless they had to. He didn’t blame her for being cold. He gripped his cup, letting the porcelain warm his hands.

                Hyorin looked out the window. He didn’t seem to have much to say, and was becoming bored. She watched as snowflakes slowly fell from the sky. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. She sipped her cappuccino as she waited for him to say something.

                An hour went by. They had left the coffee shop, and were now walking along the sidewalk. Not a word had been spoken. He eventually walked her back to the square, and bowed to her.

                “Good day, Miss Hyorin.” She bowed back.

                “Good day, Mr. Young.” She turned and left. Even as cold as she was, Min Jun’s heart skipped a beat as he watched her enter the limousine, and be driven away.  

                Hyorin giggled to herself as she the bed. She had been so mean to him. He was so shy back then. After that, her mother talked to his mother, and decided that they should start going on dates regularly, once a week. At some point, after about six months, Hyorin saw just how dedicated Min Jun was to her.

                They went out to dinner, at a nice restaurant in the Gangnam District. After dinner, they went for a walk in the park. Hyorin was playing on her phone, as usual. She had no interest in what he had to say at this point. He still didn’t have much to say to her, even after six months.

                As they were walking, they were approached by a drunk. He whistled at Hyorin.

                “Damn gurl, why you with a stiff? A fine girl like you should be with someone more chill.” Min Jun grabbed her arm protectively, and moved her behind him.

                “Don’t use that tone of voice with her. Go crawl in a sewer, you filthy bum.” Hyorin was taken aback by his language. And for the simple fact that it was the longest sentence he had spoken since she met him.

                “Who the hell do you think you are, pretty boy?” the man shoved him, causing Min Jun to knock Hyorin on the ground. He turned back to the man, glaring at him. “Ooh, angry are we, pretty boy? What you gonna do, beat my ?” he laughed, swaying from side to side.

                “Precisely.” He rolled up his sleeves, and swung at him. His fist landed squarely on his cheek. The man fell backwards, looking astounded. He stumbled to his feet, and went at him. Min Jun dodged him, grabbed him by his collar, and punched him in the stomach. He then proceeded to throw the man into the bushes.

                He turned back to Hyorin, and helped her to her feet. He grabbed her by the arm, and led her away. Needless to say, she was quite surprised. As they walked through the park, he tightened his grip on her arm every time another man came near them. She had a feeling he was about to get over-protective. As they neared a city street, she took his hand off her arm.

                “Look, Min Jun, I’m flattered that you want to defend my honor, but I’m okay now. You don’t need to do that anymore.” He looked offended, and grabbed her arm again.

                “I’m not doing this because I want to,” he said. “It’s my duty as your fiancé to protect you, and that’s what I’m doing.” She pulled her hand away from him.

                “I don’t want, nor do I need you to do anything for me! I handle myself, thank you very much.” She tried to walk away, but he went after her and grabbed her arm again. He whipped her around again and held onto her arms.

                “Listen to me, Miss Kwon. We are getting married, whether either of us likes it or not. It’s our duty, as heirs to our family to fulfill their wishes. We have to get along, we have to be nice, and yes, I have to protect you. All I’ve done is be nice to you, and all I’ve gotten in return is the cold shoulder. I’m done trying. Either it up or suffer. We’re stuck with each other, now get used to it.” He grabbed her wrist and began walking.

                She held back hot tears as she realized that there had probably been nothing there to begin with, and if there was, she had just blown any chance of that. She was ashamed of herself. He had made her realize, that he probably didn’t want this either. For all she knew, he could have had a wonderful girlfriend before his parents forced him to be with her. She hadn’t had to worry about that, she had never had a boyfriend. She followed him as they headed back to the square. He turned to her, and held her close. She began to protest, but gave up.

                ‘Why bother?’ she thought to herself. ‘It wouldn’t make a difference anyway. Just play along. It will make everyone else happier.’

                He looked down at her, her hair. He didn’t mean to snap at her. He had been so worried about her. He didn’t know how to handle those kinds of situations. The stress of the moment had caught up to him, and he just snapped. If he could take it back, he would.

                “Good night, Hyorin.” He said. She pulled away from him.

                “Good night, Min Jun.” she said, making her way past him. She went up to her room, and sat on her bed. She finally realized, there was nothing to be done, and it would be better to just accept her fate. A knock came at her door.

                “Come in.” she called. Hee Sun peeked in from behind the door.

                “Hey, eonnie!” she waved. Hyorin smiled.

                “Hey, Hee Sun. What are you doing up so late?” she asked as Hee Sun made her way into her room, jumping onto her bed.

                “I wanted to see how your date went. How was it? Did he kiss you yet?” she asked. Hyorin shook her head. “What? It’s been six months, and he still hasn’t kissed you? What a noob!” she giggled, laying back on the bed. Hyorin ruffled her younger sister’s hair.

                “Love is more complicated than it seems, Hee Sun. I hope you find out for yourself when you get older.” Hee Sun sat up.

                “How? You guys are getting married, right? Don’t you love him?” Hyorin sighed.

                “What he and I have is a lot more complicated than it looks.” Hee Sun rolled her eyes.

                “Well, when I get older, my relationship is going to be simple: He’s gonna love me, whether he likes it or not.” Hyorin laughed.

                “Hee Sun, that’s not how love works. You need to find someone you love, and loves you back unconditionally. That way, both of you will be happy. All I want for you is to find that one special someone that makes your life worth living. Do that for me, will you?” Hee Sun nodded. “You promise?” she held out her pinky. Hee Sun used her pinky to latch on.

                “Promise!” Hyorin hugged her, never wanting to let her go. She looked at her sister, and kissed her forehead.

                “Go to sleep, Hee Sun. You have school tomorrow.” Hee Sun rolled her eyes as she skipped out of Hyorin’s room.

                Hyorin examined the ring on her finger. After awhile, she had become numb to feeling. That way, when it had finally come time for him to “propose”, she no longer felt as if she were losing herself. She sat back on the bed, looking over at Taeyeon. She had all the freedom in the world. How she wished that she had had that chance. That Hee Sun could have that chance.

                Three months later, sometime in June, she and Min Jun were out walking in the plaza. He had his arm around her shoulder, a fake smile plastered on her face. They walked to the middle of the plaza, and sat in front of the fountain. He took her hands in his own. His heart was racing; his nerves were beginning to get the best of him.

                “Hyorin,” he said. She looked at him, and smiled sweetly.

                “Yes, Min Jun?” she asked.

                “Will you marry me?” he pulled out a ring from inside his pocket. It was a rather nice ring, with a lovely diamond in the middle. She smiled at him.

                “Of course I will.” She said, not that she really had a choice, or at the time, felt she had a choice. He placed the ring on her finger, and held her hand. He leaned over, and gently kissed her on the cheek. She blushed, not knowing what to do next. He took her by the hand, and led her to his car.

                “We should, probably tell our parents now.” He said. She nodded in agreement, and allowed him to open the door, and close it behind her.

                Needless to say, their parents were pleased. Their mothers began making wedding plans, while their fathers talked to each other about the future of their businesses. The two of them were stuck in the middle.

                Hyorin twisted her ring, remembering the time when Min Jun almost got cold feet. She wondered if that was when she started to actually start having feelings for him.

                A few days before the wedding, Min Jun had asked her to come to the plaza. It was a bit late, but she supposed it was the least she could do. She figured he was just nervous and needed some calming down. When she got there, he looked an awful mess. He was unshaven, and his hair was unkempt. She walked over to him.

                “Min Jun, are you okay?” she asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. He jumped a little. He had been deep in thought, and hadn’t realized that she was there. He looked up at her.

                “Hyorin, do you like me?” he asked.

                “What?”

                “Do you like me? Even a little? Or are we just doing this, for our parents?” he asked. She thought for a moment. Did she like him? She looked him in the eyes. She could tell he had been agonizing over this for a while.

                “Why do you ask?”

                “Well, we, I mean to say, that is, we, have never really done anything as a couple. Yes, we dated, but those felt, mandatory.” He said. He looked over at her. “Do you like me?” he asked again.

                “Well, you’re a very nice man, Min Jun. Of course I like you.” He shook his head.

                “That’s not what I meant.” He said.

                “Well, we haven’t really gotten to know each other now, have we?” he shook his head.

                “We were thrown into this so soon, I don’t think either of us fully grasped the situation. I don’t think we will until we’re at the altar, really.” He said. Hyorin nodded. This had been a pretty surreal experience. He turned to her.

                “Kiss me.” He said. She looked over at him in surprise.

                “W-what?” he moved closer to her.

                “Kiss me, Hyorin. I want our first kiss to be ours, not in front of everyone while we’re at the altar. I want this to be one of our moments. So, kiss me.” She blushed, and leaned forward.

                Min Jun leaned forward as well. Their lips met, and gently brushed one another. He gently caressed her cheek, and leaned in further. She grabbed his hand, and kissed him back. He moved his other hand to her waist, as she held him around his neck. As they separated, they looked into each others’ eyes, for what seemed like an eternity.

                They finally separated when Hyorin’s bodyguards began blowing up her cell phone. She smiled awkwardly at him as she entered the car, and they drove off, leaving him there, like a sad little puppy.

                The day of her wedding had finally come. She was dressed in her mother’s wedding gown, trimmed to fit today’s style. Her mother lifted her veil to cover her face.

                “Ah, I remember my wedding day. It was a beautiful day, much like today, my dear.” She looked over at Hyorin, who stood emotionless at the mirror, soaking in her last moments of singlehood, before she was married off. Yuri shook her head.

                “Don’t look so serious, Hyorin. Smile.” She said. Hyorin forced a small smile. This seemed to appease her mother a little, as she left her to go arrange some last minute details. Baek Hi stepped in, carrying her bouquet.  

                “Are you ready, Miss Hyorin?” she asked. Hyorin sighed.

                “No Baek Hi, I’m not. I don’t think I’m ready, but it’s too late to back out now.” She looked over at her. “Does love come in time, Baek Hi?” she asked. Now it was Baek Hi’s turn to sigh.

                “My dear, if you really love someone, you wouldn’t have to try to love them. You would only have to work at keeping your love for them alive. But, seeing as how you and Mr. Young didn’t really get to know each other through your courtship, it might. A very small chance, but a chance nonetheless.” Hyorin nodded.

                “Thank you, Baek Hi.” She hugged her, and headed out the door, towards her future.

                Hyorin twisted her ring, thinking about Min Jun. Nowadays, she could say that she loved him. But, she could still not clearly define how much she loved him, or whether or not she was “in love” with him. Right now, all she could think about was Hee Sun, and how much she wanted her to avoid the life she was forced to live. By no means was Min Jun abusive or mean, he wasn’t an alcoholic, or addicted to drugs. He was a hardworking man who loved her very much. She only wished she could return his affection.

                After two years of matrimonial “bliss”, Hyorin and Min Jun had still not, *ahem, consummated their marriage. Every time Min Jun had tried in any way to be romantic with her, she had shied away from him, or spurned his advances head on. He was beginning to question everything.

                Was she cheating on him? Did she not find him attractive? Did she not love him? He couldn’t quite figure it out. It didn’t help that they only had so little time together, seeing as how they both worked constantly. Every time their schedules did match up, however, she seemed to have something new to do. Another gala to go to, another conference to attend. He had called her recently, but she didn’t pick up. That’s when he remembered that she had gone to Japan with her younger sister and her friends as the chaperone.

                He sat at home alone, twiddling his thumbs. This is not the type of life he imagined when he thought about getting married. He had watched the movies and dramas about women being left home while the men were away on business. They too seemed to share his insecurities. He always thought that he would be the one having to comfort Hyorin about him being faithful, when now, he could see that it was him who needed comforting.

END OF CHAPTER 20