O1 // [ O N E ]

1.

☁

Rain.

There it goes again. I'm so sick of hearing the raindrops hitting against my window. It always annoyed me to no end. I've always hated seeing how a bright sunny day gradually become so dark and gloomy. It affects my mood as well. And I've always hated being moody. Everyone around me hates it too.

Time and time again I have to remind myself not to vent my frustrations and my negative moods on anyone around me, especially the people I love. I hated it- seeing their faces so hurt and sad. It pains me to see them like that but I couldn't help it. That's why I withdrew from everyone around me. I didn't want to be close to anyone anymore.

But there was one person who couldn't stop coming over and over to me again.

Yes, that person was none other than my lover. Bang Yongguk.

Without fail, he would visit me whenever it rains, whether he would come drenched from the rain or dry because of the umbrella I gave him, no matter what, he would always be there for me. To be honest, I began to hate myself even more because I would always vent my frustrations and give him the cold shoulder despite him doing all the he could to see me smile.

I couldn't take it and one day, I snapped at him, telling him to never visit me again. I told him I was sick of him and that I would break up with him if he didn't leave that very second.

So he left.

He would call me or text me whenever he wanted to drop by. It seemed as if he was afraid of losing me, when it was the other way round. Ever since I began to coop inside my house and never stepping out because I hated the world and everyone in it, I got more insecure about Yongguk.

I would picture him going out with other girls behind my back, despite him having work to do. I would picture him sending his female colleague home or maybe him sleeping with one of them occassionally. It was stupid of me to think that way, knowing that I am the last person he would want to lose.

But as the days go by, I became more possessive, more jealous and more insecure. I couldn't take it anymore so I invited him over. By the time he arrived, rain drops started falling again, causing me to be annoyed.

He was about to walk over to me with that stupid gummy smile of his when I told him to stop in his tracks. I looked at him with much hate in my eyes as he stood there obediently.

"Let's break up."

He looked at me wide-eyed and shocked at what he had just heard. Looking at his face, my heart ached.

He was hurt and it was obvious. The strong Bang Yongguk that I've always seen was no longer there. Instead, it was a hurt, broken and timid Bang Yongguk in his place.

No, this is not right. He should just smile and walk away, be happy with someone else. His lips began to quiver as he looked down at his feet. He was taken aback by my words and I knew he was broken.

Shattered into pieces.

He looked at me again and tried to smile, despite the tears rolling freely down his cheeks.

I didn't know what came over me but all I said was, "Get out."

He wanted to step closer to me but I gave him the look that told him he needed to go. WIth much hesitation and knowledge that I hate people who don't listen to me, he turned his back to me and walked away.

I sat by the window and brought my knees up to my chest as I hugged them. I watched as he walked away from my window, banging onto anyone who was in his way. He didn't even watch where he was going.

That's when I saw a lady with an umbrella running towards him and grabbing his arm. He didn't even lift his head to look at her but she was concerned of course.

Plastic, but nevertheless, pretty.

I felt my chest tighten as she grabbed his arm lovingly and placed the umbrella on top of his head.

That's the kind of girl that you should be after, Yongguk. I smirked to myself and chuckled a little.

Tears rolling freely down my cheeks this time, I began to sob.

Just like the rain, sad and lonely, that's what I feel right now.