Tao’s POV:

I woke up feeling groggily and tired but pushed through it as I made my way to the bathroom. I went in and stared at myself in the mirror. “It’s another day Tao… Enjoy it.” I told myself with a fake smile. It slowly faded with my next words, “Oh who am I kidding! My days aren’t good anymore…” I quickly changed clothes and washed up a little before heading out into the kitchen where Chen, Xiumin, and Luhan were making food.

Luhan noticed I walked in and stopped and hugged me tightly shaking me from side to side. I gave him a slight smile as he handed me a plate, “Did you sleep well?” he asked. I nodded. He smiled at me and I left to the dining room. As soon as I walked in I saw Kris and Lay chatting away. I sat next to Kris and slowly began eating not even looking at the two. I felt someone touch my shoulder; I looked up. “Hey Tao, did you sleep well?” Kris asked me with a smile. I slowly nodded and went back to my food.

Aish, Kris, he really knows how to ruin someone’s life doesn’t he? First of all, I met him and it was love at first site. Then he tells someone he’s not gay and I over hear. I just wish I never liked him in the first place. He’s… just to perfect. I was shaken from my thoughts when the rest of the band came to the table. We all began eating. Everyone was talking and smiling happily except for me. I stared at my food. I wasn’t hungry anymore.

I felt a hand on my shoulder again, Kris’s hand. My heart stopped and I looked at him. His beautiful brown eyes staring at me with a worried look on his face. “Are you ok? You seem kind of down today… Are you feeling alright?” He asked placing a hand on my forehead to check if I felt hotter then normal. His hand felt like a patch over my heart. A patch that spelled Kris. I just gave him a fake smile that was hard to tell, “I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

Before he could reply Luhan and Xiumin both sang out loud, “Awww~ Taoris is real~” My cheeks became incredibly red as Kris just chuckled. “No no. Taoris is only for fanservice.” he told them. My heart dropped. My head turned to him, I had a plain look on my face but on the inside I was hurt. I felt like that patch on my heart was ripped away forever. He wasn’t looking at me though so I just turned my head back to my food.

I sighed deeply and looked at the three who made breakfast with a huge fake smile, “Thanks guys for breakfast. It was really good. I’m going to get ready for our interview now.” I left to the kitchen with my plate before they could speak. I threw my extra food in the trash and put the plate in the dish washer for who ever would clean afterwards. I rested standing up against the counter with my arms folded. I sighed like before and stared at the ground drowning in my own thoughts.

You know he doesn’t like you so why would you even think he did?... Try to ignore it… Ignore it by making Taoris bigger then hunhan… Yeah, I’ll just do that. My head turned to the left and saw the wooden cube with the kitchen knifes sticking out sitting there on the counter. Something possessed me to take one and I didn’t stop myself.

I reached out and grabbed one of them. I pulled it out and looked at it. It was slim and long. It would cut skin easily that’s for sure. I took it in my hand facing it at the ground and looked at the dining room. They were all chatting and smiling, completely forgetting me. I slowly made my way to my room. I walked to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I looked at myself in the mirror for the second time today.

My eyes gazed down to the knife in my hand. I looked at my wrist and the knife once more. I placed the knife against my skin causing me to softly moan due to the coldness of the metal. I looked at how good the two looked against each other. How badly I wanted to slice my skin was not comprehendible. Something stopped me though.

What the are you doing Tao? I thought you were better then this. I can’t believe you. Just because Kris doesn’t love you back doesn’t mean you can go cutting yourself. Be a man and face the truth. Don’t be some sappy emo kid that cuts all day. [A/N: I’m absolutely not making fun of emos btw.] I sighed. My conscious was talking to me and for the first time ever… I listened to it. I removed the blade from my skin and looked in the mirror again. I looked even worst then this morning.

As soon as I placed the knife down I heard a knock on the door. “Hey Tao, hurry up. We’ll be leaving in 30 minutes.” I heard Kris say from the other side of the door. “Ok.” I replied and stared at the door for a second. Nothing happened. I looked back at the mirror and anger build up right there.

I took the knife and smashed it into the mirror screaming, “YOU BASTARD!” I drug it down breaking the mirror in half sending some tiny glass pieces flying toward me. For some old reason they hit my left arm, pushing themselves into my skin. I grabbed my arm and yelled, “!” I dropped to my knees and held my arm tightly. Tears stared threatening to spill from my eyes. I was in a really bad state as of right then.

---At the interview---

Before we went on the stage I grabbed Kris’s hand holding it close. To my surprise he didn’t pull away. We walked onto the stage holding hands and sat next to each other. The interview began, we didn’t let go of each other’s hands. My heart felt warm but at the same time knew he was doing it for the fans. I started moving closer to him wrapping my arms around his arm. I heard the fans screams get louder as I did. A smirk was pasted on my face as I laid my head against his shoulder.

Time went on and the interview came to an end. We were dismissed to leave the stage. Everyone including me bowed. Before Kris and I walked off I whispered to him, “Piggy back me off the stage.” He didn’t argue and smiled crouching down for me. I gently got on his back and my blush from the dining table returned. The screams from the crowd became even louder as we went off the stage. As soon we were off the stage he let me down and smiled at me. I smiled back. Luhan randomly danced between us singing, “Taoris fanfictions are going to sky rocket tonight~”

I blushed as Kris chuckled like he did the last time Luhan said Taoris. He chuckled and left back to the dressing room. I was still blushing as I walked back to the same room to get changed.

---Few days later at the EXO-M dorm---

Nobody’s POV:

Tao was sitting on the couch with Chen while the others were doing things around the house. They heard a knock and Chen called who ever it was inside. The manager came in and went straight to Tao and Chen. He pointed at Tao and told him to get in his room, meaning he wanted to talk to him. He seemed angry which was not a good thing for Tao. Tao got up slowly and went in the room.

The manager follow him and closed the door. Chen couldn’t just sit there. He slowly went up to the door and placed his ear against it listening closely. With Tao, he sat on the bed with the manger staring at him holding a magazine. “What the is this?!” he yelled throwing the magazine at Tao who caught it clumsily. He looked at it closely and as soon as he saw the picture his heart stopped. From loving the picture but hating who ever took it. It was a picture of Tao holding on to Kris’s hand. Tao looked up with fear in his eyes, “I- I didn’t-” The manager interrupted with a loud yell, “Read it.”

Tao did what he said quickly without any questions. He read, “EXO-M’s Tao is gay.” were the main words. Tao’s eyes widened at it. He read on, “What does one of Kris’s fangirls have to say about this: Tao better stay away from my Krisus! If he ing touches him again I will him up. Tao, if your reading this, go yourself with a because Kris would never you!” Tao’s eyes widened even more when he read the girls statement. He was more surprise they let those cuss words actually be printed.

He kept reading, “What an anti-exotic  says about this: I knew EXO was gay! Maybe it’s just Tao but I /knew/ he was gay! That screams it with his gothic look. I hate EXO so much. I’m finally happy now because at least /something/ is going right.” Tao’s eyes became watery as he kept reading the hates toward him. Even his own fangirls betrayed him.

He slowly looked up at the pissed manager. Tears slowly fell down his cheeks. “I thought we made a deal you wouldn’t tell anyone you’re gay!” He yelled. “I didn’t tell anyone!” “THEN WHAT THE IS THIS ABOUT?!” “All I did was hold Kris gege hands!” “NO! You must have told someone!” “I PROMISE I DIDN’T!” “ERRGH!” The manager yelled frustrated kicking some extra clothes that were on the floor.

He groaned and looked at the ground with his hands on his hips. Silence. He looked at the teary eyed Tao and spoke roughly, “If anyone asks you about you being gay. Tell them your not. Do you understand me?” Tao nodded with more tears falling down his cheeks. “I said! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?” He yelled wanting a actually answer. “Yes.” Tao’s voice came out no more then a whisper. The manager finally had enough and left the room with a slam of the door. Tao grabbed his covers and covered him self up completely. He began to weep. Never in his life had he weep so much. It felt good to finally let it out.

Right after Chen put his ear against the door, he listened closely to the conversation. “What the is this?!” He heard the manager yell. A few seconds of silence. Then he heard Tao mumble something only to be shout down my the manager again, “Read it.” A really long pause. Then the manager yelled shocking him, “I thought we made a deal you wouldn’t tell anyone you’re gay!” Chen’s eyes widened at the sentence. “I didn’t tell anyone!” He heard Tao yell back. He backed away from the door slightly, …Tao is gay?... Actually gay?... I… I have to tell the others.

He quickly ran to Xiumin’s room and for some odd reason the rest where in there. “GUYS!” He screamed making them all pause what they were doing. “I have something really important to tell you!” He said still shouting. “Ok, but stop shouting. Your in a house for crying out loud.” Kris told him. He nodded then got on with his news, “Tao is gay.” Everyone’s eyes widened. “What?!” Xiumin and Luhan yelled at the same time. Lay sat there staring at Chen in disbelief. Kris was looking at the bed without emotion. “How do you know this?” Xiumin asked really confused.

“I heard the manager yelling at him about him telling everyone he was gay.” Chen told them. “How come he didn’t tell us?” Lay asked now. “Because he didn’t tell anyone. Or so he says. The manager and him apparently made a deal before about Tao not telling anyone he was gay. I guess that includes us too.” Chen said biting his bottom lip. “Wait, does that mean when he was doing fanservice… He… liked it?” Luhan asked quietly. Every ones eyes widened except Kris’s. They all looked at him.

He looked at them with a confused look on his face, “What?” “…Kris… He did the most fanservice with you…” Chen whispered to him. Kris’s eye slowly grew wider. They all looked at each other on sure of what to do when they face Tao again. All of a sudden they heard a door slam shut. Chen’s head quickly turned to the door of Xiumin’s room and back at the guys, “The manager probably just let…” “I…I’m going to check on Tao…” Luhan said getting up slowly as the other guys watched him leave.

Luhan walked to Tao's door and was about to knock but he heard cries coming from inside. His heart broke a little. Is it really this bad to be gay? he thought to himself turning to leave. He walked back to Xiumin’s room where the guys were silence enough that you could hear a pin drop. Luhan sat on his bed again. “How… is he?” Kris mumbled looking at the bed again. “…He’s crying.” he stated it so plainly.

Everyone was shocked to hear that. “Why?!” Lay asked about yelling. “He’s crying, really hard…” Luhan told them ignoring Lay's question, laying against the bed facing the ceiling. “I feel so bad for him… Not knowing what he’s going though… He must have been bottling his feelings inside all this time… I…. I hate to know that…” He said barely as a whisper. The others just looked at him or at the bed.

---At an private interview with EXO-M that would  be broadcasted, it wasn’t live---

Tao put on his happy face the best he could. The others tried their best to ignore the fact that he was gay. They didn’t say anything about it. They didn’t want to ruin what they all shared. A few questions went along and then they came to a certain question from a fan. “This question is from Skylar from The United Kingdom[A/N: Random name and place :P] and is directed to Tao… She asks, Are you really gay?” Tao’s eyes widened as the members tensed up and looked at each other.

Tao felt tears coming to his eyes again but kept them locker away. “… It's not true. I am most certainly not gay. Those were just rumors.” Tao told the interviewer with a straight face. He only nodded and grabbed the next question. The rest of EXO-M looked at each other. They knew he lied. He was trying to be strong. Kris bit his lip. He didn’t want to think about how much pain Tao could be in.

“Next question, I mean comment. This one is from Mobop from the Philippines directed to Tao again.” As soon as Tao heard his name he froze up. The others just stared at their hands or the floor. “Tao, Lis-….” the man stopped and looked at Tao then walked out of the view of the screen to talk to the director. Tao knew it was bad. It was probably something he read on that magazine. The rest of EXO-M had no idea what was on the sheet.

The interviewer came back in the shot and sat down again, “I’m sorry if this offensive to anyone watching… Tao, listen here you gay .” Tao could already feel the tears coming. The rest of EXO-M eyes widened. They were shocked at these words. The man continued, “Kris is mine. So don’t touch him with your dirty gross gay hands.” Tao couldn’t stop them. He started silently crying. Kris’s eyes widened at he heard the message. Was this really that out of control?

“He isn’t gay so back off. Go yourself since you have no one to you.” the manager finished. The room became quiet. Tao had tears dripping down his cheeks from silently crying. The others couldn’t bare to see something so heartbreaking. Luhan jumped up, “Cut! We can’t do this!” He said hugged Tao tightly walking him out of the room to the dressing room with the rest of the band following closely. He sat next to Tao on the couch in the room while the others crowded around it.

“I’m so sorry, Tao.” Luhan whispered hugging Tao close to him. Making him feel the warmth of his embrace. Tao didn’t hold back like he did in the other room. He glomp hugged Luhan and started bawling. He couldn’t hold it in. Lay turned around so he didn’t watch and walked to the counter. He placed his hands on it and sighed. Xiumin and Chen felt like they couldn’t even hear Tao cry from fear of crying themselves so they left.

Kris stared at the weeping Tao. His heart was stung pretty badly. He was close to Tao. So close that it was like he could almost feel his pain. He sighed and crouched down to Tao’s level. Luhan saw and let go of him and only put his arm around him. Kris looked at Tao with sad eyes. Tao looked at the ground with tears still falling slowly. “Hey..” Kris whispered.

“Hey, look at me.” he whispered but Tao ignored his request. Kris gently put his hand on Tao’s wet cheek and tilted his head to look at him. Tao blushed really hard. “I don’t know what your going through right now… But we all want to help you get through it…” Kris told him wrapping his arms around him tightly. Luhan got up moving over to Lay so the two’s hug wouldn’t be interrupted. Tao couldn’t help but hug back even with his very noticeable blush. Kris didn’t care he was hugging a gay who could potentially like him. He was hugging his friend. A friend he cared about, a lot.

---

Interview after interview after interview. They all ended the same way. With Tao crying. Tao was in the worst state of his life. He was bullied… By his fans.

---

Tao’s POV:

I sat on my bed crying like I did after every interview. I had become so much softer since this began. I’ve been in so much pain. My heart hurts so much. It breaks even more when I hear the word ‘exotic’. What am I now? Do I even have any exotic fans for me anymore? Do they care? Or do they all hate me now? It seems like I’m alone. Only people to help me is the band. I can’t even be near them though. I feel like they get hurt when I’m around.

I sighed as I got up and went into my bathroom. I locked my door and stared at myself in the broken in half mirror. My eyes were red and really puffy. Dry tears were stuck on my face. I looked horrible. Not as much as I felt though… I looked at my sink and saw that knife I had brought in here about a 3 week ago. I never brought it back to the kitchen. I picked it up and looked at it. I examined the fine edge that could slice through my skin so easily. “Tao… Don’t do it. Your just hurting yourself by doing this.” my conscious was speaking to me again. I didn’t listen this time, “That’s the point…” I whispered placing the knife along my wrist.

I slid it sideways creating a line of blood. The sting… It… It feels so good. I did it again. The sting. It was… It felt like my pain was cut clean from my body. I smiled. I actually smiled. Not a fake one. An actual smile. I cut a line again and again. Until I got to 8 cuts along my wrist I stopped. I looked in the mirror and saw my hand was covered in blood, the knife the same. I took in a shake yet deep sigh and a smirk grew on my face. “I feel so good right now…” I whispered to myself. I stayed where was for about 20 minutes letting the pain seep in. I finally was to sleepy to stand anymore so I left my bathroom and went to my bed. I passed out very quickly.

I woke up by Lay shaking me awake. I yawed and looked at him, “Hmm?” “Get dressed. We have a surprise photo shoot today.” I nodded and he left me to get dressed.

I removed my shirt and pants and went to my closet.  I knew the stylist were probably going to tell us to change so I grabbed comfortable things. Sweats and a wife beaters. As I put it on, I remembered my cuts. I looked at my left arm and saw scars. They were red and visible. I quickly put on a hoodie to cover them. Then I was good and left to the living room. Everyone was ready except Xiumin. He was still eating. Once he finished we all left.

Once we all got to the build we went to get changed. They gave me clothes and I went to the bathroom to change without checking them. Every since the band found out about me being gay I would always change in the bathroom so they wouldn’t feel weird. They don’t ask about it so I guess I’m ok doing it. I removed my sweats, hoodie, and wife beater. I put on my new clothes. It was skinny jeans and a white top. It wasn’t long sleeved though. I started panicking. You could see my scars. I regretted them now but quickly threw that thought away remembering how good they felt.

“Mmm… What about I going to do?” I groaned pacing around the bathroom. Then the door opened. Without hesitation I put my arm behind my back and looked to see who it was, it was Kris. “Hey Tao, we’re starting now.” I nodded, “Ok Gege. I’ll be out there in a minute.” He nodded and smiled before he left. I felt my heart flutter when he smile that smile at me. It was warming.

I quickly moved on though and looked at my arm again. I groaned in frustration. “Be a man. Go out there and be a ing man!” I sighed and held myself a fighting sign. I walked out the door with my hand behind my back. The director came over to me, “Alright Tao. This first picture with be you and Kris.” Just my luck. I nodded and he walked me over to Kris who smiled at me. “Ok, Kris stand in your position… Tao put your left arm on his shoulder and the other on your hip.”

MOTHER ING BASTARDS! I shyly smiled, “Do I have to?” The director looked at me kind of funny and nodded. “R-really?” I half whined. “Tao, you have to.” I nodded and put my arm on Kris’s shoulder but faced it at a weird angle so no one would see my scars. The director sighed, “Tao… Please be professional.” I bit my lip. . . . Do it. I slowly turned by arm normal making my scars be seen to the director. He stared at my arm not saying a word. He took in a sigh and looked at me, “We can edit it out.” Was all he said before he went behind the camera area. Kris wasn’t bothering to look at what he meant. He stared straight ahead.

So, we began the photo shoot. We took several pictures without interruption. Until our 7th picture. I started to hear some noonas talking about my cuts. Which lead to me being gay. I tried to ignore them but one comment made me stop completely and stare at them with a hurt look on my face. She said, “Tao is gay and now he cuts himself? Aish, that boy has problems!” I stared at them hurt by their words. I was getting ing bullied while working now! Kris looked at me and the director called a cut once he noticed I wasn’t moving. I felt the tears coming. I turned to everyone who was working and finally let them have a piece of my mind.

“WHO CARES IF I’M ING GAY! WHO CARES IF I CUT!! WHO ING CARES!! EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT OK! EVERYONE HAS PROBLEMS! EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN THINGS TO DEAL WITH! YOU DON’T NEED TO GET IN MY LIFE!” As I was yelling Kris grabbed my arms trying to get me to stop but I pushed him away knocking him to the ground. I was to pissed off. To pissed off that I started to cry while I yelled. “YOU DON’T NEED TO INSULT ME FOR THE THINGS I DO! YOU ARE YOU AND I AM ME! OFF, OK! LEAVE TAO TO TAO!” I couldn’t take it anymore. I started bawling and I ran to the bathroom.

I curled into a ball in the corner of the bathroom. I didn’t know what I was feeling. I had to many emotions running through me at that moment. I just sat there crying. I cried and cried not stopped. I was making my make up slip off my face. I probably looked like a mess. Just then the door opened. I looked up quickly and saw Kris walking to me. I quickly put my head back between my knees and wept silently. He crouched next to me. He didn’t say a word he just hugged me. I looked at him, unsure of what I was feeling. “Tao… I care so much about you… Please…” He took my left wrist and examined it.

His eyes looked dead as he looked at it. Then… he gently placed a kiss on the cuts. My eyes widened, Why is he toying with my emotions?! I quickly pulled my wrist away and pushed him away. His expression was shocked as he was pushed on his with his hands holding him up. I looked at him and tears started falling even more, “HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH MY EMOTIONS! YOU KNOW I LIKE YOU! WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING WHEN YOUR NOT EVEN GAY! LOOK!... I know you don’t care. It’s only because we’re on the same band…isn’t it?” He stared at me. He slowly got on his knees and shook his head and hugged me again.

This time I blushed. “Trust me on this Tao… I care about you. Because your special to me… Yeah, I don’t like you in that way, yet.” He emphasized the yet. My eyes widened. “What do you mean ye-” I began but he stopped me with a kiss. My heart stopped and my eyes widened. He pulled away after seconds and looked at me, “Make me gay for you Tao. I want you to make me gay for you. And only you.” I was to shocked to speak. To many things happened right then. I almost died thinking about it all.

Before I could even start to though Kris got up and held out his hand for me. I slowly took it, holding on to it tightly. He pulled me up and didn’t let go of my hand. “We’re going to get through this together. I will be there to protect you from now  on, ok.” he told me with a soft smile. My heart skipped a beat as I saw his warm smile. I slowly nodded and we headed out the door hand in hand to face the world together this time.

Together.