What do you do, if one day, the girl that you love so much, just disappears? No word of warning, no goodbyes, no kisses.. Hell, you didn't even know that THAT moment, when she turned around and walked away was the moment everything you two shared ended. 

 

You wait and you wait, for a call, or a text. You stay up until midnight, waiting for your phone to ring, to hear her voice... You leave countless of messages, yet a single answer never came. 

 

Seconds to minutes. Minutes to hours. Hours to days. And days to weeks... Your worry begin to grow. Why hasn't she called yet? What happened to her friends? Even her closest friend knows nothing.

 

You walk around busy streets, parks filled with kids and your heart clenches. If she was here, you would have taken her on a date. Held her hand like the countless of couples you've seen... Build a home, take care of your own children...

 

You choke from pain, a single tear falling from your eyes, followed by another. You turn your head to the sky, and ask "why", fully crying like a fool. 

 

On better nights, when you remember that drinking can ease the pain a little, you fish out a small box in your pocket, gently opening it and looking at the small ring...

 

The ring you had prepared for her...

 

 

 

 

 

Weeks turns to months. You should have been over her, right? 

 

Yet you can't forget her smile. Can't forget the facts...

 

Facts like she just left you, and you're left there, alone and hanging. Even after months, you're still desperate to hear another word from her. You pass by her dorm, her house, ask around. What happened to her? Where did she go? Did you do anything wrong? Was your love a simple lie? 

 

And sometimes, you cry yourself to sleep at night. Silent, as your whole body shakes from pain, your heart clenching as you gasp for air. Your own members avoiding to say her name. Hell, even you yourself is so afraid to turn on the television, so afraid to hear her voice singing in one of the tracks...

 

So afraid yet so desperate at the same time. 

 

In pain, yet still in love...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If one looked through the window outside, a person peeking from underneath the darkening sky would have been been able to see a man holding a pen. Upon closer look, the said man could be seen shaking, until seemingly, and for no reason, he collapses. His face hidden by the confinement of his arms, his muscles flexed and his chest heaved from tiny sobs.

 

The room which held the man was near-empty. There was nothing in it, except for a single chair, a writing table and a bed, centered on the length of the wall - a bed huge enough for at least two people to sleep in. A stranger would have asked why, and wondered what a single man could possibly need a bed that big. Then that same stranger would most likely have shrugged off and walked away, thinking that the man inside probably have a wife living with him. 

 

The stranger would never have cared or even noticed the lack of a woman's touch on the near-empty room. Like always, they would just assume that the couple was newly moved-in. But what if there was no couple? And that the man didn't even live in the house?

 

And that the house that was supposed to hold his future, holds nothing now? A place, though completely new, would never be used? A place, where he hoped to start building memories at have now lost all of its potential........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Byunghee stood up after he recovered himself. There was no point in going here. He knew that, yet he couldn't help it. He took a box underneath the table and lifted up the lid, dozens of envelopes half filled the space. Unsent letters he had written, some addressed to her, some to God, or places unknown. He wrote them, devoid of chronological order, to help him write out what he felt. 

 

He remembered the first letter he had ever written, addressed to her. He remembered every word, his texts... The way he acted like a fool. 

 

He chuckled darkly. 

 

, was he still a fool. A fool waiting on nothing. 

 

She left you, remember? She doesn't love you.

 

He forced the thought in his head and endured the pain that came with it. No matter how much it hurt, he couldn't help but believe it to be the truth. 

 

He sniffed and bit his lips. Another tear fell onto the paper by his lap. How many had he shed tonight? Over the weeks and months? He didn't even know. 

 

Byunghee took a deep breath and ignored the pain in his chest. He brought his hands up, the newly written letter held inside before he folded it carefully. He inserted the letter in a plain white envelope before putting the whole thing in the box and closed its lid. He returned the box to where it was before standing up. 

 

There. His thoughts, just like his feelings, were now safely tucked away, placed at a location no one knew about or cared. A location that held all of his hopes and dreams. 

 

He looked around the room, at would have been their bedroom and smiled painfully. He knew he should sell the place, but he couldn't. How could he, when he had spent most of his savings to buy it? And when he had placed his whole future, or what was left of it hidden in the house?

 

Yet, like his heart, the house would never be able to function the way it was supposed to. There was no point..

 

A ring echoed off the walls. His cellphone indicated a call. He took a few seconds before he decided to answer.

 

Jooyeon - one of his closest friends. 

 

"Yeoboseyo?" his voice came out gruffly. 

 

"Ya! Where have you been? Your members are worried sick. You randomly disappeared after the show. Did anything happen?" her soothing voice scolded him. 

 

Should he tell the truth? Worry his bestfriend? He didn't want to. In fact, had it been a different time, he would have laughed her question off. But not this time. He was in too much pain..

 

He gulped before bringing his free hand on his hair and pulling on it. 

 

"Byunghee-ah.." she whispered into the phone, feeling scared this time. "Are you there? Talk to me. Please." she begged the man on the other line. 

 

"She's back." he replied, the two words already ripped the seems he had put away in the box. And as if the incident happened a second time in his eyes, the pain flashed in his chest. 

 

He leaned on the wall and collapsed on the floor. How could he be so weak? He's a man after all.. And he had survived months without her...

 

Yet how could a single smile have destroyed all he had built for? 

 

And that smile wasn't even for me...

 

"Byunghee-yah! Byunghee-yah!" He could hear Jooyeon's voice getting more frantic on the other end. "Where are you? I'm coming!"

 

The man brought his knees up and hugged them. Staring at the wall, a recurring dream of an old memory played in his head. Only in here, it was a different voice, a different time - a happy one. Their first date.

 

And the voice called his name.... It kept echoing inside his head.

 

The voice of Lee Minyoung.