The weather when he first met her (properly, since he only saw glimpses of her from afar before) was chilly. Summer had just turned into autumn, but already the warmth has faded away, replaced by the faint scent of the upcoming winter and the changing colours in the scenery. There were clouds floating in the sky, and when he saw the sight of her, a soft breeze rushed by. Her long hair was caught by the air and danced along to the rhythm of the wind.

She was sitting by herself on a bench under an old cherry blossom tree not far from the soccer field. Like every other girl in their school, she was wearing the school uniform, but for some reason he thought it looked much prettier on her. He didn’t really know what made him do that, but he decided to approach her and offer her a smile. And when she smiled back, albeit hesitantly, something lit up inside him. There was a fluttering feeling in his heart, and immediately he realized that that was how falling in love feels like.

Chorong lost her ability to speak at the age of nine after witnessing her house being caught on fire with her family members inside. She didn’t know whether she was fortunate or otherwise, but she happened to be with her aunt who took her out for some treats at the time of the incident.

She didn’t cry seeing the raging flames and the black smokes arising from her house. She didn’t scream either, and wouldn’t speak even with force. Not a single word escaped out of afterwards, not even a single syllable.

Suho couldn’t really understand why people refused to let Chorong in just because “she’s a bit different”. They avoided her as if she had some sort of a contagious fatal disease. They made fun of her as if she was some sort of a fool, and when she came near they scrambled away in an instant as if she was some sort of an alien.

When he went to sit next to her under the cherry blossom tree, it was clear on her face how surprised she was. Why are you here? She wrote on a notebook she always kept with her.

“Let me be your friend,” he simply answered.

Why?

“Can’t I?”

She looked away into the distance. Over at the field, a team had just scored a goal and there was commotion in the air to celebrate the victory. Despite that, there were still pairs of eyes directed at the two, and there were hushed whispers exchanged between them. Chorong turned to her notebook again and scribbled something. But people would talk.

For a moment, Suho said nothing. He glanced at the bystanders before returning his attention to her, placed his hand on hers, and smiled. “That’s alright. Let them be,” he said. “And if they do, I’ll be your guardian.”

When she heard those words, she found that her heart skipped a beat. There was a strange sensation in the pit of her stomach, and it felt as if the dark clouds had cleared up and a sun had risen inside of her.

The first time she heard him sing was when he brought her to the music room to celebrate her 17^th birthday. He made her sit next to him on the stool and played her the song she loved on piano before slowly shifting it to the birthday song which drew a smile upon her face.

You’re good, she motioned at him with her hands. By this time he had already mastered the basics of sign language and still learning so that it would be easier for her to speak to him without always needing a paper and pen. You never mentioned you can sing.

“You never asked,” he replied with a smirk. He casted his eyes down at his fingers, his shoulders suddenly seemed heavy. “I’m still lacking a lot, but I’m learning. You see, I―” Suho paused and looked at her. His cheeks were flushing a bit, and he could feel his ears burning. “I want to sing. It may sound silly, and pretty much immature and unrealistic, but someday I want to stand on a stage and sing. Songs that will inspire people, songs that will make people laugh, songs that will make them remember past memories, songs that will warm their heart.” He carefully takes her hand and squeezes it gently. “Songs that will put a smile on your face ― I want to sing them all.”

Chorong smiled at him. Outside, snow started to fall, painting the world white and clean and cold. She slowly pulled her hand back and he took off his scarf and wrapped it around her neck. The day you realize your dream… When you stand on the stage and sing those beautiful songs, can I be there? she asked, biting her lips.

Inside, butterflies kept fluttering in his stomach and he wondered if they will ever be gone. “Of course,” he grinned. “You’ll stand right in front, and you’ll be the only one I see.”

When they both closed their eyes as he leaned in to brush his lips against hers, he prayed with all his heart that the butterflies will never go away.

She brought him to the park on his birthday. They sat on the grass surrounded by a sea of greens and lilacs and marigolds beneath the vast canvas of blue blue sky that expands forever, their shoulders brushing against one another whenever they steal glances at each other. Puffs of white mists escaped their mouth as they breathed.

“I don’t like the fact that you’re older than me,” Suho said, his head tilted and his nose scrunched.

Chorong nudged his shoulder and when he finally shifted his gaze at her, she smiled. It’s only two months, her hands told him.

“Still.”

She nudged him again. This time, her smile was a little sadder. Sorry I can’t sing you a birthday song like you did for me.

He grinned back, the cheeky and boyish one. “Just saying sorry isn’t enough,” he teased with a shake of his head. She frowned slightly, but he just simply lifted his eyes at an enormous arch in the sky. “Hey look, a rainbow! Isn’t it pretty?” She nodded, and he returned his gaze at her and scrunched his nose again when he saw the twinkles in her eyes. “I changed my mind,” he shrugged. “You’re prettier.”

They were sitting at his veranda, munching on watermelon while listening to the chirps of the crickets and faraway birds whose names they tried to guess earlier but failed miserably. There was a faint sound of children giggling and squealing from the nearby field. A gush of wind blew and caressed their face, bringing along miniscule dusts and heat. Summer had yet to arrive, but the weather was already dripping hot.

What are you thinking of? she asked when she noticed his gaze on her.

“I’m just wondering how your voice sounds like,” he answered, smiling and shaking his head slightly. “Must be pretty, like the person.”

She stared at him for a while, then put down her watermelon slice. Listen, she instructed, her face serious and determined. She coughed a little and cleared . “Ssuu―” Her voice came out hoarse and husky. Worried, he grabbed her hand and told her not to force herself, but she protested. It’s alright, she tried to say. I can do this. Again, she cleared . “Suu―” she began again with much difficulty. “Ho.”

Suho froze the moment he heard her say his name. He blinked once, twice, and simply stared at her. “Did I hear that right?”

She nodded, and then tried once more for him. Her voice was still hoarse and raw, but this time somewhat smoother and clearer. “Su… ho.”

He didn’t realize he had been holding his breath until he choked out tears. And as Chorong reached out to wipe them away, he held it tight on his face, a smile apparent on his lips. “Thank you,” he whispered. That day, Suho realized that one can cry from overflowing happiness as well.

It wasn’t until he felt a soft nudge on his arm that he opened his eyes. He took in everything in his surrounding ― the crowd, the noise, the tension in the air ― before darting his eyes to meet Chorong’s gentle yet concerned gaze. He tilted his head and she watched, her hand tight in his. Are you afraid? she mouthed.

He looked away at the faceless people around him, each and every one dreaming the same dream as him. He wondered who among them would make it through and be able to have that spotlight directed their way. He wondered if he could be winner in the end, or if he’d be the one being stepped upon by others.

One boy turned his way, his eyes big and hopeful and tense, and Suho could almost see his hands shuddering. The boy smiled at him, and he smiled back. Still, he thought it was funny how these people appeared so friendly, yet some would do anything they could to be the more advantageous, far better one than the rest to be able to stand on top in the end.

Suho felt another squeeze in his hand and he returned his gaze at Chorong, realizing that he had been thinking too much about the answer to a question he had forgotten. The corners of her lips grew when his eyes met hers, so he did the same. Are you afraid? she repeated her question.

He wanted to be strong, to be brave, to be confident like he always had for her, but just for this once he decided to be honest and to show her his flaws, and thus he only nodded. “Yeah,” he exhaled.

Don’t be, she told him. I’m here.

And that was enough for him to walk in to the audition room, face the men in suits all wearing the same worn out expression, and sing to his heart’s content. That was enough for him to keep his face straight from the second he exited the room until Chorong reached for his arm with that concerned look on her face, when he finally broke the news and showed her the passing letter.

When he saw her smile and her glistening eyes, he thought her quiet whispers to him and the feeling of her fingers entwined in his are more than enough.

On graduation day, there were tears in everyone’s eyes, including her, especially him.

He found her in the midst of confetti and flowers and hugs, along with flashes from all range of cameras, hats being tossed to the air and text books and notes being tossed away. There were tears and smiles everywhere, promises made to be friends and to stay in touch forever when everyone knew none of them would keep. There were snowflakes rested on top of her head and her smile when she caught his eyes was all he could see.

Chorong took his hand and led him away, away from the noise and frenzy, away to the quietness of the music room. As they sat next to each other on the bench behind the grand piano he remembered their memory there just eleven months ago and smiled to himself.

She looked at him and grinned, and Suho thought he saw a tint of sadness in her eyes. To support you and your ambition, I would like to present you a gift.

“A gift?”

She didn’t reply but simply lifted the piano case and gently placed her fingers on the perfectly lined keys. The sound that was produced from her fingertips was as sweet and delicate as the sound of wind chimes tinkling on a breezy summer day. Suho could tell she had been practicing a lot, and that made him happy.

He grinned and clapped for her as soon as she was done. Her cheeks flushed a little and she shook her head shyly. “You never mentioned you can play.”

You never asked, she signed back. She winked when he recalled the similar answer he gave her last year and he could only laugh in return.

Then silence fell between them. Suho darted his eyes outside. Snow was still falling, the silver flakes fluttering slowly in the air. The noise had died down, and he wondered if everyone had gone home and they were the only ones left. “Do you still remember the promise we made here?”

She nodded.

“Promise me another thing.”

She cocked her head to the side. What?

“When I leave tomorrow, don’t come. I don’t want you to be there.”

Why?

“Because I won’t be able to leave.”

Chorong took his hand and squeezed it, fingers interlaced between one another. She smiled, nodded again, and rested her head on his shoulder. They closed their eyes and let the silence engulfed them as they listened to each other breathe.

You won’t forget me, right?

Never.

The texts came frequently at first. Sometimes he’d call her just to let her hear his voice even if he couldn’t hear hers, late at night when the lights had been turned off, and he’d hid under his blankets even though his roommate was deep asleep. Sometimes he’d sing, and if he heard his roommate stir he’d clear his throat and pretend to be coughing or sleep talking while Chorong laughed.

Most of the times she ended up falling asleep on the other end of the line and Suho chuckled at her light snoring and wondered who’s the one lacking in sleep.

The texts started to decrease and so did the calls. When he did call he’d tell her he’s sorry and she’d try her best to say it’s okay.

Somewhere along the line she stopped answering and at some point he stopped calling, and as he stared into the darkness of the night while waiting for himself to fall asleep he wondered whether, just like breads, milk, the ramyuns he eats late at night, there were expiration dates for promises as well.

On the nights when he missed her the most, always she would appear in his dream. And the dream would always be same one.

He finds her sitting on the bench under the old cherry blossom tree near the soccer field where he first met her. There is no one around, and even though it is snowing lightly, somehow it isn’t really that chilly. The white snowflakes that are swaying in the air resemble the fluttering red and brown leaves from that day, and that warms his heart.

“What are you thinking of?” he asks.

Instead of replying through her hand gestures, she takes out her notebook and writes her answer in an empty page. Remember the song you sang for me for my birthday?

“Of course.”

Can you sing it again?

“Of course.”

So he sings again. He forgets some bits of the lyrics and his sheepish grin makes her laugh, but still it is as beautiful as the first time. When he’s done singing, the snow stops descending and they can see the sun peeking out shyly from behind the clouds.

Then she turns to look at him. Suho remembers seeing her rosy cheeks. She opens to say something, but nothing comes out. He raises his brows questioningly, but she just smiles and shakes her head lightly although her eyes are saying the opposite.

And it stops there. Always right there.

And he would wake up covered in sweat despite it being winter.

The spotlight was bright, so bright that when he opened his eyes he could barely see the mass of people gathering down there. The brightness blinded him, and soon applauses and cheers and squeals and all the echoes filled the air, but his heart wasn’t quite there. The heat seeped into his skin, causing beads of sweat to trickle down his face and every inch of his body.

It’s not supposed to be like this, he thought as his eyes roamed around the hall through the faces of the people there. They were all screaming his name, but ironically he was searching for one who wasn’t, or rather, can’t. But it wasn’t there ― the silent voice that his heart longed for the most. It’s not supposed to be like this.

He bowed down as soon as the music ended. His eyes wandered away again, trying to search for that very pair of eyes among hundreds of others. His heart swelled up inside. Maybe after all promises are meant to be broken, to remain empty and to just rot away like how dried leaves do once they’ve succumbed down to the earth, like how the snowflakes melt into mere liquid once the sun comes out.

Suho breathed in long and deep, and when he exhaled he felt almost ready to let go of everything. He heard the cue for the next song via the earpiece he was wearing. The final song for his first ever stage Chorong used to be so excited about, smiling so widely each time they talked about it as if it was her own dream. Now he was realizing that very dream and the fact that she wasn’t there with him somehow amused him.

Taking a seat on the high chair the staffs prepared earlier, he adjusted the microphone and neared it to his mouth. “The final song is actually a song that is very dear to me. Please enjoy it.” He heard the audiences clapping and he cleared his throat.

Then there was that soft tinkle of the piano, slowly evolving into a gentle melody all too familiar to him. In his head he travelled back in time to those days spent with her. He wondered where she was, who she was with, what she was doing, and perhaps who she was loving. He wondered what happened to her, if she still remembered him and if he still crossed her mind every once in a while. He didn’t realize he was crying all along until the song ended and cheers filled the room once again.

Perhaps it was that thing people call intuition, because something inside of him made him turn to look behind at the staffs and the band members. Perhaps it was his imagination, because he saw her in the midst of the rest, sitting behind the grand piano, wearing the same smile as the one he embedded in his memory. Perhaps it was her own supposedly funny way to pull a prank on him, because the moment she caught his gaze she winked and made a quick “Surprise!” sign. He could only laugh as tears emerged from his eyes.

As he stared at her, rubbing his eyes to make sure it was his mind playing tricks on him a couple of times in between, his frustrations and disappointments, all those lonely days and nights he went through suddenly didn’t matter anymore. She was here and she didn’t forget their promise, and that was all for him.

The noise died out and everything else blurred away for them. The curtains closed and they were the only ones left in their world. And in that one moment, as he quietly and slowly moved his hands to signal a certain gesture at her, the ghosts of their younger selves returned and once again their hearts were filled with dreams, hopes, and love.

A/N: First of all I did not proofread this even though I told V I'd reread it the last time I asked for her opinion, so please ignore (or kindly point it out) if you find any mistakes. This is after all the longest oneshot I've ever written so BE VERY HAPPY M! Second of all, it somehow turned out a bit different than I expected. Funnily I wrote the first 1000 words in a breeze, but the rest took me the whole month. I almost gave up on it and if it wasn't for you I would've abandoned this, so I'm sorry for the quality especially towards the end Y.Y I still hope you love it because if you don't I'd be mad. Again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I love youuu ♥