It Took Him Her Life.
It Took Him Her Life.
Play this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1knVmX_TTB4
(B.A.P. - Voicemail)
I sat there, eyes glued to the screen with tears rolling down my cheeks.
So Junhong was right.
Himchan had been seeing Eunjung.
The proof was right in front of my eyes, where a local news anchor had spotted their scandalous rendezvous.
With my slightly shaking hand, I switched off the irritatingly loud TV and trudged back into the comfort of my bed.
The bed that I shared with my husband, Kim Himchan.
Yes, we were officially married for two years now, but we kept it a secret from the media because Himchan did not want the press and his fans to pester me in my normal life.
I have never worked, I lived as a housewife, only going out of my house for groceries or if I was going to his schedules.
My parents had gone overseas last year and are intending to stay in LA until my younger sister finishes another two years of high school.
All these while, I had asked Himchan why he was coming home later than usual when I already knew his schedule like that back of my hands.
"It got delayed," or "There was a traffic jam," and sometimes even "We had supper together," was his usual answer.
I would normally wait for him to come back home, then I would be sleeping.
But seeing that he was probably out having fun with Eunjung, I decided to retire early.
I got into bed, bringing Tatsmato along with me.
My Tatsmato is not like any other stuffed doll that stores sell to fangirls.
I actually made him myself, as a present to both Himchan and myself, nine months after our honeymoon.
You would probably want to know why I wanted it to be so special, nine months after our honeymoon.
That was the estimated due date for our first born baby.
However, I had a miscarriage slightly after the first month of my checkup.
I did not tell Himchan about expecting a baby at all, because I knew Himchan might blow up and become overprotective of me and the child.
And the miscarriage would only make him go crazy.
So I made Tatsmato, in replacement to our child.
I had always treated Tatsmato as a real child, as if he was alive.
Himchan would look at me like I have gone crazy whenever I talk to Tats with a motherly aura.
But right now, I guess I would be better off talking to Tats than Himchan.
So I tucked myself in bed with Tatsmato in Himchan's side of the bed.
---
I squirmed as I felt warmth.
Opening my eyes, I saw that Himchan had taken his original place and Tatsmato was on the floor beside the bed.
He had an arm wrapped around my waist, keeping me close to his top.
Immediately, I felt like I had committed adultery with Himchan, even though he is my husband.
But the thought of Himchan and Eunjung together crossed my mind and it was like I was the third party, coming in between the lovers.
I got out of bed and freshened myself before walking out into the kitchen.
I made myself a toast bread with strawberry jam spread.
A minute later, my name was called out.
"(_____)-ah~~" Himchan bellowed from the bedroom.
I knew he was still on bed.
"N-nehh?" I answered.
"Go down and buy me my Americano. I can't go to work later if I don't have my Americano. I'm leaving in a few."
I did not reply to him and just walked out of the apartment with my wallet.
After getting his order, I opened the apartment door, only to find him sitting on the floor in front of the shoe rack, wearing his shoes.
Himchan looked up and grinned, "I knew I could count on my wife to be just in time."
He stood up, took the cup of Americano from my hand and walked out the front door.
The door closed behind me and I continued on with my daily routine of washing clothes, cleaning up and making lunch for the boys.
I was close to all the members of B.A.P., including their manager.
They have become like my elder and younger brothers because I would always make sure everyone had eaten lunch and dinner whenever I was around.
That afternoon, I had packed kimbap for everyone that was going to be at their photo shoot.
I took the lunch and went over to their schedule in a cab.
"(_____) Noona is here again! Yipeeee~~~!" Junhong began jumping up and down the moment his eyes laid itself on me.
The staff cheered, knowing I had brought food for them.
Yongguk, who had just finished his round of pictures, came up to me and patted my shoulders.
"You saw, didn't you?" He said, referring to the scandal that was on the news yesterday night.
I nodded but kept my smile, "It's okay Oppa. I just want him by my side, I don't really have any more time to complain. My life is numbered."
His lips became a thin line and he dragged me away from listening ears.
"Have you gone for your checkup?" He started once we got into the changing room.
"No, it's scheduled for tomorrow. I'll go there tomorrow, don't worry. Anyways i haven't been feeling anything wrong. In fact, the nauseous feeling I used to get every morning is gone. I think I might just have a chance of getting better." I smiled at him, reassuring him that everything was okay.
We went back out and mingled with everyone.
I made sure everyone had eaten their share before I took out another container of kimbap.
Daehyun came closer to me, his eyes shining.
I giggled to myself when I saw him his lips.
"This is for Himchan, Daehyun-ah. You know he doesn't like the cucumber kimbap so I made the egg kimbap for him." I explained.
His shoulders deflated and he was about to go back.
"Do you want one? I think I made more than enough for only Himchan." I mused.
Daehyun's head whipped back and nodded fervently, a wide smile paltered on his face.
"Thanks (_____)-ie. You're the best chingu I could ever ask for!" He thanked with his mouth filled.
I chuckled after he went off to boast that I had given him one of Himchan's kimbap.
Himchan came over after his photo shoot and sat beside me.
"You know me too well, (_____)-ah," he patted my head and took a couple of kimbap, stuffing his mouth.
Before I could speak a word with him, his phone vibrated.
Himchan unlocked his phone and started grinning as he typed away on his phone.
I guess that was Eunjung, and my cue to leave.
I stood up, leaving the unfinished container of egg kimbap with Himchan.
"Noona! Are you leaving already?" Youngjae asked when he saw me putting on my jacket.
I looked over at him and the rest of the members, nodding my head.
"Aww~ I wanted to show Noona my new skateboard trick," Junhong pouted.
"You can show it to me tomorrow, Junhongie."
I waved goodbye to them and glanced at the still oblivious Himchan.
Sighing, I walked out of the photo shoot and back home.
---
"Hey baby," I whispered to the stuffed doll as I lied in bed.
"I have two choices right now. One is that we go find another daddy for you. And the second one is that I leave you with Himchan Oppa when I'm gone. But I'm just afraid that he'll abuse you and treat you like you're nothing. And you're not nothing, Tats-yah. You're our first born. And you will forever be my baby. Mummy loves you."
I sighed and tucked the doll in Himchan's place again.
I was about to fall asleep when the room door opened and the light came on.
"Are you seriously sleeping with that stupid doll again?" Himchan furrowed his eyebrows and stepped closer.
I quickly covered Tatsmato's bunny ears, "Aniyo baby. Daddy didn't say anything about you."
I turned back to Himchan and scolded him lightly, "Don't say that in front of Tatsmato, you'll teach him bad words."
He scoffed at me.
"And to think Yongguk Hyung is the only one with an obsession over his Tigger. Your mental state is getting worser every day," Himchan shook his head.
He climbed into bed and grabbed on to Tatsmato's ears, about to throw him down the bed.
However, I held on to Tatsmato tightly.
"No, I want to sleep with my baby tonight. Just leave him in the middle," I whined.
Himchan groaned, "Whatever."
He let go of the doll and turned to his side, facing away from me.
---
The next day came and as usual, I had to go get his caffeine.
He went out the door the moment I came back.
I shook my head dejectedly before taking out my phone and texting Yongguk.
'I won't be coming down to the recording studio today.
My checkup is scheduled at noon.
Mian Oppa.
Make sure everyone eats their lunch for me, okay?
Especially Daehyunnie, he's always extra hungry during lunch.
Thank you Oppa.
And wish me luck for the checkup.
^_^
-(_____)ie'
Without wasting anymore time, I got dressed and made my way to the hospital.
There was quite a short queue in front of my as I waited for the nurse to call me up.
It was a long wait, though the short queue, because each person takes at least 15 minutes, and there were only two available doctors.
When it was my turn, I had to go through a few examining machines to further check my condition and make sure that I was thoroughly fine.
It was another long wait as I sat there, staring at the doctor's door.
"Kim (_____)-sshi?" A nurse called out my name and ushered me into the room.
I sat on the empty chair across the doctor's table, facing her.
Her face was grim and I knew my chances of getting better had just been flushed down the drain.
"Is it getting worse?" I choked, feeling my tears building in my eye.
"I'm afraid so, (_____)-ah. I've been your doctor ever since you first came in and was pregnant. And not once did I get to see your husband come with you. Are you sure he knows about your condition?" She spoke.
I looked down, "H-he does.. But he's just been.. B-busy with work."
She nodded, "I see. Well as your doctor I can only make sure I've done my part. Now, let's talk about your brain tumor."
The doctor stood up and lead me to a blank screen as she placed two pictures of my brain on it.
"if you look over here, this is how your tumor was the previous month." She pointed to a white spot at the top of my head.
"And this, my dear, is how much bigger it has grown in the span of one month. It's the size of a peanut now. I'm pretty sure you think it didn't grow much, but it only needs to grow a millimeter to get your life into a risk."
I shook my head, "But I've been doing so well this month! I didn't even get any nauseous feeling when I wake up anymore! This can't be true."
My tears were already falling down my face.
She sighed.
"When your brain tumor gets worse, it stops hurting you on the surface. You won't feel like your condition is getting worse. But in actual fact, the brain tumor has started to manifest on the inside. I'm sorry (_____)-ah, but you will need to get a surgery and therapy."
"What are the chances?"
"Firstly,the survival rate from the surgery is only 17%. But then even if you do make it through, there is a high possibility of 75% that you will become a vegetable for the rest of your life. The therapy may slowly help you to regain back your muscles to move your arms and legs, but it could take a very long time."
I nodded in understanding.
"I'll do whatever it takes, doctor. So when can I schedule the surgery."
Smiling gratefully, the doctor went back to her desk.
"Thankfully, I was already prepared for this. So I have already schedule the most proficient doctor to do your surgery. However, the earliest he can come down here is in two weeks' time. Are you fine with that?" She questioned.
"Yes, I'll clear out my schedule for this. Then, I'll just come back in two weeks, doctor. Thank you."
I stood up from my seat, my tears already dried up.
As I walked back to our apartment, I realized how much I would not want Himchan to see me in such a state from the surgery.
---
A few days after the checkup, I was in the recording studio with the B.A.P. members.
They were recording their next album, CRASH.
"Noona, thanks for the food! You always make delicious food for us! I wish Noona had met me and married me instead of Hyung." Junhong pouted.
"Nahh, (_____)ie likes guys her age or older. So only Yongguk Hyung and I would get a chance." Daehyun grinned.
I rolled my eyes.
Himchan was in the recording booth, getting ready to record his parts.
I stood in front of the glass mirror and said, "Hwaiting!"
He rolled his eyes and told me to be quiet.
Yongguk was sitting in front of the control desk and was about to scold Himchan but I held his shoulder, signaling him not to.
I looked back at Himchan and gave him a muted 'Hwaiting'.
After Himchan's part, Yongguk told everyone to rest up for five minutes.
Himchan immediately whipped out his phone and had called Eunjung.
I took this chance to secretly pull Yongguk out of the room with me and brought him to an empty recording studio.
"How was the checkup? Are you really getting better?" He was the first to ask.
I bowed my head.
"It's worse?"
I slowly nodded my head, "The doctor said I need to get a surgery. And I scheduled it in two weeks' time, which is the earliest the doctor could come down. She said.. The survival rate was 17%, and out of that 17%, there is a 75% chance I would be a vegetable for the rest of my life."
Yongguk sighed, "At least you're going through with the surgery. Even if it's not much, at least you could live longer and be around us longer. I don't think the kids are ready to let you go just like that yet."
"But Oppa. There's a higher chance that I would not make it through. You have to remember that."
"(_____) Noona.. Y-You're.. Sick?"
A voice spoke from the door.
I turned to find the other four young members at the door.
Junhong's face was filled with sadness, and so were the others.
"Did we hear correctly, Noona? T-that you're sick?" His bottom lips trembled.
I swallowed the lump that was building in my throat.
"How long have you all been standing there?"
"We followed you guys out just now because we didn't want to be in the same room as Himchan when he's being cheesy on the phone with Eunjung. We were gonna just leave but then we heard Yongguk Hyung saying something about checkup so we stayed and listened. (_____)-ah. Why didn't you tell us?" Daehyun asked.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want you guys to pity me or anything like that. And I thought that if I told you guys, it would be harder for you to accept it when I'm gone later. I didn't want to make you guys suffer my pain with me." I explained.
The four boys came into the room.
Junhong went forward and hugged me.
"Where is Noona sick?" His tall figure pulled back and questioned.
"I've got brain tumor, Junhong-ah. And it grew bigger this month."
Youngjae and Jongup had not made eye contact with me ever since they stepped in.
"I've got a request for all of you." I spoke.
They all looked up to face me.
"Don't say a word of this to Himchan Oppa. He already has Eunjung with him and I want you guys to keep his smile there when I'm no longer here. I don't want him to see me after the surgery if I don't make it out alive. And even if I do, I still don't want him to come and see me if I'm a vegetable. I'd rather have him think that I left the country to live with my parents."
I paused for them to digest the information before I continued.
"Also, next month is Himchan Oppa's birthday. When that time comes, I'd probably either be dead or a vegetable. So I want you guys to pass my Tatsmato to Himchan. I'll record a video of me saying that it is his birthday present before the surgery and I'll inform a nurse to send it to him on his birthday. Can you do that for me?" I asked them.
They nodded in silence and we all walked back to the recording studio that Himchan was in.
"What took you guys so long. Yongguk Hyung said five minutes only. And I can't believe you all left me alone in this room." Himchan scolded us.
I just smiled at him and waved goodbye to the members.
---
It was the day before my scheduled surgery.
I had requested for Yongguk to make sure Himchan comes down to the restaurant by our apartment to have dinner with me.
At exactly 7.30pm, their black van pulled up in front of the restaurant and Himchan came out.
"Seriously guys? Why must I come here alone?" Himchan wondered aloud before he looked up and saw me.
"(_____)-ah? You planned this with the guys? What, is this our anniversary that i must have forgotten?" He boldly asked.
I shook my head and gestured him to come.
He did and we went into the restaurant.
The waiter came with the menu.
Himchan looked up from the menu to me, "I'm not gonna pay for all this, in case you're wondering."
I smiled, "I know. I'm paying for everything today. So order whatever you want. Don't think about the price."
He smirked, "I'll order the whole restaurant then."
He called up the waiter and listed his orders.
The waiter turned to me and I smiled, "Just a glass of warm water for me."
Himchan's eyes widened, "Aren't you going to eat dinner with me? Isn't that why we're having dinner together? Because you haven't eaten?"
I shook my head.
Honestly, I did want to eat.
But the doctor had already warned me not to intake any greasy food, especially restaurant food.
So here I was, watching my husband eat.
When Himchan was full, his orders were just half finished.
Usually, I would hate to leave the food wasted, but I did not want to get angry at him when this was my last day.
I told him to wait outside the restaurant as I took care of the bill.
Once he stepped outside, I turned to the person at the cashier counter.
"Can I request for your food to be delivered tomorrow?" I asked.
The cashier nodded.
"Alright, Then I'd like to order three large servings of everything you have. To be delivered to TS entertainment building by 12 noon. It's to the B.A.P. members and the TS Staffs. And can you put it under Kim Himchan? I'll pay for it now, but if the staffs ask, tell them Kim Himchan paid." I stated.
After taking down my orders, she told me the price and I handed her my credit card.
I was about to go when she asked me a question.
"Why are you doing this? I mean, I'm not trying to make it sound bad, but you don't look like you would want to spend a lot of money and yet leave it under someone else's name."
I just gave her a smile, "When your days are numbered, you tend to do selfless things without wanting to get credited. Have a great life, miss."
I walked out and noticed that Himchan was on the phone.
"Yeah baby. Oh I've to go now. See you soon, baby," he whispered into the receiver before ending the call.
"Took you long enough. Come on, it's freezing out here."
He lead the way back to our apartment and we got ready for bed.
Today, I left Tatsmato on the living room couch and had slept with Himchan, whose arms naturally wrapped around my waist.
---
I woke up earlier than usual today.
The surgery was at 12.30PM, but I wanted to clean up my things and make the house neat before I left for who knows how long.
Himchan ordered me to get his Americano as he got ready, so I went down and did this last favor for him.
When I came back up, he took it and left.
I sighed and started cleaning up the house.
The dishes were done, my clothes were neatly placed in my drawers and Himchan's in his.
I smiled in satisfaction before I felt the lump come back up in my throat.
This was our first house together.
And it may be our last, too.
All the memories we had created, the happiness and joy, the disappointments, everything came flashing in my mind.
I held on to Tatsmato and began my journey to the hospital.
---
Himchan and the rest of s were in the recording studio again.
They were still recording their album.
Somehow, Himchan felt weird today.
Was it the Americano he had earlier?
'Nahh, (_____) always got me the same Iced Americano everyday.'
He tried thinking of what it was that was making him feel queasy, but nothing popped out.
Ignoring the feeling, Himchan continued on with his schedule until a TS staff knocked on the recording studio's door and came in.
"There's lunch downstairs at the lounge. It says that Kim Himchan had ordered and paid for it, and its for B.A.P. and all the TS staffs. You should come down and eat before it's all gone." The male informed them before leaving.
All six of them were confused, Himchan was the most confused.
He had not ordered anything and he certainly did not pay for anything.
With a confused mind, the six of them went downstairs and saw a whole buffet of Pastas and finger food.
Himchan immediately remembered you taking a long time to pay the bills and he realized what you were doing.
The staffs all thanked Himchan, who graciously accepted their thanks and took all the credit.
"Heyy," Yongguk held on to Himchan's shoulder.
"Did you really order all of this?" The leader asked his teammate.
Himchan smirked, "Why? Can't believe that a guy like me can afford to spend this much money for all the TS staff?"
"It's not that Hyung. Yongguk Hyung and the rest of us know you would never do this, even if you had all the money in the world." Youngjae said, standing by his leader.
"Yeah, Hyung has never spent a penny on any of us. We're not as stupid as you think we are, Hyung," The magnae chirped in.
Himchan rolled his eyes.
'Unbelievable.' He thought.
He left the five of them and went to eat and accept the thanks he received.
Yongguk's phone vibrated.
He took it out and read the message.
'Heyy Oppa.
I'm about to get my surgery now.
You're probably eating the Restaurant food now, right?
Keke.
Make sure Daehyunnie eats as much as he wants too.
To be honest, I'm scared.
Wish me luck with the surgery!
>.<
-(_____)ie'
Yongguk sighed and turned to s.
"She's having her surgery soon," he informed them.
Zelo's face changed in an instant.
"Noona doesn't deserve any of this," he pouted.
"Ara, magnae-yah. But we'll just have to hope for the better now, okay?" Yongguk patted his shoulder.
He then decided to talk to their manager.
"Hyung, can you let us off for the rest of the day? I want to bring the kids to the hospital to visit someone."
The manager eyed him up and down, "Who are you visiting?"
"Just a close friend of ours, Hyung. And can you drive us there? I don't think I'll be in the right state to drive them," Yongguk ruffled his hair.
"Alright. You want to bring them off now?" The manager asked.
Yongguk nodded and thanked their understanding manager.
The members gathered around him when he told them they were going to visit someone for a while.
Himchan, who had been left out, held them back.
"Where are you guys going? None of you had touched the food yet!" He pointed out.
Zelo growled, "I'm not eating food that is not Noona's food."
Yongguk stood in front of the other members, "I'm taking them somewhere else. You can enjoy this all you want. I told manager Hyung to cancel our schedule today. You can go home or go date Eunjung if you want."
With that, the five other members of B.A.P. left Himchan for the hospital.
---
They were all sitting in front of the surgery room, waiting for the doctor to come out.
Yongguk had been pacing around for the past hour.
Zelo kept calling out in a hushed tone, "Noona… Noona.."
Whereas the other three just had their heads bowed.
Their manager still didn't know who was getting the surgery, but patiently sat down beside the boys.
When Yongguk finally gave up pacing up and down the hallway and took a seat beside the manager, they finally talked.
"I'm sorry for making you wait with us Hyung, but the kids and I might not be able to take results whole-handedly. And I'm afraid you might be the same too." Yongguk said.
"Is it the person that I think it is?" The manager asked.
"(_____)ie," Yongguk nodded.
The elder gave a sigh, "No wonder Junhong has been so depressed the past few days. But what happened to her?"
"She has brain tumor, Hyung."
The conversation ended at that, and they were all left hoping for the best.
It was close to five o'clock and the boys had not eaten their lunch yet.
Yongguk felt terribly sorry to them, but he knew it would be of no use to ask them if they wanted to grab a bite while waiting for (_____); their answer would be simply 'No'.
The light above the surgical room went off, signaling the end of the surgery.
All six bodies stood up and waited for the doctor to come out.
When he did, they bowed quickly to him, before asking about the outcome.
He smiled sincerely, "She made it through."
Everyone let out their breaths that they had subconsciously held.
"However, I would not get my hopes up high yet. We still have to monitor her condition to see if her body could adapt to the changes. So I suggest that none of you visit her for the first week. We will notify (_____)'s guardian that she had written down, if there is any information that needs to be passed on." The doctor announced.
With that, he had left them feeling better than before.
"Let's go get an early dinner first before we go home. Hyung's treat," their manager said, trying to lift up the mood.
---
It was slightly over a week after the surgery, another week before Himchan's birthday.
The boys except for Himchan began to slacken a little when they were practicing their dance routine for CRASH.
No one was in the mood to have a comeback, the only thing in their mind was to go to the hospital and stay by your side.
When they ended practice, everyone was on the floor, tired.
"Yahh. What is wrong with all of you? You guys are all slacking behind. Especially Yongguk Hyung and Junhong." Himchan scolded.
Zelo wanted to just tackle Himchan and give him a piece of his mind, but Jongup held him back.
"We're all just really tired. Can't you tell?" Yongguk reasoned.
Himchan rolled his eyes, "You guys are lazy. Pure lazy. I see you guys have changed your attitude now that we're at this point of popularity, and even (_____) hasn't come back home. She's probably cheating on me right now."
Daehyun bit back a scowl but spoke through his gritted teeth, "You're the one that changed Hyung. Not us. You're the one that stopped loving (_____)ie. You're the one that have been pushing her around like she's your maid. You're the one that put her into this state."
He glared at Himchan as he said this.
Himchan eyed him, "I what? What state did I put her in? She was the one that agreed to marry me. So what if I stopped loving her? It's not like I'm abusing her. It's a good thing that I didn't decide to divorce he the moment I stopped loving her, that shows how loyal I am to my wife even if I don't love her anymore."
Himchan calmed himself down when he realized that s might have been keeping contact with his wife without him knowing.
"Anyways, you guys seem like you've been hanging out with my wife these few days. Where is she?" He questioned.
"No where. We haven't hung out with her, alright. Come on, guys. Let's go home." Yongguk stopped the argument.
Everyone stood up except for Himchan.
"You can go and have fun with that Eunjung of yours. I don't care what you do with your life anymore." Yongguk spat out towards Himchan before he went out the door.
Jongup was the last to leave, but before he closed the door, he turned back with a sigh.
"You've really changed, Hyung. We were all so proud of you when you married Noona and she was practically stuck to you like glue. Now, you're just a Hyung that is having an affair right in front of your wife."
Instead of going home, Yongguk and the rest headed towards the Hospital again.
They had been visiting you ever since the doctor allowed them to.
Even their manager would sit with them and pray in his heart that you would finally wake up.
Beside your bed, was Tatsmato, who had been with you all throughout your surgery.
You had requested for the Nurse to place the doll beside your bed before you went into the surgery.
So there he was, sitting on your bedside table.
Youngjae was right beside the doll, admiring its beauty for the first time.
He knew it was a doll that you had made yourself, but he did not know the reason behind it.
You could have just easily bought it in stores, yet you made one yourself.
He shrugged it off, thinking that you probably wanted to put in the extra effort on the doll so that it was more special.
Of course, no one knew about your miscarriage, not even your parents.
---
Another week had passed, and it was finally Himchan's birthday.
He was totally hyped for it, and was expecting to see you appearing during their schedule, to surprise him with a celebration, like you usually would.
He received a text while he was on his way out.
'Good morning baby~
Happy Birthdayy~
I'm falling more and more for you everyday baby~
;*
-Eunjung'
Himchan's shoulders deflated when it was not from you.
He deleted the message and pretended he did not see it.
It was the only time that he wanted to be loyal to you and only you.
Because he knows how much time and energy you always put into preparing for his birthdays.
This year, he was expecting it to be the same as the previous year, so he did not want to make you angry by having an affair with Eunjung.
With a very light heart, he went into his van and went on his way to the dance studio.
As usual, he put all his energy into his dance.
This time, he could feel the words of the lyrics as he danced to CRASH.
His heart fluttered again and he was reminded of his honeymoon with you, where he had fallen even more in love with you.
After three rounds of practicing, he lied flat on the floor, reminiscing in all the times he tried to win your heart.
The amount of effort he had put in to make sure you were his and only his.
Yongguk and the members, as usual, left the room, saying they needed to get something.
Himchan smiled, thinking that s were probably going to ask you to come out of your hiding spot and then they would celebrate his birthday together with him.
It was quite some time when he realized that s were not coming back up as soon as he wanted.
His phone suddenly vibrated and he unlocked it to find a video message from you.
His heartbeat fastened as he opened up the video.
There you were, in his screen, smiling.
"Heyy Himchan Oppa!" You grinned and waved.
Your voice filled the room and Himchan felt his face reddened.
"So today is Oppa's birthday~ Woohoo~!" You cheered, before you gave a pout.
"But I won't be here beside you today. I'm actually really far from where you're at. But don't worry Oppa, I know how much you love my gifts and I do have a gift for you. In fact, I've prepared it way before your birthday." You smiled sweetly at him, the smile that never fails to make his heart beat with a purpose.
"So this year won't be a surprise, okay? I'll tell you what you're present is. It is…. Jjajjan~~" You held up the doll to the phone screen.
"Tatsmato~~! Keke~ Oppa wasn't expecting that at all, right? Heuheu, I'm such a good wife. Now, my present to you is our child because I wanted to make sure that you and Tatsmato are not lonely without me." You explained.
You placed a fist below your chin, resting on it.
"I wonder how Oppa will react when he knows its Tatsmato as his present. Hmm. Well, I just hope Oppa will treat Tatsmato like how I do, like a real child. Because Tats-yah has been with us for so long. Happy birthday Oppa! Saranghae~ Muah~" You blew a kiss into the screen and ended the video.
Himchan had a shocked face by the end of it.
So there was no surprise party this year?
And his present was Tatsmato?
Himchan was about to feel disappointed when the door clicked open.
s came in one by one, and he was hoping you would appear behind them with a birthday cake.
But he was even more shocked when Yongguk came in, holding on to Tatsmato by the edge of its ear.
"Tats-yah~~" Himchan went up to the leader and snatched it away from him, bobbing up and down as though he was treating a crying baby.
Yongguk rolled his eyes.
"I don't see why she wanted to give this doll to you. She should have just kept it for herself, at least it would have been put to better use," he growled as he eyed Himchan.
The latter whipped his head to the eldest, "Tatsmato isn't a doll! It's my child with (_____)ie! Anyways, where did you get him? Did you guys meet with (_____)?! I knew it! I knew you were all still in contact with her! You traitors!"
Yongguk could not hold himself back as he took three long strides forward and plunged a fist at Himchan's cheek.
"You don't know half the things we know. So stop trying to act like you've been there when you haven't." The enraged leader pointed at the second oldest before leaving with the team.
Once again, Jongup was the last to leave.
"You've really been blind, Hyung. You should have look at what's in front of you when you had it."
---
The next day, Himchan kept Tatsmato by his side as they practiced the dance routine.
He was determined to make the members bring him to wherever you were, so he stuck closely to them the whole day.
When practice ended, Himchan was practically all up in their faces.
"Aren't you going out for a date with Eunjung as per usual, Hyung?" Youngjae asked, slightly irritated by his Hyung.
"Nope I'm all free today. So I'm following you guys to wherever it is you are going to," Himchan quickly replied.
Yongguk furrowed his eyebrows.
When Himchan was determined, he would not stop pestering people until he gets what he wants.
He glanced at s apologetically before looking up at the ceiling.
'Mian, (_____)ie. But Himchan has the right to know what's been going on behind his back. He is your husband after all. Forgive me.' He apologized in his heart.
"You might wanna take Tatsmato along with you," he sighed.
Himchan's eyes widened, then he immediately took Tatsmato and followed behind the boys.
When they were seated in the van, Himchan talked to Tatsmato.
"Tats-yah. We're finally going to see your Umma again! Aren't you happy? She's been playing hide and seek with us and now we finally found her!" He grinned and played with the bunny.
His grin was so wide it stretched from ear to ear.
He glanced around at s' grim faces but ignored them, thinking that they probably did not want him to be near you.
Soon, the car pulled up to a stop as their manager parked the car.
Yongguk was the first out, then Himchan and the rest.
Himchan climbed out with Tatsmato in one hand.
His smile slowly crumbled away when he realized where he was standing at.
They were parked at the hospital car park.
Himchan's grip on the doll tightened, making his knuckles turn white.
He swallowed a lump in his throat and trudged along as Yongguk led the way through the hospital like he came here everyday.
They went up the elevator and walked down the hallway before Yongguk stopped in front of a ward and pulled to the door open.
Himchan fell behind as he slowly took in his surroundings.
There were six beds in the room, and Yongguk was moving to the last bed on the left.
The other members followed after, including their manager.
He was the last to arrive and pushed himself to the front.
In the blink of an eye, his grip on Tatsmato loosened so that it fell to the ground.
And he, too, collapsed to his knees beside it.
His heart felt like it had stopped beating.
His vision became blurred with hot tears streaming down his cheeks.
Slowly he crawled to your side and with shaky hands, he reached up to hold your right hand in his, placing them on his now-wet cheeks.
"(_-_____)-ah.. My baby.. My wife.." He sobbed hard.
"Baby, wake up. Oppa's here now, please wake up!" He shook your hand.
Standing up, Himchan lightly placed his forehead on yours and lifted his left hand to caress your cheek.
"Baby, wake up, nehh? Oppa is here now. Oppa's not going anywhere else now. Just please, wake up. Don't leave me, please. You don't deserve to leave when I treated you like that, you deserve a lot more happiness than I gave you. And I'll give you all the happiness in the world. Just PLEASE, baby. Please open your eyes and wake up." He cried softly, slowly calming himself.
He kept that position for a minute more in silence before he managed to pull a chair up and sat on it.
Jongup came up and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Be strong, Hyung," He whispered to the elder before turning to the others.
"I think we could let Himchan Hyung be here for one day, right? Let's give him his own time with his wife," he suggested.
Everyone agreed and went out the room, careful not to disturb anyone.
Himchan was left alone by your side as tears continued to freely roll down his cheeks.
Moments later, he heard the room door open.
A shadow overcame him.
"Hello, sir." The doctor greeted him as she got ready to examine your condition with the nurse.
"Hello, doctor. Can you check how my wife is doing?" He replied.
The doctor paused for a second before continuing with her job.
"Hmm, so you're her mysterious husband? Well, she did mention before that her husband was tall, had a low voice and stood out in any crowd. But I always thought it was the other guy, the leader, I think? Because him and the others are the usual ones to visit, so I naturally thought he was her husband," she mused as she examined your body response.
"Nehh, Kim Himchan-imnida," Himchan introduced himself.
"Ahh, of course. Kim. (_____)'s surname has been changed to Kim. Well, anyways. Her condition is stable. By the way, Mr Kim, I know it's a little late to express my condolences, but I am truly sorry about what happened to your child." The doctor apologized.
Himchan furrowed his eyebrows, "Child? What do you mean, doctor?"
The doctor leaned back with suspicion, "(_____) didn't tell you she had a miscarriage, did she?"
His head shook left and right.
She sighed and started explaining.
"I don't remember the exact date, but one day, she was given to me as my patient and she was pregnant. She told me how excited she was to have her first baby. But when I asked her about her husband, she told me you were busy with promotions and she did not want to worry you. I let it go and we took a scan of her one-month fetus. In fact, I still have a copy of the picture in my folder, give me a second."
She flipped to the front of the folder and unattached a picture.
She passed it to him and watched as he admired the picture of his fetus.
"But just about a week after that scan, (_____) came to me, saying that she felt something burst and there was water leaking from her. I got her checked and we found out that she had a miscarriage. That day, your wife cried and almost went hysterical about the loss. I was hoping you would have known about it from her, but I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry, Mr Kim. Please excuse us," she said and left with the nurse.
Himchan stared at the picture in his hands, noticing the date it was taken. It was a month after your honeymoon.
That was the only time Himchan and you made love.
He moved his thumb across the fetus, as if caressing it.
Himchan looked down at the floor beside him and picked up the forgotten doll.
"Tats-yah. I guess you were supposed to be my real child, and that's why (_____)ie treats you like one. I'm sorry, Tats-yah, Appa's sorry." He whispered, hugging the doll.
Without him knowing, it was already night time.
A nurse came in and patted his shoulder.
"Sorry, sir. It's past the visiting time and the patients in this ward need to rest. I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave. You can come back again tomorrow."
Himchan bowed to the nurse and stood up.
When he walked out of the ward, he saw his manager waiting for him alone.
"Where are the others?" Himchan asked.
"I've sent them home hours ago. I just came back for you. Come on, you still have tomorrow. There's no schedule up tomorrow so I'll just bring you guys back here." The manager announced.
He nodded in response and hoped that the day would pass by sooner.
---
Half a month had passed ever since his birthday.
Himchan was always by your bed side with Tatsmato.
You never left his vision whenever he's at the hospital.
Only when he needs the toilet badly, would he then leave his seat.
The members would always bring food up for him to make sure that he was eating.
However, there was only one thing in his mind.
It was a dream he had a few nights back.
Himchan was climbing up a hill in his performance costume.
He could hear a baby boy's laughter and his heart accelerated, wanting to get to the top faster.
Once he reached the top, a scene of a five-year-old boy running around a picnic mat came into view.
There you were, sitting in the middle of the mat.
You were laughing along with your son, before you looked up and established eye contact with your husband.
You smiled up at him, the sun illuminating your perfect silhouette.
He took a step forward but stopped.
"Appa!" His son cheered and came running to him, hugging his shin.
Chuckling, Himchan easily lifted his light son in his arms and sat down beside you on the mat.
"Happy birthday, Nampyeon." You whispered, leaning forward for a kiss.
He responded to it, enjoying the picturesque family moment.
Suddenly, he could not feel the weight of his son in his arm.
He pulled away from you and turned to look for his son.
When he turned back, you were also gone.
Himchan abruptly stood up and called out for the two most important people in his life.
He caught sight of a car that had stopped at the bottom of the hill.
You were standing in front of it with your son clinging on to your neck.
Himchan ran down the hill as fast as his long legs could take him, constantly calling out your name.
The car vanished from his sight and all of a sudden, nothing made sense anymore.
Himchan scratched his head, thinking again of the nightmare he had.
He looked at his wife's still hand and was about to reach out for it when he saw a light jerk of your index finger.
Thinking he was just hallucinating, Himchan stared at your hand.
This time, your whole hand jerked and he was positive that he was not hallucinating.
He stood up and pressed the Help Button by your bed.
"She moved! (_____)ie's hand moved!" Himchan alerted the other members.
The doctors came in and started checking.
Your hand did move, and when the doctors came in, you had opened you eyes.
"(_____)-sshi. If you can hear me, blink twice." Your doctor instructed.
You stared at her for a while before you blinked twice.
She smiled joyfully at you before she pulled Himchan into your line of vision.
"If you recognize this man as your husband, blink thrice."
You gazed longingly at the familiar face and blinked thrice.
You wanted to cry, and you did.
Even though you could not control your facial expression, a tear slid down your face.
Himchan softly wiped it away and leaned forward.
He rested his forehead on yours and captured your lips in his.
The kiss was full of passion and life on his side, but you could do nothing to respond to it, as much as you wanted yourself to.
When he pulled away, he stared into your eyes and smile sweetly.
"Thank you, baby. For coming back to me. I love you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I couldn't help it.
I dreamt of this and cried in my sleep, okay.
Himchan, WAE.
TT.TT
I hope you enjoyed it.
Please comment!!!
Just a short comment to let me know you've read it would be fine, too!
Love you guys,
-miia186<3
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