“Hey, let’s date” Changmin said after stop from what he did to stir a plate of spaghetti in front of him with a fork. His eyes looked serious straight to the girl in front of him who choked from her way in the middle drinking her cola.

“Uhugh.. Here you go again Shim Changmin!!” She wiped with napkin “stop joking around! Is that funny for you seeing me got a heart attack?”

Changmin eyes changed from serious to something disappoint or maybe close to sad. He knew, it was often for him to say the words  I love you to her, it was just like some daily drugs that person with chronic disease had to drink. That’s why Yoona always mistaken it as a habit of very close best friend had. Even though sometime she felt something really deep in that three words when it came out from his mouth. Like the moment Changmin said that words after kiss her forehead before she fell asleep when they had spent the night together in the weekend. His eyes soft and deep looked into her eyes, with a small smile form in his lips, he spell that words to her, at that moment Yoona felt some electricity come to her spine, like a statue she only could blinked her eyes . Somehow she felt warm felling came to her chest, but before she can adjusted what just happened. His mischievou grins came out and suddenly flicked her forehead. Then she left dumbfounded with his action.

 But not for today, he really want to Yoona knew that he mean it. He knew their relationship not just a best friend kind of relationship. It was written on the way they react each others. How can best friend protect each others for not looking another man/woman? He knew she felt the same like he did. It was just from the start he felt Yoona was afraid if there any status between them things are going to be different. She thought they were already comfortable each other, so why status is needed? At first Changmin let it happen as she want to be, but now he couldn’t take it anymore. He needed something to clear and secure their relationship. So today he decided to take a step further in their relationship, but the way was not easy as he thought.

Changmin let a small sigh out, then keep silence while continue ate the spaghetti that she made for him. Suddenly Yoona felt something wrong with him [is he really mean it?] then she tried to read the handsome face in front of her.

“Hey. Are you okay?” She stop eat her spaghetti “You are joking around again right?” Yoona tried to confirm the scene.

Changmin ate the last piece spaghetti in his plate “Just eat all your food, before I steal it again from you” he said then stands up take his plate to the sink and wash it. Yoona blinked her eyes in a second [what’s wrong with him? Does he really want us to date?]

Yoona didn’t  finish her spaghetti as she lost her appetite and walked to the bin put the left over into it. “Changmin-ah, what’s wrong with you? Huh?” She walked into his direction, join him washing the plate.

“Nothing, I’m fine” Changmin said simply, move aside to gave her space to wash the dish.

“I don’t think so, you look..  ouch!” he flicked her forehead before she can finished her words “I’m fine okay. I’m just tired and sleepy” he said to her and walked away to her living room. “I’ll sleep for a minute at your couch okay” Changmin yelled from the couch and laid himself before he closed his eyes.

Yoona left in silence, didn’t know what to do. She knew that something is not right, but he didn’t have courage to ask him more further about the situation. It wasn’t because she afraid to ask, but she afraid to answer if changmin ask her the same question because the fact is she didn’t know the answer either. So here they are, let everything in their mind absorbed alone.  

____

Since that day Yoona felt Changmin make a distance from her. He even stop teasing her, it was just like the sun rise from the west. She started feeling uneasy, and week later Changmin suddenly said that he will going abroad to work at America.

She knew it was his dream to work there, since the company that offer the job was really big ones. With the talent he had as a photographer, it will be a big deal for his career. But he got that over since 4 month ago, and he always reject it with a silly reason ‘who will tease you every day, if I going abroad Yoona? I hate to receive a call from you and hear you cry for missing me too much’ Changmin always said that with a big grin in his face every time Yoona asked why he reject the offer. She knew that words mean that Changmin didn’t want to be away from her. It’s a relieve her for some reason, but she also felt sorry for him if it was really because of her, Changmin decided not accept the offer.

Now, he already decides it even without telling Yoona beforehand. It was a shock for her, was he tired and disappointed with her response before? Did he tired with their unclear relationship? Yoona didn’t want changmin to go. But what could she do? She’s not even his girlfriend, even if she was his girlfriend she couldn’t make Changmin stop, it was for his good after all. She was afraid if they were apart, things are going to be different. Suddenly she understands why people have to be official couple. She was feeling uneasy, but  she was to coward to told him.

----

It’s the day for Changmiin go to America, and Yoona follow him to bid a farewell at the airport. They walked side by side in silence, until they reach the departure entry. Changmin stop her track, followed by Yoona. Then he turn his body to face the girl beside him, stop a second to looked the girl he love. Suddenly he let a grin out from his lips and flicked Yoona forehead with his thumb and index fingers. “Don’t miss me too much okay?!” 

[I will miss you..]

“Ouch!!” Yoona cringe and held his forehead slightly to remove the pain. “Don’t worry, I won’t”

[I will..]

“hmm, seems like no one I can flick the head easily like this in the America later” Changmin smiled and put both of his hand in his jeans pocket. He examines the beautiful face in front of him. Her doe eyes, sharp nose, small lips, white creamy skin, everything just perfect in his eyes, she is beautiful. It just likes he focus his eyes to portrait her figure so that he will keep it in his mind and can't forget her face. Then he looked at his wrist watch “Well, I think it’s already the time for me to go” he spread his hand to give a farewell hug for Yoona.

Yoona take a step closer and hug him back. She let his head rest at his chest, smell his cologne for the last time. Changmin held her tight in his embrace and put his chin in her shoulder. Then he whisper in her ear softly “Yoona-ah, I love you”

[I really love you, Yoona]

Yoona stiff her body for a second “Should I say ‘I love you too’ so that you can release me before I die because out of breath from your tight hug?”

[I love you to, Changmin]

Changmin let out a small sigh, then release her. He cupped her cheek with both of his hand, caressed it softly then kiss her forehead. His eyes looked straight to Yoona  eyes warmly “take care, will you? Don’t cry at your bed alone tonight” he suddenly pinched Yoona nose then grinned at her.

Yoona pouting then slap his arm lightly “Just go, so I can live freely without someone annoys my day!”

[don’t go…]

 “well, bye then” Changmin smiled and turn his body. He walked away from her slowly, didn’t turn his head and just waved his hand lightly. Afraid he wouldn’t able to go if he looked at the girl he love once again.

At the other side Yoona watched him walked away slowly, it was a relieve for her since Changmin didn’t turn around his head. Because the tears that she tried holding back from a while ago fall in her cheek. Watching Changmin walked away from her without saying the words she really want to say.

“Changmin-ah.. I love you.. sorry for being coward to you..”

The tears keep falling into Yoona checks, even people around  already looked at her. Yoona didn’t care anymore what people will think about her, since her eyes focused at the back of man she loved slowly disappear from her sight.

“You already gone.. What should I do?”