Cho Kyuhyun had never felt lonelier in his entire life than when he moved to one of the biggest cities in the world.

Sometimes he’d wonder how exactly he ended up here, a plane ride and a time zone away from his home in Seoul. He would trace his steps from his miserable life attending school at Waseda University to his relatively carefree days of high school and wonder where he went wrong. He remembered thinking that taking the opportunity to study abroad would fulfill whatever emptiness he’d feel whenever he had the chance to sit still for longer than five minutes. Thoughts of escaping the familiarity and banality of his hometown fueled his ambitions, shooting him to the top of his class and garnering all the offers he’d ever want. He realized later that he chose Tokyo as an afterthought – Beijing scared him and he couldn’t begin to afford San Francisco, scholarship or not.

Six months into his new life and he found not much changed except the workload somehow became heavier and his comfort zone dwindled into nonexistence. Every day – whether struggling through his lectures, scrounging up some sort of non-instant food, or staring listlessly out into the foreign horizon through his window – he considered going back and giving it all up. However, in some sort of twisted Faustian deal, the university owned his soul for the entirety of the academic year (including the winter holidays) so there was no chance of escaping his self-imposed prison. This left him with the single option of burying his sorrows underneath his work and mind-numbing amounts of electronic distraction.

The price he paid for his semblance of peace, however, started to take its toll one night at a time.

down some generic brand cigarette, Kyuhyun made his way towards the nearest corner store through the throngs of people crowding the sidewalk despite the bitter early spring cold and the drizzling rain filling the air. He turned up the collar on his coat, but the wind bit at his skin regardless. Despite the heavy mist in the air, the bright lights of Shibuya cut through the haze as everything else drowned in a sea of blue-grey.

It felt almost like a dream, except for the burning sensation settling deep in his throat with each exhale and the smoke curling from his lips. He nearly laughed at the thought, but then he remembered reading about how sleep deprivation can cause hallucinations and dream-like states. The sting from the fallen ashes on his hand sobered him up before he could dwell on the implications of wandering about Tokyo unconscious.

After managing to score two more packs of cigarettes and several bottles of French vanilla iced coffee without scaring the cashier, he meandered back to his small apartment situated above a hair salon and a cute, overpriced dessert shop. Unlocking the door and setting his purchases on his sad excuse for a dining table, he crash-landed on his beat-up couch and pulled his laptop off the coffee table. With a touch of his mouse, it came alive and immediately greeted him with an open chatbox and a ten-minute old message. Sungmin, luckily, was still online.

Kyuhyun allowed himself to laugh a little too loudly as he lit up his last cigarette from his old pack. Before he forgot about it, he rushed over to his woefully tiny kitchen to grab his ashtray. He paused to grab one of his iced coffee bottles – he figured he was already far past the point of no return, so caffeine can’t do anything to him.

He closed out of the chatbox and went back to browsing through his normal routine of websites, trying his damndest to resist the urge to pick up yet another cigarette after he’d finished his old one.

Kyuhyun stared up at the ceiling that night, desperately trying to sleep and failing miserably. He counted sheep, he counted the ceiling tiles, he counted the days he’d been in the country and he counted all the times in high school he’d managed to embarrass himself so badly he couldn’t show his face for a week. He finally fell into a half-comatose, restless state that lasted until the lights of Tokyo faded into the rising sun. He almost wanted to cry.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Despite the fact that his commute took him straight through the district, Kyuhyun avoided Akihabara at all costs. The International Student Advisor, Kyuhyun’s only real “friend” here in Tokyo, thought his aversion to the area was rather odd considering his interests, but he only said that he could easily find what he wanted absolutely anywhere other than Akihabara and left it at that.

(The truth was, during a visit to a popular manga store, a BL manga-ka approached him about modeling for her newest serial and he vowed never to return to that part of the city again. Sungmin remarked that he needed to get scouted for JGV next to truly get the full experience.)

Nevertheless, he found himself amongst the colorful towers and distracting storefront windows of Akihabara and hating every second of it. The various animated characters that adorned the sides of the buildings seemed to mock him as they advertised new releases and limited time sales. The large neon signs dominating the air above the sidewalks looked ready to crush him under their weight.

He started to think that if this didn’t work, he wouldn’t mind going out that way.

If he were completely honest, Kyuhyun would admit that physically, nothing about Akihabara truly separated it from the rest of the city – it certainly wasn’t anymore strange than Harajuku on Sundays.

No, it was what Akihabara was, what it represented that truly bothered him. He was a “nerd” and he liked nerdy things, but the core of fanaticism and obsession that the place represented sometimes scared him. This fact, along with his fateful encounter in that bookstore, made Kyuhyun incredibly wary of any ‘service’ Soineya could offer. For all he knew, this sleeping service could be a brothel operating under the radar and he’d be in the lobby at just the right moment when the cops burst in and they’d throw him in jail and he would lose his scholarship and get deported and he’d have to face his parents…

None of this made it easy to even think about sleeping there, much less open the door.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door into Soineya and took in his surroundings. He wasn’t sure what he expected, but he managed to feel underwhelmed anyway. Pictures of the staff lined the plain white walls as well as a menu of services and their prices. He had to stop himself from laughing aloud at what they wanted for the privilege to pat someone’s head.

“Welcome to Soineya! How may I help you?” the girl behind the counter greeted. Kyuhyun had to blink a couple of times upon seeing her; he could’ve sworn he saw her in a music video before.

“Um, I’m just here for your basic service – a few hours,” he muttered in reply.
She raised an eyebrow up at him in worry. “Sir, pardon my intrusion, but you look rather under the weather.”

“Well, I haven’t been sleeping very well. That’s why I’m here.”

“Ah,” she gasped in understanding. “Well, you’ve certainly come to the right place. Just pick out a girl from the wall and she’ll be waiting in the room for you.”

He gave her a slight nod and started scanning the walls, willing to settle for anyone at that point. Both he and the receptionist jumped when a loud yell of ‘Mina-saaaan!’ came from the back room.

“Mina-san! I’m sorry it took me so long to get here; the restaurant was crowded and it took forever for me to get your order,” the young man declared as he burst through the office door with a large box of some unknown takeout food.

Kyuhyun’s breath hitched in his throat because all of his expectations and disappointments walked right out the door with the entrance of this creature into his life. He watched him move about the counter and set his parcel down with a nimble dancer’s grace, his body language floating and carefree. Mousy, messily tousled hair framed adorable teddy bear eyes, button nose, and thin bow-shaped lips. He stood shorter than Kyuhyun, but it certainly didn’t hinder his large presence. His stupidly bright smile lit up the entire room and made Kyuhyun forget why he came in the first place. He was, in the basest and simplest terms, heart-breakingly beautiful.

“Oh, it’s quite alright,” Mina answered, snapping Kyuhyun out of his reverie, “but I’m with a customer right now, Donghae.”

“’Donghae’? Excuse me, but are you Korean?” Kyuhyun interrupted. The way the other two looked at him, he figured that he looked incredibly pitiful and utterly strange. He found that he didn’t really care.

“Ah, yes, I am,” Donghae said with a laugh. “Your Korean is excellent! Do you study it in college?”

“No, no!” he shouted, a little too desperate. “I’m a native speaker – I’m from Seoul. My name is Cho Kyuhyun.”

“Oh. Oh! Oh my gosh, I’m sorry I assumed!” Donghae laughed, loud and boisterous. “I don’t think I’ve run into many other Koreans here in Japan, though; I always just think… well, it doesn’t matter. It’s very nice to meet you, Kyuhyun-ssi.”

“Ah, it’s nice to meet you, too, Donghae-ssi,” he replied with a slight smile on his face. He briefly wondered if, in his state, he looked a little crazed.

Looking on in curiousity, the receptionist finally joined in on the conversation. “And my name is Fujii Mina – my Korean is not so good, though. I am sorry for that.”

“Don’t apologize, noona – you know I think your Korean is great,” said Donghae, a teasing wrinkle of the nose punctuating his remark.

“Be quiet. Your Japanese is still awful,” she snapped back. “Excuse me, Kyuhyun-ssi; I am sorry for his rudeness. You said ‘basic service’?”

“Yes, I did.” He figured that reverting back to Japanese would make it easier on her; he knew all too well what it felt like to be the odd one out in the room.

“Did you find someone from the wall?” she asked, looking down at the cash register.
He looked away from her, as well – he really hadn’t considered his options, especially because of the sudden distraction. But then, an idea.

“If you wouldn’t mind, could it be Donghae-san?” Mina looked up with widened eyes and slightly open in surprise. “I mean, he is Korean and it would be nice to speak to someone in my language.”

“Uh, I don’t…” Donghae interrupted her with a hand cupping her ear as he leaned in to whisper something to her.

“I wouldn’t mind at all, Kyuhyun-ssi,” he said. “I’ve already got the key in hand. Follow me?”

Leaving Mina slightly dumbfounded at the counter, Donghae motioned for Kyuhyun to follow him up a small flight of stairs leading up to what looked like a hotel hallway – several doors lined the walls, each with a number painted on them. They turned to the second door on the left, which Donghae unlocked with practiced ease and opened for him, allowing him to step inside first.

The room itself was nothing special – it had pale blue walls with heavy dark blue curtains to block out the sun. Pastel blue sheets covered the large bed and a small lava lamp rested on the nightstand. (He honestly didn’t know what to make of that.) Without missing a beat, Donghae stripped off his denim jacket, revealing a simple plaid button-up underneath – this, too, ended up on the floor. If it weren’t for the poor black V-neck t-shirt that strained against his arms and shoulders, Kyuhyun would’ve dashed out of the room right then and there.

“Do you want to make yourself more comfortable? Unless you like sleeping in that heavy thing.”

A blush set across his face as he reached up for the zipper on his oversized jacket. He dropped it unceremoniously on the floor and sat down on the bed to pull off his sneakers. He felt the mattress dip and heard the springs creak when Donghae settled down on the bed. Turning around, he saw Donghae stretched out with his arms above his head and his eyes closed in utter relaxation. Kyuhyun nearly cursed aloud because he looked like a couture fashion model and here he was, crumpled, tired, and graceless. (He noted with a bit of bitterness that he at least had the heroin-chic look down pat.)

Donghae’s eyes opened and met his, a smile breaking his serene expression. “Laying down helps with the sleeping process, you know.”

“Uh, right.” He scrambled up to the pillows at the head of the bed and flopped down near the other man. “Sorry, I guess I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“I’m still not very used to it, either. Just relax and it’ll be alright.” Another creak and Kyuhyun found himself far closer to Donghae than he’d even thought possible.

“Y-you don’t have to… you know, actually cuddle with me or anything. Just having another person near is enough,” he stuttered, panic rising in his voice.

Donghae blinked at him as his lips formed a slight pout. He felt guilty for absolutely no reason. “This is what the service is, Kyuhyun-ah – I mean, as long as you’re comfortable, of course.”

“K-kyuhyun-ah?”

“Sorry, but the way I see it, if we’re going to be sleeping together, we might as well be informal. You can call me ‘hyung’ if you like.” Another smile like that and Donghae could call him whatever he wanted.

“How do you know that I’m younger than you?” Kyuhyun asked, scooting back slightly to look the other man in the eye. “For all you know, I could be some thirty year old salaryman or whatever that ages gracefully.”

“That’s a possibility,” Donghae conceded, “but I don’t know of any thirtysomething that wears Converse high-tops and faded H.O.T shirts. The little Waseda pin on your jacket was also a bit of a giveaway.”

“Ah… I see.”

Another loud laugh pulled Kyuhyun from his embarrassment and, for some unknown reason, made him less self-conscious. “You’re adorable, Kyuhyunnie.”

“I am not,” he sniffed.

Donghae rolled his eyes and laid back down on the bed, stretching out until the distinct pop of several vertebrae echoed through the room. “You’re cute as hell. Now come over here before I have to drag you here.”

“I am a grown man and I am not ‘cute’, goddamn it,” Kyuhyun scowled, eyes narrowed and arms crossed. “For someone that professionally sleeps beside people, you’re not doing a very good job of relaxing me.”

“No one ever said that this was my profession,” Donghae replied, “and I’ll have you know that several people would be very flattered if I told them they were cute.”

“Good for them.”

Letting out a very undignified, very un-grown-man-like squeak, Kyuhyun felt a strong arm wrap itself around his waist and drag him away from his spot on the bed. He was too surprised to even put up much of a struggle.

“If you don’t stop being so cute, I’ll keep you here forever,” cooed Donghae, coaxing the younger man onto his side and pulling him into his broad chest. Kyuhyun felt his warmth seep into his skin through their t-shirts and spread throughout his body. “Kyuhyun-ah? No offense, but you smell kinda like cigarettes.”

“Uh,” he replied intelligently. “I, uh, my roommate smokes a lot. He smokes like a damn chimney. I can never get the smell out of my hair.” It was mostly a lie, but he really could never get that smell out no matter how hard he tried.

Donghae sighed and shifted slightly to make himself more comfortable. “I understand; I’ve had plenty of troublesome roommates, myself.”

“Yeah, he’s troublesome alright,” he muttered.

Propping himself up on his elbow slightly, Donghae leaned over and gently whispered into his ear, sonorous and soothing. “Go to sleep, Kyuhyun-ah. You need it.”

And like someone flipped a switch, his eyes fluttered shut and he fell through the deep void of unconsciousness, the outside world not even an afterthought. He dreamt of a childhood winter spent in Busan wrapped up in a blanket with his favorite stuffed animal while watching the snow fall in light drifts from his window. He never felt so content in his life.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

When Kyuhyun came to, he was alone. He honestly didn’t expect anything else, but it was still jarring compared to what happened hours – was it hours? – ago. Reaching for his jacket, he dug out his phone and looked at the time – he’d been asleep for six hours straight. Before he could be happy about getting some semblance of a good night’s sleep, a mild panic set in as he realized that he’d probably racked up an enormous bill just by dozing off. He quickly grabbed his things and took off for the stairs, hoping that however much it cost wouldn’t break his budget for the month. (He wasn’t destitute, but his apartment alone made for an incredibly tight budget and he scrimped for every last yen he could save.)

Finally reaching the reception counter, he was relieved to see Mina still at the counter and unoccupied with any other customers – he really didn’t want to make a scene if somehow he couldn’t pay the bill.

“Hello, Kyuhyun-ssi. Did you sleep well?” she asked in slightly accented Korean. Her thoughtfulness eased his panic slightly despite himself.

“Yes, I did – very well, actually. Now, how much do I owe you, miss?”

“Nothing at all! It… it was a promotional deal. One session free,” she said, smile wide and demure.

Kyuhyun blinked in surprised while his heart slowed down to a reasonable pace at the news. “Oh, I see. Thank you very much.”

“Um, Donghae-ssi wanted me to give this to you. He said if you needed him again to use this.” She slid a tiny slip of folded paper towards him, motioning for him to take it. “Please visit us again!”

He opened it and mentally read the name Lee Donghae and a phone number scrawled on it in cute Hangul. “I hope I won’t have to,” he chuckled. “Have a good day.”

When he stepped out of the store, the lights of Akihabara replaced the dreary overcast skies of previous hours and shocked him back into reality. He wandered back to his tiny, lonely apartment feeling like he had electric blood running through neon veins.

The first thing he did upon finally returning to his place was toss his cigarettes out. Going out and buying ridiculous amounts of scented candles and ultra-strength laundry detergent was second. He told himself at first that he needed to start living cleaner and get healthier, but he wasn’t so delusional as to believe that there wasn’t another motive. (Kyuhyun always prided himself on his self-awareness, even though it got the best of him at times.)

He’d also remembered to store Donghae’s phone number in his address book before he did something completely stupid and lost it. He wasn’t sure why exactly the older man left him his phone number, but he figured that questioning it too hard would do nothing but stress him out more – and that’s the last thing he needed.

Finally returning to his precious laptop, he scanned through his repertoire of websites yet again until a familiar chime alerted him to yet another message from Sungmin.

More amused than annoyed, he set his laptop back on his coffee table and leaned back into his couch. Was he gay? He knew he liked Donghae a lot and for the past few days, he replayed their entire encounter over and over in his head (he couldn’t even try to lie and say it was to help him sleep; he enjoyed reliving the moment).

If he truly considered it, he could see himself being more-than-friends with the man, but then again, he’d never been more-than-friends with anyone else so his frame of reference seemed rather unreliable. He’d had crushes, sure, but they’d been on girls – very pretty, highly intelligent, wonderful girls that weren’t interested in him (which he understood and respected). He remembered what Heechul told him long ago at a gathering of the old neighborhood gang and seriously thought about it.

He’d said, in a sort of drunken slur, “The best way to know if you’re gay is simple – can you imagine having with men? Do you want to them or do you want to be ed by them? And if so, do you exclusively want with men? If you have answered yes to any of the above, then you are gay congratulations and welcome to the club we have sequined t-shirts.”

Kyuhyun felt his ears nearly burn off his head at the mere thought of with anyone, much less another man. As for with Donghae – he buried his head underneath a throw pillow and willed the thought away before he exploded from the embarrassment. Maybe Sungmin was right; perhaps he was aual and wanted nothing to do with any of it. Perhaps Donghae was simply a crush and Kyuhyun was simply attracted to beauty rather than what another person could offer him in bed.

He laid there on the couch and entertained the idea of human beings having the ability of parthenogenesis before drifting off to sleep.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Things in Kyuhyun’s life seemed to solidify a little, the haze easing back as he finally came back into a semblance of a circadian rhythm associated with normal human behavior. The professors’ lectures started making sense again and the constant edge felt distant now. For the first time since living in Tokyo, he felt fully in control of himself and his life.

That is, until midterm exams and essays destroyed any chance of keeping sane.

One night of hardcore cramming complete with enough caffeine and nicotine to fuel a film noir detective through an entire trilogy was enough to kill any hope of maintaining equilibrium whatsoever. Residual stress from his exams as well as stress from not being able to sleep threw him back headlong into his insomnia without anything to catch his fall. That familiar haze descended upon his mind as the days and nights melded into one long, monotonous chore with no end in sight. He had to call him; he couldn’t think of anything else to do at this point.

The line on the other end rang twice, which gave Kyuhyun enough time to build his way up towards a mild panic attack before he heard “Moshi moshi?”

“Um, hello,” he replied in Korean, hoping to get his attention quickly. “This is Kyuhyun – from Soineya?”

“Kyuhyun? Oh, the cute one! I never thought you’d call,” Donghae chirped, sounding genuinely happy to talk to him. Kyuhyun felt something flutter in his chest and he wasn’t sure if it was his crush flaring up or it was just nice to feel wanted for once.

“Yeah, that’s me,” he replied sheepishly. “Um, see, the thing is, you helped me out a ton the last time I saw you, but since then, I’ve fallen back into bad habits and… well, I was just wondering if I could come see you again.”

There was a few seconds of silence on the other line. “Actually, Kyuhyun, I’ll tell you what – come see me later today and we’ll talk about something that might help you out. Is three alright for you? Outside Soineya?”

“Uh, I suppose. Yeah, sure. I can do that,” Kyuhyun stuttered. “I’ll see you then.”

“See you!” And the line went dead. Noticing that it was already 1:45, he snatched his keys off the table and raced out the door, hoping the train towards Akihabara would get him there in time.

After a harrowing experience in trying squeeze into the only train that could feasibly make it to Shinjuku within his timeframe, Kyuhyun found himself outside of Soineya’s doors yet again, this time with Donghae waiting outside of them.

“Hey there,” he said, waving and smiling that damned smile that made Kyuhyun hate him just a little. “You’re on time. Let’s head on over to the coffee shop over here; I’ve got an idea to help you out.”

“We’re not…?”

Donghae looked confused for a moment, but then he looked to where Kyuhyun was looking and shook his head. “Nah, I think I’ve got something better. Just hear me out.”

They both ordered drinks (Donghae a hot chocolate and Kyuhyun a vanilla iced coffee) and grabbed an isolated table towards the back of the store, neither feeling it was necessary, but still finding it more comfortable than anywhere else in the place.

“So, you’re having problems falling asleep again,” Donghae started.

“Yeah, that’s the jist.”

“And you said that sleeping next to me helped you out, right?” Kyuhyun hummed in agreement.

“See, I don’t know if sleeping next to someone was necessarily what you needed. I think you’re homesick,” he concluded. “From the way you reacted when you met me at Soineya, you probably have no friends from your own country here and you miss having human contact with someone you can actually connect with. That will make anyone restless and anxious.”

Kyuhyun gave him a withering stare and sighed deeply. “So are you a therapist now or something? What’s next – are you going to ask about my relationship with my mother?”

“If you think that’ll help,” he grinned, Kyuhyun’s annoyance not fazing him in the least.

“So where’d you go to school then, Dr. Therapist sir?” asked Kyuhyun as he took a long sip of his coffee.

“Never went to college. You don’t have to have a diploma to know someone’s lonely, though.” Kyuhyun’s eyes shot up and met Donghae’s for the briefest of moments before quickly shifting down. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being lonely and not liking it, you know. No need to be embarrassed.”

“I just – I wish I could cope with whatever it is that’s bothering me better. I don’t know if it’s homesickness or stress or loneliness or all of it, but I’m ashamed that I can’t get through it on my own. Coming to Japan has been the only real thing that I’ve worked for my entire life – the chance to get away – but it looks like I can’t even manage that without failing,” he grumbled, carding his fingers through his near-shoulder length raven hair. He noted absentmindedly that the ends were starting to curl a little, but he couldn’t care enough about it to get it cut.

“No one ever said that moving to a whole new country would be easy,” Donghae said, arms crossed on the table and chin resting on his forearms. He looked up at Kyuhyun and gave him a perfectly pitiful kicked puppy look that would melt even the iciest of hearts. “And really, you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve managed to be here without completely going off the deep end for what, six months or so?”

“Yeah, about that long,” he said.

“That’s an achievement in and of itself – when I first moved here, I nearly went crazy after just a month. I was also lucky enough to have a friend here, but I still managed to feel out of it.”

“You mean Mina-san?”

Donghae smiled at the mention of the name. “Yeah. We met a long time ago back when we both lived in Korea and we’ve been friends ever since. I helped her with her Korean and she’s helped me with my Japanese. She was also the one that practically supported my broke when I came here.”

“Were you and her ever…?” Kyuhyun asked, feeling that familiar downward pull on his stomach.

“What? Never. She’s my big sister; I could never think of her like that,” he pouted. “She’d kill me if the thought even crossed my mind.”

“Ah. So, you never said what brought you here – you know I’m here for college,” Kyuhyun said, quickly changing the direction of the conversation. He couldn’t let on that he’d been just a little too happy at Donghae’s answer.

“Eh, it’s a really stupid and incredibly inane story. Totally boring. And before you ask, I had to learn Japanese for a job that I’d rather not ever have to remember again,” he groaned, head sinking into his arms and away from Kyuhyun’s inquisitive stare. “Why are you attending Waseda? Seoul not good enough for the likes of you?”

“Nothing like that – I just wanted to get out. I’m a music student there and they have a great program here, so might as well go for it, you know?”

“Music student? What’s your focus?”

“I’m a singer, or so they tell me. Now, what is your grand plan for curing me of my ills?”

Donghae looked up at that, a huge grin splitting his face. “What better way to get you back on track for sleep than to wear you out to the point where you’re begging to get to bed?”

“…I don’t know if I like where this is going.”

“I figure it this way – getting you out of your routine and forcing you to forget about your worries for a moment while providing companionship and making you stay awake long enough to readjust your sleeping schedule just might be the thing that really puts you back into the swing of things.”

Kyuhyun gave him a hard stare before sitting his iced coffee down. “Alright, so how do you plan on doing that?”

“Easy – we have a national capital at our disposal as well as a train that’ll take us anywhere you want. I’m off from work for the next couple days and you don’t have class until Monday morning.” Donghae’s excitement bled into his voice and Kyuhyun couldn’t help but feel it, too. “So, for the next twenty-four hours, we’re going to explore Tokyo and all its glory.”

“This sounds eerily like a date,” Kyuhyun laughed, hoping not to sound too excited about that.

“It’s only a date if you want it to be, loverboy,” Donghae winked, which inevitably made Kyuhyun flustered. “I’m kidding – now are you coming or what? Trains don’t wait forever.”

“You’re serious? Right now? I barely know you.”

It was Donghae’s turn to look confused. “What is it you want to know about me? I’m pretty much an open book. My name is Lee Donghae – I’m 22 years old and I love dancing and drawing. I work over at the bookstore next to Soineya and I share an apartment with Mina-san here in Akihabara. I’ve never been arrested and I don’t do drugs or anything else illicit. Is there anything else you’d like to know about my background before we go, or…?”

“I-“ Kyuhyun suddenly felt incredibly embarrassed and a little ashamed. “I’m sorry; that sounded really rude. If you don’t want to help me out anymore, I understand. But… you don’t work over at Soineya?”

“Nope. I told you that before you fell asleep, if I remember correctly.”

“I feel deceived somehow.”

“If anyone deceived anyone, it’s you that fooled yourself,” he laughed. “Besides, you didn’t seem to mind when you were all snuggled up against me and sleeping like a log.” Kyuhyun groaned audibly in embarrassment. “You’re the cutest thing when you’re sleeping, by the way. You don’t snore or drool or anything gross like that.”

“Please, let’s just go before I die from embarrassment,” he relented.

“You sure? Or I can also tell you about how you eventually turned over and nestled yourself into my shoulder while you were asleep.”

“I’m really starting to hate you now,” Kyuhyun groused, leaving the table and walking out the door with Donghae in tow, the older man laughing all the while.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Kyuhyun was entirely unsure as to why they ended up in Ikebukuro on this not-a-date, but he honestly couldn’t complain much. They’d spent the day wandering up and down several random streets looking for absolutely nothing in particular and buying literally whatever caught each other’s fancy – towards the end of the afternoon, Donghae bought some very nice ink pens as well as some sketch paper while Kyuhyun bought a slightly nicer jacket than the one he’d been wearing. (Donghae, of course, helped him in the decision-making process.)

While in the middle of a particularly large shopping mall, Kyuhyun stopped dead in his tracks and gaped openly at a large poster that hung in a storefront window advertising a special televised concert, broadcasting live later in the evening, featuring two incredibly famous idols performing together for the first time. He saw the name of the venue and winced – Kioi Hall was small and seating was obviously limited. The fine print at the bottom gave a number for concertgoers to enter a ticket raffle, but they likely had already closed the lines. He stood there anyway, still in awe that he once had a chance to see her in person.

“Are you serious? You’re in love with Hamasaki Ayumi?”

Kyuhyun honestly thought about indulging Donghae with a show of annoyance, yet he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything other than excitement. “I’m not in love with her, stupid jerk,” he sighed wistfully, “I love her voice, her songs, her persona – but I don’t know her personally. I’m just a fan.”

“Really now?”

“Yeah. I’m actually going to perform one of her pieces for Jury at the end of the semester,” Kyuhyun added.

Donghae’s snort was loud and obnoxious. “One of the pieces that her producers created for her?”

“She is an accomplished songwriter and composer, so kindly off,” he snapped back without any real venom in his voice.

Donghae only laughed as he dug through his pockets. “So what about Jung Yunho? Mr. ‘King of K-Pop’ up there?”

“Well, he’s obviously very talented and his dancing is second to none. He definitely deserves to share a stage with her as a fellow performer. They really couldn’t have picked a better representative for this K-Pop/J-Pop concert thing, but I guess I just appreciate Ayu-chan on a deeper level.”

“Ayu-chan.”

“Shut up.”

Phone up to his ear and conversation dropped, Donghae shot Kyuhyun a devious sort of smile as the ringing tone sounded through the earpiece.

“Hey, hyung, it’s Donghae – you promised me you’d tell me when you were in Japan again! I had to find out from an ad… You know I can’t ever stay mad at you. Listen, do you want me to come by and see you afterwards? And can I bring a friend? He’s not a fanboy or whatever, he’s an aspiring musician and I think it’d do him some good to see show biz for himself. You’ll do it? Really? Thanks, hyung! See you soon!”

Throughout the entire conversation, Kyuhyun looked on in confusion and a slight hint of worry.

“Well, you don’t really have to thank me, but it would be nice,” said Donghae as he put his phone back into his pocket.

“Thank you for what, exactly?”

“I only did the impossible and got us backstage for that very concert that you’re drooling over. I mean, you did want to see your precious Ayu-chan, right?”

Kyuhyun felt his jaw drop and eyes grow impossibly wide in response. “I could seriously kiss you right now.”

“Yeah, don’t do that – we’re in public.” He still ended up in a giant awkward bear hug in the middle of a crowded shopping mall, regardless of his profanity-ridden protests. “Mmmphmfmmfmfmfph.”

“What was that?” asked Kyuhyun as he finally let Donghae leave his embrace.

“I said, ‘Let me go so we can get there on time’, you idiot,” he panted. “Let’s get out of here before we miss the Fukutoshin line back to Shibuya in order to connect to the Hanzōmon line to Chiyoda. We may miss the concert, but we’ll be able to catch them before they leave the venue.”

Without further argument, they took off together towards the Ikebukuro rail station and passed their famous owl without much ceremony in their race to get to the train on time. After frightening the poor girl that manned the ticket booth, they grabbed their tickets and managed to find a comfortable seat just as the doors shut and the train pulled out of the platform.

While on the train, Kyuhyun’s mind had a chance to come off its endorphin high and process the situation fully. It hadn’t at all occurred to him to question exactly how Donghae managed to get them into the biggest televised concer of the year – all that mattered was his idol and nothing more.

“Hyung, how exactly did you pull off what you just did? Do you know someone that works backstage?” he asked, voice lowered so as to not catch the attention of anyone else on the train that might be attending the same concert.

“Know someone that works backstage? How about someone that works onstage?” he replied, cocky smile still in place.

Kyuhyun’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Like a backup dancer or something?”

“Nope. Try again.”

“Uh, a backup singer?”

“Negative.”

He took another few seconds to think about it, but then- “You can’t possibly mean –“

“The one and the same. Jeollanam brothers, they called us – I’m from Mokpo and he’s from Gwangju,” Donghae said. “We’ve been very close for a long time, and I usually go to see his concerts or just visit with him backstage whenever he comes this way. Sometimes, when they give him a chance to breathe, I’ll take him out for a couple of drinks or something.”

Kyuhyun listened on in awe, mouth slightly open and eyes constantly blinking. “I still can’t believe that you’re so personal with the biggest export from Korea since Hyundai.”

“Well, I’m sure that Yunho-hyung would love to hear you call him that,” he laughed.

“But wait a minute, you said ‘they called us’ – who is ‘they’? How do you know him, anyway?”

Donghae’s amused expression turned into a wince as he shifted his gaze away from Kyuhyun. “It’s kind of a long story, actually. We both moved to Seoul around the same time, and well… yeah, it’s actually very long and complicated and stupid. I will say, however, that becoming friends with Yunho-hyung was possibly the best thing to come out of that entire experience.”

Deciding that it was best to drop the subject, Kyuhyun settled into his seat and spent the rest of the short train ride back to Shibuya in relative silence. After they transferred to the next train, the mood seemed to lighten up and they talked about nothing and everything all at once. Kyuhyun learned that Donghae’s true passion, other than dancing, was comic books. He loved reading them, collecting them, and occassionally drawing them. “I don’t ever think I’ll be professional,” he’d said, “but it’s just something to wile the time away.” It would never cease to amuse Kyuhyun that someone beautiful and essentially cool like Donghae enjoyed such a geeky pastime.

They’d also bonded over a shared love of older music and American sci-fi films – Donghae’s older brother spent every Sunday morning making him watch the newest imports with him while Kyuhyun’s first time in a movie theater had been to see The Matrix with a favorite uncle. As they chattered on and on, Kyuhyun had nearly forgotten all about Donghae’s odd misgivings until they finally reached Chiyoda and got off near the concert venue.

They made their way to Kioi Hall without much more conversation, choosing to conserve their breath for the walk there. Donghae had been right and it seemed that the concert was in full swing by the time they reached the building, but the security guards at the rear entrance had his name (plus a guest), so getting backstage was no problem at all.

“Donghae!”

The pair turned around and saw Jung Yunho himself walking towards them in all his majestic glory, the sheer embodiment of confidence and grace combined with stunning good looks and a killer smile. Kyuhyun briefly thought that there had to be something in the Jeollanam water to recreate that same sort of effortless perfection they both shared as he watched the two friends hug each other and chatter animatedly.

Donghae finally turned his attention to Kyuhyun after a few moments. “I’m sorry; I’ve forgotten myself. Yunho-hyung, this is my friend Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun, this is Jung Yunho.”

“Hi there, Kyuhyun. It’s always nice to meet a friend of Donghae’s,” Yunho said, extending his hand in greeting.

Kyuhyun dumbly reached out and shook his hand, barely remembering to say anything in return. “It’s nice to meet you, too. I’m a big fan, Yunho-ssi,” he managed to blurt out.

“You don’t have to be so formal with me, Kyuhyun – any friend of Donghae’s is a friend of mine. Come on, I’ll take you guys back to the lounge while I get ready for my encore stage; we’ll catch up as soon as I’m done, alright?”

“Sure, hyung. See you in a few.” They followed him the short distance to a small room where backup dancers filled various couches and snacked on the food the venue provided. Yunho left them to their own devices, reassuring them that he’d return quickly.

Donghae turned to Kyuhyun and motioned for him to take a seat. “I’ll be right back; I’m going to find the restroom. Try not to get into trouble, alright?”

“Yeah, whatever,” Kyuhyun sniffed. With that, he set off to find an unoccupied seat and possibly grab something off the table.

Just as he was about to start his search, an impossibly young man caught his attention with a smile and an open seat cushion beside him. Seeing nothing wrong with the situation, he took the kid’s offer and sat down next to him.

“Uh, hi there. I’m Kyuhyun,” he greeted.

The kid smiled at him again. “I’m Taemin. You’re a friend of Donghae-ssi’s, right?”

“Yeah, I am. Why do you ask?” he questioned, a little puzzled as to where this was going.

“No reason in particular! Just striking up conversation, is all,” he said. “Well, I also kinda wanted to know more about him, I guess. I’ve heard the stories, but I don’t know much else about him.”

The mention of ‘stories’ completely took him aback. “What? What stories? Why do you all seem to know him, anyway?”

A dancer with a stocky build and a goatee overheard their conversation and butted in. “You’re his friend and you didn’t know? Lee Donghae is practically a legend in our company. He was a trainee with Jung Yunho and they were actually set to debut in a group together. Back when he was with the company, Donghae-ssi was considered one of the greatest dancers ever to come through those doors.”

Kyuhyun’s eyes nearly came out of his skull. “You’re not serious. He said he liked dancing, but I never thought he was almost professional.”

“It doesn’t surprise me,” the older man scoffed. “The rumors say that after he left the company, Donghae-ssi gave up on the industry completely.”

“What happened? Why would he give up his lifelong passion like that?” Kyuhyun asked, beyond intrigued.

“No one knows for sure,” Taemin answered, a little excited about talking about everything in the open. “All anyone knows is that a month before debut, Donghae-ssi suddenly left the company and the group that was going to debut split up; other members went to other groups while Yunho-ssi went solo.”

“Alright, but why Tokyo? He’s from Mokpo; why couldn’t he just go back home?”

“If the rumors are true, then there’s no way he could go back home and face that shame. They say that the company wanted the group to promote in both Korea and Japan, so they gave them all lessons in Japanese during training,” the older dancer said. “If you have the ability to get away from it all, you take it, right?”

Kyuhyun only looked more confused as the conversation continued. “But what rumors are you guys talking about? What makes a man leave his home country, his family, and a lucrative career overnight?”

“Well…,” Taemin stalled, “the most prevalent rumor, and I don’t know where it came from because it’s been around since before I joined the company, is that Donghae-ssi was caught in an inappropriate relationship with another trainee. That’s the one Byunghyun-hyung’s talking about.”

He couldn’t help but sneer in disbelief. “Are you serious? That was what pushed him to move to Japan? I couldn’t see that happening even if he got her pregnant; he’s a responsible man.”

“Ah…”

“He meant with another male trainee,” Byunghyun spat. “The reason they booted him from the company was because he’s gayer than a in’ fairy and they didn’t want that happening in an idol group. They said to either leave on his own or they’d kick him out, so he did the smarter thing. And honestly? I say good riddance; no one needs that kind of bull when you’re living and working together. He’s a in’ waste of time and energy.”

“Excuse the out of you,” Kyuhyun snapped, standing up and fists unconsciously clenched. “I don’t know if you’re bitter because he’s obviously legendary and you’re not, but you can take your ty opinions and shove them back up your . Gay, straight, whatever, he’s a far better person than you.”

Byunghyun stood up as well, taking Kyuhyun’s stance as a challenge. “Oh, are you actually his boy-toy? Are you gonna defend his honor? How cute, little man. You gonna do somethin’?” He panicked and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “W-well, try me! I know taekwondo!” he lied.

“Yeah, and I know the art of whoop-your-, kid. Let’s take it outside if you’re feeling froggy.”

Unbeknownst to anyone in the room, a bunch of cords running underneath the couch managed to hook themselves around Byunghyun’s feet, thus sending him to the ground with a very loud crash when he tried to move towards Kyuhyun. Everyone in the room that had been watching the commotion ran over to the scene and found the older man unconscious, feet still tangled in the cords.

“What the hell happened here?!” Everyone’s heads whipped around to find a very confused Yunho and an even more confused Donghae standing at the doorway. The pair rushed over to discover for themselves what happened mere moments ago.

“Uh, Byunghyun-oppa and Kyuhyun-ssi were arguing and then stuff happened and then he wanged his head on the floor,” shouted a young female dancer.

“Kyuhyun? What the hell?” Donghae asked incredulously. “I’d be angry, but I’m more surprised that you have enough lead in your to knock out anyone, much less a big guy like him.”

“But hyung, I-“

“Kyuhyun-hyung didn’t hit anyone!” Taemin shouted. “Byunghyun-hyung’s feet got wrapped up in those cords and he slipped. He’d been saying rude stuff about Donghae-ssi and he wanted to fight him, but this happened.”

Yunho watched on while everyone shouted random bits of information and pieced together what supposedly went on. “Alright, alright, everyone,” he announced, tone imperial and commanding. He couldn’t help but smile when the room went completely silent. “Kyuhyun isn’t to blame for what happened, but now we’re out a dancer for the encore performance. We’re going to have to adjust everyone’s positions and make do without.”

“You have another dancer right here, Yunho-hyung,” Taemin piped up, pointing a shy finger towards Donghae.

Donghae stepped back and waved his hands in front of him. “No, I couldn’t possibly step in; I don’t know any of your routines and there’s no time to practice.”

“You know this routine – you helped create it,” Yunho stated.

Donghae immediately caught on to what he meant. “You’re seriously doing ‘Return to Me’? That’s so old, though.”

“It’s the fans’ favorite,” Yunho shrugged. “And no one in this room knows it better than you.”

“I-“ and Donghae looked ready to him down, but his eye caught Kyuhyun’s hopeful expression and he wavered. “I’ll do it.”

“Come on, we’re on in twenty; Ayumi-san’s set is just about to wrap up soon and the MCs will be out there for a while. You need to get into something you can dance in – warming up wouldn’t hurt you, either,” Yunho said, pulling Donghae out of the room and leaving Kyuhyun with the other dancers.

“That was cool, hyung!” Taemin shouted, patting Kyuhyun on the back.

“’Hyung’? I didn’t do anything cool; he was just careless.” A few of the other dancers sat around Byunghyun and checked for any other injuries, taking care not to move him about in case they did any worse damage to him. One said that he’d wake up any moment.

“It was cool that you stood up for your friend like that, especially to Byunghyun-hyung; he’s kind of a bully and he pushes people around a lot,” explained Taemin. “And you’re now a hyung in my book.”

Kyuhyun wanted to tell this kid that they weren’t at all close and it wasn’t necessary to call him that, but Taemin looked too happy and he didn’t have the heart to do it in the end. “Uh, thanks. Should I still be waiting here when he wakes up, or…?”

“Oh! No, I’ll show you where you can see the encore performance. This should be a real treat.” They took off out of the room and down the hall where security took him to the standing-room only area and wished him the best of luck.

After several minutes of nearly swimming through the crowds, Kyuhyun finally found a good vantage point that wasn’t dangerously close to the stage, but not too far away from it, either. A few moments after that, the lights went down and the crowd went deathly silent in anticipation.

Then, without warning, the stage came alive in an explosion of lights and sound, Yunho standing in the center of their formation and Donghae in a prominent position beside him. The crowds went absolutely wild as a song that Kyuhyun recognized from hearing it several times on the radio came blasting out through the speakers and each person on the stage moved in perfect unison with each other. Kyuhyun tried to pay attention to the entire routine, but he found that he could only keep his eyes on Donghae’s fluid grace and nothing else.

Halfway through the song, the other dancers moved off the stage to leave only Yunho and Donghae there for the famous dance break, both bodies moving together in perfect time and each in complete mastery of the routine. There was no doubt in Kyuhyun’s mind that this was Donghae’s dance, inside and out. It crossed his mind that if this rumor were true, then the other one might be, but before he could think about it too much the song ended with a flourish and the crowd drowned out any other thoughts he had.

After the crowds dissipated and Taemin finally came to fetch him from outside the security gate, Kyuhyun found himself backstage again and reunited with Donghae and the rest of Yunho’s crew. Finding him sitting in the corner and towelling off, he grabbed a bottle of water and brought it to the elder man, hoping it was at the very least a decent token of admiration.

“That was amazing, hyung,” Kyuhyun said as he offered him the bottle, giddiness barely contained in his voice. “You looked like you belonged there. It was… natural.”

Donghae looked up at him from his task and gave Kyuhyun a warm smile, taking the bottle and draining nearly half its contents. “Thank you. It’s been so damn long, though; I’m completely out of it.”

“Well, you fooled me,” Kyuhyun joked. He paused to pick small bits and pieces of confetti out of Donghae’s hair. “What do you say we get out of here? I’ll treat you to Denny’s or something; it’s late at night and that’s the perfect time for breakfast.”

He quirked an eyebrow up at him, but stood up and wrapped an arm around Kyuhyun’s shoulders anyway, leading them out of the room and into the hallway. “I will absolutely take you up on that offer, but I need to meet my end of the deal, first. Yunho-hyung has her stalled for a bit, but she can’t wait any longer.”

“Wait, you don’t-“

And then he felt himself being pushed into another room, face to face with the Empress herself, still in her full stage regalia and as flawless as a cut diamond. If there were any appropriate moment in which to completely break down and cry in happiness, Kyuhyun was sure this would be the one.

“Hello, there,” she greeted, holding out her dainty hand, delicate nails still covered in small jewels. “They tell me you’re a music student?”

“Y-yes, ma’am. I love your work,” he stuttered, gently taking her hand in an attempt to keep this dream from shattering.

She gave him a warm smile and Kyuhyun nearly wanted to die. “I’m happy that a true fan of music appreciates my songs. I’m sorry that I can’t stay for long, but I do wish you good luck with your career. Goodbye!” Before he could return the sentiment, her manager rushed in and ushered her out of the room into another one, going on about wasting time and dealing with fanboys properly.

“Are you going to be alright, Kyuhyun?” asked Donghae, giving him a solid shake of the shoulders.

“No. I will never be alright. I will never wash this hand and I will never forget this moment. I should pretty much die right here because nothing will ever be better than this,” he droned, barely acknowledging Donghae’s presence.

“Yeah, whatever loverboy, let’s get out of here before we get Yunho-hyung into trouble for letting us be back here for too long.”

Donghae led Kyuhyun out and, after bidding a quick farewell to Yunho and thanking him for his gracious hospitality, quickly left the venue. They managed to avoid the crowds on the way back to the train station, arriving with no incident (and no one recognizing Donghae from the concert). Distracted with recapping the concert and Donghae’s performance, they boarded a train without paying much attention to the train’s destination before it pulled out of the platform.

“…, we just totally got on the wrong train, didn’t we?” Donghae asked, looking at the little sign with a capital T and a sky blue circle around it.

“We were supposed to take the Hanzōmon line back – which one is this?”

“Tōzai.”

“Well, damn.”

“It’s alright,” Donghae reasoned, “according to the map here, there’s a stop at Waseda. All else fails, we’ll just try to find our way back to Shibuya from there.”

Kyuhyun let out a growl of frustration and pointed at the time schedules. “You do realize that the trains shut down for the night at 1 AM, right? It’s already 11:45; by the time we make it to Waseda – not even Shōdai itself, it’s just in the area – we’ll be too late.”

“Relax, will you? Even if we are too late for the trains, we’ll just walk back. Can’t be that bad, right?”

“If we’re trying to go back to Shibuya, then no, it would be pretty bad. It would take us over an hour to get back there on foot,” Kyuhyun said.

“Then we’ll just go back to my place in Akihabara – that’s closer, right?” Donghae suggested. Kyuhyun blanched at the suggestion of actually seeing where Donghae lived, much less staying there.

“Yeah, but it’s still a fair amount to walk and I don’t want to be an imposition or anything,” he replied.

“Shut up. If I thought it was an imposition, I wouldn’t have offered,” Donghae sighed. Kyuhyun knew he wasn’t angry at all, but he still managed to feel bad.

“Fine. But only because you insisted.”

Donghae just chuckled and leaned back into his seat. “Yeah, whatever. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Kyuhyun thought he’d just blinked, but when the loudspeaker crackled to life and announced that it was making its final run, his eyes shot open as he realized that they’d probably missed whatever stop they needed. He shook Donghae awake in a bit of a panic and they got off at the next station, not caring where it took them.

Shuffling their way off the platform and into a strange rail station, they stepped outside and took in their surroundings. Red lanterns decorated with elaborate kanji lined empty winding streets while dimly lit storefront signs advertised small teashops and cafés. It was a picturesque scene straight out of a hipster photography collection and the absense of crowds served to make it even more dream-like. It also completely disoriented them and made Kyuhyun panic a little.

“Hyung, I don’t remember taking a train to Kyoto.”

“I’m almost one-hundred percent sure that we’re not in Kyoto, Kyuhyun.”

“Then explain the geisha over there. And all the old stuff and the crazy-looking streets.”

Donghae groggily looked up at the station sign and read the kanji through bleary eyes. “I might be wrong, but I think that says ‘Kagurazaka’ – then again, I’m actually pretty awful at reading anything more complicated than kana. If I’m right, we’re still within Shinjuku and right next to your school.”

Kyuhyun let out a long-suffering groan as he laid his head on Donghae’s shoulder. “I just wanted to go home. Shōdai’s the last place I want to see right now.”

“Don’t worry about it. Since we’re here, let’s enjoy it – I hear there’s some really cool restaurants around here. Maybe we can get a geisha to come entertain us or something.” He took off from the station exit and started wandering down the nearest sidewalk.

Kyuhyun shuffled off after Donghae, not at all worried about losing him. “Yeah, really cool and super-expensive restaurants. You have to be a tycoon or a Yakuza boss or something to get in one of those. What happened to our plan to eat at Denny’s or whatever?”

“Well, unless you can find a Denny’s here, our plans have changed. I’m starving,” he grumbled. “Besides, this could be our big break into the Underground. We’ll work our way up and become the heads of the all the mobs in Tokyo – well, I’ll be the boss, you can be like my assistant or something.”

“I swear to God, Donghae-hyung, if you get us killed I will haunt you for the rest of eternity.”

“Nah, we’ll be alright. Besides, getting killed by Yakuza has to be better than like, dying in your sleep. That’s boring,” he said flippantly, eyes searching up and down the street.

“I really hate you sometimes.”

“No, you don’t,” he scoffed. “Your love for me is so intense that you when the great battle between our family and our rivals from across the city happens, you would take a bullet for me and at the end, you’d make a miraculous recovery but the entire experience validates our great friendship.”

“I actually don’t know what sort of drugs you take, but I want no part of that ,” Kyuhyun spat back.

Donghae turned around and put on his best pout, bottom lip wibbling and eyes boring into Kyuhyun’s soul. “You don’t mean that, Kyuhyunnie. You know you want to take over the Japanese crime syndicates with me and destroy our enemies in glorious battle.”

Before Kyuhyun could shut down Donghae’s hopes of becoming a crime boss, a loud commotion interrupted them and drew their attention to the entrance of a bar directly across the street. A small group of foreigners stumbled out of the doors singing something in the universal language of severe intoxication and possible alcohol poisoning.

“Oh, so there is some place open here this time of night,” Donghae noted as he watched the group wander down the street. “Good; I was starting to get worried that we’d never find anything.”

Kyuhyun looked up at the sign above the door and squinted his eyes. “What the hell is that place anyway? La Mar-“

“La Marseillaise,” Donghae read aloud in perfect French. “Fairly sure it caters to the French student population, but I’m sure we can find something to eat in there.”

“I’m choosing to ignore the fact that you know French and following you in there because I don’t think my sleep-deprived brain can process all of this right now,” Kyuhyun droned.

“With respect to your wuss of a brain, I studied it for a couple of years in high school; not fluent, but I can get myself out of trouble.” And with that, Donghae crossed the empty street with Kyuhyun in tow, entering the bar with little fanfare.

The establishment itself was very small, with a few booths and a very small bar tucked away into the corner. Various vintage posters in both French and Japanese papered the walls and some unintelligible music drifted out of the speakers installed into the ceiling. A small group of foreign students still packed one booth while a single man nursing a lone bottle of sake took another. The bar itself had a rowdy crew of typical-looking tough guy types at one end with the grizzled bartender side-eyeing them from the other. Every instinct in Kyuhyun’s gut told him to turn tail and get the hell out of there, but Donghae looked more than ecstatic to be there.

“Wow, I think this has to be the coolest bar I’ve been in since I’ve come to Tokyo,” Donghae whispered.

“If this is what you consider ‘cool’, I hate to see what’s terrible in your opinion,” Kyuhyun snorted.

“You wouldn’t know authentic if it bit you in the , jerk.”

“You’re authentically a pain in my .”

Donghae laughed then leaned in close to Kyuhyun’s ear. “Oh, I can be that for you if you want.” His laughter filled the entire bar as Kyuhyun violently pushed him away.

They found seats at the unoccupied end of the bar and ordered a couple of sodas (Donghae insisted that they needed to stay sober in order to stay on their mission). The two of them sat there together in relative silence while the gang at the end of the bar carried on with their rabble-rousing and the French students spoke at the top of their lungs. After Donghae had asked the bartender for a small order of takoyaki, one of the men from the end of the bar approached them.

“Hey, do either of you kids know how to sing?” he asked, breath reeking of sake and eyes unfocused. He was a rather portly man, but he was well-dressed and obviously wealthy, if the Rolex on his wrist was any indication. “There’s a karaoke station over there in the corner and I’ve got a request.”

“My friend here can sing – isn’t that right?” Donghae said as he clapped Kyuhyun on the shoulder.

“Uh, I’ve been told I’m alright,” Kyuhyun mumbled.

“Well, I want you to get up there and sing me something slow and jazzy – something kinda sad. I’m feelin’ nostalgic tonight and that’s what I want to listen to, but the stupid jukebox in this joint ain’t got anything I want to hear,” he slurred. “You do it, I’ll pay your tab.”

Donghae seemed to light up at this, pulling Kyuhyun off his stool and towards the karaoke machine. “You heard the man, Kyuhyun – consider this your first paid gig.”

Kyuhyun made his way towards the shabby mic stand and the small machine, hesitantly flipping through various songs in the search of that slow, jazzy, sad song that would save them a few hundred yen. Finding something that he figured would fit the bill better than anything else would on the machine, he selected it and the microphone.

“This is Sukima Switch’s ’Kanade’. I hope it’s what you wanted.”

When the music started up, he launched himself headlong into the song, deep and silk-rich voice soaring above the din of the bar and capturing the attention of every patron in the small club. (Even the cook came out from the back to watch this skinny kid belt his lungs out.) Some of the French students scrambled out from their booth and wandered over to the small platform of a stage just to get a better view. Kyuhyun, however, kept his eyes trained on the clock on the opposite wall to keep himself from trembling too hard.

The drunken group of older men soon interrupted his song with their loud wails; some blubbering into handkerchiefs while others grabbed napkins off the bar. Kyuhyun soldiered on through the song anyway, finishing it with a drawn-out note that rose through the air and managed to send chills up a few people’s spines. A momentary silence hung about until loud applause chased it away, a single figure at the bar cheering louder than anyone else.

When he finally returned to his seat, Kyuhyun felt strong arms wrap around his neck and a voice whisper, “That was so amazing, Kyuhyunnie! You said you could sing, but I had no idea!”

“You’re one to talk,” Kyuhyun laughed. “Besides, it was just a pop song; I can do better with jazz or something like it – especially if it’s in my own language.”

“Don’t put yourself down like that! Why am I just now hearing you sing? You should’ve given me a demo tape or something so I could’ve given it to Yunho-hyung or something,” Donghae demanded, voice nearly shrill in excitement.

Kyuhyun gave him an amused smile. “It’s not like in the past few days of our friendship I’ve had many opportunities to sing or anything. Besides, meeting Jung Yunho was rather spur of the moment; I don’t exactly carry recordings of myself around with me.”

“You should if you expect to be professional, ,” Donghae said. “You never, ever know when an opportunity will come your way – like it did tonight.”

“Point taken.”

Loud cheers and giant hands on their shoulders interrupted their exchange as they practically dragged Kyuhyun off his stool yet again and squeezed him inbetween them for a bone-crushing hug.

“That was great, kid! It’s exactly what I wanted,” the bigger man shouted in his ear. “You’re alright. You two can hang out with us tonight.”

“Wait, what?”

As it turned out, the three men – Kenji, Nobuhiro, and Takeshi – weren’t a terrible group to be around (as long as you, too, were in the group). Nobuhiro kept his word and paid for all of their drinks and food, even though they politely turned down his constant offers of expensive liquor. The gang had hilarious jokes and didn’t even seem to notice that their Japanese wasn’t perfect. After several more rounds of booze and a few more ballads courtesy of Kyuhyun, the trio gathered their things and headed towards the door.

“Hey kids,” Nobuhiro groaned as he reached inside his jacket, fishing out two business cards. “I like the both of you, and I want good things for you two. If you need anything, remember that you’re under the protection of Inagawa-kai, got it? I’ll see you kids around; stay out of trouble.”

Kyuhyun leaned over and whispered in Donghae’s ear, utterly confused. “Hyung, what’s Inagawa-kai?”

“Well, remember what I was talking about earlier? You know, the whole crime syndicate thing?”

“Yeah? Wait… Oh.”

“I think we need to go here soon.”

“Yeah.”

Donghae and Kyuhyun both warily accepted the cards from him and quickly stuffed them in their wallets, hoping that in doing so, no one will find out their purpose. They watched the men stumble out of the club in much the same way the exchange students did earlier in the evening before quickly making their way out back into the night, suddenly unsure about the whole life-in-crime bit.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Kyuhyun’s phone read 06:34 AM and the light nearly burned his tired eyes out. The ink-black sky ever so slightly began to fade into a greyish-blue as sunrise approached. He considered trying to catch the train – they started their runs at 5 AM – but he knew that it was an impossibility; it was the time of morning where people crowded the trains by the hundreds just to get to work on time. It wasn’t even worth the effort to descend the stairs, much less the fare.

Their journey from the bar in Kagurazaka led them through his school (which he griped about the entire time whilst giving Donghae an impromptu tour through the Shōdai campus) and into Shinjuku proper. Unsurprisingly, the city was more alive than ever as salarymen and office ladies rushed to their buildings and students made their way towards their respective schools. At that moment, Kyuhyun became incredibly grateful that his classes started later in the day.

“Hey, Kyuhyun,” Donghae said, nudging him out of his world to get his attention. “We’ve got to end this night in the right way and the perfect thought just came to me.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“Well, just follow me.”

And with that, Donghae led him around the corner and found a McDonald’s where he bought breakfast for the two of them. Taking their food to go, he led Kyuhyun all the way to the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building, forcing him into the elevator and riding it all the way up to the observation deck. Completely empty except for them, the large room opened up to a breath-taking panoramic view of the city. Kyuhyun gaped slightly as he took in the sight of the sunrise slowly conquering the Tokyo night with Mt. Fuji in the distance, the chill spring air unusually clear.

“I figure that the only way to truly experience a sunrise in the Land of the Rising Sun is to see it without any obstacles, you know?” Donghae said, setting down their food on a small table near the window and grabbing a chair. “I told you I’d end the night right.”

“This is… wow.”

“I’m happy you like it, Kyuhyun – now sit down before your food gets any colder,” he ordered, taking his own food out of the bag and going in on it. He motioned for him to take the chair next to his own, both facing out towards the landscape.

They ate in silence with Kyuhyun continually looking out over the view, admiring the way the sunlight lit up everything in lieu of the streetlamps and neon lights. It was a single moment of pure peace that he’d never experienced out in the middle of the city.

“So, not only did I get to catch up with an old friend, you found out my secret identity as an ex-almost-idol and got to see me relive my glory days. You also got to touch your precious goddess’ hand.

“Then we managed to not only get ourselves completely off track, but wind up with Yakuza connections as well as gaining a new little fanbase in Little Paris. You know, I’d say this was a pretty successful night, overall,” Donghae rambled fondly, smiling as he recounted the night’s events.

“Yeah, I guess it was,” Kyuhyun agreed. “But there’s something that’s been bothering me since what happened at the concert.”

“Oh, the argument between you and that one guy? Something about me, right?”

Kyuhyun sighed loudly, not looking forward to explaining this mess. “That’s the one. He told me that someone caught you with another male trainee. They didn’t want a gay man in an idol group, so they gave you the option to leave on your own or they’d kick you out in disgrace. You chose the former, so that’s why you’re here in Tokyo.”

A large smile spread across Donghae’s face as he burst out into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, nearly causing him to drop his second Egg McMuffin. “That’s even juicier than the rumor that I got a female trainee pregnant or the other one that said I got a DUI or something. Nice to know the rumor mill there hasn’t slowed down a bit. Besides, they wouldn’t kick me out if I were gay; they already have quite a few gay idols under their contract.”

Kyuhyun chuckled a little in relief – there wouldn’t be any awkward confessions and he clearly wasn’t offended. “Oh yeah? Like who?”

“I know for a fact that that one super-popular actor is gay. The one that does those action dramas… uh, Choi Siwon. That’s his name,” he mumbled over bites of his sandwich.

“Wait, the uber-religious one?”

“Yep. So deep in the closet he’s finding last season Prada shoes,” Donghae confirmed. “I think there are a few others, but he’s the one that comes to mind.”

“I see. So what was the deal? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

He sighed deeply and crumpled up the sandwich’s paper wrapper. “It wasn’t anything nearly as interesting as what people believe. The simple, honest truth is, I didn’t want that life for myself. I saw what it did to my seniors and I saw how it destroyed them, body and soul. I thought I was ready for it, but I guess I wasn’t. I took what they taught me and I came to Tokyo to get away from any of the stupid rumors because, much like you, I didn’t have a whole lot in Korea, anyway. I had Mina-san here because we met back at the company – she was a Japanese model hoping to find some work overseas and we both needed partners to study our respective languages, so we just kept in contact. After a while, Japan basically became like home and I didn’t look back.

“But honestly, sometimes I miss it. Sometimes I wonder what it would’ve been like to be in an idol group, to have oceans of adoring fans and to do what I truly loved – but when I see Yunho-hyung nearly dead after yet another Japanese tour just after coming out of a Korean comeback? I don’t even think twice about it.”

Kyuhyun listened intently throughout Donghae’s story, feeling like everything came into place at last. “I get that completely. I don’t know if I’d ever want to be an idol, personally. Hell, I doubt they’d take someone like me.”

“You? They’d eat you up. You’re damn adorable and you have a voice unlike anything I’ve heard, not even when I was a trainee,” Donghae said with a smile. “I don’t know if you’d be a traditional sing-dance-and-act idol, but they’d definitely want someone like you.”

“You keep calling me ‘adorable’ – you sure you’re not gay?” He meant that as a joke, but then Donghae seemed somewhat contemplative there for a while.

“Well, I’m not gay in the traditional ‘I’m-only-attracted-to-men’ sense. Biual, maybe? I’ve had girlfriends and I haven’t changed my mind much on women, so there’s that.”

Kyuhyun’s eyes widened in shock as he processed what he heard. “So you are attracted to men? That part wasn’t false?”

“You’re rather dense for a Shōdai kid, aren’t you?” he laughed. “But it is false in the sense that there’s no way anyone there could’ve known about my proclivities, considering I hadn’t really thought about it much until I left. Hell, I was only in high school when I was there.”

“I’m not dense, I was just confirming,” he sniffed.

“So now that I’ve divulged an incredibly personal part of my life, in exchange, you get to tell me all about your ual preferences.” Kyuhyun wanted to die for at least the twentieth time since last night.

“Uh, I don’t think I have any – as in, I don’t think I care much for any of it? I think people are good-looking, but I don’t think of them in that way, I guess. I just… I’m really unsure.” He fidgeted while under Donghae’s intense gaze, feeling more and more foolish by the second.

“Even people like me? Be honest with me; I can take it,” Donghae laughed, batting his eyelashes and tilting his head in a cute manner.

Kyuhyun sighed, suddenly wishing the giant windows would disappear and the wind would pull him away, but he steeled his resolve anyway and decided to be brave for once in his life. “I think you’re ridiculously beautiful. You’re pretty much everything I’m not and then some. I’m fairly sure I don’t deserve you, but if I can work up the courage to expatriate to another country on a whim, I think I can at least bring myself to be honest with you.”

Donghae’s expression turned confused as he listened to Kyuhyun ramble. “Kyuhyunnie…”

“I mean, I’m a nerd with little to no real life experience and I’m not that much to look at, but you make me forget that I’m an anti-social amoeba with acne scars and an embarrassingly encyclopedic knowledge of Final Fantasy facts,” he continued. “You make me forget that I’m suffering in this damn city – even if you don’t think that’s anything, it means far more to me than you know. I-”

He felt a soft, warm hand cup his jaw, forcing his attention to Donghae’s equally soft expression and those damned eyes of his. Neither of them were exactly sure who started the kiss, but both knew it was the absolute worst kiss in the history of all kisses – neither could stop smiling long enough to concentrate on the actual act.

“I thought you were dense, but as it turns out, you’re incredibly stupid,” Donghae murmured inbetween light kisses to his cheek. “You honestly thought I didn’t like you like that. I willingly slept next to you and I left you my phone number just because I liked you, not because I felt sorry for you. You’re so stupid.”

“I’d rather be incredibly stupid than an utter moron like you that would sleep next to a stranger and let said stranger contact you again just to drag him around one of the biggest cities in the world on a whim,” he scoffed, returning each kiss in kind.

He laughed, pulling away and staring deep into Kyuhyun’s eyes. Kyuhyun suddenly found the outside world rather uninteresting now. “Well, at least you’re not feeling homesick anymore.”

“No, I guess I’m not – and I swear to God, if you say anything cliché like ‘home is where the heart is’, I will never forgive you. Ever.”

“Shut up.” And he did, lips and tongue otherwise preoccupied with more important matters.










A/N: So, this is my second ricockulously long fic, which somehow became longer than my first ricockulously long fic by about 3K more words. Why can't I shut up. Anywho, I hope that my jiejie enjoyed it and I certainly do apologize for any factual errors in this story; I did extensive amounts of research (and relied heavily on Jiejie's expertise) in the hopes of not ing anything up, but things certainly do happen. I hope any mistakes made are tolerable enough and that you won't hate me forever.