Hi, PastaPrincess here! Sorry it took me a loooong while to get here. School stuff, uhm. Anyway, here it is:

As we know it, stories about unrequited feelings are common. What makes them stand out (at least for me) is their significance and timeliness. The more personal it is, the more real it becomes. I like how you weave the last part of the story (I dunno if it's just me but I like what Taemin said at the last part - ironically, your two characters are involved in the 'same' unrequited battle of feelings. Operative word: same. As much as I like how it became the turning point of the story, I'd like to see more on the depth and perhaps difference in their situation. What makes Taemin's situation more heartwarming than Haerim? The level or depth of feelings is important to sustain interest. What drives Taemin to not make a move on Haerin before? Why just now? Why did Haerin liked the guy so much? Those kind of things.
I think your story has potential to get from the bog of clichés that deem unrequited love/feelings a classic. Perhaps if you decide to write more of this or develop the story (characters, plot, etc) then you may consider focusing especially on the background of the characters, the movement of the plot, and the dialogue. :)

Chapter 2: Uuuk >< this story strikes me bcs it's really related to me huaaaah. Beautiful :'))