UNREQUITED
KRYBER SHOTS
My eyes were glued, zoning out onto the computer screen. I do not know for how long but my mind does its usual thinking process and I could only continually stare at those words.
UNREQUITED: means “unanswered” or “unrewarded”.
I would think of many things during the spare few minutes I would have. Yet my subconscious self brought me to an image of you working you’re a** off. So young but so determined and there’s nothing else I want to do better but be a bothersome-had-just-sprouted-pillar in your life.
Jung Soojung, would you give me the time of day amidst the busy lives we have now?
I heave out a deep sigh and wander my eyes past the monitor and on my phone.
If only I can tell you the many things that go inside my head like our day to day casual conversation. You, you and oh yeah, you.
Opening up my inbox, there’s a lot of messages in it with one thing in common (your name).
People know of it. The public even made up a name to ship us. Although I laugh as if it’s a good joke but I like it. Each hug and smile we would share for fan service I would treasure even if they were as good as something like a virtual reward. At least it'd get me into thinking that you were somehow mine.
Could I pretend and say straightforwardly that I like you? I started typing in those letters into a message.
“. . . . . .”
What am I thinking??? Without clicking on “send” I gripped tight of the phone and muffled my voiced agony against the pillows. Any girl would get scared off with such a bold confession! You might not even believe it!
*SIGH*
However, truly and honestly I do mean those words. But words put on the limits and they fall so short of every ounce of feeling I have for you.
You do know you tend to be weird, right? There’s more to you than a pretty smile. So many idiosyncrasies that are just so… so you. And also your weird taste for ideal type of men.
I mean what do they have?
Sure, they may be smart, talented, has so much to offer than me and may have the capability to offer you a house or two.
Tch! You should really pick them wisely.
But . . . Even if I am not as smart as your ideal type, not as talented, don’t have much to offer like building a house for you I would try my better than my best to make you happy more than he ever could.
So just be mine, neh?
God, I sound pathetic. It was as if I was practicing my confession to you over and over again until I can make it perfect.
However, if given the question on whether I would confess knowing the consequences.
My answer would be...
I would undoubtedly do it...
Again. Say it in front of you (not through my make believe thoughts) with a dorkish smile on my face, reddened ears, fidgeting hands and stuttering words. Professing my feelings for the girl whom I did not come to like through the imaginations I make up about her. But just how she is, flaws and all.
So until I could gather up the courage and strength to do that, can I love you freely from afar?
*Message alert tone*
Aish! Why am I over thinking again?!?
Unlocking the screen I scanned the message with both raised eyebrows and then went on texting you back and forth. Something is unusually weird so I tried to see if we were on the same page. I went searching for our conversation.
ME: “I like you”
YOU: “You sure?”
*Faints*
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Yep, it's a frustrated, fainting Amber in her own world.
My brain is making up things due to excessive loneliness and boredom. XD
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