I never did understand why I could keep away from you, everything you did made me more fascinated by your movements, I knew nothing could be done, you were male, I was male, so we were never meant to be right? Two males could never work out..

Your stupid diva ways, the way you can dance to any girl dance and look better than any of the other girls, hell you had a better body than the other girls..

I don't understand why you have this effect on me Kim Kibum, but whatever it is, I can't stop, I can't not be with you, my heart stops when you just simply brush me web you walk past, just by looking at me I can feel my heart beat faster than anything else.

"Jonghyun! Come help me" I turned around, being brought out of my thoughts, only to face you, staring at me with those cat like eyes "are you even listening to me?"

"Of course I am" when do I not? Everything you say get etched onto my brain, all our conversations being played in my head like a record before I sleep "what do you need?"

"I need someone to come shopping with me!" You smiled at me, your teeth are perfect, your face is perfect, hell everything about you is perfect, you stuck your bottom lip out and pouted, god your damn pout can make anyone's heart melt

"Of course I'll come with you" I replied smiling, I can never show you my pain, the fact that you can't love me back, it hurts Kibum, it hurts a lot..

So here I am, three hours later, ten shopping back later, we're back at the dorm, your putting some film on that you picked out earlier, you sat next to me and pulled the blanket over us both, you looked at me and smiled, this is when your most beautiful, no bb cream, just your natural face, it's better than any kind of drug.

~~~~~

"Jongie, wake up!" I opened one eye slowly to see you sitting over me, I sat up a little rubbing my eyes, still looking at you, you may not know this but I'm always looking at you Kibum, always "you fell asleep and I couldn't wake you, you looked too cute"

Why do you do this to me Kibum? Say these things and not mean them, can't you hear or feel my heart beat when your next to me? It sounds like the loudest thing on earth, but you'll never know just how much I'm in love with you..

"Sorry key, I didn't mean to fall asleep" I replied, you just smiled and nodded, ever since training you've never been angry at me, your never shouted at me, never once have we had an argument

"Don't worry Jongie, it was a romance and I know how much you hate them" you know me so well Kibum, yet you don't know that I love you? Isn't all the signs obvious? The way I go out of my way just to stand next to you, cancel everything I'm doing just to be with you for the day, you can't see it?

"Jonghyun, what are you doing?" Your standing in my doorway watching me with those eyes that can melt the sun, you move over to my bed an lay down beside me "can I watch?"

"Sure" it's all I can say, your so close to me now, your side is touching my side, your head is resting on my shoulder, you honestly can't hear my heart beat? Kibum what are you doing to me? To my heart? "Key, I need to tell you something"

You look innocently at me, your eyes are beautiful today, you've got no make up on, you've just woke up, I can tell by the sleep lines on your face, but none of this matters, what matters is what I'm going to say to you, your reply means more to me than anything else right now..

"What is it Jonghyun?" You smile at me, your making it worse, Kibum please stop looking at me like that, with those eyes, the way your lips speak my name, it should be illegal, your too perfect to me

"Kibum, no matter what I say, I want us to always be friends ok?" You nod still smiling, for the name of all that is holy Kibum stop, just stop, my heart feels like its about to explode "I'm in love with you Kim Kibum.."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, my whole body ran cold, my blood felt like ice running through my body, you didn't reply, you just stood up and walked to my door, I couldn't let you leave like that..

I ran to you and pushed you against the closed door, my arms either side of you, stopping you from escaping, I never wanted it to be like this Kibum, but I can't let you hate me, I just can't, I can't live without you key.

I kissed you harshly, I could feel you stiffen at the sudden action, I couldn't stop, please don't hate me Kibum.. I soon felt you relax at my touch, you let you hands rest against my chest, you pushed me away slightly, I let my forehead rest against yours, looking into your eyes.

"P-please don't hate me Kibum.." I begged, tears brimmed my eyes, just thinking about you leaving it killed me inside out, you cupped my face looking into my eyes, still not moving your forehead from mine, I could feel your breath on my face "say something, anything Kibum, please"

"J-Jonghyun.. I don't love you.. But I can learn to love you" you smiled at me and pulled me closer to you, kissing me, I closed my eyes, feeling you so close to me, I felt like I was going to die, my heart was going to explode "I'll learn to love you Jonghyun, just like you love me.."