I never knew that you held such place in my heart. I never knew just exactly how important you were to me and how I would never be the same without you. Until you turned your back on me. Until big fat tears were rolling down your cheeks, smudging your make-up, yet still making you look beautiful. I never appreciated just how gorgeous and wonderful you were. No. Although you were , yes WERE, I hate that word - my boyfriend, I only had eyes for your best friend, someone who was pretty and cute, everything I assumed you weren't. But I assumed wrong. It was twisted since the begining. YOU were everything HE wasn't. If he was pretty, you define the word beautiful. even though he is cute, he will never be the adorable person you are. And most importantly, he lacked personality. He did not have your fiery air, he did not speak the truth without holding back in every occasion, he did aegyo to look cute, not to annoy others like you do, he did not selflessly put up brave fronts for the sake of others when he was really dying inside, he wasn't confident and just a little bit arrogant yet still completely lovable like you, and...... he did not love me with such passion as you did. I wish I can rewind time, take it all back, put all the second chances you gave me into good use, but I can't. I cannot undo what I did, I cannot undo choosing Taemin over you. I thought that I finally did something right, I thought I was choosing not to prolong your pain, but in reality, it was the worst decision I ever made. 

 

You know, Taemin loves me, he really does. But not the way you love me. He loves me as a hyung, nothing more. He loves me, but he isn't IN love with me. He still doesn't realise it, and I can't break it to him. Maybe he isn't really as innocent as he seems, but I cannot hurt anybody else for my own selfishness. 

 

It hurts so much. It hurts so much to see that you got over me so quickly, that you moved on. I feel something breaking in me every time I see you hand-in-hand with another, flashing your adorable dimpled smile at him the way you smiled at me. He really makes you happy, that guy. He deserves you. Ironically, the guy you hold hands with today is the guy Taemin fell hard for. Taemin and I are similar, we find comfort in each other because we cannot have the ones we love. 

 

God, I love you so much, Kibummie...... I miss you. Minho-goon better take good care of you, and treat you like I should have but never did.

 

Is it selfish of me to think this? " Kim Kibum, will you forgive me?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A/N : English isn't my first language so I'm not really good at it. This story doesn't really have a point. I'm not a good writer. I know all of this so please, go easy on me ;P