NOT BETA-ED. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE AMOUNT OF STUPID IDEAS THAT I COME UP WITH. I ALSO AM SORRY IF THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU GUYS WERE EXPECTING FROM THIS FIC. OBVIOUSLY THE AVENGERS CAME OUT WHEN HEECHUL's not LIVING WITH SUPER JUNIOR. JUST PRETEND THAT THE AVENGERS CAME OUT BEFORE HEECHUL'S ENTLISTMENT PLEASE CAUSE I HAD TO INCLUDE THAT FILM IN THE FIC. I JUST HAD (cause I wanted to /LOL).

How to win over Kyuhyun

(or ten times Super Junior thinks Hyukjae is really useful)

Heechul observed how the youngest kept talking to him, explaining his point of view about something that normal people wouldn't find relevant enough to have a discussion over it,but they had opposite opinions as usual and as usual neither of them wanted to just let it go, stubborn men that they were, and so everything always ended up like this. He observed how Kyuhyun was trying his best superior-but-I-sound-like-a-jackass tone of voice. Heechul also observed how Kyuhyun started to not give his full attention to him once a black-haired man entered the kitchen and was now standing beside their open fridge bending a little to look inside and grab whatever food (not belonging to him) there was. Kyuhyun's glance was jumping from Heechul to the other.

When Hyukjae bent a little more though, his hand reaching for a can of Sprite, Kyuhyun's mouth stopped moving and his eyes stayed staring at Hyukjae's non-existent rear with a look which Heechul knew too well. Closing the fridge, Hyukjae straighted and flashed them a grin before walking out of the kitchen.

Kyuhyun cleared his throat when the other was completely out of their sight. He turned to Heechul, 'What was I saying?', he asked, not sounding the least bit interested to continue the conversation. And Heechul believed that he wasn't because Kyuhyun seemed to have other thoughts going on his mind. Kyuhyun's hand was sliding behind his neck and scratching there as if he was bothered about what just happened. He wasn't still meeting Heechul's eyes.

"Interesting", Heechul muttered under his breath, the biggest smirk was getting ready to make a way to his lips.

This information was not going to be wasted.

-

01. Though he made it quick to report his discovery to the other members (except Kyuhyun for obvious reasons and Hyukjae because Heechul figured it was more convenient for them to have the guy be unaware-- what wil they do if Hyukjae freaks out?), they all wasted three days much to Heechul disappointment. They were three days of Kyuhyun and his buddy Ego who ruined everyone's mood with their constant teasing.

His intention to test and to show everyone how to win over Kyuhyun had to be postponed on the fourth day and the cause of it was that Hyukjae was never at home. Those three days were rare days when Heechul was not pleased that their overcrowded apartments had at least a person out that was not going to return soon to ruin peace and bring noises.

Heechul was frustrated that Hyukjae was not at home. Because he couldn't mess with Kyuhyun's head and give the others a demonstration on how they should do it properly.

This day,even though Hyukjae was at home, wasn't a good day either for Heechul: Siwon had a drama and today he was needed to film the kissing scene part, Shindong had his radio-show at this hour and the others had to do things and they weren't around. The only one who could be present at Heechul's first and last lesson (because Heechul's pissed and when he's pissed he's going to punish and not teaching's a good punishment) was Donghae.

Heechul scowled. 

It was then that Donghae tucked his head in the space left by his ajar door. "Hyung, Kyuhyun's stopped playing games. He's on the living room's couch.", he informed and he said it in a way that made him sound so innocent,but he wasn't. Donghae grinned at him and Heechul responded with a small smile that erupted into a full one as he imagined what they're going to do.

He told himself that it didn't matter that there was only one person.

It's going be fun.

So fun.

"Find Hyukjae and drag him there."

Kyuhyun was occupying the entire couch with his body and when Heechul arrived he raised an eyebrow and he couldn't suppress to chuckle (silently) because the screen was flashing images of Hyukjae advertising jackets and t-shirts. If he had the slightest doubt that he was wrong, now Heechul was completely sure of what he was doing.

Kyuhyun was so into it that Heechul almost felt sorry when he interrupted him with a slap on his leg which sent the younger to jump a little. "Heechul hyung.", he acknowledged the other's presence, but Heechul didn't answer as he immediately caught Kyuhyun's bottom lip glittering under the light of the room. your lips huh. He was so tempted to ask Kyuhyun when he started to develop this crush. Instead he was left wondering if this was long time ago he was kicking himself because this was a card that he- they -he could have used sooner. It could have saved Heechul losing his temper many times (and the other members looking utterly idiot after Kyuhyun successfully managed to beat them with his cunning mind -not as cunning as Heechul's- and Kyuhyun's Ego expanding after each victory).

"What do you want?", the younger asked with the politeness of a pig, "Hey,do you want something?

Heechul narrowed dangerously,but cooled down. It's not the time to snap. He had a better plan than that, "Yes.", he replied shortly. He waved to where Kyuhyun's feet were, somehow an order to budge so that he could sit down.

Kyuhyun denied him. Heechul considered smacking the other's face, blood boiling. He tucked his hands on the back pockets of his jeans and looked down at the disrespectful guy, dark and mentally counting one to hundred, "I'm hungry,brat."

Kyuhyun's forehead creased in a small frown, "And so? It has nothing to do with me.", he extended his arm down to the floor to pick up the remote-control. If it wasn't that Kyuhyun was being an to him, Heechul would have found amusing how he could get rude to his hyungs. He couldn't help comparing their maknae to other groups'. Or his younger friends to Kyuhyun, "I suggest you make a sandwich.", he said, finger pressing on the button to switch the television over.

Punchable kid.

"Don't you have anything better to do than being an owl,hyung?"

Really punchable. "Make hyung a sandwich."

He saw Kyuhyun's finger stop going up and down and Heechul grimaced when the scream of an actress reached his ears. Kyuhyun looked as if he was holding back from saying something.

He blinked.

Then all of a sudden he was laughing.

Heechul snorted, giving the younger an outraged look.

"Cho brat Kyuhyun", he warned, but Kyuhyun couldn't hear him over how loud he was, "I'll kill you, you punk!", he yelled at the end,his cheeks heating a little and he knew that he shouldn't lose his temper because he had to keep himself calm,but he couldn't. In Heechul's vocabulary, Kyuhyun was a synonymous of fight and stupid. And punchable. 

"W-What..", Kyuhyun was his chest in circle motions trying to stop himself. He ran a hand on his face and wiped the tears of joy that had formed on the corners of his eyes. He was wearing a huge smile when he managed to say, "What was that?"

"That,what?", Heechul hissed as if not understanding the question, his arms folding on his chest securely.

Kyuhyun snorted rather audibly, "Did you hit your head before coming here?", sixty-seven,sixty-eight, "Look,I'm not anyone's maid. You have feet to walk and hands to take a slice of bread."

"Taemin makes sandwiches for his hyungs."

Kyuhyun looked at him from under his eyelashes and Heechul's hands were itching. That kind of itch that will go away only if your palm or your knuckles meet the cheek or the jawline of the one who's annoying you, "Is Taemin here?"

Heechul squinted.

"Exactly", Kyuhyun shrugged his shoulders, "That means either you make it on your own or you're hungry until Ryeowook hyung comes back home."

He wiggled his eyebrows at the older.

"The others would make me a sandwich."

"Probably", Kyuhyun deadpanned, "But I'm not others. I'm Kyuhyun and I'm not making you anything. Now, if you excuse me I'll be happy to get back enjoying my free time. Happy hungry hours,hyung."

Heechul looked at him indignant,"Motherer."

It made the brunet guy smile in that evil creepy way that only he could carry out. He should get a picture of Kyuhyun right now. Fans would quit saying that their smiles were similar if they took a look at Kyuhyun's.

"You really like picking fights, ?"

"Are we still talking about you trying to command me?"

"Answer the question, idiot."

"I don't", the younger said, "It's you guys being very sensitive and take everything I say as an insult", he sighed dramatically,"It's not me. You start it... I simply happen to be smart and I end our talks."

"But you do love that.", Heechul stated.

Kyuhyun closed his eyes,simpering, "It's such a turn on,hyung.", he cracked one eye open.

"Brat."

The other was back having both his eyelids closed.

"You motherer, freak, son of a-"

"Am I getting you mad,hyung?", Kyuhyun was tapping his index on his chin.

"Mothe-"

"Repetitive, are we?"

" off, jerk-"

"Donghae, stop pushing me--!"

"You're so slow, Hyukkie!"

"Dong--"

A Hyukjae broke into the living room with a Donghae behind that was pushing the black-haired. They were bickering, Hyukjae wasn't masking his non-willingness to Donghae, he was very annoyed. Donghae, on the other hand, was ignoring all the whines of his best friend and Heechul thought that he really did a nice choice back then when he was thinking of letting Donghae get close to him. The guy seemed to be qualified as Heechul's sidekick. He had the looks and he wore this kind curve on his face while he was probably thinking of unkind tricks. 

When Donghae shot him the same grin, Heechul didn't hesitate to respond at it with one of his smirks. Finally Hyukjae was here.

"Let go of me!", the dancer pried himself from Donghae's hands even before the other could do it himself. Though, Donghae grabbed a hold of Hyukjae's sleeve and tugged it, again, not minding Hyukjae's glare.

"When you lock yourself in your room is for watching ,Hyukkie!", Donghae defended his action.

Even if the whole world was aware of Hyukjae's little hobby and Heechul thought that there was no point in denying it, Hyukjae became beet-red and,dipping his head, he protested lamely, "N-Not true.", but if Heechul thought about it, confirming something like that to your members or to anyone, would be pretty shameful and awkward, "I wanted to take a nap,Donghae, and then you forced me to come here!"

"Actually, I told him to", Heechul meddled in. Hyukjae raised and his mouth shaped a little 'o', "Thought we could spend some time together."

Hyukjae nodded,now looking shy as he scratched the tip of his nose.

He felt the need to say something "very Heechul", "You're free to go back in your room, and then come back. We'll wait."

The tip of Hyukjae's ears were red as the rest of his face, "It was a nap.", he clarified,jaw going rigid and even Heechul sometimes felt pity for his dongsaengs. He didn't make any more comments and Hyukjae took that opportunity to slip from Heechul's and Donghae's mock on him and walked slowly to the couch's direction where a Kyuhyun was watching the entire scene.

The three of them saw Hyukjae pointing at Kyuhyun's feet, "Get them off", he said--

--and a second later he was sitting next to the youngest who was sitting as well.

(When was it that Kyuhyun developed a crush on Hyukjae? God. Knowing this is so precious.)

"So what are we going to watch?"

Donghae beamed, "I think w-"

"You're not going to pick up the movie,hyung", Kyuhyun said and Donghae, sitting on the floor (because there was no space, Kyuhyun refused to leave him his spot and there was no way Heechul would sit on the floor when there's a couch), turned and gave him one of his childlike pouts, "The films that you like are stupid."

Donghae looked a sort of offended, " 'Cause green monster,robots,zombies and aliens are better!", he said sarcastically.

Kyuhyun was pinching the bridge of his nose in a sort of 'headache-is-coming' manner, "Stupid", he repeated slowly, "The Avengers is gold,pure gold. Don't talk about it,its character and Iron Man is not a robot for 's sake!", Donghae just scoffed, "You're so stupid that you don't even understand something as easy as that.... We need to re-watch The Avengers."

"I don't want to! You're always the one to choose!"

"And that's it."

"No, it's my turn!"

"It will never be."

"I hate you!"

"Like I care.",that hurt Donghae and most of times it meant that he was probably going to cry. Heechul clicked his tongue. So maybe Donghae wasn't a perfect sidekick. And this was one of Donghae's flaws. But why would he cry when Heechul had a plan of attack? Right. Donghae tended to forget things easily. Another point from Donghae.

"Kyuhyun", Heechul called and said guy rotated his head to look at him,waiting for whatever he was going to say. Hyukjae did as well, "What about you make that sandwich I was asking you before watching the movie?"

"I want a sandwich too!", Donghae chirped.

"Then..", Kyuhyun began, "then since you want it too hyung, you go."

"Not happening", Heechul shook his head, "I asked it to you."

"It doesn't really matter who as long as you fill your stomach with something,right?", Kyuhyun countered, "What makes you think that I'm going to say yes when I told you no the first time? Really,hyung?"

Heechul didn't even bother receiving a harsh answer. He quickly searched for Hyukjae's eyes and mustering a honied-tone, "Make hyung a sandwich, Hyukjae", his peripheral vision caught Kyuhyun glower at him in what seemed hate and anger combined together. This was what he was aiming for, "Peanut spread,okay?", he patted the dancer's shoulder. The latter mumbled something like unfair,but he got up nonetheless.

"That only?", Hyukjae asked with a sigh.

"I want a Coke, Hyukkie!", Donghae said, "And pop-corn...there's one left. And I do not like peanut spread, can you look if there's chocolate spread or va-"

"Fine!"

Heechul tasted how revenge was delicious.

"You are going to eat peanut spread,Donghae hyung!", Kyuhyun screamt,frustrated. He sprinted away,leaving a pouting Donghae, a pleased Heechul and a blinking oblivious Hyukjae behind.

"He is the key..."

Hyukjae sent them a small look.

Heechul continued to whisper in Donghae's ear, "..as we'd verified, Kyuhyun's concerned about Hyukjae. To win against him, you need Hyukjae."

"Okay", Donghae mumbled, "But why?"

Heechul was taken aback. He frowned, "What do you mean why?"

"I don't get it..", Donghae admitted shyly, "Why is it Hyukkie?"

Heechul was considering Hongki to become his best sidekick, "Because Kyuhyun likes Hyukjae."

"I like Hyukjae too."

Too dense. "Not in that sense."

Donghae was confused, "Which sense?"

"He likes Hyukjae as in he looks at his and I guess he wants to make love with him."

"...what?"

Heechul wailed, "."

Silence.

"...............Ew"

When they went to sitting properly, Hyukjae went on giving them small looks. He was a little suspicious. Heechul acted like what he revealed to Donghae wasn't a big deal. Just one little secret between him and Donghae. The problem was that Donghae seemed to be shocked and he wasn't a help, so when Hyukjae stood up to look for a movie, Heechul flicked him on the nape.

"What is that?"

Donghae took a bite on his sandwich. "Where's my Coke?"

Kyuhyun proceeded in handing Heechul his plate and then he was in front of Donghae who was getting back on his bread, "Why do you have The Lion King next to you?"

"Because Heechul hyung and Hyukkie didn't choose anything in the end. And I really want Simba."

"You'll end up crying for Mufasa because of Scar. You'll look awful, you'll make me vomit. Let's watch the Avengers."

"I'm not awful!"

Heechul was not eating. Overcoming the brat satisfied him enough. He offered it to Hyukjae who thanked him. He stayed listening to the two youngest guys in the room arguing and it didn't matter what he had taught Donghae, Donghae didn't have it in his mind anymore. He was already losing. Just thank that you're my favorite dongsaeng. Next thing, Heechul was reaching for Hyukjae's arm. He started feeling Hyukjae's biceps (Hyukjae looked like he didn't mind) which weren't that big -definitely not like Siwon's or Donghae's -but Hyukjae was doing a great job in gym. As the good hyung that he was, he had to praise Hyukjae for all his effort, "Hi,muscle-boy"

Hyukjae showed him his gums.

"You work a lot on your body lately,mm?", Heechul wasn't keeping his voice low. He was intended to make his words reach a certain person's ears. "Feel these! You're becoming really attractive.", he could feel an intense gaze settle on them, "Do you have a six-pack?"

"Uhm", Hyukjae mumbled.

"Do you?", Heechul said cheerfully. He glanced for the briefest moment to Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun was anticipating for Hyukjae. He couldn't miss this occasion, "Let me see!"

The black-haired smiled,prettily, and then he put the sandwich on the couch and rolled up the end of his t-shirt until his chest. For three seconds flat. The t-shirt was covering his body again. Heechul's brows shot up, not bad.

"Wow, Hyukkie!", Donghae was enthusiastic, "You are so defined now!"

"Yeah, Hyukjae", Heechul agreed, "A couple of more hours work and you can be our vanilla abs."

"Thanks", Hyukjae said, proud of himself, "I think I can't exceed Siwon's though", he chuckled half-heartedly. He nodded to the television, "So, the Avengers or The Lion King?"

"The Lion King!", Donghae said hysterically.

Heechul shrugged, "Okay for me. Hyukjae?"

"Yes."

Before saying the last name, Heechul waited on purpose so that they were all looking at Kyuhyun. Look like he's ing in his mind. "Kyuhyun?.... Hey, brat?"

"I...uh.", Kyuhyun's mouth was hanging open. "........w-whatever you guys said."

(Fun. So funny.)