I hate the fact that Kai is more handsome, more intelligent, more talented, more athletic, more favored by the teachers, more respected and loved than me.. 

Just those thoughts..  Hurts me so much..

I wanted punch him, but I can’t. Ugh, because He’s my ing BEST FRIEND.

So I just freaking control my temper and be nice to him. BUT I JUST CAN'T DO IT!!

Oh..  By the way,This is DO KYUNGSOO. 

I love the way he smiles.. Even though his smiles it’s not for me.

I love the way he talks. Even though he always shouts at me.

I love his heavenly voice when he’s singing; I love his BIG eyes and his soft lips.

But why do I feel that he’s always mad at me? It really hurts when he shouts at me.

Why?

BECAUSE I LOVE HIM.

I can't show it,Because it might ruin our relationship or worse..

I love him more than myself.

He doesn’t know that I’m a gay. SHHHHH.. This is KIM JONGIN.