“Are you sure it’s all right? Jimin will be here in after her classes end, but...”

“But you don’t want to leave Marina alone,” Soohyun finishes for Sarah, glancing inside Marina’s room the next day. “It’s fine. I have a few hours before we have to start preparing for the show.”

“Thank you,” Sarah says with a tired smile.

“Go. I won’t leave her.”

“I’ll try to be back soon.”

    Soohyun watches her walk down the hall before entering the room. This time he’d come prepared. He sets the small vase with its delicate sweet-peas and blooming roses beside the flowers from yesterday and takes the seat next to the bed. With her features washed with sunlight and sleep erasing all cares from her face, Soohyun restrains himself from even touching her, reluctant to disturb the peace Marina sorely needs.

His self-control proves unnecessary when she stirs a few minutes later and turns her face towards him, murmuring, “Soohyun?”

“I’m here,” he answers, finally taking her hand. “How’d you know it was me?”

Marina smiles sleepily, keeping her eyes shut. “Your smell.”

“My smell? I’m sorry; I did shower after we performed, I promise.”

“You don’t smell bad,” she says. “You just smell like...you.”

“Like me?”

Nodding, Marina pushes herself up and wraps her arms around him to nuzzle her face into his chest. “Like warmth and soap and...something I can’t describe as anything other than ‘Soohyun.’”

He chuckles and hugs her back, resting his head on hers. “I guess that’s a good thing.”

“It is. I...”

“What?”


“Nothing. How’re the guys doing?”

“They’re tired since we’ve basically been going non-stop, but they’re happy and doing well otherwise.They’re still worried about you though and told me to tell you they’d come to visit you soon.”

“Since when are you all not working hard?” she points out, pulling away to lean back against the pillows, keeping her hand on his arm. “Tell them to remember to rest and not to worry too much. Hopefully I’ll be out of here within the next few days.”

Cautiously, Soohyun asks, “Have....have the results come back yet?”

“Not yet, but I can’t stay here much longer anyway.”

“Why?”

Marina hesitates before shrugging. “I feel like I’m going crazy just lying on this bed and I’m not much use here, am I? Sarah and Rose need me.”

“Marina, you’re-”

“I know,” she says, cutting him off. “I don’t want to talk about it. Please.”

“All right,” he sighs.

“I don’t even know how you’re able to come at all, but I’m glad you’re here,” she tells him with a small smile.

“Persuasion. I know I can come for a little bit again tomorrow, but don’t think I’ll be able to come the day after. I tried to find some time, but everything’s back to back,” Soohyun apologizes, frowning as he remembers how he’d failed to find any wriggle room in their schedule.

Marina’s face falls a little. “So you won’t be able to....”

“Won’t be able to what?”

“Come to the funeral,” she finishes quietly, bowing her head.

“It’s the day after tomorrow?” he asks, cursing his luck. When Marina would need him most, he wouldn’t be there.

As if reading his mind, she swiftly tells him, “Please don’t be upset with yourself. It’s out of your control. You’ve probably taken off too much time already.”

“But I should be with you,” Soohyun says frustratedly. “You shouldn’t be alone.”

“I’ll be fine. Mom and Jimin and Jacob will be there for me. Is that where she went?  To get him? She’d have said something if she was still here.”

“Yes. She left a while ago.”

Marina nods.

He watches as emotion flickers through her face as she tries in vain to hide whatever it is. Softly, he says, “Marina.”

“Yes?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Soohyun takes her hands and the back of them reassuringly with his thumbs. “Marina, you don’t always have to be the strong one. That’s what I’m here for. You don’t have to only smile and pretend everything’s normal. I don’t expect that. If you need to be sad or cry, do it. Lean on me.”

“But-....” Her lips quiver slightly as she takes another deep breath and looks away from him. “Soohyun, I- I’m scared.”

Those three words, whispered as they were, still shake Soohyun.

“I don’t want the tests to come back. If the tests found something, I’ll know for sure if I’ll see again. If they didn’t,...I don’t know what will happen. What if it’s something I can fix but I can’t? Then it’ll be my fault, my fault that I’m blind.” Marina’s fingers tighten on his. “Even more than that, there’s Dad. It doesn’t seem real that he’s gone, but when Mom told me the wake’s tomorrow and the funeral...I can’t imagine a world without my Dad, Soohyun. He-...he...”

Her words fall apart as tears come to her eyes and spill down her cheeks, a crack deepening and widening in her fragile strength.

“It’s all right.” Soohyun, his heart aching with hers, stands up to move closer and cup her face. “He’s gone, yes, but our loved ones never really leave us. Their always watching over us. We’re allowed to mourn them, miss them, or cry when we can’t talk to them. It’s part of the healing process and one that sometimes is never truly over. It may take awhile, but in the end, we have to remember to live too, as they would’ve wanted us to. We live to make them proud. It’s a hard road, but whatever happens, I’ll be right here for you, walking beside you. I promise.”

    Her tears increase as her arms go around his neck so she can hide her face in his chest again. When the inconveniently placed arm-rail prevents him from getting closer, he pushes it down and Marina moves over to let him lie beside her. Wrapping her securely in his arms, Soohyun begins singing softly in her ear, not caring as the shoulder of his shirt becomes damp from her tears. Gradually, her body loses some of its tension. Glancing down, he sees she’s fallen asleep, but he doesn’t move. Instead, Soohyun adjusts his hold and buries his face in her hair.

    He wrinkles his nose. It doesn’t smell like his Marina. His Marina’s hair smells like sweet pomegranate and the sun, but now it has the medical smell of cheap hospital shampoo. That and the rough surface of her cast rubbing against his jeans make how close he was to losing her hit Soohyun full force again. Unconsciously, his arms bring her closer. Looking down at her sleeping face, he closes his eyes and lets himself feel every part of her, partially to reassure himself and to let gratitude that she was in fact still by his side flood him.

“Oppa.”

Soohyun moans, pushing his face further into the pillow. “Five more minutes.”

“...All right.”

He smiles and cuddles the warmth closer to him, falling back to sleep.

A few minutes or hours later, someone quietly hisses, “Stupid!”

Soohyun frowns, trying to place the voice.

“Did Mom leave the towel somewhere around here?”

    He feels the bed shift as weight moves and as he slowly wakes up, he realizes his arms are empty. This makes him jolt up, eyes springing open. He relaxes a little when he sees Marina’s still beside him, her back to him.

“Oppa?” she whispers questioningly, turning and reaching out her hand. “You awake?”

“I am,” Soohyun answers, taking her wandering fingers. “What happened?”

“I was trying to pour myself some water,” Marina sighs, her other hand still searching for something. “Only I completely missed the cup and got water all over.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it.” He pushes himself off the bed, grabbing some paper towels from the dispenser and rounds the bed. Beginning to wipe the water from the floor and bedside table, he says, “I could’ve gotten it for you.”

She bites her lip. “I was going to...but you were sleeping.”

“I’m sorry; I thought I was still dreaming,” he admits sheepishly, scolding himself for not having listened when she’d tried to wake him. “Next time, just yell at me.”

“Soohyun.”

“Yes?” He looks up to find her looking at the floor with a dry smile.

“Stop scolding yourself. You’re a deep sleeper and you probably haven’t been getting much sleep as it is.”

"...It's sometimes scary how well you know me. Seriously," Soohyun tells her, throwing away the wet towels. “Don't worry about me though. I nap in the van between schedules. If you need anything just tell me. I’m not that important right now.”

As he comes back to the bed and picks up the now empty pitcher, he hears her murmur, “But you are.”

An invisible hand squeezes his heart and stops up his throat.  “M- Marina, I’m going to get some more water for you, but I’ll be right back, okay?”

She hesitates, her hands twisting in her lap before she forces them still. “All right.”

Tenderly, Soohyun reaches out a hand and caresses her cheek, laying a soft kiss on her forehead. “Be right back,” he says again.

She nods, briefly placing her hand over his to cradle it against her face before letting it fall and leaning back against the pillow.

With a final glance, he leaves the room and closes the door only to lean against the wall just outside. His breaths shake and he drops his head into his hands as empathetic pain for Marina and frustration at his own shortcomings threaten to overcome his mind.

“Soohyun? What’s wrong?”

He raises his head, quickly composing his face as Sarah walks towards him. “Nothing; everything’s fine. I fell asleep so I’m still a little fuzzy. Marina’s thirsty so I’m going to get her some more water.”

Relief washes over Sarah’s face as she sighs. “Good.”

“Is this him?” someone asks in English.

Soohyun looks behind her, finally noticing the newcomer who’s giving him a look over. Tall and serious-looking, he has pale skin like Sarah and stylishly cut dirty blond hair.

“Yes. Soohyun, this is my son, Jacob,” Sarah introduces him in Korean. Switching back to English, she says, “Jacob, this is Marina’s boyfriend, Shin Soohyun.”

“Good to meet you,” Soohyun says, offering his hand and a smile.

Jacob nods and takes Soohyun’s hand, giving it a firm shake. “Thank you for helping my family.”

He nods in acknowledgement. Looking back to Sarah, he says, “Marina’s awake now. I’ll just go get the water for her.”

“Thank you, Soohyun,” she smiles. “Jacob, you go ahead inside. Be sure to tell her you’re in the room so you don’t frighten her.”

“I will,” Jacob replies, giving Soohyun one more look before going to the door and walking in.

Sarah’s smile grows muted after her son disappears. Turning to Soohyun, she asks, “Will you be able to come to the funeral the day after tomorrow? It’s all right if you can’t.”

“I’m sorry,” he replies, hanging his head. “I think I can come to the wake, but I don’t think they’ll let me take off anymore time. I’ll try.”

Sarah’s hand on his arm makes him look up. “You’ve already been done more than enough. We don’t want you to get into any trouble because of us.”

“It’s not trouble,” Soohyun immediately tells her.

She just smiles softly and lets her hand fall. “You’re really being a rock for us, you know that? Thank you. See you in a minute.”

    He sighs after she opens the door, letting out a slip of Marina and Jacob’s voices before it closes. The problem with helping good people when they’re in need is that they always feel they’re inconveniencing everyone. He remembered how his mother had done the same thing when his father had died, when he’d been too young and too scared to help her. Soohyun was scared again, but this time, he’d do everything to help take care of his loved one.
 

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*Peeks out from the corner* Annyoung! *giggles guiltily* I'm really sorry this update took so long. It's getting hard for me to write this story, because whenever I do, I start thinking about my own dad and how much I miss him even though I skype with my family every week. Don't worry though, I'm not abandoning it and I'll follow this story to its rightful ending. Thank you for putting up with this pabo author. Saranghae.