When did my life take such a boring turn? When did my Saturdays become days where I sat in my house with nothing to do? Days where I’d slip on the first pair of sweats I could find and eat whatever I had in my kitchen. It wasn’t always like this, I use to go out every weekend with my girlfriend. We use to be known as regulars at different clubs and don’t get me wrong, I liked her and I loved spending time with her, but there is such a thing of too close. The way I looked at it was its okay to be close but you have to know your limits and Hwang Minyoung, I’m afraid didn’t know ours’.

One night I got a text, well more specifically I got the text saying “we need to talk.” I’m no fool, I knew what she meant so I told her to come over. I fix the place up before she came because I’m not someone who can sit still and just wait. After everything was in its right place I paced my living room, and when I got tired of that I stopped and bounced from one foot to the other.

Just as I was about walk into my kitchen I heard a few knocks coming from my door. Taking a deep breath, I made my way over to let her in. As I open the door I put a big smile on and said “Babe, I’m glad you made it here okay.” I moved in to hug her but realized that she made no effort to return it. I pulled back to look her in the eyes to see her stare coldly back. We stayed like that for a few moments until I sighed and let her in. So, it was going to be one of those nights.

She brushed past me and head straight for my living room. I watched her for a little bit before I sighed again and followed her. I trailed behind her at a distance not really wanting to start this conversation now, I’ve already had a bad enough day as it was. I rubbed my eyes as I enter the room, looking up I found that Minyoung’s eyes following my movements like some sort of predator. I looked her in the eyes hoping that she could understand that I was just too drained for this at the moment.

But I guess my message was lost or ignored because when I walked around the couch she sat up straighter and motioned for me to sit down. I really hated it when she did that, acting like I had to do what she says but I pushed down the impulse to snap. I knew that I was just being cranky because of my bad day and I also knew that taking it out on her would only lead to a crying Minyoung and I didn’t want to feel worse than I already did.

Sitting down on the couch opposite of her and gave her a small smile, hoping that the nervousness was just a product of my overly active imagination but no such luck. My name ghosted off her lips as she leaned forward, and my natural reaction was to lean forward as well and take her hands in mine.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as she tightened her hold on my hands and brought them closer to her.

“I just feel like you’re so far away now.” She told me with tears in her eyes and I had to hold back my urge to scoff at that. Like we didn’t spend every minute of our free time together already, but I tried to reply kindly.

“I don’t know what you mean, I try to do everything for you.” I truly did feel at a lost for this, I spent so much time with her I’ve cut myself off from my friends. What more did she want? For me to excel myself from my own family?!

“But you don’t seem to want to do it!” She suddenly cried at me causing be to pull back in shock.

“Minyoung…” I started but didn’t know how to continue. “I-you…. You’re just over reacting.”

“Am I?” she demanded. “Why do I feel like you’re not even trying to reach me on an emotional level?”

I looked away from her and sighed, when did things get so demanding? Why can’t I turn back time to the good old days? I miss the girl I first fell for, the one who would smile at me just because I walked through the door. It’s not like I’m not trying, just… I don’t know, maybe I just need some space.

Then I felt her hand on my chin turning me so that I had to look her in the eyes. We stayed like that for a while until she asked me a question that I wasn’t so sure of anymore.

“Do you love me?”

I stared at her as I thought, did I still love her?  Was what I had originally felt for her anywhere close to being considered love? But as I looked into her eyes and saw the longer I made her wait for an answer the more tears welled in her bright eyes. I knew what I had to say, even if didn’t mean it whole heartily I just couldn’t hurt her like this now.

“Yes.”

She watched my expressions for a few more moments trying to gauge my honesty, then pulled back slightly and smiled.

“Then marry me.” My mouth dropped open as soon as that left .

Marriage, she can’t be serious. I mean no more than a few moments ago was she accusing me of not being invested enough in this relationship, does she really think getting married is going to help that? And not only that but good lord, I’m only twenty three! In my mind that isn’t anywhere close to marriageable age. I had to find a way out of this and quick.

“Ahhhh, Minyoung… I don’t really think that’s a good idea.” I said, scratching the back of my neck as I did.

“Why not? You said yourself that you loved me! We’re not kids anymore Jonghyun, you have to settle down soon so why not now?!” she shot at me fierily.

I clasped my hands and looked down at them. I was at a loss for words. Why? Well because I’m not ready to sell my soul away.  I want to experience life, not throw it away once I’ve just started living and start to actually take part in the world.

“Minyoung…. I think you should go.”

So now here I am, in my apartment with one of my good friends, Onew, and my only plans for tonight are to sit in front of my TV and eat popcorn. Sadly enough that didn’t seem to be Onew’s plans.

“So you guys must’ve had a nasty fight or something like that, right?” He must have asked for the tenth time tonight.

“Ahhh, can’t you just give it up?” I groaned as I laid back farther into the couch.

“What, am I not allowed to be there for my best friend?” he asked me with a hint of fake hurt lacing his words.

I threw some popcorn at him and told him, “Best friends don’t wait three weeks after the fact.”

“Haha, I’m sorry.” He said not sounding too apologetic. “I’m not good with this whole comforting thing, so I figured I’d give you a few weeks to get over your depression before I swept in and took all the credit.”

I glared at him in response and exhaled. “I wasn’t ‘depressed’ thank you very much.”

“So three weeks of moping around is normal behavior?” he asked me with a raised eyebrow and I sighed.

I really wasn’t depressed, I like to think of it as reflecting on my actions. I was trying to figure out exactly when I started to become distant from Minyoung and what caused it. Maybe it was all just too much for me, always being together and even when we weren’t we still were in contact in some way. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being with her but at some point it had become tiring. I tried to figure out when I really started to think that way and if I was completely honest with myself I knew, but I was very good at lying, even to myself.

I looked back at Onew and cracked a small sad smile. “I think moping around after a break up is perfectly normal behavior. Not all of us are as heartless as you.”

He sighed and told me, “You could do with being a little more heartless, you always beat yourself up when things don’t work out.”

I digested his words and let my head hit the back of the couch. I really do hate things ending, even if they are for the best.

I’m really hopeless.

“So how did it happen?” He hesitantly asked. I closed my eyes and answered him without looking at him.

“She wanted to get married.”

It was quiet for a few moments before he said anything.

“Please tell me you didn’t break up with her after she said that.”

With that I jumped up. “Of course not! I mean I told her that she should leave but that’s after we talked about it some. Well not so much that night but after I got over the shock of her asking such a thing and gathered my thoughts I talked with her. I explained why I didn’t think it was a good idea and how I didn’t think I was ready for such a commitment.” At this point I had stood up and started pacing the space between the couches and the TV. “I mean in all honesty I think she was just desperate, she came here complaining that I wasn’t close enough to her emotionally, how is marriage going to fix that? Huh? It was like she was trying to stake a claim on me, like she thought I wasn’t fateful enough. The nerve!”

Onew was quiet through my rant up until this point. “Maybe she was scared that you were starting to look at someone else.”

Flashes went through my head but I forced them out. No, I would never have done that to her.

 “You know girls can tell when you start to give someone else the attention they once had.” He told me as he watched me continue my pacing but at that I spun on my heel and faced him.

“I’m not a cheater.” I defended myself.

He sighed and looked me in the eyes. “I know you’re not, but I’m just saying that she probably could tell things were different. She probably felt like you would leave her for this unknown person.” I fell on the couch next to him and covered my face with my hands as he continued. “Women are very sensitive to these kinds of things.”

It was quiet for a while until I spoke up. “I think something is wrong with me.” We both could hear the double meaning to my words and he just chuckled and patted my shoulder.

“There’s no such thing as ‘wrong love’ so just let yourself feel.” I cracked my eye open to look at him and he smiled in his Onew-ish way, making my heart feel a little lighter.

“Really, even if it goes against everything we learned growing up?”

He put his hand on his chin and looked towards the ceiling deep in thought. “Well, you couldn’t really call it love if it was easy right?”

We sat there and let the words skin in until I realized something.

“I never said it was love.” I mumbled as a light dusking of pink made its home on my cheeks.

“Of course, of course. Not love, just extreme attraction.” He said grinning at me.

With that I dumped the whole popcorn bowl on his head. “Shut up, you ! I’m still mourning my failed relationship!” after he was covered in popcorn I processed to hit him in the head with bowl until he was begging for mercy. Satisfied with how things worked out, I sat back down in my seat with a smug smile and continued to watch the movie that has been long forgotten. We watched it for a few minutes before we heard my doorbell ring.

“You’re expecting someone else?” he asked looking at the door down the hallway. “Do you want me to stay in case its Minyoung?”

 It was my turn to laugh at him as he said that. Like I couldn’t handle my ex, the tiny thing she was I’m sure, if need be, I could just pick her up and place on the other side of the door and close it. There, done deal but I knew for sure it wasn’t her. She had made it very clear that if I had decided to break up with her that night then that would be the end of us for good, no crawling back. Not like I would be the one doing the crawling, I’m a man, and men do not “crawl.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure she’s not going to try and kill me just because we broke up. We’re adults and we’ll handle this like some. Besides, I’m sure it’s just Taemin coming to get his movie.” I told him.

I was about to walk away when his unsure voice stopped me. “Are you sure? I mean she did seem pretty aggressive. That sounds like something she’d try.” I turned back to him to see him looking like, if situation called for it, he would be ready to jump out the window of the fire escape and leave me to fend for myself.

What a true friend.

 I grabbed a pillow from the couch and shoved it in his face. “You can stop planning your escape, it’s just Taemin coming to get his movies. Jeez, no need to get all nervous.”

After he got a hold of the pillow and threw it away from him he smirked at me. “Oh you mean Taemin’s videos of Kibum?”  I almost choked when I heard that.

“What?! No!” my voice cracked at the ending and he just chuckled. “Shut up!” I shouted before storming off to get the door, no doubt with my face painted red and only getting redder as Onew’s laughs got louder.

I yanked open the door as I yelled at Onew to shut up again only to be met with the object of my embarrassment. In my open door looking shocked stood Kibum, looking as fashionable as ever. He was wearing an off-white sleeve-less jacket that had the belt running around the bottom edge undone, along with the zipper as it was warm out. He also wore a gradated grey shirt that had a deep hood in the back that was up, covering his wavy dyed blonde hair, that he had he pushed it back as I opened the door.  Now he was staring at me weirdly with his warm brown eyes that were obstructed by thick rimmed glasses that only helped to set off his eyes even more.

And here I stood in sweats, there are no words for how embarrassed I felt at this moment. The only thing going through my head not Kibum related was that I was glad I had decided not to be completely lazy and took a shower today.

I knew I was making him uncomfortable by staring but I couldn’t seem to stop. I watched as he reached up with his hand that was adorned with different kinds of bracelets to brush his wavy blond hair out of his eyes before shoot me a grin that did funny things to my heart.

“Ahhh, Taemin asked me to come and get something.” He said as he rested his hand on his hip.   

I regained a bit of my composure and responded. “Yes, ah the movies. Let me just go and get them now.” I turned around to run but was met with Onew’s chest. I grabbed his arms to steady myself and then glared up at him. Too bad it was missed on his part, he was too busy staring at his phone texting god knows who. But after reading something on it, he said without looking up.

“Sorry Jonghyun, but looks like I’ll have to end movie night early.”

With my back to Kibum I glared at Onew trying to warn him not to go. I’ve only been alone with Kibum for a minute and I’ve already managed to make a complete fool of myself. Imagine what I could do with five. He finally looked up and when he saw the look on my face he smiled, trying to be encouraging but I couldn’t help but feel like a kid on their first day of school begging his parents to let him stay home.

I mouthed the words “Don’t you dare leave me.” But whether he got it or not I don’t know because he just lend forward and gave me a hug, and whispered into my ear.

 “You’ll be fine. Like I said, just let yourself feel.”

My heart dropped into my stomach, he’s really going to leave me, isn’t he? Does anyone know the meaning of a true friend anymore? What happened to the days of wingmen?

He then pasted by me and stopped by Kibum to ruffle his hair at which he glared at him while trying to fix it. Kibum and I both stood side by side as we watched Onew wave goodbye saying something along the lines of play nice as he walk out the door. We stood there a little while longer until I couldn’t stand the awkwardness that seem to have set in as soon I opened the door for Kibum, so I asked.

“Do you want something to drink or something?” I tried to think of something that I might have in my kitchen that he might like. “Tea? I have some of that if you want.”

He looked at me and cracked a small smile. “Tea?”

I scratched the back of my head and looked towards my kitchen not able to really look him in the eyes because the after effects of Onew’s teasing. “Well yeah, tea is healthy. What you don’t like tea? I’m sure I have something else then.”

His smile grew as he placed his wallet on the side table by the door. “No, tea is great. Hope you’re good at making it because I’m picky about my tea.” He said turning to me with a wink. I tried to stop the smile that threatened to break across my face, but I gave up.

“Well you should know, I happen to take pride in my tea making abilities so prepared to be wow’d.” I watched as a slow small spread across his face as he looked at me and felt something inside of me move. I reached up with my hand and placed it over my heart, just to make sure it was still inside my chest because at the moment I felt like Kibum could see it and that was unsettling.

“Oh I’m prepared.” He told me before heading off down the hall towards the kitchen.  The way he walked through my place made it seemed like he was so comfortable here. Not like he owned the place like Minyoung did, but kind of like he belonged here.

As soon as I thought that I shook my head and followed him into the kitchen. I walked in just in time to see him toss his keys on the counter as he walked by and plopped down in one of my spinning stools. Spinning around he stopped and rested his face in his hands and watched me as I made my way to get the tea bags. But there was a problem…the tea bags were on the shelf that happened to be just out of my reach.

Why the hell do I even have cabinets that high, I asked myself. I looked over my shoulder to see the step ladder that I normally use but then I looked over at Kibum to see him still watching me. I turned back to the cabinet and exhaled in a huff, there was no way I was dragging that out with him here.

So I stood on my tip toes and tried to stretch my fingers as far as they would go, I was within inches of the box, just a little farther. Just as my middle finger had reached the bottom corner of the box Kibum spoke up making me flinch which ended in me knocking the box just out of reach.

“Ummm, do you want me-” He started but I cut him off, growing painfully aware of our height difference.

“I got it.” I said while glaring at the offending box. Now this was war, I just know that box was doing it on purpose, trying to make me look bad but it wasn’t going to work. I’ll get that damn tea box if it’s the last thing I do. I reached for it again but this time I set my knee on the counter to give me an extra boost.

With the added height I was able to reach it but on the way back down and off the counter my hand ended up hitting the edge of my plastic bowls and cups, causing them all to fall down on top of me.

It was easy to say that this was probably the most embarrassing thing I have done in front of someone that I didn’t know well. I just stood there in silence after everything fell, I felt like just curling up in a tiny ball and dying but the silence didn’t last for long as Kibum’s quiet giggles floated around my kitchen and slowly filled the silence.

I looked down at the floor blushing and cover my face with my hands and started to shake with laughter too. This was probably the stupidest thing I could’ve done but Kibum’s laugh was just so contagious that I couldn’t help but join in.    

“Oh god, I’m such an idiot.” I said to him while still covering my face. I wondered where the cool Jonghyun that knew all the right things to say had gone. Kibum probably thinks I’m stupid now.

“You are.” He told me while jumping off the stool and walking over to me smiling. “But that’s fine, you seem more human now, it’s nice.”

I was shocked by what he said but was knocked out of it, quite literally, when he took the tea box from me and hit me on the head with it. I smiled as I looked him in the eyes, Kibum was a very handsome man not necessarily a manly type of handsome but his looks had me memorized. He’s had me captivated since I met him, he was just so different than any other person I had ever met before. 

I remember the first time I met him as clear as day. My friends Onew and Minho had texted me while Taemin called me and asked me to come and hang out knowing that my girlfriend was gone for the weekend. To be honest, I was excited that she was gone, not that I wanted to get rid of her it’s just that when she was home she always wanted to be together. Being together was fine and all, but I was seriously missing my friends. So by the time I ended the call with Taemin I was half into my best jeans and ripping the door open.

Warm air blew my hair back as I raced down the street. I was glad that the diner that we usually meet at was just down the block from my apartment, which made this a quick run. As I ran I couldn’t help the smile that broke out across my face, I really missed these guys. Just thinking that put an extra push in my steps and I ran as fast as I could.

By the time I busted through the door of the small diner I was out of breath. Panting, I spotted the kid I missed the most, he was talking to someone I couldn’t really see because of the way he was standing but I didn’t care. All I saw was that back of Taemin’s head with his short reddish-orange hair that was cut close to his head in the back but I could see that he kept trying to brush his longer bangs out of his face. He was just standing there with his back to me and hadn’t noticed me yet.

 Now what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t make him aware of my presence?

I quickly ran up behind him and had to jump because of the height difference between us but I had successfully managed to catch him in a head lock causing him to yell out. I laughed out at his weak attempts to get free because it didn’t matter how tall this kid got, I always was going to be stronger and I found joy in that thought.

“Just because I haven’t been around doesn’t mean you can be disrespectfully and drop the “Hyung” when talking to me on the phone kid.” I told him while tightening my hold on him, not enough to hurt him but just enough to show him who’s boss.

“Stop-no, let me go!” he half yelled while trying to spin out of my grip, which he failed at. “This has to be some form of child abuse! What are you, a pedo- owww! Okay, okay, I’m sorry!”

I paused for a bit then tightened my grip again, “I’m sorry?”          

“Hyung, dammit. HYUNG!!” he spat at me and I couldn’t help but laugh. I really did miss messing with this kid.

“Kibum, don’t just stand there! Help me!” he yelled at the man he was talking to before and I looked up to see slightly slanted eyes curved up into an eye smile and thin lips pressed into a line like he was trying not to smile.

“Nah huh, I can see those muscles through that shirt and there’s no way I’m putting myself in danger for you.”  The man I was guessing was Kibum told Taemin with a teasing smile as he turned to look off to the side towards where I saw Minho and Onew were talking. “Why not ask Minho? He looks like he could hold his own.”

I released Taemin and he shot me a glare and rubbed his neck while I scoffed, “Minho? Yeah right, he knows better than to mess with me.”  When Kibum turned back to regard me I smiled friendly hoping not to give the wrong impression. “I mean, have you seen me? I happen to be drop dead gorgeous.” I’m not conceded or anything, I just like to make other people laugh and I was hoping that he would find it funny.

Just as I started to get worried I heard him let a small chuckle as he covered his mouth with the back of his hand. “Yeah I have. It’s kind of hard to miss.” He said with a grin and just as I was about to reply with something witty Minho interrupted me by calling us over. Kibum smiled one last time at me then turned to walk over to Minho and Onew but just as I was about to follow Taemin grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

“Hey, I need to talk to you.” I was about to scold him for the rough treatment but I saw the seriousness in his eyes and decided to let it slide this once.

“Yeah, what’s up?” I asked as I turned around to face him fully leaving the rest of our friends at my back.

He shifted his weight from foot to foot looking anywhere but me then he sighed and looked towards our friends, “There’s something you should know about Kibum.”

“Kibum, the new guy? When did he start hanging out with you guys anyway?” I asked as I glanced back over at them to see he had his back facing us while talking to Onew.

“About a month ago but listen-” But I cut him off again.

“Really, a month?” I asked then looked back over my shoulder realizing for the first time how long it’s been since I went out with the guys and I was really starting to regret it. “He seems pretty interesting and I think he thought I was funny, we might real-” This time Taemin cut me off.

“And he’s gay.”

I turned back to him slowly and gave him a questioning look as if to tell him to stop messing with me, but he just shook his head.

“Are you for real?” I asked him and he just pinched the bridge of his nose in response. While he had his eyes closed I snuck another glance over my shoulder as if I looked hard enough I could see it and not just a very fashionably good looking guy talking with some friends. As I was watching him interact with my friends Taemin bought my attention back to him with his question.

“Why would I joke about that Jonghyun….Hyung?” He added as an afterthought and looked me in the eyes. “Anyway, I’m here to tell you to behave.”

I was taken aback by what he said. “Why wouldn’t I behave myself? I like girls, I have a girlfriend! It’s not like I’m going to throw myself at him.”

“That’s not what I’m saying Hyung.” He told me while shaking his head. “I’m just saying not to treat him any differently.” He then looked me in the eyes and I could see how sincere he was being. “He’s a respectable guy so don’t treat his preferences as a joke.”

When Taemin had pulled me aside that had been over a month ago and even though I hadn’t really spent time with Kibum by himself, we had hung out within the same group from time to time. It’s amazing what one could learn by just listening. In the few times I did spend in his presence I’ve realized that he tends to get judged wrongly, just because he’s confident and determined to get what he wants he gets called a “diva” or considered “y.”

I couldn’t help it, but hearing random people say these kinds of things made my blood boil. They didn’t know him, they had no right to assume things. I ignored the fact that I didn’t really know him either but at least I would try to make an effort, things like striking up conversations and asking his opinion on clothes because by just looking at him I tell that he was at least interested in fashion. I guess my efforts weren’t in vain since he happens to be walking around my kitchen, helping me pick up the dishes I knocked down because I was too stubborn to ask for help and wanted to look cool.

I watched him for a little as he stacked the plastic bowls then turned away and sighed. This is turning out horrible, I’m completely embarrassing myself and I feel like anything I tried now would just add on to the embarrassment. Turning my eyes back to the fallen dishes I noticed that just under the overhang of my counter there was something shiny, upon closer inspection realized that it was keys.  I was wondering what a pair of keys were doing down there until I remembered that Kibum had thrown his on the counter when he walked in and that they must have been knocked to the floor when everything fell.

Glancing back up at Kibum I see that he wasn’t looking this way and in a split second decision I slipped the keys into my pocket. I’m not going to keep them, just hold them hostage in exchange for a little more time. I need time to make up for how much of a fool I’m making of myself and I know for a fact that once I get comfortable things will go smother.

Kibum finished with his half of the kitchen floor, standing up he walked over to the cabinet and put them back. After he finished organizing them he turned back to me and leaned against the counter and smile.

“Well that was fun.” He said and I snorted. “No really, great practice for when I apply to become a housewife.” Finishing with a wide grin and I rolled my eyes.

“Like you’d settle for that.” I said as I stood up to walk up beside him and put my half of the dishes away.

He chuckled and pretended to think about it for a moment. “Hmmm, no you’re right. To hell with housekeeping, I’m going to snag me a man that will wait on me hand and foot.” I turned to face him and he turned slightly in my direction too so we stood only inches apart now.

A sight blush creped onto my cheeks but other than that I kept my composure. “You deserve that.” I honestly don’t know what I’m doing but seeing how he looked stumped for the first time I’ve ever seen him made it worth it. It was my own little victory and I was going to enjoy it, but how about a little bit more of a push?

I leaned closer to him and reached my hand across him to his left and rested it on the counter beside him, successfully trapping him for a moment while I smiled. This time he blushed and my smile grew, his reactions are really quite adorable.

“How about it now?” I asked him and he pulled back a bit in shock and frowned at me.

“How about what?” he asked in confusion and I laughed.

I reached back a little farther with my left hand grabbing the box and hummed. I looked him in the eyes and saw the uncertainty and it made me smile a little more but I felt like I had enough. “The tea, what else is there?”  I asked and pulled the box out and hit him on the head like what he had done to me a few minutes early.

I wish I could’ve taken a picture of the scold he gave me, he looked so disapproving that I just had to laugh. I turned my back on him and started to walk away towards my stove when I heard him mumble out a “bastard” after hearing that I couldn’t help but grin wider. Maybe I could turn this night around after all.

As I got the kettle ready to boil the water Kibum walked around to the other side of the counter and sat back down on the stool again. I tried to hide my smile by keeping my eyes trained to the kettle but that didn’t work because I heard Kibum huff out, clearly displeased.

“So, Kibum…” I started but he just turned his head to the side not wanting to talk but I continued anyway. Didn’t this guy know who I was, I am known for being able to hold up one-sided conversations. “Any interesting happening in life?  I heard you were renting out a studio, how’s that going? Hey what kind of art do you do exactly? I know you like fashion, do you design clothes? Or is it more of a traditional art style, y’know drawing, painting and whatnot. Or-” I was going to keep going until he cut me off.

“Are you a nervous talker, or do you always talk this much?” he asked still not looking at me.

I rubbed the back of my neck and grin sheepishly. “I guess I can ramble on at times.” at this he looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “But I’m just trying to get to know you better.”  It didn’t seem like he was going to answer and I was about to start another bout of questions until he sighed and turned to face me.

“Yes, I have a studio rented out and no, I don’t do much traditional art. I focus more on photography and I use the studio for shoots.” He quirked an eyebrow at me as if he was asking me if I had any more questions. And boy did I.

“Photography, huh?” I grinned. “What kind is your favorite? I don’t know much about the subject but I’m willing to learn.”

He gave me a soft smile before leaning forward on his elbows to get a better look at my face. “Portrait, I really like to take someone and shoot them in their natural style. And as to why I like fashion so much, I think clothing is a great way to show off one’s own unique personality, so they kind of go hand and hand for me.” he paused for a bit before adding, “It’s kind of weird, isn’t it?”

I smiled and laughed. “No, it really isn’t. I completely understand and I have to say that I’m not that surprised to hear you say that. It looks like something you would say.”

“Because I’m gay, right?” he asked sounding slightly bitter and I shook my head.

“No, because you seem like the type of person that tries to see someone for who they are on the inside and not who they try to sell.” At that he smiled and I looked down and shifted my weight from foot to foot. “Great, now I’m starting to sound like Onew.”

Hearing me say that Kibum laughed and leaned back on the stool. “That’s not a bad thing, makes you sound wise.”

I grinned and say with my usual confidence. “I’m always wise.”

Kibum busted out laughing leaning on the counter for support and I couldn’t help but join in. It was nice to be like this, after weeks of sitting around my apartment cutting myself from the world it was nice to have someone new to talk to. A person who didn’t know all of my crooks and nannies and would try and find new ways to get on my nerves, or someone wasn’t demanding more than I could give.  This was simple, and sometimes simple was just nice to have.

“So what about you? Anything new in life for you?” he asked while resting his cheek on his palm.

As the water finished boiling I poured it into the waiting cups and placed some tea bags in and tried to rack my brain for something to say because it’s just embarrassing to say that for the last few weeks I had become a vampire. Just when I started to grow desperate I remembered Minho had contacted me earlier this week.

“Well, Minho asked me if I wanted to go to a soccer game with him sometime next week.” I shrugged.

“Really? He invited me too but sports aren’t really my thing.” He paused and looked off to the side before asking, “So are you going?”

I thought about it for a few moments and realized what Onew had said is the truth, I need to get myself back in the world and enjoy it. Enough with this shutting myself off from the world, but this wasn’t just about me moping around, this started way before then. It started with Minyoung, but it’s not going to be like that from now on.

I was trying to decide whether or not I really wanted to go when I deemed the tea finished and handed Kibum his cup and told him, “Careful, it’s still hot.” But he just chuckled at me and shook his head. I then walked around the counter with my own cup in hand and sat in the stool next to him. Turning so that I was facing him face to face I finally answered him. “I’ll probably go, I like this kind of thing and he knows it. That’s probably why he asked in the first place.” I muzzled, “If I didn’t he’d most likely go on this unnecessarily long rant about how we use to play together in high school, and why couldn’t I just let him relive his glory days. He’s nothing but a big baby.” I finished shaking my head.

After taking a sip of his tea, Kibum shrugged and smiled. “They probably just miss you. I mean I don’t mean to be nosy but I’m surprised that your girlfriend would let you go, they always say that it’s her fault that you’re never around. Onew is the only civil one about it though, the other two can say pretty mean things. ”

Hearing this I smiled down at my tea. “They miss me that much, huh?”

He laughed and nudged my shoulder with his. “Trust me, they have so many stories about you and your “awesome-ness” as they would like to call it, that I feel like I already know you.”

I let out a nervous laugh while placing my head on the counter. “Oh that’s embarrassing.” Turning my head to the side so I could look at him I asked, “What do they say?”

He tapped his lips with his pointer finger in thought for a bit until his looked down at me with a smile. “Oh nothing bad, just… interesting.” Groaning, I turned my face back to facing the counter and closed my eyes.

So in other words, it’s horrible.

“So how are you going to sneak away from… what was her name?” He paused in thought. “Kimyang? Wait no, it was Min something, right?”

I laughed because I found his complete lack of care when it came to someone’s name he didn’t know amusing. “It’s Minyoung, and we broke up a few weeks ago.”

I turned my head to look at him again and saw that he had his hand covering his mouth and eyes wide in shock. “I am so sorry, I didn’t know. No one told me anything.”

I sat back up and waved his apology off. “It’s okay now, I wasn’t what she needed anyway.” But Kibum just rolled his eyes.

“You really are as nice as they said you were.” He said while avoiding eye contact with me and sipped his tea some more.

“I try not to hurt people but that’s all I ever seem to be doing.” I told him with a sigh.

As soon as that was out of my mouth he set his cup down and turned towards me and gave me a glare. It startled me for a moment because it looked like he was going to hit me.

“Are you stupid?” he demanded. “It’s not physically possible for someone to go through life and not hurt someone. The whole point is to find people who will be there for you even if you do cause them pain. I’m not saying that it’s fine to hurt them then but at least there will be an understanding.” Then he grabbed my shoulder and pulled me closer. “From what I see you’re a guy who loves to be around people and friends and her keeping you cooped up was probably driving you insane, so stop beating yourself up over something that was bound to end anyway.” He pulled me so close so that our faces were only inches apart and stared straight into my eyes.  “You got it!?” I tried nodding but because we’re so close I ended up hitting out foreheads together. We both pulled back at the same time groaning then he grabbed his head. “Owwww! Jeez, what is your head made of?”

“Steel.” I told him wincing while holding my head and stood up to throw the rest of my tea down my sink. I reached for his and he handed it off to me while rubbing his head and mumbling, “Sure feels like it.”

Smiling, I asked, “So any plans for tonight?”

“Yeah, I probably need to leave-” he stopped mid-sentence and looked at the clock on my microwave and sighed. “about five minutes ago. Ah man, Amber is going to kill me.”

“Well then, just let me go grab those movies.” I said while walking off.

I don’t know why I was surprised to hear that he hangs out with more people other than my friends. I just wrote it off as being surprised that he was hanging out with a girl, I mean he is gay, I thought as I walked into my room.  As soon as I thought that I shook my head, just because he was gay that doesn’t mean he’s sworn off contact with the whole female race, he’s bound to have friends. I mean look at him…

Thinking that, I puffed out a sigh and grabbed the movies and made my way back into the kitchen. When I walked through the doorway I saw Kibum glaring at his phone, he looked like he was about to strangle whoever was on the other end of that text.

“Amber getting angry?” I asked, laughing at the face he pulled.

“No, it’s just an annoying brat meddling in something he really shouldn’t be.” He said as he threw his phone away and I walked over and handed the movies to him. “Thanks, but I really have to be going now.” I nodded and glanced at the clock myself realizing how long he really had been here.

He started to gather up his stuff when he stopped and started to look around. Obliviously not finding what he was looking for he started patting down his pockets. After a few moments of frantic patting I decided to ask.

“Is something wrong?”

After reaching into his back pockets he threw his hands over his face and groaned. “I lost my keys.”  

Hearing that my stomach turned over and the little bit of tea I did drink settled wrong and I felt the need to run to the bathroom, but I kept a straight face.  “Did you?” I let my hand rest over my pocket that still had his keys in it and then pulled it back like it was on fire. I’m such an idiot for even thinking of taking them. I then rubbed my palm over my chest like it was burned and asked, “Do you want me help you look for them?”

He let his hands fall down and grinned at me. “That would be nice.”

So the next few minutes consisted of us looking in every square inch of my kitchen and the very heavy weight of guilt pulling me down to the floor by my pocket. I was currently on my hands and knees “looking” under my counter’s overhang while I could hear Kibum moving around on the other side of the cabinet under the bar part. I reached my hand into my pocket and let my fingers brush the Kibum’s set of keys and sighed. I need to give them back but what would he think if he knew I had taken them? He’d probably think I was nothing more than a child.

I sighed again and rested my head against a cabinet door. But I can’t just keep him here by not giving them to him, the longer I wait to give them back the later he is for his plans. I debated this for a little longer in my head until I decided to man up and take the blame for my actions.

“Hey…Kibum.” I called and what I got in reply was a muffled, “Yes?” then I heard a thump and him cry out in pain.

“Kibum! Are you okay?” I shouted rushing over to him to see him crouched under the bar holding his head.

“No, I think I’m dying! What is it with your place and my head!?” he shouted out and I laughed and helped him up, being careful of his head and placed him on the lower part of my counter.

“You’ll be fine, just let me get something to put on it.” I said smiling and patted his thighs before turning away to open the freezer. I’m sure I have something I could use. Just then I spotted a bag of frozen green beans and took them out and placed them on the counter by Kibum and closed the door.

Walking over to Kibum I stood right in front of him between his knees and picked the bag up but just as I was about to place it on his head where he had hit his head, I noticed how his nose wrinkled up in distaste.

“What?”

He paused and placed his hand on my wrist and moved it away from him. “Don’t you have anything else? Does it have to be Green Beans?” I laughed and put the bag back on the counter and watched him squirm in place to put distance between him in the bag but he didn’t get very far with me still standing in front of him.

“What’s so bad about them?” I asked while I picked them up and tossed them farther down the counter.

“I think the real question is what is there good about them.” He told me while glaring in their direction. “They don’t taste good at all and their texture is just gross, I mean have you ever eaten them? Nasty little buggers” I laughed and patted his cheek causing him to re-focus on me.

“I wouldn’t have them in my freezer if I didn’t eat them.” I told him and he looked at me in disgust. I thought about it for a bit then smiled at him again. “I’m sure I have some corn that I could use instead, or do you have a problem with vegetables in general?”

“Do you see this body?” he asked me and gestured to his torso, I couldn’t help but smile. “You don’t get this from eating junk food all day.”  At this I laughed out and covered my face, this guy is great.

Pulling back I went back to the freezer grabbing the green beans on the way, and opened the door, I waited a few seconds before poking my head back out. “So corn is good?”

He gave me a sarcastic smile and a thumb’s up. “It’s prefect.” Rolling my eyes I grabbed a bag and resumed what I was doing before. I held the bag on his head and he kept his eyes lowered to his lap.

 “You should probably tell your friend you’re going to be late.” I said after a few moments.

Through the fringe of his blond hair he glanced back up at me. “Already did.”

“Oh…” I said and shifted my hold on the bag and sigh. I really should give him his keys back now, I mean I have to do it soon. I could just make it look like I found it while I was searching too.  Just as I reached my hand into my pocket and took hold of the keys Kibum jumped in place and smiled.

“I know where I left them!” he shouts as he jumps off the counter and runs out of the room. Confused I just stood where I was and waited for him to come back, and sure enough he did, waving a pair of keys in the air on top of that too. “Yup, just as I thought, I left them with my wallet.”

I eyed the keys for a moment before asking, “Are you sure those are yours?” Because I’m pretty positive the keys in my pocket are yours but there’s no way I could say that without sounding like an idiot… An idiot who stole someone’s keys.

“I’m sure. See here,” he said holding the keys up so I could see. “I put my name on each set of my keys so that if I ever lose them someone could return them to me.” And sure enough there it was.  My big question was if those were his keys then who’s is in my pocket now?

“I’m glad you found them.” I tried not to sound so robotic but I couldn’t help it, I was too focused on trying to figure out whose keys I had.

“Yeah, now I can go and stop bugging you.” He said while walking towards my front door and started to slip on his shoes. While he wasn’t in the room I took this opportunity to slip the keys I had in my pocket out to examine them. I looked through all the charms that were on there to see if anyone of them had Kibum’s name on them. Just as I was about to give up I found it, Kim Kibum in cute little scribbles across the back of a little cat charm. So these defiantly his but so are the ones he has now. Slipping the keys I was holding back into my pocket I made my way to the front door and leaned on the wall and waited for Kibum to be done.

“So you’re sure those are yours, right?” I asked as soon as he straightened up from fixing his shoes.

“Of course I am.”  He told me while pulling his hood back over his wavy blond hair and fixing his glasses. “I checked and everything, my apartment and car keys are all there.”

“Alright…” I said still unsure then a thought came to me and I smiled. “Be careful out there, I don’t want to be getting a call in the middle of the night from you begging me to come and save you.” Hearing that he raised his eyebrow at me and smirked while I reached out and messed up the hair he just fixed. “Be a good boy Key.”

Smacking my hand away he asked, “Key?”

I grinned and pinched his cheek, “Yeah, you seem to have a thing with keys, so I’m going to call you Key for now on.” I told him while he pouted. “What, you don’t like my nickname?”

He tilted his head to the side and thought about it for a second before he smiled. “I like it. Sounds unique, like me.”

“Good, because I wasn’t going to change it anyway.” He laughed and pushed me.

“Jerk. Well now I really have to go. I feeling like I’ve been trying to leave for thirty minutes already.” He said while rubbing under his eyes.

I pulled the door open and pushed him out. “Then go already, I’m no good at these long goodbyes.” I told him but then started laughing when I saw him stumble and try to regain his balance. Hearing my laughter he glared at me and mumbled out another jerk.

Instead of closing the door I leaned on the doorframe, tilting my head down so I could look at him through my bangs and I smiled. “Don’t be a stranger Key, I’d like to hangout again sometime.” I told him well biting my lip in an attempt to hold back a smile.

He looked at me for a few seconds before answering. “I’ll see if I can make time for you, I’m a busy person you know.”

“Then I’ll just have to think of a way to make you hang out with me.” I told him while a plan was already forming in my head.

“You can’t make me do anything.” He said sticking his tongue out at me and then ran off down the hallway of the apartment complex.

“Oh is that right!? Well we’ll just see who doesn’t answer that midnight call begging me to save them!” I yelled after him and just as the elevator doors opened he yelled back.

“I don’t even have your number, so it would be a cold day in hell when that ever happens!”

“Oh… do you want it?” I yelled back but it was too late, the door had already closed.

Gutting out my bottom lip I walked back inside and closed the door. Well that was interesting to say the very least, awkward at first but interesting. Key, oh ho ho, you just wait. We’re going to be best friends, I thought while walking back to my living room with an evil smirk on my face. But he did raise a very important issue though, I don’t have his number so there’s no way for me to contact him. I mean I could ask Taemin but I don’t want to seem pushy so I’ll just have to wait for him to come to me. Plopping down on the couch I sighed, I guess it’s all up to him, but when I shifted and felt something sharp press into my leg and I smiled.

Maybe I won’t have to wait as long as I thought after all…