As I turned around to say goodbye, the skies turned a melancholic gray. A drop of water splashed on my nose, and before I could raise my hand up to wipe it away, another fell. And another. And another. And another -- the skies were crying.

Even the heavens knew how I was feeling at that exact moment. She and I spent a lifetime together, and watching her leave me like this was too much for my heart to bear.

She came to tell me that her wedding day was coming up soon, and that she wanted me to be there. The moment her request left her lips, my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach. Once those vows are said; once those rings are exchanged; once they kiss on that altar, everything will be done for. Even my regrets won't undo it. I was supposed to congratulate her. I was supposed to feel happy for her.

But I couldn't. Not with the feelings I have for her.

She handed me the white wedding invitation, a red ribbon wrapped around its length, and smiled brightly - the same smile that befriended me back when we were children. I felt myself interally melt a little at it, but stared dumbfoundedly at the object that she had handed me. The silver band embedded with diamonds on her ring finger glistened and gleamed, fully catching my attention and snapping me back into depressing reality.

That's when I decided that I wasn't going to go. The pain of seeing her vow herself to another man would be too much for me to handle.

Soon enough, I couldn't tell if the wetness on my face was merely the rain or my tears. The temperature of the hot streaks rolling down my cheeks gave it away, though - even if it told just me and no one else. And before I realized, it was pouring. The rain soaked me from head to toe, but I didn't care. The world around me seemed to disappear, for my gaze was fixed on her slowly retreating figure, an umbrella raised above her head as she left me behind in the cold. She had taken a piece of my heart with her.

I hadn't realized until now the depth of my feelings, but it was too late to take everything back, and I watched her go, unable to do anything. My body was frozen, whether from the icy rain or my paralyzed brain. I felt like my heart had stopped beating; like my blood had stopped flowing. The rain fell heavier the further she walked, and a piece of my heart cracked off with every further step she took.

All of those brilliant smiles she gave me, the bright laughter, her heartwarming voice - would I ever get to see or hear them again? My shattered heart grew heavier with every thought that crossed my mind. I was scared. What if this is the end, and she forgets about me?

But I couldn't. I just couldn't lift my foot, raise my voice, run after her, call after her, or anything. I just couldn't. I stood there like a statue, completely frozen, as rivers of tears flowed down my cheeks. Icy rain soaked into my clothes, and I felt the cold penetrate deep into my bones. Everything was heavy; too heavy - like the weight of the world had suddenly decided to sink down on me, and that's when I knew she was right from the start. My pride really would only bring me down - because even now, I couldn't push myself to run after her and simply tell her everything that I felt, even if it could bring her back to my side.

Why had I fallen in love with her? She was engaged by the time I fully recognized my feelings for her. It was too late. I should've known better than to give my heart to someone that I could never be with, and should've just given up, but I didn't - and this one mistake would surely haunt me for the rest of my life. But what could I do?

The achingly true realization splashed me like cold water in the face, but it didn't mean that she would stay. It didn't mean anything would change.

"If you love someone, let them go, and if they come back, then that's how you know." Is this what I'm supposed to do? Let her go? Let my very first love - the one who broke through my mental shields and lies and the facade - just walk away from me? She loved someone else, though. I had to let her go.

But once I let her go, she wouldn't be coming back. Would that mean that she wasn't the one for me? Surely, that was a bunch of bull because I knew my feelings for her, and I knew them well. But how could I possibly show them? What if she didn't feel the same way? She was to be happily wedded to someone else. How could I compete with that? I was so confused. So lost. So afraid. This was the first time I had ever been so vulnerable, and the feeling was terrifying.

I wanted her. I wanted her so bad. But I couldn't have her - because she was someone else's. This was the first time I had ever wanted something so badly in my entire life, yet I couldn't have it. Each raindrop that came in contact with my skin made its way through my body and stung at my heart, and soon enough, there was a swarm of bees inside of my chest.

The excruciating pain struck me down and my knees came in contact with the hard cement as I broke down. I punched the ground. Hard.
I was so frustrated with myself, and the reasons were unclear. Maybe if I had confessed to her earlier, none of this would've happened. I should have told her before he did, because when he did, he won her. I shouldn't have hestitated when I started recognizing my love towards her, but I did, and it ultimately led to my downfall.

I was supposed to be the one to wipe her tears whenever she cried. I was supposed to be the one that she could depend on for the rest of her life. I was the one that she was supposed to vow the rest of her life with. But I'm not the one. I'm not the one who will wipe her tears. I'm not the one who she will depend on for the rest of her life. I'm not the one whom she will vow the rest of her life to. And instead, someone else will be taking my place.

My tear-stained vision blurred, and I could no longer tell if she was still there or if she was truly out of my life forever.

But as the sounds of her shoes coming into contact with the ground slowly faded away, I knew that was the end.

Her love was gone, and it wasn't coming back.