First Goodbye

Chapter 2

“.”

Seunghyun noticed the rain that was coming down and realized that he left the house with no shoes and no umbrella. He let out a frustrated groan and attempted to shield his eyes from the darting drops with the use of his arm. You had left with such short notice that he didn’t even have time to tell you what he was thinking the entire night.

“, ,” he whispered to himself.

His eyes looked up and down his empty street. He didn’t even know where to start looking for you. Every place he looked he thought of you. Every corner, every street, every place and thing reminded you of him. How was he supposed to find you at this hour?

Seunghyun suddenly remembered the playground you two decided to meet at when he told you he was leaving to debut. His feet instantly began trekking towards the familiar playground, hoping that he’d find you there. The raindrops hitting his face were piercing and painful. Seunghyun didn’t know if it was because he was physically weak from your absence or because he was eternally ed up when it came to timing things right. His pace began to pick up speed when suddenly his mind flashed an image of you last night, withering underneath his touch. Another image of you groaning in the darkness caused him to sprint. While he ran through the pouring ran, his mind began replaying the old memories you two shared years ago.

“Why aren’t you wearing the ring I gave you?”

“That thing is so cheesy.”

“Its our friendship ring! How could you not wear that? I wear it everyday!”

“I never told you to wear it everyday, Seunghyun.”

“Jagi…”

Your eyes glared at him while he threw his head back in laughter. That name always irritated you for some reason. Though, he couldn’t help but tease you every time he wanted your attention. His pet name for you drove the girls in school mad and you were constantly targeted by them. He felt burdened for bringing you into his world, but he was completely selfish. Your presence calmed him; you were a bright light in his dark world. These days, not many people were honest with him like they were in the past. Even his oldest friends were changing before him. Seunghyun didn’t like change. He didn’t like feeling unprepared or caught off guard. While everyone around him molded themselves to fit his life, you were the only person who constantly remained true. You were honest, your heart and your words were honest, you were the most loyal and caring person Seunghyun had ever met.

The moment you two met, Seunghyun was immediately intimated by you. Over all the years of knowing who you were, he was always cautious around you. You were always the top student in all of his classes and he admired your determination in school. You always seemed dignified and proper in comparison with his rambunctious classmates. Seunghyun had always admired your mature nature. It reminded him of his mother. His mother was always calm and collected even in the most extreme situations. She was an old soul and Seunghyun respected her for that. You embodied the reincarnated younger version of his mother.

In Seunghyun’s eyes, you were perfect. You were everything he wanted in a girl. After you met him every other girl was nothing of importance to him. He only saw your face in a sea of people. He would ignore every attempt at his heart while he only yearned for yours. Though it never came. Seunghyun knew his place with you; he knew that you only thought of him as a friend and nothing more. But he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering towards dreams of you and him together. Just imaging you two together made Seunghyun’s knees buckle. Usually his strong demeanor and appearance scared others away and made him appear wicked and unaffected by anything or anyone. Though, little did everyone know that the only weakness Choi Seunghyun possessed was the small person currently underneath his gaze.

“Seunghyun!” You shouted towards him, snapping him out of his own thoughts. “Why are you staring at me again?”

A small blush appeared on Seunghyun’s cheeks and he turned his head so you didn’t notice it. “Sorry, I was just thinking of something.”

“Is it about that thing you called me here to tell me. You know, I left a very important study session to meet you here. You didn’t even buy me coffee or---”

Seunghyun grabbed the warm cup from behind his back and smirked down at you. You rolled your eyes and giggled while grabbing the coffee from him. You took a sip from the steaming cup and sighed in content.

“Anyway,” he continued. “I need to tell you something.”

Music was his first love. Everyone assumed it was the older female he was rumored to be hanging around lately, but they were all wrong. Music was his one and only love. It was the only thing that kept him company when he was alone and it was the only thing that soothed his broken heart as of now. After Seunghyun ended things with his older girlfriend it seemed that music was the only thing he could turn to, after you that is. He wanted to tell you that he was now officially single, but the topic never came up. You were never interested in his love life and that frustrated him. He wanted you to care; he wanted you to be jealous, he wanted you to show that you wanted to see him more than a friend. But again, Seunghyun was left with only his first love. Music.

His dramatic weight loss wasn’t for heath reasons but more for exterior motives. He was offered an opportunity through a mutual childhood friend. After being rejected, Seunghyun was determined to prove everyone wrong. With his new image and new confidence, Seunghyun appeared again and showed what he was worth. His star quality was recognized and he was now officially on the track to becoming one of the biggest stars in Korea. His training slowly started in the beginning of his senior year and trickled its way to the ending of it as well. Seunghyun would sneak away to practices after school ended and stayed up till the crack of dawn with the rest of his new members. He was preparing to be the best; he was preparing to show the world his talent. Inside, Seunghyun was scared. It wasn’t because he was unsure of his abilities, because he wasn’t; he was scared of one thing. You.

He knew that his new lifestyle was going to be different. Dramatically different. He knew he would lose friends over this new change. But one thing he didn’t want to lose was you. Seunghyun had been struggling for weeks, trying to think of the right thing to say to you. But nothing ever came out the way he envisioned it. There really was no way of telling your best friend that you were leaving.

“Why do you keep staring today?”

Seunghyun smiled at your words. Even after you two started getting close, you still were shy under his gaze. You mentioned to him before, you could never get comfortable with his intense gaze. His eyes were too dark and too deep for you. Little did Seunghyun know that every time you looked into his eyes, your mind would constantly get lost in them.

“Did I ever tell you that you’re getting prettier and prettier everyday?”

Seunghyun heard a small snort coming from your mouth. His low chuckle rumbled from his mouth as he heard your response. You were slowly gaining more and more confidence each day and it didn’t go unnoticed by Seunghyun. Your hair was getting longer and your features were now starting to stand out more than ever. Seunghyun noticed the new glances you would recieve from the guys in your class. He felt uncomfortable at them staring at you like that, so he always ended up pushing you out of their line of sight or sending them a small glare. You were Seunghyun’s little secret from the world. He was selfish and greedy. He wanted you to himself, he didn’t want to share. But now since he was leaving, he knew that he was going to have to do the one thing he promised to never do.

“Stop,” you whispered as you brushed more hair out of your face. You brought the cup to your lips once more and Seunghyun’s eyes automatically watched as your plump lips parted. His mind was wandering again and he had to remind himself why you were both here in the first place.

“Don’t hate me, please.”

“Why would I hate you, Seunghyun? Did something bad happen? Are you okay?”

“No, no, I’m fine. Its just—I’m going to say something that you might not want to hear.”

You paused before speaking slowly, “Okay.”

“I—I got signed at YG yesterday, officially. I’m going to debut. I’m going to be a rapper in one of his upcoming idol groups.”

“An idol group?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t even know you were training.”

“I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. I’m not supposed to tell anyone now apart from my family. I just—I wanted to give you an explanation for my absence.”

“When will you be gone from?”

“I leave in 2 days to start training with my members officially. Then we debut in 3 months.”

“2 days…”

Seunghyun heard the sadness in your voice. That was the feeling he was trying to avoid the minute he met you. He never wanted to hurt your feelings; he never wanted you to feel anything but happiness when you two were together. Seunghyun looked away from you and told himself not to break down in front of you. He had to force himself not to let the threatening tears fall, or let his voice crack at the sight of you. He turned around to face you again. His eyes landed on your lap, your fingers were playing with the friendship ring he had given you last month. Seunghyun could feel the tears form up in his eyes.

“You’re going to be such a great idol,” you whispered with a small smile on your face. It wasn’t like the usual happy smile that graced your lips. This smile was definitely a sad one. “You have the looks, the talent, everything. You’re going to be so successful, Seunghyun.”

“I don’t want to leave you.”

“Don’t say things like that.”

“I mean it though.”

You turned your body towards Seunghyun and your hand rested on his knee. Seunghyun felt the tears falling onto his face. You smiled warmly at him and reached over to wipe the moisture from his face. It was the first time anyone had seen him like this, apart from his own mother. You two were sharing such an intimate moment with one another, and Seunghyun was scared this would be the first and last time this would happen.

“I know you mean what you say. But think about this…you’re going to be an idol. You are going to have millions of fans all over the world cheering for you and loving you. You’re finally going to be able to show everyone what you’ve got. If you don’t do this, then you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. You have to do this. I know you’re scared but if you keep living in fear, then you’ll never be able to experience the greater things in life.”

“Why are you so smart?”

“I don’t know. I was just born this way.”

Seunghyun chuckled at your joke. He wiped his eyes and rested his hand on top of yours. Your head shot up at your skinship and Seunghyun laughed at your nervous appearance.

“I will try and call every day.”

“I know you will.”

“I’ll invite you over to company parties and you can meet all the other idols you obsess over.”

“I know you will.”

“I’ll take you out to fancy restaurants with all the money I make and now I can finally get my driver’s license so I can pick you up in the company car.”

You sighed with another sad smile. “I know you will.”

“Stop saying that. Stop saying it like that. You sound like you don’t believe me.”

“I believe you. Its just—I know how difficult and busy people get when they are famous. I don’t expect much after you start getting recognized. Just don’t forget about me, okay?”

“Stop…”

Seunghyun looked away from you again and shook his head. He didn’t understand why you were accepting fate so easily. He was promising to never let your friendship falter, but here you were just accepting the truth to it all like it was the easiest thing. Seunghyun wanted to fight for this; he wanted to keep whatever feelings he had for you that made him a bundle of nerves under your gaze. He never wanted to forget you; he couldn’t forget you as long as he lived.

“You can’t forget about me either, alright?”

A small giggle escaped your lips, “Alright.”

“I’m afraid you’re going to get a boyfriend while I am away and I won’t even be there to see if he is worthy of you.”

“I doubt I will find anyone while you’re gone.”

“Make sure to call me the minute someone tries to make a move on you. I will set them in their place.”

“Seunghyun!”

Seunghyun smiled at his name leaving your lips. He was going to miss this. He was going to miss feeling comfortable with you. He had never felt this way with anyone ever before. He was now going to face a whole new uncharted world that he was not familiar with. What scared him the most was that he was facing everything alone; no one was going to be by his side. Not you, not his friends, not even his family. If this was something he wanted, he would have to fight for it himself.

“I miss you already.”

“I miss you too.”

“I promise to call.”

“I promise to answer.”

“Remember, don’t forget about me.”

“I won’t. Remember to do the same.”

“I love you.”

You sighed at his last words to you. You never replied whenever he said, “I love you” to you. Those words were supposed to be said towards your significant other, not your best friend. Seunghyun always insisted on saying it you though, because it was what he truly felt for you. He was absolutely in love with you. He knew the day you said it back, he would know you were truly his. You looked down at your ring and Seunghyun watched as you slipped it on your finger.

He knew that he would always wait for you. Even after the fame dies and the fans grew old and tired of him, Seunghyun knew that he would always be in love with you.

Though he never anticipated the complications that would arise after he left you. He never realized how different everything would be after your presence was noticeably absent. He never realized that you would change, and he never realized that he would too. Seunghyun was blissfully unaware of the troubled future that was in hold for the both of you.

“.”

Seunghyun sat down defeated on the abandon park swing. He rested his head in his hands and tried to silence out the noise of the pouring rain heard in the background. His pounding headache wasn’t helping either. Thoughts, image, and voices of you were clouding his brain. You were everywhere in Seunghyun’s mind, but he couldn’t seem to find you physically right now in this moment.

Seunghyun slowly looked up at the old lampposts that lined the streets. He didn’t realize that tears were pouring down his face. He assumed it was only the rain. But the rain never tasted so salty before.

A.N.

HOLY MOLY :O 23 subscribers already and there has only been 1 chapter! I am completely speechless! Thank you to all the silent readers, subscribers, and the commenters! Seriously, you guys are the best! :D Sorry this update took forever but I hope you enjoy it! I don't know if you can by now but the POV's switch back and forth with each chapter. I know it still seems confusing but things will be cleared up soon! Thanks once again guys and I hope you guys all have a great day and happy readings!