I was absolutely, completely , 100% positive.  It was simple really, totally obvious.  I, Cho Kyuhyun, was definitely not gay. 

I was as straight as a ruler, and nothing in my entire life had ever led me to believe that I could ever have romantic feelings towards a man.  Honestly, the whole concept seemed highly foreign to me.  The idea of me with another man just didn’t compute.  In my eyes, it simply wasn’t logical.

It wasn’t like I was disgusted by the idea, I wasn’t homophobic, I just didn’t swing that way.  Homouality was something I saw every day, and to be honest, it didn’t bother me like it might have other people.

True, I was still highly awkward with the whole notion, but I didn’t disapprove.  It was rather hard to be adverse to the whole idea seeing as my best friend was openly, and proudly gay.

Frankly speaking, when he came out of the closet, hardly anyone was surprised.  I certainly wasn’t shocked.  In the back of my mind, I think I always knew.  It was mostly the fact that I could never picture Sungmin with a girl.  The thought of him actually kissing a woman that wasn’t his mother literally made me laugh.

Sungmin’s uality didn’t change my perception of him.  He was still my best friend, but I would be lying if I said that nothing changed.  I guess the thing that took the most adjusting was when he got himself a boyfriend.

I genuinely liked Yesung.  He was a good guy, a little strange, but still friendly and good natured.  It was a little weird when they cuddled and kissed, and truthfully, I didn’t want to know anything about their bedroom escapades.

But this wasn’t what I found hard to adjust to.  The change that most boggled my mind and messed with my head was the addition of Yesung’s best friend.  My world was literally rocked all thanks to one Kim Ryeowook.

I still remember the day he popped into my life, it was so sudden and unexpected, yet he just fit so seamlessly.  I still remember how that high voice chirped cheerfully, how he smiled at me like he was the happiest person in the world… that’s when all the trouble started…

God knows why that simple gesture made my heart race, and God knows why I blushed.  He was a guy and lord knew I was straight.  I was definitely not gay…

**********

“Kyu!”

I rolled my eyes and slapped away Sungmin’s hands as he ran over to hug me.  He pouted slightly, and I scoffed,

“Ugh, where’s Yesung?  I need him to take care of his over-affectionate boyfriend”

Sungmin’s pout deepened, but it didn’t really affect me.  I knew he wasn’t serious and I refused to give him any attention.  It appeared I knew him well because after some time, he dropped his cutesy act and punched my arm.

“Aish!  You’re no fun!”

“Yup” I replied easily, knowing he wanted to bicker with me.

He glared at me, and I smirked back victoriously.  He opened his mouth to complain some more, but he was interrupted when a sweet voice called out,

“Minnie-hyung!  Kyu!”

We both turned to see Ryeowook rushing over to us.  The petite man smiled brightly and waved excitedly.  Sungmin rushed towards him and immediately enveloped Ryeowook in his arms, squealing loudly,

“Aww!  It’s my little Wookie!  So cute!!!”

For some reason the sight made anger rise in my chest and I grumped,

“Geez!  What am I?  Chopper liver?”

At the sound of my sulky voice, Ryeowook immediately pulled away from Sungmin, looking highly apologetic.  Sungmin also looked over, but he smirked and rolled his eyes at me. 

Ryeowook quickly disentangled himself and walked over to me.  He wrapped his small arms around me, hugging me tightly.  I mentally cursed and froze as my heart started to thump loudly.  The blood rushed to my face and I cringed, knowing full well that I was blushing like a teenage girl.

Sungmin stood behind Ryeowook, watching my reactions carefully.  He smiled and shot me a knowing look to which I shook my head at.  Sungmin frowned but I simply ignored it.  We had had this type of conversation too many times and it always had the same result with Sungmin accusing me of liking Ryeowook and me telling him he was insane.

The smallest finally pulled away, and looked up at me, giving me a sunny smile.  I gave him a shy smile back, still feeling the hot sting of the blush in my cheeks.  Luckily, I didn’t have to explain my flustered state, Yesung arrived and he was the distraction I needed.

Sungmin immediately dropped his appraising stare and I could practically see the little hearts taking the place of his pupils.  I stifled an amused snort as Sungmin immediately turned his aegyo on full force.  He looked at Yesung with his signature pout and whined cutely,

“Sungie!  Kyu’s being mean to me!”

Yesung chuckled and pulled his pink loving boyfriend into a tender embrace.

“Oh really, for some reason I think it’s probably your fault”

I smirked and gloated,

“Psh!  See Min?  I knew Yesung was way too smart to fall for your little cutesy !”

Sungmin’s eyes flashed dangerously and I gulped loudly, my victorious smile immediately faltering under his murderous glare.  Yesung laughed at our antics and walked over to Ryeowook, giving his best friend a gentle hug.

I stiffened at the sight, my fists unconsciously curling into fists at my side.  For some reason, seeing the two friends so close made me feel uncomfortable… almost angry.

I shook my head, clearing such ridiculous things from my head.  It’s not like seeing them hug was a new occurrence.  Yesung was insanely protective and affectionate with his best friend.  It was rather interesting, Yesung was an easy going guy, always relaxed and calm.  However, when he was mad, it was scarier than anything I’d ever seen before… I had only seen my hyung get mad for two reasons…

One, he practically castrated the last guy who tried to hit on Sungmin… trust me it was ugly…  and two, the last guy who tried to mess with Ryeowook ended up in the hospital, three broken ribs and 37 stitches later.

Ryeowook’s voice broke me from my thoughts, and I focused my eyes on him.  He was smiling and waving as he walked away.  As soon as he was out if sight, I felt disappointed.  I frowned slightly, no longer feeling the warm tingly sensation in my stomach.

I turned back to the Yemin couple and cringed when I saw them kissing passionately, Sungmin’s hand slipping under his lover’s shirt.

“!  Have some restraint!” I yelped, turning away in embarrassment.   Sungmin broke the kiss but he made no attempt to step away from Yesung.  He glared at me and he hissed,

“If you don’t like it, then scram!  You damn blocker!”  I rolled my eyes, used to my best friend’s abuse.  I debated fighting back, but the lustful looks that Sungmin kept giving my hyung made me decide against it.  A Sungmin was a dangerous Sungmin.

I finally rolled my eyes and hurried away, I was late for gym class anyway.  I walked into the locker room and was greeted by my friends Donghae and Siwon.   

“We’re swimming today” Donghae informed me causing me to groan in annoyance.  I wasn’t a huge fan of swimming, and I hated the smell of chlorine.  I sighed and opened my locker, taking out my school mandated swim trunks.  As I undressed, my brain wandered back to Ryeowook.

I really didn’t know how I felt about my little hyung.  Sungmin insisted that I had a crush, but I refused to believe it.  I couldn’t be gay… I was too straight…

However, I was beginning to doubt myself as the mere thought of Ryeowook made my stomach flutter.  I bit my lip and shook my head, doing my best to rid myself of such thoughts.  My reaction was troubling and I was starting to question myself.  I cautiously peeked to my side, testing my reaction.

Siwon and Donghae were completely shirtless, their abs guaranteed to make any girls pass out.  I studied them carefully, waiting to feel something, anything.  I sighed in relief when I remained unaffected.  Feeling assured, I quickly pulled on my swim trunks and headed out to the school’s pool.

I stepped out in the slightly humid air and I crinkled my nose in displeasure.  I was still a bit early so I settled myself on the bleachers, prepared to just zone out until the beginning of class.  I glanced up lazily at the sound of my name, and my eyes widened in surprise when I saw Ryeowook waving and walking over to me.

“W-wookie?” I asked, a faint blush coloring my cheeks as my heart rate sped up.  He grinned and I felt those damned butterflies return. 

“Hi Kyu” he chirped in his high melodic voice.

“W-what are you doing here?” I asked as he sat next to me.  He smiled sweetly and replied,

“I have open period so I stopped by on my way to the music room.  I was kind of worried about you, you’ve seemed a little… off lately”

I silently cursed myself for being so obvious and my cheeks turned even redder.  I inhaled sharply when he gently placed his hand on my forehead.

“Hmm, you feel a bit warm” he murmured, sounding worried.  I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest and I quickly pushed away his hand, shocked by the rush of emotions.  He looked a bit startled and he stared at me awkwardly.

“Uh sorry” he apologized sounding sheepish.  I felt bad for pushing him away, but I was too befuddled to really respond.  He smiled faintly and stood, brushing off his pants and saying,

“I’ll see you later”  I nodded dumbly and just watched him go.  For some reason, I hated the feeling of him leaving and before I even thought about it, I called out,

“Ryeowook!”

He turned to look back, but then sudden action made him slip on a puddle of water and he let out a yelp when he fell into the pool.  He immediately started splashing around, obviously in a panic.   I was running towards him in an instant and I jumped in, pulling him into my arms.  He calmed down at the contact and I was finally able to pull him to safety.

I carried him out of the water, surprised at how light he was.  He looked at me with wide, frightened eyes and I couldn’t help but hug him closer to my chest.  I decided it would be best to take him to the nurse and, despite my dripping state, I ran down the hall, my hyung cradled in my arms.

I burst into the nurse’s office and set a dazed Ryeowook on one of the cots.  I glanced around and frowned when I saw the nurse was gone.  I turned my attention to my hyung when he whimpered softly.  I didn’t know what to do, but all I knew was that my heart ached at seeing him look so fragile.  I sat next to him and wrapped my arms around him, doing my best to comfort him.

After a long silence he finally whispered,

“I-I can’t swim…” I nodded and tightened my hold on him, telling him it was fine.  There was another period of silence before he spoke again.

“Thank you” he said, and I looked down to see a small smile on his face.  I felt my heart begin to thump loudly and I replied shakily,

“Y-you’re welcome”

“Are you cold?” he asked, and it was only at that moment that I remembered I was dripping wet and wearing only a bathing suit.  I finally released him, embarrassed by my under-dressed state.  He looked at me in concern and my breath caught in my throat when I finally got a good look at him.

His white shirt was made translucent by the water and it clung to his lithe body like a glove.  The wet fabric showed every contour of his slight frame, leaving little to the imagination.  I flushed at the sight and I felt my trunks grow tight at the sight.

“Kyu?” he asked, sounding concerned. 

It was that damn voice, that wonderful lilting voice that sent shivers up my spine and made confusing emotions rise up in me.  It was that damn voice that did me in.

Without a second thought I grabbed him and pulled him close to me.  I ignored his surprised squeak and I crashed my lips on his.  I squeezed my eyes shut, not understanding what I was doing, or why I was doing it.  Ryeowook was as still as a statue, and I regretted my impulse and tried to pull away as shame invaded my consciousness.

However, before I could remove my lips from his, he was kissing me back.  I let out a gasp as the intoxicating sweetness overwhelmed me.  My heart raced and goose bumps rose on my arms as bolts of electricity ran down my spine.  I held him close and his arms encircled my neck, his hands tangling in my hair.

Nothing registered in my mind except for the utter contentment that washed over me.  I had never felt so happy or complete as I did at that exact moment.  Finally, lack of air caused us both to break apart and reality set in.  I stared at my hyung, not sure how I was supposed to respond.

His cheeks were pink and he looked up at me hesitantly.  We stared at each other for a while before I suddenly blurted out,

‘’I love you”

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped open and he stuttered,

“B-but Minnie-hyung said you were s-straight.  H-how…?”

I shook my head, cutting him off,

“I don’t know, I’ve never questioned my uality before… but I’ve also never felt like this about anyone else before… only you…”

His eyes grew misty and a sweet smile formed on his lips,

“I-I love you too” he whispered, blushing cutely.  I smiled widely and kissed him again, not caring about anything besides how good it felt.

I was done with denial, and I had finally reached acceptance.

I Cho Kyuhyun was as straight as a ruler, there was no way I could ever be gay… except for Kim Ryeowook… only for Kim Ryeowook.