Tablo, cupid1 - because he was conceived under the table in a Mexican restaurant and Miss Li failed Spanish. Instead of naming him Mesa, she ended up removing the “e” in table and replacing it with an “o.” But I’m sure Tablo would rather be Tablo than Mesa, wouldn’t you agree?

TOP, cupid2 - because he was conceived while she was on top. Usually Miss Li preferred the bottom because it required less work but there’s a first for everything.

Micky, cupid3 - because he was conceived at Disneyland amusement park with the guy wearing the huge Mickey Mouse outfit. Don’t worry, none of the kids saw them in action.

Jayjay, cupid4 - because he was conceived while Tablo, TOP, and little Micky were watching “Jay Jay the Jet Plane” on TV.

Xiah, cupid5 - because he was conceived in the hospital at a very particular location. Don’t ask.

Suki, cupid6 - because he was conceived at Suki’s Sushi Parlor. Even though Suki seriously sounds like a girl’s name, that just shows how lazy Miss Li is. She didn’t even bother to do what she did for Tablo and replace the “i” with an “o” to make it a little more masculine. Poor Suki (who is a guy).

G-Dragon, cupid7 - because he was conceived after she drank her favorite cocktail which became his namesake. It’s surprising she hasn’t used this name six sons before.

Now, Miss Li, being the lazy goddess of love that she is, made her sons do her job for her while she “supervised” (meaning do whatever the hell she felt like while they got people to fall in love for her). Making people fall in love, sounds like a fun job right? Nope. Not when it’s without pay. That’s right. She doesn’t pay them for their hard work so they have to support themselves by taking up another job. And since their other job (not the cupid one) pays almost , they live together in the same house and split the cost. A house with eight rooms... but there are only seven of them? They tried to rent the last room out but it never really worked out. Trust me, they tried. So, they have to split the cost of that last room too. Why aren't there any houses with seven rooms? No clue. They were just out of luck like that.

“Mom, can’t we even get a little compensation for making a successful match?”

“How many times do I have to tell you? Miss Li... it’s Miss Li! Mom makes me sound so old.”

“But you are old. Maybe two thousand years old give or take a hundred.”

“I’m docking that from your paycheck!”

“You don’t give us a paycheck like... ever.”

“Fine! Then your imaginary paycheck. But seriously boys, you know how long and torturous it was for me to carry you in my womb? I looked so ugly like a pumpkin! And you can’t even repay me this little. I’m disappointed.”

“Mom... I mean, Miss Li... we weren’t in there for long. According to Uncle PSY, he said we popped out almost instantly.”

“But still... it felt like a hundred years to me.”

And it went on and on like that so the boys ended up never asking about money again... even when their Mom... I mean, Miss Li, gave them difficult jobs like this one I’m about to tell you.

It all started when...