Playing with words

Colors.

Kyuhyun's been wondering for a long time now. What, what's the meaning of a life like his? It's in those moments when he has nothing to do that he begins asking himself things and the questions come and come, endless questions. He's been wondering why, why does it seem that all of the people that he knows, all of them conduct a life without any obstacles, a wonderful colorful life. This doesn't happen to Kyuhyun. He's never had an easy way. Most of the time, he finds himself pretending,showing to others a happy side of himself,joyful and funny,a side that it's part of Kyuhyun because he's learnt that if he doesn't smile to life, all is left to him is to pity himself and he doesn't want that. Yet, Kyuhyun wonders if someone will ever understand that other side of him,that other side that's sad,disappointed,upset. He wonders, he wonders until Hyukjae grabs his arm,tells him 'you're sulking' when Kyuhyun asks why and then he drags Kyuhyun away to buy him an ice cream. It's later, days,weeks later that Kyuhyun understands that Hyukjae's ice creams don't answer his questions, but they color a part of his life. Red.

Hugs.

Hyukjae has learnt that there are different types of hugs. There are hugs that seem unbreakable like Youngwoon's or sheepish and  weak,yet equally full of emotions like Ryeowook's. There are hugs like Donghae's which are hugs that tickle Hyukjae's neck because Donghae likes nuzzling his nose on the back of Hyukjae's neck or he digs his face on Hyukjae's collarbone and his hair tickles Hyukjae's neck. Hyukjae's favorite hugs are Kyuhyun's. Kyuhyun's hugs are sheepish and weak like Ryeowook's,but when he nuzzles his nose on the back of Hyukjae's neck or he digs his face on Hyukjae's collarbone and his hair tickles Hyukjae's back, Hyukjae thinks that he can feel Kyuhyun's emotions and they're many and strong and he thinks that they somehow make Kyuhyun's hugs unbreakable like Youngwoon's.

Gift.

We often give things to people that we love. They're things,but not simple things because when you receive something from someone that you love, it's a gift. You look at it,at whatever it is, as if it's a gift. Hyukjae's given Kyuhyun the most precious thing and no, it's not a videogame, not a console, nothing material,but it's the most precious.  Hyukjae has given Kyuhyun the feeling of 'missing'. Missing. When Hyukjae's too far Kyuhyun misses him. Even when Hyukjae's around, Kyuhyun can see him,but he isn't touching him, Hyukjae isn't Kyuhyun's, Kyuhyun misses him.

Promise.

They know that there's nothing that lasts forever. Hyukjae knows that nothing lasts forever. That's why when Kyuhyun is about to say it to him, Hyukjae shakes his head at Kyuhyun and tells him to promise him not forever, but to promise him that as long as Kyuhyun loves him, Kyuhyun does it with all his heart,intensely. Without 'ifs', without 'buts',without 'limits'. He wants Kyuhyun's love to sink in his skin and to travel,travel until love finds his heart as it's doing now. An intense love. A love where Hyukjae is Kyuhyun's and Kyuhyun's only, Kyuhyun's friend, Kyuhyun's lover, Kyuhyun's hearbeat, Kyuhyun's last and first thought of the day.That's what Hyukjae asks Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun agrees with the condition for Hyukjae to love him with the same intensity.

To fall in love.

Hyukjae falls in love every time Kyuhyun's fingers and Kyuhyun's gaze touch his body, he falls in love every time Kyuhyun and he make love, he can fall in love with Kyuhyun every single day. And he does. Hyukjae falls in love with Kyuhyun when they share a laugh, when he looks at a picture where his face looks like a joke,but Kyuhyun's smiling and that makes the picture lovely,when he listens to a song and remembers that Kyuhyun's sung that song. Hyukjae falls in love when Kyuhyun talks about him to others and when he talks about Kyuhyun to others, when Hyukjae talks about others and even if he doesn't see any pout on Kyuhyun's lips, Hyukjae knows that Kyuhyun doesn't like it, when Kyuhyun talks about others, Hyukjae pouts and Kyuhyun grins at him. Hyukjae can really fall in love with Kyuhyun every single day. Honestly, everytime, every single minute,every single second.

Stars.

Kyuhyun can do anything when he's in love and he,Hyukjae,loves him back. Yes, anything. Even counting all the stars.

Thanks for reading.