Innocent Love

iamforgotten

Paradise.

You clicked on the bookmark of your favorite website. It was the only place you actually go to whenever you’re online. It was your heaven. And solely where you’d be able to find him.

His name was Xiah, and he wrote the best, and most heart warming – and breaking – stories of love.

That was all you knew about him.

Nothing more.

Xiah was mysterious and he wasn’t the kind to really give away things about himself. That made you like him more. Well, besides the fact that he had you pouring your heart out at the way his Lee Jihoon proposed to Kim Yoojin in one of his earlier stories. Granted that it never really happened but it stuck to you, nonetheless. That was the reason why you continued reading his works and, with every piece you encountered, you fell in love with him – his writing – even more.

You weren’t able to go online for more than a week because you and your classmates were whisked away to somewhere ancient for an immersion. That was why when you arrived home, you went straight to your room and turned your computer on. But you weren’t expecting what was waiting for you.

There was a pop-up window, notifying you of a private message from one of the Cherubims of Paradise. That wasn’t the surprise, it was the subject matter.


You have been appointed as Principality.



A Principality. It was the Global Moderator position at Paradise. It was a rank lower than the Cherubim (Co-Administrator) but higher than an Archangel (Moderator). It was said that Paradise was one of the strictest forums online – especially one mainly for fanfiction. And the moderating staff there was like no other.

Rumor had it that Paradise recruits one staff member every three years. And it was said that there is a specific Principality that looks over a number of members. They would screen each and every person who registers in the site, looking out for whoever has that something that Paradise needs.

Why were you being appointed as a Principality, again?

You weren’t even an Angel or an Archangel. And you were never active in the discussions. You were a mere Wandering Soul, a second level member (there are 6 non-staff member levels – the Angel is the highest). You had so few posts that you were sure you’d be one of those deleted if ever the Archangels decided to take off those who had less than an average of 4 posts a day.

It was a sad reality. But you only clicked on the reply button if it was Xiah’s story. And even thought the guy posts a lot of fantastic stories, he still hadn’t posted that many. Which would bring you to the question at hand: what made them want you on their team?

The private message didn’t give you any answer. It merely congratulated you on your new position, and bid you welcome. But it also served as an invitation to a meeting for all the staff members. It was to be held three weeks from the day the PM was sent to you.

You then received another notification, this time from your online messenger, stating that there was a certain Odysseus person who had added you to their messenger contacts. And then, they sent you an instant message.

Odysseus: Hi.

You waited for a while, not really knowing what to do, how to respond.

Odysseus: My name is Junsu. I go by thetraveller at Paradise.

And you realized that he was a Cherubim – but not the one who sent you the private message.

Odysseus: You’re forgotten., right?

That made you type a response, starting a conversation with the stranger.

TheZhang: Yes, that’s me…
TheZhang: Nice to meet you…
Odysseus: Finally! I thought you’d never reply.

Kim Junsu. He was one of Paradise’s earliest members. He started out as an Angel and was made Archangel, then a Cherub when the one in the position retired. He loved gangster-themed stories. And those filled with angst and death because to him, only those stories could depict real life. He hated romances because he believes that they are all cliched and surreal. Those would never happen in reality, he once told you. Love and love stories are a waste of time.

At first, when you read those words on the screen, you didn’t know how to respond. You couldn’t type any response; you didn’t know how to refute. All you could do was sit there and stare at the screen until the lights – the electricity – went out, leaving you in the dark. And when it seemed that the electric power wouldn’t come back on, you stood from the computer chair and walked to your bed. You laid in the dark, thinking of nothing in particular.

And Xiah’s stories came into mind.




You walked into the room. It was small but sufficient enough for the group that was holding a meeting there. There was a long table in the middle, surrounded by fifteen chairs.

“I’ve been wondering how you look like…” a guy who was seated beside the only empty chair voiced out.

He was staring at you – like everyone else was – with a smile on his adorable face. He stood from his seat and ambled towards you, taking your arm gently and guiding to your seat.

“Hi, Liyin,” it was a woman this time. She had her head leaning on her joined hands as she watched your every move. But she was smiling, and that very simple gesture made you feel at ease, well, a little. “This is a welcome party for you.”

You cocked your head to the side, confused as to why they were celebrating a party in your honor. You opened your mouth to say something, only to have it shut again because you forgot. You were nervous. That was how you were when you were nervous.

“Aren’t you going to say something, Liyin?” the guy from earlier asked. You shook your head in response, making him turn back to his other companions. “Why don’t we all make an introduction of ourselves? And be sure to include your usernames at Paradise… maybe that’ll make her more comfortable.”

“Why don’t you start, Junsu?” the woman at the far end of the table suggested.

The guy beside you nodded and stood again.

“Well, you’re supposed to know me by now…” he whispered with a wink. “My name is Kim Junsu. 23 years old. I graduated at Seoul University. I am a copyright editor at Jung Publications. And I am, primarily, thetraveller at Paradise.”

The others went on after him. They were all friendly and warm towards you. But you still couldn’t help but think that they made the wrong decision in making you a Principality.

“I was the one who came up with the idea recruiting you,” a girl, the one seated beside Junsu, said. You remembered her name was Soojin. “I think you’re right for the job… you know… of observing someone… you’re kind of like a stalker,” she giggled. “But in a good way.”

You couldn’t answer, still. You just sat there looking like a moron.

“I had been a staff member for 6 years now. And I was the one who had that girl,“ she pointed at a girl with red-rimmed glasses, “recruited last time.” She continued to smile. “Oh, Junsu, did you know that Liyin here is your biggest fan? She’s even a bigger fan than I was!”

Your eyes widened at that. “But I’ve never read any of Junsu’s stories…” you finally said.

“Oh? I beg to disagree, my dear,” Soojin retorted. “You’ve read quite a lot of Junsu’s works. And, by the looks of your replies, you loved each and every one of them.”

You turned to Junsu, eyes wide and glaring. “You’re Xiah?”

You stood from your seat and shouted at the top of your lungs. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this. I’m leaving.”

You scrambled towards the door. Ready to leave Paradise behind you. Ready to leave Xiah… or so you thought.

“Liyin, wait!” you heard him calling your name, and you began to run, tears starting to roll down your cheeks. “Liyin!”

You refused to stop, even though he was already right behind you, and you couldn’t even see through the blur of your tears. He was jogging, while you run as fast as you could but there wasn’t any distance between the two of you.

“Liyin—“

“You said you don’t believe in it… you said it was a waste of time… but – but you wrote the most beautiful things—“ you rambled.

“Liyin, look. I didn’t know… I – I guess I should have given attention to the comments on my posts but… I’m sorry. Please come back with me.”

You shook your head. “You don’t believe… tell me, tell me where all those stories came from? All those emotions… all the love… where did they come from? How could you write such things if you didn’t believe in them”

Junsu sighed as he took a step closer to you. He placed you hand in his, smiling as a tear escaped his heart. “They came from here,” he then placed your hand on his chest, above his heart. “They came here. They are what I’ve been dreaming of finding. Love. For so long, I thought that I can never have it. But I have always wanted to. I have always wanted to find love. And… I think I’ve finally found it.”