"You are not a loser" he screams so loud that my ears feel like exploding. He hits my face. Once, twice... I stop counting because he doesn't stop. "Are you?!"  I am too weak to answer or fight against, so I just lay on my bed and let him do what he does. "You will never gonna end like me!!" The smell of alcohol fills my nose, makes me feel dizzy. I don't know how much longer I can handle this pain. He hits me harder. He is out of control. "You are not A LOSER!" He repeats. He is mad. He is extremly angry... I don't know if he wants to kill me. He hits my back with his belt. I feel how my whole body is burning with pain, so much pain that I can't even feel it anymore... Even though I don't see her, I know, my mother is at the door watching us, crying. "Loser..."

Fastly I wiped the tears away with the back of my hands. So fast and hasty that my cheeks started to hurt.

"Hey, hey!" Zico abruptly grabbed my wrists "You don't have to kill yourself, you know, not here, not now... just chill!" He looked at me with huge eyes. I got irritated. He then let go my hands after. I never wanted to be a loser. I never wanted to be weak again. That moment I swore to myself that I will not cry for anybody ever again. 

I looked at Zico, holding back my tears that tried to find the way out of my eyes. I fighted against them with all my strength. "I am not a loser" I whispered, but more to myself than to him. Zico just looked at me, grinned a little, he didn't say anything and I was not sure if he didn't hear me or just played it off.

We sat there maybe for an hour or two or even three or maybe just some minutes. I totally had lost the sense of time. I can't even remember how many Soju bottles we ordered and how much I drank. All I knew was that I could feel how the world was turning around me. For a moment I even thought I could catch the air with my fingers. After some hours we just stood up and walked to the exit as the owner, a fat lady, called after us that we have to pay before we can leave. Zico got slower and acted like he would search for money in his pockets. He gave her a fake sideway grin which made him look really ridicilous. And this time I wasn't even suprised as he grabbed my wrist again and we ran out of the restaurant without paying and the fat lady had no chance to keep up with us.

We ran and ran and broke the sickening silence of the drakness with our laughters. And then we stopped after we were far enough from the restaurant.

"Did you seen her face?" Zico held his stomach with his hands as we stopped. I watched him, even though my vision got really blurry I could tell that his laughing made me feel really happy. I wanted to dance. To sing. I wanted to play around. But maybe it was also just the alcohol, the reason for my rollercoaster-alike mood.

"So, you said you have nowhere to go? Yeah?!" Zico asked me after a while as he also tried to keep me on my feet since I had a hard time to keep my balance. I shook my head "No--where" I answered with a shaky voice, my eyes half closed.

"Like, just today or... where do you live?" he went on. We made some steps and then stoped again. "Zik-ko, don't ask.... I will sleep here... somewhere" I tried to sit down on the street right away but he pulled me back up and we both almost tripped.

"Are you crazy? You know if you try to sleep here, well, then the chance for you to never wake up again is by....100%?"

I just shrugged with my shoulders. Then I slowly got really close to Zico and grabbed his arm, leaned my head on his shoulder. "Please take me to your place" I said slowly and I couldn't even believe my own words how I said it so naturally as if it's nothing. But all I wanted was to sleep in a warm bed. I wanted to be away from this cold.

Zico looked at me, first a little bit confused but then put on his famous grin. He slowly nod his head in agreement. I smiled back. My heart started to beat faster as I kept looking into his eyes...

I got to know Zico as a crazy person. Wild and free. He was totally different from all the people I had met till then. He had a huge effect on me, with the way he looked and the way he talked. The way he wasn't afraid to say what he thought and didn't show any fear. I had watched Zico, as the men chased after us. His expression had reminded me of my childhood, back when we did all these forbidden things with Jaehyo. The same expression Jaehyo had when he won a game. Maybe this was also one of the reasons I felt this great aura coming from him. I just felt save next to him before I even knew him.

note: aaah this is just a very short update but please enjoy! i will try to update more in the future and go on with the storyline. please show some love!! <3