Waiting.

That’s what he has always done. That’s all that he could do since that cold, fateful day.

It’s not like he could just run out of his house onto the streets in the darkest of nights and straight into his arms where he belongs. Where he can protect him no matter what his company says. Because Changmin knows in whose arms he belongs. Arms that appear strong, from its flesh to its veins and sinews. But in fact those arms are as vulnerable as a child lost alone in the streets, finding its home after he has been thrown away by his father. Changmin has sworn to protect him; he was not about to give up now.

Yet even though he would not give up on him, there were bigger things that were holding him back. People much more powerful and sinister than he is; people who are ready to destroy lives, homes, relationships.

He has no choice but to wait.

He has to wait for the right timing or else his hyung who has protected all four of them all along will get a mental beating. He didn’t deserve that punishment; not one of the five of them deserved it. He could runaway anytime; he could bring him back and defend him against all the threatening and ill-doing.

But not now.

Everyone is too fragile. Every moment, every movement.

They are being watched. It’s as if they are held at gunpoint and every wrong move will determine their last. If Changmin had his way, he would end it. But no one deserves that punishment. He won’t be selfish and do this for himself. He is protecting everyone. Cassiopeia is too precious for him to disappoint.

But isn’t what he was about to do a selfish thing?

This he thought to himself as he watched the black convertible park in front of the Japanese restaurant he is waiting at. His eyes drank in the gloriousness of his body. His fist clamped as he remembered the familiar sensation of his smooth black hair in his hand and all over his body. He remembered the impossibly muscular arms that restrained him even though he had strong arms himself. Then his eyes settled on another pair of eyes, staring directly into his own.  Those are the eyes he always loved to kiss. And even though they showed traces of guilt, anger and tiredness, he will never mistake the obvious hint of extreme happiness and the deep-set love and longing in them. They are as he remembered them.

Jaejoong is as he remembered him.

He entered the room and Changmin couldn’t help but relax into his gaze; he always had that effect on him.

And suddenly he forgot everything. Like he wasn’t waiting for him at all. Like there hasn’t been years since he last basked in his godlikeness. Like he didn’t feel unloved in all those years of waiting.

As Jaejoong inched closer, Changmin started to stand up. He didn’t know what to say or do. He wanted so much to grab Jaejoong’s arm that he is about to extend to him. He wanted to encircle him in his arms then and there so he could protect him, the same way he protected Changmin back when they were younger.

He can’t help but be selfish. This could be the only time he will be. Surely, they wouldn’t mind a few seconds of his self-gratification?

But before he could even act out that indulgence, Jaejoong pulled him into his capable arms, right into his body. He felt Jaejoong smile and he couldn’t help but smile as well as he inhaled the intoxicating scent of the man he loved. It is the silent reunification of their body and souls.

At that moment, Changmin realized Jaejoong did what he always does: arrive at the right time.

“I’m glad you waited.”